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This is ABUSE

Help uscall outabuse

School

Is trying to control someone by checking their phone abuse?

  • Sex with someone who doesn't want to is rape
  • Abuse in relationships isn’t always physical
  • Would you recognise abuse if you saw it?
  • Emotional Abuse
  • Controlling Behaviour
  • SPOT THE SIGNS OF ABUSE IN A FRIEND’S RELATIONSHIP
  • Mandem On The Wall
  • Twist and Pulse
  • Charlie McDonnell
  • Bedroom
  • Liam & Beth - Recognise abuse when you see it
  • Ryan & Jade - Recognise abuse when you see it
  • Sam & Alice
  • If you could see yourself
  • Zoe's story
  • Party
  • Takeaway

Is bullying, controlling and putting a partner down abuse?

what do you think? share your opinions

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Experts from Young People’s Services of Respect and AVA are reading and responding to posts on the site, to ensure that responses are independent, sensitive and helpful.

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Results: 30 - 45 of 79

  • Maddie

    27/12/2012

    If you are getting abused or you know a friend who is. Even if it is the slightist thing (a sexual comment or rumer) tell someone emeaduetly, or it could get worse. BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY

    Reply

    Maddie - 27/12/2012

  • Jamie

    26/12/2012

    Hi, I was raped by six girls, I was 12 and I walked into my school gym, and there were some girls.

    I had just finished tennis so I was getting changed then all of a sudden they came barging in grabbing me and kneeing me in the balls and face, when I was on the floor crying one of the girls picked me up and said "are you a virgin" I replied "yes" then she said well when were finished with yoo, you won't be.

    so they got some blue tye rope and tied me to the coat hanger/hook things,then they grabbed my balls and where sucking them and it was kinda helping then they turned me around and said "time to have sex little girl"

    then they got a strap on kinda thing and where raping me it was killing and really painful. then they tried to give me an erection and stuck me up there⦠you know where and later on I cummed...........now she has a baby but I don't know if its mine,I'm 15 now and I don't know if it was rape

    Reply

    Jamie - 26/12/2012

    • omg i dunno what to say this is really pulled on my heart strigs it must have been so hard for u and i really do feel for u and i hope your okay now and it is rape and it agaist the law to have sex under the age of 16 x

      danielle - 30/12/2012

    • Hi Jamie,

      Thanks for sharing your story and we are sorry to hear about this traumatic incident from your past. We understand it must’ve been really difficult to share this and you’ve taken an important step in writing on this site. We think it is important that even though this may have happened some time ago, you must realise that there was nothing you could have done to prevent this. What's important now is that you arm yourself fully with the facts.

      The law says that rape can only be committed by a man as for the offence to be committed there must be intentional penetration of the mouth, vagina or anus of another person with a penis. A woman can be convicted of sexual assault, which includes other sexual acts (e.g. intentional penetration of the vagina or anus of another person with a part of her body or an object). Both are crimes and can result in imprisonment.

      It doesn’t matter that this happened 3 years ago, please try and find someone you trust to talk to
      It could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable with. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can confide in. If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. You have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.

      You can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem or go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact ChildLine by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.

      You can also speak to the police. Most police forces have specially trained police officers to help people who have been sexually assaulted.

      You can read more about rape and sexual assault here: http://thisisabuse.direct.gov.uk/worried-about-abuse/view/rape-sexual-assult

      Tempero Moderation 28/12/2012

  • Anonymous

    23/12/2012

    i no this isnt abuse but my best freind hates lsbains and bi people and she said se would kill us if we were bi or lesbian and i am to scared now to tell anyone i am bi what should i do ?

    Reply

    Anonymous - 23/12/2012

    • Hi Anonymous, thanks for your post.

      It’s important that you speak to someone to get advice.

      Broken Rainbow runs a helpline staffed by highly trained operators, they understand the issues you’re facing and go through extensive training to provide you with the best possible support.

      You can contact Broken Rainbow on the national helpline number: 0300 999 5428 or visit their website at www.brokenrainbow.org.uk

      Hope this helps.

      Tempero Moderation 08/01/2013

  • anonymous

    22/12/2012

    I'm 13 my boyfriends 14 he keeps touching me even though I told him not but I love once he's started . Wot do I do

    Reply

    anonymous - 22/12/2012

    • Hi Anonymous

      Wea re sorry you are having problem with your boyfriend.

      Being forced or pressured to have sex or take part in sexual activity that you don’t feel comfortable with is unacceptable. Understand that this was not your fault. There was nothing you could have done to prevent this.

      If you are being put under pressure to have sex when you don’t want to try and find someone you trust to talk to. It could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable with. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and that you feel comfortable with and trust.

      If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. You have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.

      You can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem or go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact ChildLine by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.

      Alternatively you can call National Freephone Rape Crisis Helpline to talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999, 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm. Or you can visit www.rapecrisis.org.uk for further advice and information.

      Tempero Moderation 22/12/2012

  • Mckenzie

    13/12/2012

    my boyfriend keeps making me touch him to make him happy... i dont like doing it but i cant tell him i dont want to do it because he would touch me.
    he looks up all my mates on facebook so he knows who i will be with... i hate it!
    i want to break up with him but im too scared too... what if it gets worse?!

    Reply

    Mckenzie - 13/12/2012

    • if you are not happy doing what he wants talk to him and if he doesn't listen or does something your not happy about split up with him or tell someone you trust

      charlette - 22/12/2012

    • Hi Mckenzie,

      Thank you for posting.

      Being forced or pressured to have sex or take part in sexual activity that you don’t feel comfortable with is unacceptable. Understand that this was not your fault. There was nothing you could have done to prevent this.

      If you are being put under pressure to have sex when you don’t want to try and find someone you trust to talk to.

      It could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable with. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and that you feel comfortable with and trust.

      If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. You have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.

      You can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem or go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact ChildLine by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.

      Alternatively you can call National Freephone Rape Crisis Helpline to talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999, 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm. Or you can visit www.rapecrisis.org.uk for further advice and information.

      If you have been sexually assaulted you can also speak to the police. Most police forces have specially trained police officers who can help. You can contact the police immediately by dialling 999.

      Tempero Moderation 13/12/2012

  • anon

    09/12/2012

    My boyfriends making me do things with him and i dony want to, hes pressering me and i dont like letting people down

    I'm 14 and im not ready for sex he needs to leave me alond, but how do i tell him no?

    He made me send pictures to him so he could wank over them i did it but now i regret it

    Reply

    anon - 09/12/2012

    • Hi Anon

      Being forced or pressured to have sex or take part in sexual activity that you don’t feel comfortable with is unacceptable. Understand that this was not your fault. There was nothing you could have done to prevent this.

      If you are being put under pressure to have sex when you don’t want to try and find someone you trust to talk to. It could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable with. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and that you feel comfortable with and trust.

      If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. You have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.

      You can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem or go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact ChildLine by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.

      Alternatively you can call National Freephone Rape Crisis Helpline to talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999, 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm. Or you can visit www.rapecrisis.org.uk for further advice and information.

      If you have been sexually assaulted you can also speak to the police. Most police forces have specially trained police officers who can help. You can contact the police immediately by dialling 999.

      Tempero Moderation 09/12/2012

  • BillyDonie95

    26/04/2012

    Thanks for all the info.

    Reply

    BillyDonie95 - 26/04/2012

  • anon

    21/04/2012

    my boyfriend (broken up now) made me do things i didn't want to do. he then told people at school who were my friends and we got in an argument because they said i was disgusting, even though i didn't want to do it. i am now bullied. people throw things at me, shout things at me, write disgusting songs about me and send me horrible messages. karma :(

    Reply

    anon - 21/04/2012

    • I think all you need to do is stay strong, remember you're not disgusting, what your ex did was very wrong and that must of hurt you a lot going threw that. But speak to someone who can help you with these bully's a teacher/colleague a family member.

      Stay strong soon you will find someone who wont ever do that to you. In the mean time try to be strong and all your anger you get turn it into a poem or music or hobbies. Things like that are really good for taking your mind off things.

      I hope this has helped you if not, sorry that's the only advise i can think of. x

      Abi - 02/12/2012

  • Ethena

    17/04/2012

    Very good to see this initiative. It does need to be more promoted through public media like bill board/ poster in bus etc

    One more thing I can not help to share is, using partner's picture/videos for bad purpose may also considered and included here as 'abuse'

    Reply

    Ethena - 17/04/2012

  • Sammie

    13/04/2012

    what i dont understand is why people have to be abuseive to their partners its degusting i just dont see the point :( a relationship is supossed to be something special between two people sharing their love for eachother :) not someone controling the other person ordering them around telling them to do and giving them what they want !!!!! if i was in a relationship like that and the other person was being like that yh i love them but i would say to myself is this what i want why would i have to put up with this!! if my partner doesnt like it then i would tell him where to put it becuz no one deserves it i dont !!!!!!! for people in this situation you should dump that zero and get yourself a hero!! i know it would be hard becuz you love them but just think is that what you want :)

    Reply

    Sammie - 13/04/2012

  • cameron

    12/04/2012

    these boys need to grow up. respecting people and learning is what is the difference beetween a boy and a man. But i agree with tom below me there

    Reply

    cameron - 12/04/2012

  • michelle

    12/04/2012

    what do i do my boyfriend is abusing me and if i say no he does it more help me im scared and i am only sixteen and he doing it unprotected

    Reply

    michelle - 12/04/2012

    • dumb him, your boyfriend shouldn't treat you like that and when you do, tell him don't ever treat you like dirt again or anyone. stick up for yourself!

      Sandra - 19/04/2012

    • Hi Michelle

      Thank you for posting and I'm sorry to hear you are having a tough time in your relationship.

      If you are in an abusive relationship, it is important that you find someone you can talk to.

      It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and that you feel comfortable with and trust.

      You can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem or you can call the National Domestic Violence Helpline on 0808 2000 247 (run in partnership between Women’s Aid and Refuge) 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm.

      Abusive relationships can start with verbal or emotional abuse and could happen to anyone. It can often escalate into physical abuse, by which time your self-esteem is likely to be damaged.

      Many abusive behaviours in relationships are against the law. For example, if your partner hits you, it’s assault. If they force you to carry out sexual acts or force you into sex, this is sexual abuse or rape. Being threatened or harassed by a partner is just as much a crime as violence from a stranger. If this is happening to you do not confront your partner on your own. Please speak to a trusted adult or the police.

      This Is Abuse team 13/04/2012

  • Tom

    11/04/2012

    I understand what these videos are trying to suggest to the public and explain where girls, (only as it seems) may be suffering from abuse, however I fail to understand why it's only girls that are being shown as the victims, I've got lots of friends (males) who's girlfriends get angry and cause social problems i.e. stopping them from going out/seeing friends if they so much as make eye contact with another girl. These adverts are a little bit annoying and one sided in my opinion. But let me make it clear again that I understand the ideas that these videos are trying to get across.

    Reply

    Tom - 11/04/2012

    • Completely agree! Not wanting to lesser the seriousness of abuse towards women (myself being someone who's been through my fair share) but I feel that it is just as important (if not more important - due to gender stereotyping) to show how males can be victimised by violent, agressive or verbally intimidating women. What this awareness campaign is doing is fantastic but it needs to see the WHOLE picture, hopefully we'll see something soon!!

      Ella - 26/04/2012

  • lillie

    11/04/2012

    i think this should stop completely its terrible the way they treat people !

    Reply

    lillie - 11/04/2012

  • lillie

    11/04/2012

    hello i think things like this dont just hurt the victim but hurt there parents to if i could i would stop abuse sexual abuse most i know how it feels when someone trys sexual abuse to you. If i was someone who does sexual abuse i would THINK about my actions STOP why would i want to do this anyway SAY SORRY if you do it say sorry !!!

    Reply

    lillie - 11/04/2012

Pages << < 1 2 3 4 5 6 > >>

Results: 30 - 45 of 79

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