Bedroom
Is telling someone who they can and can’t see abuse?
Bedroom
Is controlling who a partner sees or speaks to abuse?
Speak Out against abuse
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Meg
08/02/2012
this is abuse and isn't a healthy relationship. you will be so much happier away from the relationship, there is no talking through things with a controller like this, be strong and walk away it may hurt but it will be better for you in the long run. take care xxx
ReplyMeg - 08/02/2012
Anon
05/02/2012
I have a boyfriend who checks up on me all the time, often gets very jealous, I am scared of what to say around him and often delete posts on facebook incase they make him angry/jealous. Is this controlling? I never realised it was but recently I have only just noticed how he will ring me constantly if I don't answer straight away. However, he has never hit me or got very angry, he will usually cry until he gets his own way. I tried to finish the relationship but he got my friends involved, cried and begged me not to leave him and he wouldn't stop contacting me constantly. Is it me being silly, I just don't know?
ReplyAnon - 05/02/2012
Hi Anon. Thank you for getting in touch. Please find someone to talk to about your boyfriends controlling behaviour, you should not have to suffer like this and it is important you try to get some help. If you are finding it hard to speak to someone about this you can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem or go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact ChildLine by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards. Alternatively you can call Women’s Aid on 0808 2000 247, or email them on helpline@womensaid.org.uk, the website is http://www.womensaid.org.uk/
Sadie
12/01/2012
Abusive should have been dealt with ages ago. Especially in teenage realationships. I hope I don't experience stuff like this, and I hope others won't let it happen to them.
ReplySadie - 12/01/2012
justin kitto
24/12/2011
abuse bad man worse for girls need more sites to help
Replyjustin kitto - 24/12/2011
anon
22/12/2011
i think this video is too obvious it starts of far more subtl than this
Replyanon - 22/12/2011
A guy who hates abuse
22/12/2011
I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for just under 3 years, i can't understand how any bloke could do stuff like that to a girl, never mind their girlfriend who their meant to love. I've always spoiled my girlfriend, never hurt her, short of accidentally pulling her hair with when its caught on my watch and i feel dreadful for that, i cant imagine how id feel if i meant to hurt her. Any blokes watching this if you know your friend is abusing his girlfriend or even boyfriend, don't stand for it. but also any girls watching this thinking oh only blokes are abusive, that's utter rubbish, i have friends who have been in a relationship where if they don't do what their girlfriend wants they would through tantrums, one of my mates has lost the use of his left eye because his girlfriend threw a glass vase at him because he went to a party without asking her to come with him.
ReplyA guy who hates abuse - 22/12/2011
Pixie
21/12/2011
I was once in an abusive relationship. I met him in college through friends and within two weeks we had hit it off. Within a month we were convinced we were in love. I'm a straight A student who has just gained a place at Oxford (last week, hooray!) and he was at first proud of me and eager to show off his 'clever girlfriend' to all his friends. However, the honeymoon period soon faded when he started pressurizing me to have sex and do things I was uncomfortable with. "But if you loved me you would..." was a constant refrain. Eventually I gave in because I believed he loved me. All this time he had been becoming more and more controlling and obsessed with my whereabouts. He would obsessively check my texts, demand to know where I was and who I was with and soon it became a case of 'you have to stay home or we're over.' The worst came in the new year when he started to hit me and physically force me to do things. Friends asked me about bruises, about why they hadn't seen me for a fortnight or more. I lied. I felt so alone. BUT you can get out. There's a happy end to my story. My friends didn't support me, but thankfully I was blessed with a loving mother who did, and just before my 17th birthday, I escaped. I got great grades and I've got great university prospects now. There can be a happy ending, so get out. I guarantee you it will hurt less being without them than with them in this kind of hell. My thoughts are with you all, Pixie x
ReplyPixie - 21/12/2011
Anonymous
19/12/2011
This video has always really scared me but i think it is really good how people have the heart to make a video to help others
ReplyAnonymous - 19/12/2011
danielle and chloe
18/12/2011
well i would keep on going because he can get done for abuse
Replydanielle and chloe - 18/12/2011
Anon
14/12/2011
i have been in a relationship like this in the past, so i can really relate to this however he was physically and mentally violent to me, i used to hang on to every word he said and believe everything he said. he made me feel really small and that i wasnt worth anything, he used to call me a slut and that i was ugly and how i should be grateful to be with him because no body else wanted to be with me. I knew deep down he was wrong but i felt like i was nothing without him and i thought tht if i lost him i would be nobody even though it was him that cheated on me he was violent towards me and manipulated me.I finally got out after he was convicted of assult and even a couple of years down the line i have nothing to do with him but if i do see him i feel he still has this control over me and i dont know if he will ever completely be out of my life even though he has no contact over me.
ReplyAnon - 14/12/2011
Thank you for commenting Anon. Help and support is out there. You could talk to someone you trust. That could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable with. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and that you feel comfortable with and trust. You can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem or go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact ChildLine by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards. Alternatively you can call Women’s Aid on 0808 2000 247, or email them on helpline@womensaid.org.uk
Girl
12/12/2011
Hello, i have been in an abusive relationship for over 3 years. by abusive, i mean that he scares me, he swears at me, he uses words i've never even thought about before. he makes me feel tiny. he hurts me physically, emotionally and psychologically. I'm hurt. what hurts the most is trying to confront him. because i am, and always will be wrong. no matter how good or kind i try to be, i always fail. I'm alone. but i know one day i will be stronger and be out of where i am now. don't ever let any one, not even the person u think u love the most, ever hurt you. you are too good to be hurt. as soon as something is wrong, the guy is too over you, jealous, over protective, disrespectful,nasty,rude and brutal, don't do this to your self. i learned how it feels to be appreciated, and the feeling is so nice and pure. without anyone being hurt.
ReplyGirl - 12/12/2011
Noone should suffer from emotional and physical abuse (which can include someone putting you down, or calling you nasty names, trying to control you and stopping you doing certain things or making you do things you don’t want to do). Try and find someone you trust to talk to. It could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable with. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and that you feel comfortable with and trust. If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does, you have the right to be safe and help and support is out there. You can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem or go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact ChildLine by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards. Alternatively you can call Women’s Aid on 0808 2000 247, or email them on helpline@womensaid.org.uk
Jess
12/12/2011
This is horrible...I would like to think that if I am ever in her situation I would know how to stop it.
ReplyJess - 12/12/2011
Megan
11/12/2011
This Is So Wrong I Feel So Sorry For Her
ReplyMegan - 11/12/2011
Morgan
10/12/2011
I dont think this goes on much where i live, it's pretty quiet and everyone here is reasonably polite. The only people who would be abusive are complete idiots. It's not a relationship, if you're not nice to one and another.
ReplyMorgan - 10/12/2011
chris
05/12/2011
this is too right, the amount of people i have known be hurt from these kinda things, i dont know anyone get hit before mind, but still being made upset by their partner bein made to feel down.. this is something that does need to be sorted out and it can come from both the guys and the girls it aint just guys this is something that people dont actually look at properly they just think oh hes bein a p*^%( dump him, they dont realise how complicated these things can get i think everyone should take the time to look at this issue cos if they did then people might think better about relationships, i know i do ive had to sit and try and deal with abuse coming my way before luckily i ended it before it got to me any more than it did, yh i think everyone should take the time to look at this definately.
Replychris - 05/12/2011
I totally agree with you here, I know that people always think that it is the guys being macho and abusive (physically) but it can also be the girls who either hit or make their partner feel worthless. its a double edged blade to be honest because the abuser gains nothing from doing it and will ruin the special connection that the two individuals share.
Jay - 06/12/2011