Party
Is pressuring a partner to have sex abuse?
Is putting pressure on someone to have sex abuse?
Is pressuring a partner to have sex abuse?
Is putting pressure on someone to have sex abuse?
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Ruby
28/02/2013
Any woman , or man , in an abusive relationship should get away as soon as the slightest hint of abuse is shown by their partner
ReplyRuby - 28/02/2013
Wendy
06/02/2013
Trying 2 control your partner is definately abuse. Love is not forced but should come naturally.
ReplyWendy - 06/02/2013
nadia
05/02/2013
about 1 year ago i have experienced same situation .
Replymy boyfriend pushed me to have sex with him.I didnt want to but he bought me nice presents and giving me lots of attention if i had sex with him. I dont know if i was wrong or he was wrong for doing this . a few month later he cheated on me and told everyone that i am not girl to be in relation with , calling me a prostitute, now we are back but i always think about it , i am hurt and worried about my future .
nadia - 05/02/2013
Hi nadia,
Thanks very much for your message.
Please understand that being forced or pressured to have sex or take part in sexual activity that you don’t feel comfortable with is totally unacceptable. It's not your fault, there was nothing you could have done to prevent this.
Staying in a relationship where you are being emotionally abused could also cause you to lose your self-esteem and confidence. An abusive, violent or controlling relationship is not normal or acceptable; nobody needs to tolerate this behaviour and if your boyfriend's bullying is making you worried or you're being put under pressure to have sex when you don't want to, you really need to speak to a trusted adult. It could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable with. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and that you feel comfortable with and trust. And if they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. You have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.
You can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem or go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact ChildLine by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.
needshelp
05/02/2013
once i met this boy- he was really nice to me at first but then he started being horrid and forcing me to do things i really didnt want to- he made me have sex with him but i didnt complain or anything- so now im blaming myself,
ReplyIM SOOOOOOOOOO CONFUSED!!! plz help xx
needshelp - 05/02/2013
Hi needshelp,
Thanks for your message.
Please don't blame yourself; being forced or pressured to have sex when you don’t want to is rape and it is a crime. Understand that this was not your fault, there was nothing you could have done to prevent this.
We think you need to try and find someone you trust to talk to. It could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable with. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and that you feel comfortable with and trust.
If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. You have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.
You can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem or go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact ChildLine by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.
just me
02/02/2013
i don't know whether what happened to me is rape, or abuse?
ReplyLast year around april-may i went to this party which my best friend made me go to because it was her boyfriends 18th birthday. I didn't pariculary like him but she made me go. the party was at a abonded house near my town. there waas no furniture in the house apart from a chair inside the front room. my best friend went somewhere and left me with her boyfriend and he got me quite drunk, kept on giving me the shots and so forth. i didn't really know what i was doing but usually i can look after myself. i was only 14 years old, im wiser now though but still now i am only 15. anyway he took me to the front room and got really nasty to me. i didn't know what to do, coz i hadn't been in that situation before. no one came for me, no one heard me scream over and over, he locked the door and all the windows had black paint on them. he put the lamp stand on and grabbed me and threw me on the chair. thats when he started to undo my buttons on the shirt i was wearing. he got my hands and made me take his trousers off. thats when it happened.i don't know whether its rape because i kept on saying no but he didn't care. so, i just gave in and let him. next i know im all alone in the abonded house. i knew i couldn't go home so i went and found her. i didn't tell her who the guy was but she helped me for a while. i can't remember how long it was when i started to feel weird. i had a new boyfriend from 3 weeks after the incident about weeks after he cheated on me with her. She knew something was up-shes 18. well anyways i found out that i was pregnant and she found out who it was so. basically,no one wanted to know and they all thought i was stupid. my boyfriend's dad knew a private doctor's place where they prescribed me the pill that killed my baby. my parents still don't know what i went through. im so scared of everything now. david the guy who got me pregnant at that wful party sees me everyday when i come out od school and he used lift my skitrt up making me feel uncomfurtable. my best friend could see that but she didn't care either. he still waits outsie of school...
it was quite a few months later when i actually wanted to kill my self. i felt so bad and just me wanted to die. so, i started to cut myself. i have tried everything and now i hardly ever eat. my mum found out about the cutting but she still doesn't know why. i can't tell her. our family has gone through to much.
i don't want anyone to reply or help me because there is nothing i can do but i just wanted to share the start of my story. it has made me feel a little better to tell someone now. thank you
just me - 02/02/2013
Hi just me,
It's good you have found someone you trust to talk to, if you feel comfortable with this friend that's great, if you feel the need to talk to a professional in confidence for advice and guidance at any time as per our previous message, that's fine as well.
hi again, i have found a friend and she's seems to care and i feel like i can speak to her. do you think i should carry on speaking to her or someone professional, like a counciler??
just me - 09/02/2013
Hi Just Me,
We know you didn't want a reply but what you've been through is very traumatic - being forced or pressured to have sex when you don’t want to is rape and it is a crime. It's not your fault, there was nothing you could have done to prevent this.
We think it's very important you find someone you trust to talk to. It could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable with. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and that you feel comfortable with and trust.
If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. You have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.
You can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem or go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact ChildLine by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.
And if you're self-harming you can also go to http://www.selfharm.org.uk/default.aspa where you can get professional advice. The Samaritans may also be able to help, take a look at their website at http://www.samaritans.org.uk/ or email jo@samaritans.co.uk. You can also call the Samaritans helpline on 08457 909090.
molly
22/01/2013
about 2 years ago i had a best mate me and him were really close once i slept over his his mum and dad was out we were sat on the floor and he stated putting his hands down my pants i thought he was messing around so i told him to stop but he kept on pushing me to the ground taking my clothes off i was so scared after raping me my mum used to bring him around mine and when there were no people around he did it again he still dose i dont know what to do?
Replymolly - 22/01/2013
Hi, Molly u shouldnt b scared 2 tell someone dat ur friend is raping u. wat right does he have 2 do that 2 u and if u think about it hes not ur mate anyore is? tell someone Molly or one day u'll regret it sex does cause pregnancy do u want that right now? dont u want 2 live ur life first?..
Rain - 06/02/2013
You should tell parents, a counsellor, loved ones e.g: Grandparents, uncles and aunties; or the police. 2 years of sexual abuse is one of the worst things anyone can inflict on another human being, and is completely inexcusable. It's a good idea to have police on speed dial, so if it looks like this is going to happen again you should contact the police immediately. Well done for having the courage to post this! I hope this "mate" is sorted out and you are able to move on with your life. He's a piece of trash and doesn't deserve to be a huge barrier in your life! The police, like the TIA team says, can sort rapists out immediately and also give you the help and support you need. Try to cheer up, because you've still got your whole life ahead of you : )
Josh - 05/02/2013
Hi Molly,
Thanks so much for your post.
We are really very sorry to hear about these traumatic incidents from your past and that they're still happening. We think it is extremely important you should speak to someone about this if you can.
Being forced or pressured to have sex when you don’t want to is rape and it is a crime and it should be reported. Please understand that this was not your fault. There was nothing you could have done to prevent this.
Please try and find someone you trust to talk to. It could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable with. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and that you feel comfortable with and trust.
If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. You have the right to be safe and help and support is out there; this behaviour is unacceptable, it's not normal and it's against the law.
You can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem or go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact ChildLine by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.
Alternatively you can call National Freephone Rape Crisis Helpline to talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999, 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm.
You can also speak to the police. Most police forces have specially trained police officers to help people who have been raped or sexually assaulted. And if you ever feel that you are in immediate danger, call the police on 999.
13/01/2013
Reply
13/01/2013
Hello and many thanks for your feedback.
We are sorry that you feel like this about the campaign. We are aware that anyone can be a victim of abuse whether they are female, male, gay or straight. This site has lots of information and advice in the ‘your questions’ and ‘need help’ sections for males who have been victims of abuse and those in same sex relationships and therefore think very hard before making the videos.
We work with partners such as the Dudley Safe and Sound partnership who have produced videos about male victims of abuse and those in gay relationships, which you can view by clicking on this link. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qt-U2ue-QmU
We have also produced a video in partnership with Broken rainbow which is intended to provide advice and signpost help for LGBT victims of domestic violence.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3U0ZJFdxCtg&list=UU697e0rGEZK8tO-qmFN6kag&index=2&feature=plcp
anon
11/01/2013
I really don't know how to say this and I've never told anyone but even since the age of 9 my cousin ( second cousin) he's been trying to have sex with me. He kept touching me everywhere even though I kept saying no. But he carried on.
ReplyAlso I was at a party and I got a drunk and I went upstairs to go to sleep but then someone came and forced himself on top of me. I felt weak and confused and I couldn't even scream. I tried my best to get him off me but he too strong and he raped me.
anon - 11/01/2013
dont worry babe, i should tell someone, even if your too scared or shy, he cant do what he did to you, i hope your alright, but if he is your cousin i should tell someone xox
chloe - 12/01/2013
Hi Anon
Thanks for getting in touch, we are sorry to hear about your experiences.
Being forced or pressured to have sex when you don’t want to is rape and it is a crime.
Understand that this was not your fault. There was nothing you could have done to prevent this.
If this has happened to you, try and find someone you trust to talk to. It could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable with. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and that you feel comfortable with and trust.
If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. You have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.
You can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem or go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact ChildLine by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.
Alternatively you can call National Freephone Rape Crisis Helpline to talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999, 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm. Or you can visit www.rapecrisis.org.uk for further advice and information.
You can also speak to the police. Most police forces have specially trained police officers to help people who have been raped or sexually assaulted. If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger, call the police on 999.
tall
11/01/2013
my boyfriend wants me to do it so badly and i can see hes desperate enough to go of with another gal
Replyi relly love him i dnt want him to leave me
what shud i do ? shud i let him do iut even if i dnt want him to ?
plese help
tall - 11/01/2013
I'm sorry u feel u have 2 compromise yourself 2 please him. U r prepare 2 sacrifice 4 love but he is not. If he leaves,beter sooner than l8er. He should respect ur decision and love u enough 2 wait. If not, he probably will still leave even after u have given in 2 his desires. U will hurt when he leaves because u didn't give in but u will feel betrayed, foolish and hurt if he still leaves after u have pleased him. Stay strong and do what u r prepared 2 live with,no regrets.
Wendy - 06/02/2013
Hi tall.
If this man would go of with another girl just so he could have sex with her, then he isn't worth being with you. Sex is your choice, and yours alone. If you want to have sex with him then its your choice, but if he tries to force or pressure you into it, then it's rape. Wait till your ready, and if you love him, and he loves you, then he will respect your decision and will WAIT. Otherwise, he isn't worth it. Do what you want, and only what you want!
Well done for seeking help, and I hope your relationship remains happy and unpressured :)
Josh - 05/02/2013
Hy, I'm Richard.
I saw your compliment & think that if you don't want 2 have sex with him, then just say that ither your not ready, you don't want 2 or that you think that it's wrong...
What I'm trying 2 get at is, it's your choice, if you don't want 2 have sex with your bf, then you don't have2.
& if he trys 2 rape you tell ither your parents, teacher, friends, relitives, and also u can call the police.
"Do what you think is right." ;)
Richard - 13/01/2013
Hi tall,
Thank you for posting.
It is a common myth that “everyone is doing it”, but the average age for having sex for the first time is 16. Many people wait until they’re older.
Even if you’ve had sex before it doesn’t mean you have to rush into doing it with your current boyfriend.
Sexual relationships come with risks such as unplanned pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases and you always have the right to withhold concent. If he cares for you he will understand why you want to wait.
If you are under 16 it’s against the law for you to have sex. If your boyfriend is older than 16 he could be charged with rape if you enter into a sexual relationship with him.
If you’ve been forced by your boyfriend to have sex against your will (or suffered any form of sexual abuse) then this is rape (it doesn’t matter that you are going out with each other) and you need to inform a trusted adult.
If you want to speak to somebody in confidence contact Rape Crisis on 0808 802 9999.
anon
10/01/2013
My boyfriend knew that i really, really didn't want to have sex, but he told me that he needed me to because every time i said no, he felt 'unwanted', and said there was nothing else i could do to make him feel wanted.
ReplyI refused, until i next saw him and we were doing stuff, and i gave in. He just paused for a minute when i told him in really hurt, and just said "It's okay", kissed me and carried on when i cried. I pretended to enjoy it, and felt quite awful afterwards.
Every other time i've seen him, he's asked, and every time i refuse he gets annoyed or sad, asking me if i remember the reason i did it in the first place. It makes me feel really horrible, so i end up just giving in again, pretending to like it again. i think that it's all my fault, but i've got a very low opinion of myself.
I don't know what i can do, because he cries and gets upset very easily. i already know it's bad, i'm 15, he's 16...
anon - 10/01/2013
Listen babe i had the exactly the same experience as you , only a year ago when i was 15. See with me every time i said no he would make me feel bad about refusing and i used just give in and then ill feel even more terrible. Babe what you gotta know is that its not your fault and this "boyfriend shouldn't be pressuring you and making you feel bad because you don't want to have sex with him.If he really loved you he would respect that and move on but to me he seams like he needs help and babe don't ever blame yourself. next time don't give into some one by a click of a finger xoxox
Tamara - 22/02/2013
Hi Anon,
Thank you for posting.
Being forced or pressured to have sex or take part in sexual activity that you don’t feel comfortable with is unacceptable.
Sex with any girl/boy under 16, including oral, is unlawful. It doesn't make any difference if permission (consent) is given or not, if you're under 16 sex is illegal.
Understand that this was not your fault. There was nothing you could have done to prevent this.
If you are being put under pressure to have sex when you don’t want to try and find someone you trust to talk to.
It could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable with. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and that you feel comfortable with and trust.
If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. You have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.
You can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem or go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact ChildLine by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.
Alternatively you can call National Freephone Rape Crisis Helpline to talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999, 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm. Or you can visit www.rapecrisis.org.uk for further advice and information.
If you have been sexually assaulted you can also speak to the police. Most police forces have specially trained police officers who can help. You can contact the police immediately by dialling 999.
Pleasehelpme
08/01/2013
Is silence consent? Was it Rape?
ReplyAn abusive boyfriend knew I didnât want to have sex, I told him I didnât really feel ready. I had told him.
He spread round school that we had, and everyone called me names. He would get angry for the slightest thing and often was very sadistic and emotionally and physically hurtful, so I was scared of him, but I loved him too.
He got very very angry if he didnât have his own way so one night when he got into bed secretly (he had been horrible to me previously and I was sleeping in his dadâs living room) I just didnât say anything, and let him do it, even though he stopped when I began to cry because it hurt a lot.
He did it again over the next few months and it got increasingly worse. I loved him, but he was incredibly horrible to me, and left me feeling pathetic and worthless for nearly two years.
I was kicked, punched, strangled etc when I made him angry. He touched me, and I thought it would make him nicer to me but I told him it hurt because I wasnât aroused very often- I think now it was because I was so scared.
My head would just go black when it happened- I felt horrible. He told me I looked disgusting, and I made him feel sick. When he said that it was llike my insides were rotting.
I didnât say anything, not âyesâ not ânoâ. I just went along with it. I felt like heâd destroyed my image with my friends and set me up by pressuring me until I wouldnât protest.
I DO NOT want to sue, press charges etc.
Iâm 16 now, and was 14 at the time. Weâre at 6th form, and heâs spread to everyone Iâm a **** and we slept together. He has a new girlfriend.
Is silence consent? Does the fact I was scared of him count, or scared of what heâd do if I didnât do what he wanted? I just didnât want a fight. I didnât think heâd hit me after but the words he would say were worse-what heâd tell other people. He did strangle me but I would have preferred that.
He made me feel so worthless I didnât think anyone would care at the time. Iâve been to a doctor about the abuse, but Iâve never mentioned this. I really, really didnât want to think about it ever again- Because it made me feel so awful and guilty. So Iâve never spoken about it to anyone.
Have I been assaulted? When I did agree- It eventually became a way of making him just be nice to me, especially if I was stuck at his house. He would also sometimes force me to touch him. Iâd love some advice, to know if Iâve been raped. Thank you.
Pleasehelpme - 08/01/2013
Hi pleasehelpme, thanks for sharing your story.
We are sorry to hear about this traumatic incident from your past. You were in a very destructive relationship where you were emotionally, physically and sexually abused. It's understandable that you have questions about what happened to you and you’ve made a positive step in confronting what happened.
Rape is when a man forces his penis into the mouth, anus or vagina of another person when that person doesn't want him to do so; the law calls this 'without consent'.
It does not matter if you are in a relationship with someone or if they are a stranger. When someone makes you do something you do not want to do, it means you are not consenting and it is rape. Just because you didn’t say “no” it does not mean that you consented.
It also does not matter if you start out by saying yes and then change your mind, or if you feel like you have 'given in'. It is also never OK to make someone feel bad if they don't want to have sex as this is a form of emotional abuse.
Understand that this was not your fault. There was nothing you could have done to prevent this.
We think it is important that even though this may have happened some time ago, that you should try to speak to someone about this if you can.
It could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable with. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and that you feel comfortable with and trust.
If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. You have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.
You can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem or go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact ChildLine by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.
Alternatively you can call National Freephone Rape Crisis Helpline to talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999, 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm. If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger, call the police on 999.
You can also speak to the police. Most police forces have specially trained police officers to help people who have been raped or sexually assaulted. If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger, call the police on 999.
Take care.
Anonymous
08/01/2013
Is this always a man, who can rape?
ReplyI am a man in 32nd years of age and have been raped many times surprisingly by a lady in the age of 16.
I remember that night when I was sleeping at my family friends home as me and one of their kids were class mates and we used to study together and sometimes if i get late, i used to stay there over night.
The lady came to me, clutched my hand and asked do you need something, obviously I said NO. She went and I again slept and after some time she came again and asked the same question with my hand in her hand. I pulled my hand out of her hand and she fell on me deliberately. Started kissing, hugging and seducing me. I was breathless.
Next day I went home and asked my family that now I will study at home alone. This worked for a few days then both families started pressurizing me for combine study.
I was in the worst condition. I was unable to tell someone about that and there was no way to escape and she used to visit my bed every night. After few days, I also started enjoying it. I lost my concentration towards studies and every time started thinking of sex. Ultimately at the teenage when i have sex daily and two to three times a night, I became physically weak and made a loss in my studies.
One day I told my friend about his sister and everything went wrong. I lost my friend. Our families started avoiding each other. Me and my friend too much disturbed with this condition got very bad grades and I have not seen my friend for the last 16 years and the lady got married and is living happily with her husband and two kids
Anonymous - 08/01/2013
Hi Anonymous,
Thanks for posting on the site and we’re sorry to hear about thus traumatic experience from your past.
The law says that rape can only be committed by a man as for the offence to be committed there must be intentional penetration of the mouth, vagina or anus of another person with a penis. A woman can be convicted of sexual assault, which includes other sexual acts (e.g. intentional penetration of the vagina or anus of another person with a part of her body or an object). Both are crimes and can result in imprisonment. You can read more about rape and sexual assault here: http://thisisabuse.direct.gov.uk/worried-about-abuse/view/rape-sexual-assult
This campaign is aimed at 13-18 year olds but there are many specialist support services available for adults.
If you are still experiencing domestic abuse, please contact the Men's Advice Line on 0808 801 0327 or log-on to their website at: http://www.mensadviceline.org.uk/mens_advice.php .
Olivia
07/01/2013
I am not sure if this is abuse, but theres this sixth former that i met a while ago and he seemed lovely at first, but then he started asking if i was a virgin and lots of other things, but they were all about sex.
ReplyI pretened i was alright, he asked me to strip on skype, so i did, then he asks me to send him pictures every now and then, I don't really feel comfortable with this but I think I'm in love with him!
It sounds crazy but I think I am, I need help!
Olivia - 07/01/2013
Hi Olivia, thanks for your post.
Being forced or pressured to have sex or take part in sexual activity, including sending pictures of yourself, that you don’t feel comfortable with is unacceptable. Understand that this was not your fault. There was nothing you could have done to prevent this.
If this boy cares about you he won’t put you under pressure to do things you aren’t comfortable with. We think it would help if you find someone you trust to talk to. It could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable with. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and that you feel comfortable with and trust.
If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. You have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.
You can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem or go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact ChildLine by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.
lia
03/01/2013
I do not think it is because all you have to do is say no i have been through that but i said yes but in my mind i have doubt but you can not change the past.
Replylia - 03/01/2013
Hi Lia
Being forced or pressured to have sex or take part in sexual activity that you don’t feel comfortable with is unacceptable. Understand that this was not your fault. There was nothing you could have done to prevent this.
If you are being put under pressure to have sex when you don’t want to try and find someone you trust to talk to. It could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable with. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and that you feel comfortable with and trust.
If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. You have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.
You can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem or go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact ChildLine by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.
Alternatively you can call National Freephone Rape Crisis Helpline to talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999, 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm. Or you can visit www.rapecrisis.org.uk for further advice and information.
If you have been sexually assaulted you can also speak to the police. Most police forces have specially trained police officers who can help. You can contact the police immediately by dialling 999.
Mayella
03/01/2013
In the past I was sexually abused looking after my best friend when she was drinking.
ReplyShe was going back to the boys house that we'd met, I didn't want to but I was worried about her welfare.
She says I have nothing to complain about, if he didn't use his penis it's not rape, which I know is true. He said that all lesbians need fixing.
I was 16 then, I'm 17 now and he's going out with a friend and has been since before the incident.
I didn't tell her and now if I do she'll think I was lying. What makes things worse is that my drunk friend wouldn't leave until 8 in the morning, and he forced me to share his single bed until then. He said I could have avoided it if I'd sucked him off.
Mayella - 03/01/2013
Hi Mayella, thanks for sharing your story.
We are sorry to hear about this traumatic incident from your past. You were being very considerate when looking out for your friend when she drunk and it is completely unacceptable what happened when you went to the boys house.
Being forced or pressured to take part in sexual activity that you don’t feel comfortable with is unacceptable and a crime. Understand that this was not your fault. There was nothing you could have done to prevent this.
We think it is important that even though this may have happened some time ago, that you should try to speak to someone about this if you can. It could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable with. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and that you feel comfortable with and trust.
If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. You have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.
You can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem or go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact ChildLine by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.
Alternatively you can call National Freephone Rape Crisis Helpline to talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999, 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm. If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger, call the police on 999.
You can also speak to the police. Most police forces have specially trained police officers to help people who have been raped or sexually assaulted. If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger, call the police on 999.
Take care.