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Abi
30/04/2012
I was 15 at the time, i was at my best friends party and she invited her boyfriend. We were all having a drink and doing drunk dares and all that. me and my friends (girls) didnt drink because we were to young. There were 5 bedrooms in the house, 4 were full... of drunk boys and screaming, distraught girls. i was sat on the stairs, plugging my ears when i see my best friend being dragged into her room by her very, very drunk boyfriend, she slapped him and he flung her onto the bed an slammed the door, i banged on the door as hard as i could untill i got light headed and i passed out, i woke up sharply, on the sofa...with a boy undoing my pants, he kissed and said "hey baby, wanna get tough" i screamed and punched him, he undid my pants quicker and we had sex there and then, i was crying and called the police. me and my best friend never spoke of what happened untill right now. We heard that a few of the boys got into trouble, but her now ex boyfriend slid through, and moved away from the uk. We didn't want anybody to know, because we were so violated.
ReplyAbi - 30/04/2012
Shawna
27/04/2012
I have been Married 4 12 years, if my husband wants sex he expects me to have it weather I want it or not if I say no he will keep me up all night arguing and wont leave me alone, I feel I do not have any say so about my body anymore
ReplyShawna - 27/04/2012
A couple of years ago, after a party, I offered a married man that he could sleep in my room, because he said otherwise he would drive home, and I knew that he had been drinking a lot. I tried to stop him from drink driving. When we were in my room, he started coming on to me. I turned him down very resolutely and said "I'm going to sleep now". I was absolutely knackered and fell asleep fully dressed.
Later, I woke up because in my sleep I was fighting, and I found myself struggling in real life too. He had undressed himself and rolled my trousers down to my knees (my upper body was still dressed), and was trying to have sex with me. He said "oh come on, I've already been inside you."
In such a short time span, he ruined my life.
Yet he didn't even seem to understand what he'd done wrong. When he realized how upset I was, he wanted to TALK about it.
I reported it to the police. His wife supported him all throughout the process, and she tried to contact me in a rather aggressive way several times.
I think that the only way a man can become that evil, is when his wife condones it that he takes advantage of her body when she is unconscious, when someone gives him the message that he doesn't need consent for sex on a regular basis.
Anonymous - 28/04/2012
CJ
26/04/2012
My and friend and his girlfriend were in a relationship for a while, they had a active sexual life and had done everything but sex, one day the sex finally happened and the girl didn't say no or anything but the boy decided that they two of them weren't ready for it and pulled out quickly. A few days later the girl said she was forced into it (although she was not) and was claiming it was rape, what situation does this leave my friend in and can the girl make accusations like this?
ReplyCJ - 26/04/2012
Hi CJ
Thanks for you post.
It's very hard to comment on what is happening to your friend as I don't have any detail on what happened in this instance.
Most people who have been raped or sexually assaulted tell the truth. In fact most people do not tell anyone that they have been raped because they feel too ashamed and scared.
Estimates suggest around 8-10% of all rape complaints are false, but there is no evidence to suggest there are more false rape allegations than false allegations of other offences.
Jo
26/04/2012
Im 15 and at that age where everyones put under pressure for 'not doing it' etc but reading some of these stories anger me in a way, if a guy does it to you even if you say no its rape? i hope this has opened the eyes of other people like me who need to take action in their answer, not all guys are like this but the ones that are need to be actually taught
ReplyJo - 26/04/2012
laura
25/04/2012
i have just found out my daughter is pregnant, she is only 14 , she was at a party and the boy she had just started going out with was drunk, he by the way is 15 years old, later in the evening my daughter went to the caravan to use the toilet when she came out he was inside standing in front of the door,she said he started to kiss her and pushed her onto the sofa saying come we can do it, she tried to push him off but he held her down and had sex, she said she was telling him no i dont want to but he carried on, she managed to push him off and ran back to her friends, she said itall happened in about 5 minutes, she didnt tell anyone because she said she was scared, she was a virgin and now she is 6weeks pregnant, she has kept this ordeal to herself untill now, i dont think she understands that it wasnt her fault, our family is in pieses at the moment, he has taken her innocece away, i dont know if this is rape.
Replylaura - 25/04/2012
Hi Laura
Thank you for your post, and I'm so sorry to read about what happended to your daughter.
If your daughter did not consent and was pressured or forced to having sex or taking part in sexual activity, then it is rape and it is a crime.
Also the law also says that to consent to sex a person must be over 16 and have the ability to make informed decisions for themselves.
It is important that your daugheter doesn't blame herself. It might be helpful to talk to ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem www.childline.org.uk.
You can contact ChildLine by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.
Alternatively you can call National Freephone Rape Helpline to talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999 7 days a week between 12pm β 2.30pm and 7pm β 9.30pm.
Anon
24/04/2012
When I was 16 I went out for my friends birthday and got pretty drunk. We went back to another friends house for a party after and me and my friend ended up falling asleep after every1 had left. When I was sleeping, I was woken by this guy who was 21, whose house it was. he brought me to a bedroom and forced me up against the door, he shoved his penis inside my mouth so far I couldn't breath. I was drunk but I no I didn't want this to happen so I said no. He then went on on push me onto the bed and took off my dress and I cried no again but it didn't stop him. He forced himself into my anus and put his hand over my mouth to stop me crying. When he was finished he left me lying there. At first I didn't think it was rape because I was drunk and didn't fight back. That was my first sexual experience and I didn't no what was happening. I blame myself as I was drunk and asleep in his house, I must have been asking for it. It is just so hard now to try and move on without constantly thinking of him on top of me, every time I close my eyes I see it again. I've got hope and strength from the stories below that I can go on and eventually be happy, thanks to all that have shared your stories
ReplyAnon - 24/04/2012
Kayleigh
22/04/2012
When I was 16 my boyfriend used to control my every move and had to know everything I was doing. I wasnt allowed to talk to my friends; he made me believe that they were just using me for when they had a problem. We were together for nearly 2 years. I can say that they were the worst 2 years of my life. He used to hit me but he would always say he was sorry and say that heâll never do it again and because I loved him, I believed him.
ReplyIf he didnt like what I was wearing he would make sure I knew about it. I wasnt allowed to wear any make-up and I couldnât talk to any guys or sit near any guys in college. He accused me of cheating several times a day while I was in college. I wasnt allowed to use the internet as he believe that I was on facebook talking to other guys and I could use my msn or Skype as he thought I was on cam to other people, he used to think that I was getting naked for guys online. I was so degrading that anyone could think this about the person they are meant to love.
We went on 2 holidays abroad together, 1 with his family and 1 with mine. He hit me infront of his mum and she turned round and said âI deserved it.â I couldnt believe it.
He would do anything so that we had sex. He would try all sorts of things to get me to agree, He used to blackmail me into sex by telling me âthat if I loved him I would do it and enjoy it.â If i refused he would pin me down to the bed and have sex with me or he would wait till I was asleep and have sex with me then. I used to wake up with him on top of me and because he was stronger than I wasnât able to get him off me.
Iâm now 19 and we broke up last August cause I finally realised what had been happening ad that it wasnt a healthy relationship. I am now in another relationship and my new boyfriend knows everything that I went through and he says that he will never do anything like that to me and I believe him. Although Iâm still getting over everything that has happen I have support and comfort from him and he understands that a just being there for me means everything.
For everyone that believes that they canât get out of an abusive relationship, you can and you will feel loads better once you do. All it takes is a little encouragement :)
Kayleigh - 22/04/2012
Lauren
22/04/2012
I was at school at the end of the day and i was in the room by my self with my boyfriend and he we kissed and snogged, he touched my vagina and fingered me. Then he pinned me to the table and hurt me. I asked him to stop and he didn't he then forced in sex and i haven't told anyone until now.
ReplyLauren - 22/04/2012
how did you feel about this? it seems you didnt like the way he treated you considering you havent told anyone and the fact he hurt you, let him know! or gain support from people you trust
Jo - 26/04/2012
Anonymous
21/04/2012
a year ago my boyfriend and i were kissing and he started to touch me in a way i was uncomfortable with, i mean like he kept shoving his hand up my skirt, i tried to pull away but couldnt. Weve broken up now and i wouldnt want to do anything now, but I just want to know if this counts as sexual assault...
ReplyAnonymous - 21/04/2012
Yes, it does.
Catalina - 24/04/2012
David
21/04/2012
I have a friend who's name I will not mention, his girlfriend liked a facebook status I put for looks and he gave her lots of grief, swore at her and fell out...she makes his eyes go wang and all over the place he loves her so much but the other day after the argument he went round with his tired eyes on his ped to her house, it was 3am and she asked him to stay round but NO. He wouldn't have it he went home and slept, can we all be aware of tired eye syndrome girls can cause guys, and even if they get mad at status likes etc, some do have really lovely sensitive hearts, PEACE OUT xx
ReplyDavid - 21/04/2012
Theresa
21/04/2012
I have seen sorts of sexual abuse at my school. I do report it and the teachers take care of it. The students think sexual abuse is okay becaue "they live it the south side." I want to help stop this crime in anyway possible, with not just that kind of sexual abuse but I see it on facebook too.
ReplyTheresa - 21/04/2012
Kahris
19/04/2012
Last Year it happened since October when I was new to my Junior High School. I remember one boy I am not sure what year is in but he is in my school. I was at the bus stop talking to my year 8 friend then the boy came over to me and said "You are a minge(is that how you spell it?) He said he was going to have sex with sometime. I was 13 a month before my birthday at the time and I am 14 now. He hasn't said anything ever since.
ReplyKahris - 19/04/2012
Ali
19/04/2012
Hi, I have allegations, as do many other people, against a young man who used to attend my school. Many people have told me that this young man went camping with 2 friends (who were going out at the time), and they had all been drinking. He on one occasion told me that he put his hand down her pants, and started trying to penetrate her with his fingers, in the knowledge that she would assume it was her boyfriend. Is it worth informing anyone of this so justice may be served?
ReplyAli - 19/04/2012
Hi Ali
Thanks for you post.
Being forced or pressured to have sex when someone doesnβt want to is rape and it is a crime and you are right to be concerened if you know this is happeneing to someone you know.
The first thing to do is to speak to your friend/the person this is happening to and help them understand that there is help if you want it .You should encourage your friend to call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about the problem or go to www.childline.org.uk where you they can contact ChildLine by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.
Alternatively you can call the National Domestic Violence Helpline on 0808 2000 247 (run in partnership between Womenβs Aid and Refuge)
They will be able to get advice on what to do and what course of action to take.
bo
17/04/2012
rape is not a gd thing people who do it have no lifes its like havent u got anthing better to do and the answere is no u ant cuz more and more girls are getting raped everyday and to tell u the truth i am sick of it people who rape should be sent to a special jail so there they cant rape any more girls
Replybo - 17/04/2012
Jermaine
15/04/2012
I believe this website is very effective at providing advise to girls about rape, but what about men? Many men are pressured into sex and other sexual activities by their partners and are unable to do anything about it because they are being controlled by their girlfriends and would feel embarrassed if they were to tell anyone as it would seem as they are too weak, because they are being controlled by females. many females stop their boyfriends from communicating with other girls via text messages, social networks or in person, if it was the other way round it would be looked down upon and would be classed as abuse. I feel that all these videos and other government programmes , involuntarily paid for by the public, only help the young females in society and not the young males, who are often susceptible to this sort of abuse. In this day and age, men are encouraged to act respectively towards women and when they don't it is automatically deemed as a crime, but when women act controllably towards men society treats it as if it does not matter. I feel that this is not fair and the law should cover females abusing men and not only males abusing females.
ReplyJermaine - 15/04/2012