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Is pressuring a partner to have sex abuse?
Is putting pressure on someone to have sex abuse?
Speak Out against abuse
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Dev Lou
02/05/2012
Why do the Males always have to abuse Females honestly I could just flip
ReplyDev Lou - 02/05/2012
well no its not always men.
katie - 03/05/2012
Rasool
21/04/2012
I’m very happy and thankful after reading reply comments from your team it’s appreciated able. Especially now a days we need more help zone all over the county to safe before it harm someone. My charity can sport you particularly in college and universities level. My personal experiences have the ratio which we can see on media or on website is only 20% to 25%. This is a shame most of us just regret what we did or someone did with us that not enough.
ReplyRasool - 21/04/2012
C
16/04/2012
If an incident happened a few years back, can action still be taken? I was raped at 15 and am now 19, I feel horribly bitter about what happened that night. I presume it is normal to feel as though I could have done more to stop it?
ReplyC - 16/04/2012
Hi C
Thank you for you post and I'm sorry to hear about what happened in the past.
Historic allegation of rape can be reported if this is something you wish to do. There will not be any forensic recovery however the police can still investigate the offence.
However before you do so, it might be helpful to talk to an expert who can tell you more about the process and what to expect. You can find details of suitable organisations on the Need Help page.
If you do decide to report it, most police forces have specially trained police officers who can help.
Joseph
16/04/2012
hi, i just want to say how horrible i think it is that people would do this just to get sex off someone, i cant see how beating someone for sex would be worthwhile. I also feel it's important after reading these posts to say how sorry i am for people this has happened to, both men and women.
ReplyJoseph - 16/04/2012
John Black
16/04/2012
Having briefly read through all of the posts as as sad as it is to see the damage some males do.
ReplyI have a question in regards to 'rape' what if a man is raped by a women - is this actually even legal what should a man do if he is raped or sexually abused by a women - what does the law state as well?
John Black - 16/04/2012
Hi John Black
Thank you for your post and your questions. I think many people wonder about this as well.
By definition, Section 1 of the Sexual Offences Act 2003 (i.e. rape) can only be committed by a man as for the offence to be committed there must be intentional penetration of the vagina, anus or mouth of another person with a penis.
A women can be convicted of a Section 2 offence (sexual assault), where there is intentionally penetration of the vagina or anus of another person (victim) with a part of his or her body or anything and object.
A person guilty of an offence under both section 1 and 2 is liable, on conviction on indictment, to imprisonment.
anon
15/04/2012
last night my boyfriend "fingered" me during my sleep i know this as I woke up with his fingers inside of me. It shook me up and now I don't know what to do as he says "i thought you were awake?" when i was definately asleep. I'm 19 years old and he is 20, i suffered child sexual abuse and 2 very violent rapes, what does this count as and should i still be in a relationship with him? :(
Replyanon - 15/04/2012
DON'T stay with him he obviously new you were asleep beause there is a big diffrence between being awake and asleep. Break up with him the sooner the better because that guy is a jerk. please respond to my comment and tell me if i helped thanks
Josh - 25/04/2012
Hi Anon
Thank you for posting on the forum and I'm sorry to hear about what happened.
Being forced or pressured to have sex or take part in sexual activity that you don’t feel comfortable with is unacceptable. Understand that this was not your fault and there was nothing you could have done to prevent this.
Many abusive behaviours in relationships are against the law. If they force you to carry out sexual acts or force you into sex, this is sexual abuse or rape. Being threatened or harassed by a partner is just as much a crime as violence from a stranger. If this is happening to you do not confront your partner on your own. Please speak to a trusted adult or the police.
This Is Abuse team - 16/04/2012
charlatte
12/04/2012
one of my mates ws grouped by a teacher ather school what should she do
Replycharlatte - 12/04/2012
Hi Charlatte
Thank you for posting your comment.
Being forced or pressured to have sex when someone doesn’t want to is rape and it is a crime.
Speak to your friend and help her understand that this was not her fault and there was nothing she could have done to prevent this.
You should encourage your friend to call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about the problem or go to www.childline.org.uk where you they can contact ChildLine by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.
Alternatively you can call the National Domestic Violence Helpline on 0808 2000 247 (run in partnership between Women’s Aid and Refuge) 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm.
E
12/04/2012
I remember being with someone and they asked for my virginity as their birthday present I refused but they got forceful and verbal telling me I was pathetic - is this abuse?
ReplyE - 12/04/2012
C
12/04/2012
I broke up with my bf of 2 years about 2 months ago. At first it was really good and we were laughing and just hanging out but then about a year and half into the relationship he just wanted to stay in his room and not go out. and would always try it on and if i pushed him off he would get upset and go in a mood with me, and was like please give me a BJ, and i would say no and he would say please i won't cum in your mouth etc. and in the end if he tried it i would just do it to save the arguements or the 'you don't like me anymore' blah blah. but i never wanted to do it with him since this happened but just did it. what do you think? he has said to me after i broke up with him he realised his mistakes and saw the rape advert and said hes sorry for making me feel uncomfortable in his room (i always wanted to go downstairs etc cos i knew where it would lead) and he felt really bad?? I know he means it but i just hated being like that
ReplyC - 12/04/2012
Jay
10/04/2012
I was out one night visiting a friend at Uni, i was very drunk, went back to his place and fell asleep in his bed. I woke up with him on top of me and i was completely naked (i dont remember taking my clothes off), i didnt want it, didnt say yes to him, but because i was in a drunk state was it my fault? Is it rape or sexual assault? can someone help me :(
ReplyJay - 10/04/2012
Jay
This was not your fault. If you didn’t consent, then you were the victim of a crime. Whether it was rape or sexual assault depends on what happened. You can read more about rape and sexual assault here: http://thisisabuse.direct.gov.uk/worried-about-abuse/view/rape-sexual-assult
You may benefit from talking to someone about this. You can call the National Freephone Rape Helpline to talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm.
You can also speak to the police. Most police forces have specially trained police officers to help people who have been raped or sexually assaulted. You can contact the police immediately by dialling 999.
Becca
09/04/2012
My friend got raped and she told me not to tell anyone. I tried to go to the police but she wouldnt let me. What do i do? I know its none of my buisness but i want to help her and i dont want her to suffer alone.
ReplyBecca - 09/04/2012
Hi Becca
Thank you for your post about trying to help your friend.
Being forced or pressured to have sex when someone doesn’t want to is rape and it is a crime. Speak to your friend and help her understand that this was not her fault and there was nothing she could have done to prevent this.
You should encourage your friend to call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about the problem or go to www.childline.org.uk where you they can contact ChildLine by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.
Alternatively you can call the National Domestic Violence Helpline on 0808 2000 247 (run in partnership between Women’s Aid and Refuge) 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm.
H
09/04/2012
Now a days people need to understand that in life there is always a limit to things. If you ever consider going beyond that limit then my friend their's something with you. People expect that in life they can get what they want and at the end of it. But the end result leads to people being hurt and problems occur. I am telling you the truth and a warning which people must remember before they cause any trouble for themselves. Be careful about what you intend to do before, during and after. You yourself could cause something grief for yourself, your family and friends and other people who know you very well because in reality you only get one shot to make things right. This means your life is over and these things you could call as demons will haunt you forever, as there is no way of turning back and making up for your mistakes. So I will leave the unmistakable question which you yourself should think about. How would you feel if the same thing happened to you, your mom or dad, brother or sister and any other person you care about?
ReplyH - 09/04/2012
shauna
08/04/2012
im a 20 year old woman and was in a minipulative relationship. if i refused sex with my boyfriend at the time he would say i was unattractive and why would he want me, let me fall asleep then continually wake me up to wear me out until i gave in. this doesnt have to happen walk away,. they dont love you you deserve better as a woman!
Replyshauna - 08/04/2012
Richard Heck
08/04/2012
As the parent of a teenage daughter, I just want to thank you for this campaign. It's very powerful.
ReplyRichard Heck - 08/04/2012
anon
07/04/2012
One night I went out with a group of friends, it was in the first month of uni so we were still all getting to know each other. I drank way too much and started feeling ill so my friends decided to take me home.. But then a guy from my hall who i had spoken to a few times said he'd take me back and they could stay .So he took me back in a taxi back to halls.. I don't really remember much. I was sick. We got back to halls then its all fuzzy and i cant really remember what happened.. I cant remember how it started but next thing i can remember is him having sex with me. I dont know how long it was for but after a bit i remember i pushed him off and told him to leave and he did..
ReplyObviously what he did wasnt honourable and gentlemanly but my friend said it was rape.. what do you think?
anon - 07/04/2012
Hi
The law says that:
In the offences of rape, assault by penetration, sexual assault and causing a person to engage in sexual activity without consent, a person (A) is guilty of an offence if (s)he:
• Acts intentionally;
• (B) does not consent to the act; and
• (A) does not reasonably believe that B consents.
Consent is defined as:
An agreement by choice and (B) (i.e. the victim) has the freedom and capacity to make that choice.
Person A has the responsibility to ensure that (B) consents to the sexual activity at the time in question. So if a person did not have the capacity to give their consent, and this was recognised by the other person, then this is rape.
You can read more about the law and consent here: http://thisisabuse.direct.gov.uk/worried-about-abuse/view/rape-sexual-assult/consent
Hope this helps.