Bedroom
Is telling someone who they can and can’t see abuse?
Is controlling who a partner sees or speaks to abuse?
Is telling someone who they can and can’t see abuse?
Is controlling who a partner sees or speaks to abuse?
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Jessica
28/12/2012
Dear This Is Abuse
ReplyI know that you have a lot of text that have girl stories about them getting raped. But I am the lucky one, It feels so weriod to write about this.
I am a 14 year old girl, Starting year 9/10 is cool all the new peple that you will have in your classroom but you will also have new teachers. My school have became and academy and I had a new VMG teacher. He was nice. First he talked to me like to the rest of the group, but then he have started to make me funny names.Ad started to welcome me with ''Hello, beautiful'' or ''Hello, sexy'' I told him to stop because i don't want him to say that. That how things have got on for the next 3 weeks.
I started to be bad in school lost marks in the tests and all that, he walked in lessons just to look at me, Sometimes he even took me outside 'to talk to me'. Thee fisrt time he have touched me was when I was walking back from school. I have droped a detension letter. Next week, I had to stay beching because I had that stiouped detension . When i was walking towords my house I have seen his car, the car is big and with dark windows. He offered to take me home. I said no, and caried on walking. Then he have got out of the car and pushed me onto a brick wall that was when he started to tuch me up. It was winter and it was really cold no body walked around that time. Then he started to kiss me. i could not push him away from me. That was a horror. If I could not push him of me I decided to scream.
I was screaming so loud that some one came out of the near house. The teacher ran away. The only thing I said to the person that came out was thank you, while i was running. When I have got home I ran into my room and i did not say a word to anyone untill now.
thanks was reading.
Jessica - 28/12/2012
HI Jessica
Thanks for getting in touch, we are sorry that you have had a bad experience with omeone in authority.
Being forced or pressured to have sex or take part in sexual activity that you don’t feel comfortable with is unacceptable. Understand that this was not your fault. There was nothing you could have done to prevent this.
If you are being put under pressure to have sex when you don’t want to try and find someone you trust to talk to. It could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable with. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and that you feel comfortable with and trust.
If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. You have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.
You can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem or go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact ChildLine by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.
Alternatively you can call National Freephone Rape Crisis Helpline to talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999, 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm. Or you can visit www.rapecrisis.org.uk for further advice and information.
If you have been sexually assaulted you can also speak to the police. Most police forces have specially trained police officers who can help. You can contact the police immediately by dialling 999.
Yzzy
28/12/2012
This add is victim blaming. Whilst it good to encourage people to stand up for themselves, this version places blame on the victim for the abuse which is wrong.
ReplyYzzy - 28/12/2012
Dear Yzzy,
We don’t think either of these adverts blame the victim for the abuse which is taking place. There are two versions of this advert, one which targets victims of abuse and ends with ‘If you could see yourself, would you see abuse?’.
This aims to tackle perceptions of behaviour which some might experience and believe to be acceptable and normal, and demonstrate that this is abuse. The other version of this ad targets perpetrators of abuse and ends with ‘If you could see yourself, would you stop yourself?’, challenging these people to change their abusive behaviour.
Opeyemi
26/12/2012
There is a bad stigma on d victim, which hurts a lot..especially if it turn out to be someone close to the victim as in relatives or friends...
ReplyOpeyemi - 26/12/2012
Rukayya
24/12/2012
Abuse have ebcome rampage in our societies now. It might not be rape exactly but physical challenge over our own right and what we want in our own way.
ReplyRukayya - 24/12/2012
Nikki
24/12/2012
I remember being 14 and my elder sisters boyfriend came into my room at a party.
ReplyWhen I went in I asked what he was doing and he grabbed my hair and forced me onto my bed. He was trying to take my clothes off when thankfully my friend walked in.
The next day he told me not to tell my sister or he'd make my life hell. I haven't told her, I'm too scared
Nikki - 24/12/2012
Hi Nikki,
Thanks for your post. It’s extremely positive that you are confronting your past and by sharing you story you are taking an important step in helping you move on.
What your sister’s boyfriend did is unacceptable and we’re glad that your friend managed to step in in time. Please recognise that this wasn’t your fault and there was nothing you could have done to prevent this.
No matter how long ago it happened to you, please try and find someone you trust to talk to. You may not be ready to tell your sister, but try talking to a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable with. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and that you feel comfortable with and trust.
You can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem or go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact ChildLine by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.
Alternatively you can call National Freephone Rape Crisis Helpline to talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999, 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm. Or you can visit www.rapecrisis.org.uk for further advice and information.
If you have been sexually assaulted you can also speak to the police. Most police forces have specially trained police officers who can help. You can contact the police immediately by dialling 999.
Nonny
13/12/2012
I am 17 years old now, I have been raped about 3 times in the last 2 years. First by dad and the others from my brothers mate.
ReplyIts so unfair and im now scared of most guys. Even my mom doesnt even know about my dad raping me.
Nonny - 13/12/2012
Hey nonny am so sorry to hear your story.av witnessd one of this so I knw how u feel.am a boy but I detest rape a lot.I really wish I can do something to help with the trauma.your story touched me a lot.once again am sorry k.
joseph - 26/12/2012
Hi Nonny
Being forced or pressured to have sex when you don’t want to is rape and it is a crime. Understand that this was not your fault. There was nothing you could have done to prevent this.
If this has happened to you, try and find someone you trust to talk to. It could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable with. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and that you feel comfortable with and trust.
If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. You have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.
You can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem or go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact ChildLine by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.
Alternatively you can call National Freephone Rape Crisis Helpline to talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999, 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm. Or you can visit www.rapecrisis.org.uk for further advice and information.
You can also speak to the police. Most police forces have specially trained police officers to help people who have been raped or sexually assaulted. If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger, call the police on 999.
bitrus
12/12/2012
Rape is an evil thing is more of like takin advantage of someone and is very very bad
Replybitrus - 12/12/2012
Chilufya
09/12/2012
Rape is a very lockable offence women should be treated with Respects and rapeists should be locked up for their crimes that all I have to say Thanx
ReplyChilufya - 09/12/2012
Robyn
07/12/2012
I am currently 19 but my traumaizing event happened when I was 16. I was always quite nervous at school, so when a 19 year old asked me out, I really didnt know how to react.
ReplyI finally said,yes, with a lot of encouragment from my friends and for about 6 months I was happy with my decision. After about 6 months my opinion started to really change. He started getting really protective over me. He wouldnt let me speak to boy mates or go out without his permisson.
I felt like I was trapped. When we argued, Which was quite alot, he would MAKE me make it up to him. This would mean forcing me to do things sexually that I didnt want too do.
About 12 months later I broke it off. I would have been sooner but he threatened me. I would just like to say, If this has ever happened to you then just stay strong. There is a big amount of people that will help you get through it. Thank you for reading x
Robyn - 07/12/2012
HI Robyn
Being forced or pressured to have sex or take part in sexual activity that you don’t feel comfortable with is unacceptable. Understand that this was not your fault. There was nothing you could have done to prevent this.
If you are being put under pressure to have sex when you don’t want to try and find someone you trust to talk to. It could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable with. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and that you feel comfortable with and trust.
If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. You have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.
You can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem or go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact ChildLine by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.
Alternatively you can call National Freephone Rape Crisis Helpline to talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999, 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm. Or you can visit www.rapecrisis.org.uk for further advice and information.
If you have been sexually assaulted you can also speak to the police. Most police forces have specially trained police officers who can help. You can contact the police immediately by dialling 999.
C
07/12/2012
I was raped in my sleep. i was with this lad at the time. and he was always so sexually forward with me. i wasnt a virgin but sex meant alot to me. only do it with the one i love. but because i wasnt a virgin he though he could get away with trying it on., i kept saying no. one night he asked me to stay at his for a drink or two. i had one drink then went to bed, i woke up with my bra undone shirt up, trousers undone and pulled down along with my underwear. i
Replyfelt horrible and felt a sticky substance between my legs. i knew what he had done. but its been over a year now. i dont have the guts to report it or tell anybody because im scared theyll think im lying
C - 07/12/2012
Hello C,
Many thanks for your message.
We are sorry to hear about this traumatic incident from your past. We think it is important that even though this may have happened some time ago, that you should try to speak to someone about this if you can.
Being forced or pressured to have sex when you don’t want to is rape and it is a crime. Understand that this was not your fault. There was nothing you could have done to prevent this.
If this has happened to you no matter how long ago please try and find someone you trust to talk to. It could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable with. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and that you feel comfortable with and trust.
If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. You have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.
You can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem or go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact ChildLine by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.
Alternatively you can call National Freephone Rape Crisis Helpline to talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999, 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm. If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger, call the police on 999.
You can also speak to the police. Most police forces have specially trained police officers to help people who have been raped or sexually assaulted. If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger, call the police on 999
nicky
07/12/2012
rape is the worst thing dah can ever happen to any body
Replynicky - 07/12/2012
cynthia
05/12/2012
I went 2 visit. Friend of mine 4m church and unfortunatly 4 me he was alone in d house and he pleaded we av sex and being a virigin I refused den without ma knowlege he locked the door, tore ma clothes and raped me
Replycynthia - 05/12/2012
Hi Cynthia,
Thanks for being brave enough to speak out.
Being forced or pressured to have sex when you don’t want to is rape and it is a crime. Understand that this was not your fault. There was nothing you could have done to prevent this.
What's important is that you try and find someone you trust to talk to. It could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable with. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and that you feel comfortable with and trust.
If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. You have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.
You can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem or go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact ChildLine by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.
Alternatively you can call National Freephone Rape Crisis Helpline to talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999, 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm. Or you can visit www.rapecrisis.org.uk for further advice and information.
If you have been sexually assaulted, you can also speak to the police. Most police forces have specially trained police officers who can help. You can contact the police immediately by dialling 999.
Maglea
05/12/2012
Thank you so much all the people who made this fb ad successful. Sometimes people perish mainly because of lack of knowledge.
ReplyEveryone who wants to get informed more, watch 'i never said yes' or just google it.
Maglea - 05/12/2012
Lucy
04/12/2012
I agree that women can't rape but that doesn't mean they're completely innocent of sexual abuse. I was sexually abused my my mum's best friend from the age of 5 until i was 9. It was extremely traumatic and i tried telling my mum by writing her letters of how I'd sinned and felt so dirty but she didn't ever suspect a woman was hurting me. I didn't understand that it wasn't my fault. I kept it bottled up until i met my first partner (who i am now engaged to) and he was so sweet an understanding and horrified by what i told him and was so sensitive when we first tried anything intimate. It just shows that there are some really loving young men out there and some very wicked women. The adverts shouldn't just focus on the 'obvious' rape/ abuse situations.
ReplyLucy - 04/12/2012
emily
03/12/2012
I'm 15 years old and when I was 14 my 16 year old cousin raped me in my parents bedroom. I knew it was both wrong and disgusting but I had to do it, he made me. We did things before like experimenting, such as kissing and stuff but I didn't know it would ever go this far. He is a lot more stronger physically than me and threatened to do things to my younger brother if I refuse or tell anyone what's going on, please help!? He is coming to my house next week and I have no idea what to do, I am really scared :'( please reply ASAP! <3
Replyemily - 03/12/2012
Hi Emily
Being forced or pressured to have sex when you don’t want to is rape and it is a crime. Understand that this was not your fault. There was nothing you could have done to prevent this.
It's really important that you try and find someone you trust to talk to. It could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable with. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and that you trust.
If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. You have the right to be safe and help and supported. If you're in immediate danger at any point, you should contact the police on 999.
If you want any further support for what you've been through, you can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem or go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact ChildLine by email and text, or chat to a counsellor online.
Alternatively you can call National Freephone Rape Crisis Helpline to talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999, 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm. Or you can visit www.rapecrisis.org.uk for further advice and information.