This is ABUSE

Help uscall outabuse

Zoe's story

  • Sex with someone who doesn't want to is rape
  • Abuse in relationships isn’t always physical
  • Would you recognise abuse if you saw it?
  • Emotional Abuse
  • Controlling Behaviour
  • Mandem On The Wall
  • Twist and Pulse
  • Charlie McDonnell
  • Bedroom
  • Liam & Beth - Recognise abuse when you see it
  • Ryan & Jade - Recognise abuse when you see it
  • Sam & Alice
  • If you could see yourself
  • Party
  • School
  • Takeaway

Sex with someone who doesn't want to is rape.

what do you think? share your opinions

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Results: 255 - 270 of 548

  • katiew


    at the park my bf was being silly and then he pulled down his trousers and pants. thankfully
    some mates were with us. then he put hand up my top and undid my bra. i am only 11 so at first it was funny, then when my friends left i did up my bra then i stand up but my bf pulled me back down and i he went to take my top off but i jumped up and i run for my life.

    the next day he said that i made him take off HIS top and trousers and i run out offschool crying. i told my mum and she told the scholl.
    everthing is better now. my bf is now my ex and he is now in the poilce books.


    katiew - 06/05/2012

  • Kara


    I dont really know if this would be called as rape but ive been seeing this both and he keeps asking and i keep saying no he older and has had sex but im scard that we will and because he faulsed me it will be classed as rape?


    Kara - 30/04/2012

    • If anyone forces anybody else to have sex it is rape. It doesn't matter if it's a stranger, boyfriend or husband.

      Only when I'm Ready - 28/08/2012

  • Bec


    Hi my friend was 15 and was going through a hard time and she ended up sleeping with a 25 year old guy who worked at the gym she went to. He didnt know she was under age, but when he found out he didnt walk away he got into a relationship with her. They moved in together almost a year ago when she was still fifteen. She's still with him and is only sixteen. Would the earlier encounters when she was 15 be classed as rape?


    Bec - 30/04/2012

    • i believe this is called statory rape as she was under the age of consent. if it was proved they had a sexual realationship under the age of 16. he could be proccescuted and b on a sex offender register.

      rebecca - 01/05/2012

  • Claire


    I think that this is awful. This has almost happened to me in the same situation and it is awful but i managed to bring the boy round to his senses in time. It is scary and not nice and should never ever be done.


    Claire - 30/04/2012

  • Hatty


    Absolutely disgraceful


    Hatty - 30/04/2012

  • briony gooden


    i no people who have been raped i feel like iv been raped before


    briony gooden - 30/04/2012

  • Zac


    All rape is awful and yet I NEVER see anything about gay Rape. I am gay and have been raped so I can say easily that the support for women far out ways the support for gay men. I feel simply because there is this lack of support I can not tell anyone and I have high anxiety when I see this guy.


    Zac - 30/04/2012

    • Hi Zac

      Thanks for your post and I'm sorry to hear about what happened to you.

      Abuse and rape happens can happen in any relationship. If you need help you can contact Broken Rainbow.
      Broken Rainbow offers support for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) people experiencing domestic violence. It also aims to raise awareness in the LGBT community and elsewhere of the impact of homophobic, transphobic and same sex domestic violence on the lives of LGBT people.

      Broken Rainbow runs a Helpline staffed by highly trained operators, experienced in the specifics of LGBT domestic violence, with many coming from frontline services. They understand the issues you’ll face and go through extensive training to provide you with the best possible support.

      You can call them on 0300 999 5428
      Opening Times: Monday 2pm-8pm, Wednesday 10am-5pm, Thursday 2pm-8pm

      This Is Abuse team 30/04/2012

  • m


    my gf has been raped in the past by her ex. because of him she doesnt feel comfortable to kiss or even be together anymore. the relationship is really slow. i dont know if all this is because of her ex or something? she said shes scared to get close to people. i plan goin cinema, shoppin and stuff with her but theres always an excuse or something. she hasnt seen me for couple of weeks, she says shes busy working lately. her ex has screwed up her life and now its screwin up our relationship. dont know what to do anymore. just want the best for her even if it means were not together anymore. should she call someone or speak to someone that can speak to her? she has said 2 me that theres no point speaking to anyone since theres not much anyone can do. i just hope she can get over her ex, because i love her to bits and only wish the best for her. thanks


    m - 30/04/2012

    • I only come on here to give advice, but having a friend who was once raped I know how your girlfriend feels. I think the best thing to do is one day to go to her and if she tries to stop talking and go away hold her, gently of course so she doesn't get worried, but hold her and tell her that her ex-boyfriend was messed up and you love her and you'd never let anyone do that to her because she deserves so much more, and ask her to tell someone because you heal so much more when there's someone to talk to about it

      Gx - 26/06/2012

  • rebecca


    iv been threw a awful ralationship with rape and violance often in from of my baby. i felt suck and controlled. id strongly reccomend if any1 if in this situation to contact survive u can get there number online. they have helpd me so much also the freedom project.


    rebecca - 30/04/2012

    • hi rebbeca, i only come on this website to offer support x well done for pulling through x

      katie x - 14/05/2012

  • M


    This is so true people who force girls into sex make me sick! Girls are more likely to just keep quiet and go along with it and wont accept the fact they did get raped, im glad this is made to gain awareness that it is rape when they don't want it but just go along with it to stop any problems. Maybe people will hopefully see this and gather more courage to just say no if they don't want it not say yes just because they are scared, some guys are just a sick excuse to be alive.


    M - 30/04/2012

  • J


    If I didn't want to have sex with my ex boyfriend he'd start groping me and push me down every time I said no until I'd have to have sex with his so he'd stop, is this rape or just me being weak?


    J - 29/04/2012

    • Hi J

      Thanks for your post.

      To answer your question, if you didn't consent to sex or any sexual actitivy, if you were forced or pressured to have sex when you didn't want it, than it was rape and rape is a crime.

      If this has happened to you, try and find someone you trust to talk to. It could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable with. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and that you feel comfortable with and trust.
      If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. You have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.
      You can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem or go to where you can contact ChildLine by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.
      Alternatively you can call National Freephone Rape Helpline to talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm.

      This Is Abuse team 30/04/2012

  • Anonymous


    I was in a sexually abusive relationship for about a year, it was horrible. Now I've escaped and finally want to start dating again, but due to my past experiences I flinch when a man so much as holds my hand. Has anyone else felt this way or have any suggestions of how I can move on from my fears and start living again?


    Anonymous - 29/04/2012

    • Hi Anonymous

      Thank you for your post and I'm sorry to read you are having a tough time.

      Have you tried talking about what happened and how you feel in confidence.

      You can call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem or go to where you can contact ChildLine by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.

      Alternatively you can call the National Domestic Violence Helpline on 0808 2000 247 (run in partnership between Women’s Aid and Refuge).

      This Is Abuse team 30/04/2012

  • jack


    hello, im new and i'v got a problem, i have a friend called Amy she is 13 and in arelationship with a much older boy, im worried that he might presure her into having sex, what should I do she trusts me not to tell the teacher, but im really worried.


    jack - 28/04/2012

    • hi Jack,i was in a similar situation, sit down and talk to her about it privatley, express your feelings that you feel unsafe for her x it will work out alright i the end x

      katie x - 14/05/2012

    • Hi Jack

      Thanks for your post, if you think you have spotted some of the warning signs of abuse in your friend’s relationship, they may need professional help and your encouragement and support to help to stop it.

      Tell your friend you are worried about them and let them know that the abuse is not their fault, it’s unacceptable and that support is available.

      It can be useful to think up a code word that they can use on the phone to let you know they need help. 
Don't ignore the issue if you think it is happening. When you try to talk to them, try not to make them feel judged as it takes courage to admit abuse. 
Encourage them to talk to a trusted adult, and if their partner has been violent or forced them to have sex, encourage them to talk to the police. You shouldn’t confront their partner on your own and neither should your friend. 

      If your friend wants to speak to someone in confidence encourage them to contact the National Domestic Violence Helpline on 0808 2000 247 or Childline on 0800 11 11 they can also go to where you they can contact ChildLine by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.

      This Is Abuse team 30/04/2012



    i am 18 and had sex with my boyfriend.....he made a sex tape without my permission. i didnt know he was making one. is this abuse?


    ANONYMOUS - 28/04/2012

    • Yes it is abuse and the worst kind, as your intimate experience can be used online and re-lived over and over again without your consent. As you are 18, you could try and report the matter to the police or better still seek legal advice from a solicitor, perhaps a strongly worded letter from them might convince him to delete the images. Please, if there is any advice I could give to young people, remember any images or films you make can come back to haunt you later on and could, in some circumstances cost you your job.

      mana - 09/05/2012

  • Sophie


    I havnt had anything done to me... But i cant trust boys because of what has happened to my friend... She was round her boyfriends house and she was raped. At about 3 in the morning, i had her knocking my my door asking if she could stay round mine. She told me what ahd happened and her story has made me so scared of staying round my boyfriends house. I know not every boy is like that but i might be unlucky enough to have a boyfriend like that... What can i do to make sure?


    Sophie - 28/04/2012

    • Hi Sophie

      Thanks for your post and I'm sorry to hear about what happened to your friend.

      Please remember that although abuse in relationship happens to many people, majority of people have healthy relationships.

      In order to keep safe have a look at signs of abuse in relationships on this website
      It will tell you on what to look out for as abusing behaviour can escalate overtime.

      This Is Abuse team 30/04/2012

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Results: 255 - 270 of 548

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