School
Is trying to control someone by checking their phone abuse?
Is bullying, controlling and putting a partner down abuse?
Is trying to control someone by checking their phone abuse?
Is bullying, controlling and putting a partner down abuse?
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michelle
12/04/2012
what do i do my boyfriend is abusing me and if i say no he does it more help me im scared and i am only sixteen and he doing it unprotected
Replymichelle - 12/04/2012
dumb him, your boyfriend shouldn't treat you like that and when you do, tell him don't ever treat you like dirt again or anyone. stick up for yourself!
Sandra - 19/04/2012
Hi Michelle
Thank you for posting and I'm sorry to hear you are having a tough time in your relationship.
If you are in an abusive relationship, it is important that you find someone you can talk to.
It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and that you feel comfortable with and trust.
You can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem or you can call the National Domestic Violence Helpline on 0808 2000 247 (run in partnership between Women’s Aid and Refuge) 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm.
Abusive relationships can start with verbal or emotional abuse and could happen to anyone. It can often escalate into physical abuse, by which time your self-esteem is likely to be damaged.
Many abusive behaviours in relationships are against the law. For example, if your partner hits you, it’s assault. If they force you to carry out sexual acts or force you into sex, this is sexual abuse or rape. Being threatened or harassed by a partner is just as much a crime as violence from a stranger. If this is happening to you do not confront your partner on your own. Please speak to a trusted adult or the police.
Tom
11/04/2012
I understand what these videos are trying to suggest to the public and explain where girls, (only as it seems) may be suffering from abuse, however I fail to understand why it's only girls that are being shown as the victims, I've got lots of friends (males) who's girlfriends get angry and cause social problems i.e. stopping them from going out/seeing friends if they so much as make eye contact with another girl. These adverts are a little bit annoying and one sided in my opinion. But let me make it clear again that I understand the ideas that these videos are trying to get across.
ReplyTom - 11/04/2012
Completely agree! Not wanting to lesser the seriousness of abuse towards women (myself being someone who's been through my fair share) but I feel that it is just as important (if not more important - due to gender stereotyping) to show how males can be victimised by violent, agressive or verbally intimidating women. What this awareness campaign is doing is fantastic but it needs to see the WHOLE picture, hopefully we'll see something soon!!
Ella - 26/04/2012
lillie
11/04/2012
i think this should stop completely its terrible the way they treat people !
Replylillie - 11/04/2012
lillie
11/04/2012
hello i think things like this dont just hurt the victim but hurt there parents to if i could i would stop abuse sexual abuse most i know how it feels when someone trys sexual abuse to you. If i was someone who does sexual abuse i would THINK about my actions STOP why would i want to do this anyway SAY SORRY if you do it say sorry !!!
Replylillie - 11/04/2012
chloe
10/04/2012
is it abuse if someone keeps asking you to send reveling pics? even if its your boyfriend?
Replychloe - 10/04/2012
Hi Chloe,
If you don't want to send those pics of yourself, and he makes you, then this is abuse!
You need to be honest with a trustworthy figure, particuarly an adult, friends and teenagers are often very malicous with rumors.
Tell them, and they will sort the situation with you, and help you to stand up to him, It is abuse and you musn't let him thiink he can get away with it,
Hope this helps! :*
Bekka - 18/12/2012
Hi Chloe
You shouldn't be pressured into sending your boyfriend any photos you're not comfortable with. If your boyfriend cares for you he will respect your decision.
Katie
09/04/2012
This Happened to me before, a boyfreind, he kept checking everything I was doing, whenever I even spoke to a boy he litertatlly went bonkers. But then he had his group of freinds who went late night partying and I saw him flirting with loads of girls at school. He kept on pressuring me into doing it with me and one night we were watching a film and he kept on touching me and didnt like it, he then forced himself onto me. Ive never really told anyone why I really broke up with him, i feel to ashamed.
ReplyKatie - 09/04/2012
Hi Katie, that's a horrible thing to have gone through. I hope you have someone trusted you can talk to about this. If he forced himself on you, this website says that is rape, and that is illegal. Have you thought about taking legal action? At least he could get cautioned by the police or something - maybe if you have a trusted person or call one of the numbers like Childline or something, you could talk to them about how to go to the police?
Jo - 07/05/2012
You shouldn't feel ashamed at all. Its not your fault that he decided to be such an abusive person. I reckon it's a good thing that you spoke out to on this website. If you really want to tell people why you broke up with him, tell them exactly what happened. There is no shame in telling them. Hopefully, they'll understand. I'm sure that everybody on this website can understand.
Matt - 25/04/2012
AMY
08/04/2012
am i the only one who thinks its just a bit sexist that in all these videos its the boy who is being the abusive one? just because its predjudice in the other way then the one we all expect doesn't mean its not still sexist.
ReplyAMY - 08/04/2012
any minute men are going to be the ones needing menanism to get the same treatment as women, (fathers for justice)
rachel - 30/04/2012
Lisa
07/04/2012
well my friends pressure me to do stuff i dont want to do and if i say no they give me a kick in and i think that they tell folk that i am a whimp so i am an easy target for bullys
ReplyLisa - 07/04/2012
Hi Lisa,
what your friends are doing to you is wrong.
Friends should be there for you not hurt you!
I know what it's like to feel alone for years i struggled to find friends that were nice to me but i found them!
And remember to hang on, one day you will meet a group of people who make you feel special.
Stay strong your day will come!
Matilda - 20/12/2012
Sam
07/04/2012
The videos posted really are quite frightening. I think its important to mention that abuse could happen to either sex, male or female, Its really quite terrifying to see how many people have been abused out there. I mean I've not really been abused but my last girlfriend kept on trying to get me to have sex with her and kept on asking me and than when we broke up she told everyone she knew that i had used her and tried to have sex with her. I know that other people have had much more extreme things happen to them though obviously. I was just wondering what do the 'this is abuse' company do to help people who are the victims of these sort of things and how do other people get involved and help?
ReplySam - 07/04/2012
jc
03/04/2012
very sexist but a girl should be looked after i dont agree on that controlling it stands up to a point girls can take the piss
Replyjc - 03/04/2012
Emma
03/04/2012
when i was 14 i was out with a friend and admittedly we had a little to drink we met a couple of boys and the took us back to a block one of them pushed my friend and she hit her head on the floor and just laid their the other one started pulling off my clothes and i just sat their i surpose just leting it happen both boys then took turns with what they was doing to me both telling eachother dont kiss her the hold time i was just thinking i just want to get out of here when they stopped i grabbed my clothes put them on ran down the stairs and pulled my friend with me the boys followed us then met there friends they all started laughing at us and started pushing my friend all over the place then tried to do it to her one boy i begged him to stop his friends so he told them to stop me and my friend then ran to her friends house where i called my dad to pick me up i told my family but never told the police because i feel i put myself in the situation but iv never been able to forget it and my family dont want to talk about it im now nearly 21 and this il never forget
ReplyEmma - 03/04/2012
Harley
03/04/2012
I was with a boyfriend for a while who pressured me continuously for sex - I was terrified and tried to get out of it every way possible including asking my friend who was downstairs to pretend my parents were coming and get her to distract him - she was a bit scared of him too. Eventually I ended up waking up one new years drugged off my face and in the morning with blood running down my legs and with a huge headache. I later had flashbacks to what happened - he had told me I had been up for it, but those memories paint a horribly different story.
ReplyHarley - 03/04/2012
Hello Harley
Did you tell anyone what happpened?
you shouldn't be treated like that and he shouldn't have lied to you.
charlette - 22/12/2012
ainttellin
03/04/2012
my boyfriend raped me a couple of years ago and he told me that if i told any one he would beat me up so i dident tell and he did it again after the third time i went to the police he got arrested and i dont think he will be out in a hurry .my opinion of all types of abuse is that it is wrong and should be stopped at all costs.
Replyainttellin - 03/04/2012
tom
03/04/2012
i had a girlfriend who constely checked my phone, call logs ect. she wouldnt let me see any of my friends, girls i thought she was just jelous or protective but she was the same with lads, making escuses why i shouldnt be friends with them like he says thing behind my back. even though she never let me look at her phone see what shes doing on facebook alike, she hung round with girls and boys and exspected me to stay with her at all times with her, every day all day
Replytom - 03/04/2012
Hi Tom
Thank you for contacting us about this, abuse can happen in all relationships and boys are victims too.
If you’re male and suffering from abuse in your relationship try and find someone you trust to talk to. It can be hard to feel you can open up about the abuse, but please try to speak to someone that you trust and feel comfortable with .
If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does, you have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.
Male victims of abuse of all ages can get help and support from the Men’s Advice Line on 0808 801 0327 or visit www.mensadviceline.org.uk email: info@mensadviceline.org.uk
A video which may help you is this one produced by Dudley Safe and Sound partnership, which shows a male victim of relationship abuse http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qt-U2ue-QmU
charlotte lucas
02/04/2012
these little clips really do make you think, its wrong.. no human being should be treated like crap, forced to do things, or raped. i would hate if any of these would of happened to me, its sick. it hurts to know people out there have been in them positions. i dont understand though why its mainy women getting abused or raped they should get males to have a roll not just the women. my sister got raped by a friend of hers who she knew when she was 9, the family thought he was okay but turned out he wasnt, she use to text her boyfriend and he use to beat her up and leave bruises, but one night i stayed round and was with my other sister and he went in my sisters room and locked the door, we couldnt get in and we heard her screaming... he is now in jail but hurts to think he will be out soon and the memories are still in mind :(
Replycharlotte lucas - 02/04/2012