This is ABUSE

couldn't be more afraid

12/04/2012

i look at the other messages and think i was lucky, i don't actually know if it is classed as rape but i needed to share it with someone.. i was at my boyfriends house and we had had oral sex but he would always check if i was ok whilst doing it, but then recently he stopped asking and used to tell me i was changing if i wouldn't let him finger me, he went to try and finger me and i screamed, but there was no one in his house so he carried on. i felt like a wimp as he was younger than me, but i didn't know what to do after that so i told no one.. i still haven't to this day..

Reply

couldn't be more afraid - 12/04/2012

it dose'nt matter if he was younger, younger stronger is a sayin I made up, it means that it doesn't matter how young you are you can still be capable of what a 21 yr olc can do, so stay strong, and if you have to tell someone don't be afraid, as long it is somebody you trust, as long as you're ok now, then don't be afraid, but just incase try your very best to be careful, bcuz boys are capable of many things, stay strong

helper girl - 15/04/2012
this sort of stuff has never happened to me but i think you are so brave to share it, its such a terrible thing. it must be so hard for you to carry this all this time. a dear friend of my'n went through a similar situation and she didnt tell anyone till one day she couldnt cope anymore. friends are always willing to help you out. you shouldnt have to carry this around with you. he shouldnt make you live on fear no one should, you have rights and telling someone does'nt make you gross or weak, you were never weak, saying no made you stronger than ever
someone who really does care x

someone who care's - 14/04/2012

Sam (15)

12/04/2012

last month i met somoene off the internet, not my best ever idea and i got raped, also my wrist badly strained from me trying to stop him. i am only 15 nearly 16, and this has really effected me, but luckily for me i have friends and family around me to help, the first time i saw this advert it brought it all back to me and this keeps happening also the guy who raped me keeps contacting me so its really had for me to get over this, but im sure i will in time. im too scared to go to the police so luckily i have my friends around me to help and support me. i think this will hopefully show everyone that sex with someone who dosnt want it is not right and both people should want it, i`d hate for this to happen to anyone i know, because i know the pain it causes

Reply

Sam (15) - 12/04/2012

its really tough to move on especially since he wont leave you alone, but not tellin the police only leaves him out on the streets ready to rape another girl. im 12 years old and had some horrible experiences that i would rather not talk about. the worst thing is knowing that he is still out there. the police can stop him and put him safely behind bars. my heart goes out to you and i hope you can move on xx

niamh - 15/04/2012
hey sam, yes meetin ppl of the internet is not ofcourse the brightest ideaa in the world, it's not evan a good one, cuz once they kno who u are,where u live, wwhere you hang out, they start to threatern you (I've seen it in a movie about sexting) so b careful and just get a new sim or somin like that good luck from helper girl

helper girl - 15/04/2012
Hey Sam, I have genuine sympathy for you. I can't put myself directly in to your position, but I can imagine how distressing that must have been. I agree that you should tell authorities, it can be tough but you most likely always come out of it brighter than darker. Don't bottle stuff up inside you, trust me. Just a small point to the comment above me by Maiz, I am not wishing to argue, but please note that instead of writing "He will rape again", you probably should have written "he will probably rape again", as writing "will" is a bit harsh as this guy may have moved away and realized what he has done. He may not have, but you cannot possibly look inside his head to point out. I will say it again, I do not want to argue, just merely point out the fact. Thank you

Fingers - 14/04/2012
im not not going to say its okay cuz i don't know what its like to be raped. But what i will say is that some times your family is the best thing to have bye your side in time of need. Also don't try to hard to get over it this must be hard a thing to go thought! And in time the slightly scared feeling you must get when you think of that * will fade and bad memories will still be there but just think you must have the good ones to cover it up. I'm 15 two and problems like this are common so good luck with the rest of your life. And i just hope you tell the police cuz other girls like you could be in for the same fate as you from that guy (boy)

alex - 12/04/2012
Hi Sam, it's truely harendous to hear that you have been raped but i think that you should go to the police, the problem is, is that the guy that raped you is still out there and he will rape again. i know it's scary and it will be hard at first but it's for the best. The police can track the guys address because he's contacted you online. My cousin was raped and the worst part for her is that the man is still out there. You need to be brave and thank god you have loving family and friends to helpget you through this. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Maiz - 12/04/2012

John

12/04/2012

Well the way I see it is that women love sex just as much or more then guys do but the fact.is that we guys need to make the first move because the girls wont.and if we wont then they will find someone else who would so because we are the male and they are the female we have to make the start and if we get any sign that she dont want to then leave her. I think they should hive life prison sentence to rape.

Reply

John - 12/04/2012

Read the comment. He says if the girl says no then to stop! You're calling him ignorant and rude, at least have the common courtesy to read the whole post before posting a completely irrelevant idiotic, narrow minded rant!

ANON - 20/04/2012
I do agree boys should make the first move but they shouldn't do that to innocent girls!

Anonymous - 20/04/2012
Guys, he's saying that it's difficult to know whether or not to make a move, but if there is protest then the guy should stop. Stop hating...

Dan - 14/04/2012
I think your comment is disgust, offensive and you should keep yourself to yourself if this is the way you look upon rape, its people like you that make women and girls realise that men are only after one thing and we should never be forced into it.

Milly - 13/04/2012
For this website I don't think who moves first isn't the problem, it is whether they want to go through with it that is.

Anonymous - 12/04/2012
How can you say that? Yeah, sure we want guys to make the first move, but when we say we don't want to, that means we don't want to!

ANNONYMOUS - 12/04/2012
That is a riduculous thing to say if a woman doesnt want sex she doesnt have it, it is not down to us men to force them.

Anonymous - 12/04/2012

Old girl

12/04/2012

My father touched my legs and forced a kiss with his tongue when I was just 12, I never could have a relationship with someone because of this, itÂ´s so hurting to remember his disgusting hands on my body and the taste of his rotten mouth . I had to go to the judge but the police said he was my father and supposed to just talk with him. My mom and the rest of the family said me to shut it up, they tried to make my friends see me like a crazy person and liar, IÂ´m on my limit of all this abuse, I just want go away of all this, I fell like a old girl

Reply

Old girl - 12/04/2012

I went thru similar stuff more than 10 yrs ago, still cant get over that. i believe it caused my sexual psychological problems. Please try to get help if not police then any other organization dealing with family and sexual abuse.

YM - 13/04/2012
I understand this my grandfather touches my in horrible ways, i am 14 and i am frightened, i understand, keep strong, you will get justice

WeeviBear - 12/04/2012

unavalible

11/04/2012

when i was about 3 i stayed at my auntie ( who was about 18 at the time )house and she had a partner called tom and i was there asleep on the floor with my teddy and the next minute im there awake hearing my anutie saying stop you will wake her up and him saying no just do it then she was crying and him moaning with enjoyment the next minute i remember was me standing up and seeing him on top on my auntie and i asked wht he was doing and he said it is a game u go to sleep but i knew it wasnt i slapped him on his leg and the next minute i had a broken leg and black eye and my anutie had one to. i dont no if what he did to my auntie was rape but im 12 now and my anutie is living happily living with her fiance but it is always scared her about having kids or my family having kids and when i am older i feel like it is gonna happen to me because i have been in a relesioship with someone that thinks we should of had sex and i am so scared if he turns on me :'(

Reply

unavalible - 11/04/2012

i dumped him at school today he said it was just the kissing part and we need alot of practice i said it doesnt feel right anyway to be with u lets just move on hee said no si just walked away and thank you for the surrport me and my aunt r greatful :)

unavaible - 16/04/2012
What happend to your aunt is rape and its sad you had to witness that and suffer abuse for doing the right thing... Although you botg went through this violent experience you shouldn't let it stop you from trusting your partner but don't allow yourself to be forced into anything, if no doesn't a slap or a knee to the groin will ... Its not something you'll ever get over but like your aunt you'll see life isn't just full of darkness .... P.s 12 is wsy tooo young to having sex, if you boyfriends 12 aswell tell hiim to keep it inn his pants till pubity passed him by :/

I Know - 15/04/2012

Some Guy

11/04/2012

Hello
I know from reading a few pages of comments that this is not the first comment with regards to what i wish to say. I am only commenting to re-iterate what other have said. I know that there are many many evil men out there who wouldn't think twice about raping and abusing a woman because of her physical inability to prevent it. I also know that these men are, at first glance hard to recognize, and even harder still to distinguish from normal men. But I would just like all the women who read this to know, that we are not all evil SOB's. Men who commit these acts are sadistic, abusive, miserable excuses for human beings, but we're not all like that. I don't have any figures or facts, but I know the majority of the men in this world, are good, kind honest people who wouldn't think twice about helping a woman in need. I'm just asking you, please, don't paint us all in the same picture! There are good guys out there, and I apologise on behalf of all the evil ones for their stupid, irresponsible behavior.

Reply

Some Guy - 11/04/2012

I think this is a really good point, and i feel for all those nice guys out there being discriminated but i think that most people who have commented havn't really meant to offend anyone or I hope and not to be sexist, really, but most people on here refer to rapists as men as it seems that men are the usual suspects, however i don't think they mean men as a whole but the kind of men that would do that. Good idea for mentioning it though, thanks.

Ellie - 13/04/2012

.....

11/04/2012

nothin has hapened to me but i am so ashamed of the boys who do such disgusting things ......... your website is a really good website ... thank u

Reply

..... - 11/04/2012

Nat

11/04/2012

When I was 7, I was waiting for the bus to go back home from school... The school was really isolated, and I was the only girl there.. So 2 boys came around to me and started to touch me, and one of them sexually abused me.. I tried to stop them, but they were older than me.. I felt really bad at the time, never told my family, after that I felt the bruises on me. I felt really ashamed, always kept as a secret.

Reply

Nat - 11/04/2012

Hello, I'm ever so sorry about this dreadful experience. This is horrid and nobody should be put through such a thing. Sexually Abusing is a crime so in a way is classed as rape as you did not want or ask for this to happen. You would be shy at the time and would be scared to tell anyone but you have to remember that none of this was your fault and nobody is going to get angry if you tell them. If this still affects you now I would suggest counseling maybe? Hope I Helped :)

Natalie - 18/04/2012

Oyue Pongan..

11/04/2012

Rape is consider a big sins. you can check in Mathew 5 : 27. "you have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery'. 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Or you can read Leviticus 15...peace..

Reply

Oyue Pongan.. - 11/04/2012

I really don't see how religion comes into this,as the rules state, keep on topic and keep your god squad tosh out of it.

Atheist - 20/04/2012

emily o'shea

11/04/2012

when i was 12 a 19 year old boy came too my school and waited for me at the bottom of the drive, he dragged me into the back of the car with his mates and told me that i had too go with them or something bad would happen, i tried to get put but they locked the car i was really scared, he made his friends take me too his house when no one was in and he threw me on the bed , i tried too get up but he just pinned me down he raped me the only person i could tell at the time was my boyfriend but then i got scared whenever i saw him, i had too tell my best friend and she made me go some counciling sessions and they had too tell my dad because i was so young. i think that it is sick for people to rape others because they are just sick and twisted and people shouldnt be forced into doing things they dont want too :/

Reply

emily o'shea - 11/04/2012

i really hope you get better from this trauma

John - - 11/04/2012

someone

10/04/2012

my and ex and me were trying to be friends, but he wanted more. last summer this situation used to happen and id be saying no, but he'd carry on and would alwyas refuse to take no for an answer. he was a lovely guy, but i didnt want anything to happen yet it always ended up happening dispite me always saying no. eventually i got a stronger back bone and said no more firmly but hed still take my top of and touch me when i didnt want him too, obviously as it was familiar it didnt feel like rape...but when i started standing up to him he just dropped me and we havent spoken in about 4 months since, watching this made me wonder about the situation and if what he did was rape in the summer or if i was jut weak and pathetic and needed more of a backbone.

Reply

someone - 10/04/2012

Never think of yourself as weak or pathetic, it isn't your fault at all that he "raped/abused" or hurt you in any way. You obviously see the best in people which is a good thing which just turned out to be wrong in this case, which again isn't your fault. I think you were very brave to eventually stand up to him and you should be proud as a lot of people wouldn't do that, and i wouldn't blame them. But you did the right thing, honestly.

Ellie - 13/04/2012
you are not weak and pathetic dont put yourself down wat he did was disgusting and he should be ashamed of himself

bubbles - 12/04/2012

b

10/04/2012

when i was 18 this exact scenario happened ( drunk , house party i was saying no- he was calling me weird and "a let down" ) , i said i didnt want too but he carried on, untill i escaped and hid in another room in the house , but he found me and carried on dispite me (allbeit meekly) saying no all i remember is staring at the tapestry on the wall while it was happening crying silently and trying to get my phone from the end of the bed with my feet so i could text my sister to come and help, eventually i got it and text her and she came and screamed at him and told him to get dressed, get off and go home. we always joke about the situation, because the guy was someone id know for a while, and I really liked him, he did so many nice things for me it was just that one stupid drunk moment that made me feel worthless. for years ive blamed myself for not being firmer about saying no, and anyone ive told about has just laughed the situation off so ive been confused as to why it still bothers me sometimes...im not sure if it counts as rape because i wasnt firmer about saying no, and because he was a nice person . but ever since then ive had issues with letting people in, ive devloped severe OCD and even though it was 4 years ago now Its still hevay on my mind and when i saw this it was the firs thing i thought of . I m not sure what to make of this all really, if im just being an idiot or what.

Reply

b - 10/04/2012

Hey B,
It still counts as rape if you didn't fully consent to it. Don't keep it in and those who laugh need to look themselves in the mirror. A drunk mistake is still a mistake. Keep your head up

Ness - 11/04/2012

Carlos Stein

10/04/2012

This is a topic which needs bringing to the surface. Hopefully the video campaign should get the message through to the majority of young men in this age group. I would like you to hear a moving song which I wrote after my friend had her drink spiked: http://soundcloud.com/unclestein/radical-romance-beyond-radio

Carlos Stein

Reply

Carlos Stein - 10/04/2012

mystery

10/04/2012

When i was younger i was laid in bed with my eyes closed trying to get to sleep and someone came into my room, there was a lot of touching, i was so scared i didn't move. it happened a few times. every since i've always been nervous to do anything even if i wanted to. The only person i trust is my boyfriend who i've been with for a year and i still sometimes get nervous. Is this normal for somone in my situation and is there anyway to get over it?

Reply

mystery - 10/04/2012

Hi... i only whanted to know did u see who it was in ur room or u were just too scared to open ur eyes?:( If u saw him was he someone u knew?

Brenda - 11/04/2012
Hi, mystery
the way you are feeling now is normal after what happened to you. What happened to you can make you question who you trust and make you nervous. Whilst what happened to you, perhaps will always be with you, and perhaps you won't get over it, with time things will get easier. I think with the right help and support, you can get through this and start to come to terms with what happened. You say that the only person you trust is your boyfriend. Perhaps you could talk to him about it and how it is effecting you. If you dont feel comfortable talking to him, perhaps you could seek some counselling. There are many organisations which can help you overcome any problems and cope with any problems as a result of this. You can ring rape crisis if you are experiencing difficulties coping with what happened to you or find a local rape crisis centre near you who can provide counselling services to help you with any difficulties. www.rapecrisis.org.uk. I think by speaking out about what happened to you is the first step in receiving support and is a very brave one as it can be very hard to talk about something like this.
Laura

laura - 11/04/2012
Hi Mystery

Thank you for posting and sharing your story on the forum.

Being forced or pressured to have sex or take part in sexual activity that you don’t feel comfortable with is unacceptable. Understand that this was not your fault and there was nothing you could have done to prevent this.
It is important that you try and find someone you trust to talk to. It could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable with. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and that you feel comfortable with.

If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. You have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.
You can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem or go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact ChildLine by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.
Alternatively you can call National Freephone Rape Helpline to talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm.
If you have been sexually assaulted you can also speak to the police. Most police forces have specially trained police officers who can help. You can contact the police immediately by dialling 999.

10/04/2012

lu

09/04/2012

yes

Reply

lu - 09/04/2012

Speak Out against abuse

Zoe's story

what do you think? share your opinions

Terms and conditions of use