This is ABUSE

Help uscall outabuse

If you could see yourself

If you could see yourself, would you see rape?

  • Sex with someone who doesn't want to is rape
  • Abuse in relationships isn’t always physical
  • Would you recognise abuse if you saw it?
  • Emotional Abuse
  • Controlling Behaviour
  • Mandem On The Wall
  • Twist and Pulse
  • Charlie McDonnell
  • Bedroom
  • Liam & Beth - Recognise abuse when you see it
  • Ryan & Jade - Recognise abuse when you see it
  • Sam & Alice
  • Zoe's story
  • Party
  • School
  • Takeaway

Sex with someone who doesn't want to is rape.

what do you think? share your opinions

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Results: 255 - 270 of 546

  • Bec


    Hi my friend was 15 and was going through a hard time and she ended up sleeping with a 25 year old guy who worked at the gym she went to. He didnt know she was under age, but when he found out he didnt walk away he got into a relationship with her. They moved in together almost a year ago when she was still fifteen. She's still with him and is only sixteen. Would the earlier encounters when she was 15 be classed as rape?


    Bec - 30/04/2012

    • i believe this is called statory rape as she was under the age of consent. if it was proved they had a sexual realationship under the age of 16. he could be proccescuted and b on a sex offender register.

      rebecca - 01/05/2012

  • Claire


    I think that this is awful. This has almost happened to me in the same situation and it is awful but i managed to bring the boy round to his senses in time. It is scary and not nice and should never ever be done.


    Claire - 30/04/2012

  • Hatty


    Absolutely disgraceful


    Hatty - 30/04/2012

  • briony gooden


    i no people who have been raped i feel like iv been raped before


    briony gooden - 30/04/2012

  • Zac


    All rape is awful and yet I NEVER see anything about gay Rape. I am gay and have been raped so I can say easily that the support for women far out ways the support for gay men. I feel simply because there is this lack of support I can not tell anyone and I have high anxiety when I see this guy.


    Zac - 30/04/2012

    • Hi Zac

      Thanks for your post and I'm sorry to hear about what happened to you.

      Abuse and rape happens can happen in any relationship. If you need help you can contact Broken Rainbow.
      Broken Rainbow offers support for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) people experiencing domestic violence. It also aims to raise awareness in the LGBT community and elsewhere of the impact of homophobic, transphobic and same sex domestic violence on the lives of LGBT people.

      Broken Rainbow runs a Helpline staffed by highly trained operators, experienced in the specifics of LGBT domestic violence, with many coming from frontline services. They understand the issues you’ll face and go through extensive training to provide you with the best possible support.

      You can call them on 0300 999 5428
      Opening Times: Monday 2pm-8pm, Wednesday 10am-5pm, Thursday 2pm-8pm

      This Is Abuse team 30/04/2012

  • m


    my gf has been raped in the past by her ex. because of him she doesnt feel comfortable to kiss or even be together anymore. the relationship is really slow. i dont know if all this is because of her ex or something? she said shes scared to get close to people. i plan goin cinema, shoppin and stuff with her but theres always an excuse or something. she hasnt seen me for couple of weeks, she says shes busy working lately. her ex has screwed up her life and now its screwin up our relationship. dont know what to do anymore. just want the best for her even if it means were not together anymore. should she call someone or speak to someone that can speak to her? she has said 2 me that theres no point speaking to anyone since theres not much anyone can do. i just hope she can get over her ex, because i love her to bits and only wish the best for her. thanks


    m - 30/04/2012

    • I only come on here to give advice, but having a friend who was once raped I know how your girlfriend feels. I think the best thing to do is one day to go to her and if she tries to stop talking and go away hold her, gently of course so she doesn't get worried, but hold her and tell her that her ex-boyfriend was messed up and you love her and you'd never let anyone do that to her because she deserves so much more, and ask her to tell someone because you heal so much more when there's someone to talk to about it

      Gx - 26/06/2012

  • rebecca


    iv been threw a awful ralationship with rape and violance often in from of my baby. i felt suck and controlled. id strongly reccomend if any1 if in this situation to contact survive u can get there number online. they have helpd me so much also the freedom project.


    rebecca - 30/04/2012

    • hi rebbeca, i only come on this website to offer support x well done for pulling through x

      katie x - 14/05/2012

  • M


    This is so true people who force girls into sex make me sick! Girls are more likely to just keep quiet and go along with it and wont accept the fact they did get raped, im glad this is made to gain awareness that it is rape when they don't want it but just go along with it to stop any problems. Maybe people will hopefully see this and gather more courage to just say no if they don't want it not say yes just because they are scared, some guys are just a sick excuse to be alive.


    M - 30/04/2012

  • J


    If I didn't want to have sex with my ex boyfriend he'd start groping me and push me down every time I said no until I'd have to have sex with his so he'd stop, is this rape or just me being weak?


    J - 29/04/2012

    • Hi J

      Thanks for your post.

      To answer your question, if you didn't consent to sex or any sexual actitivy, if you were forced or pressured to have sex when you didn't want it, than it was rape and rape is a crime.

      If this has happened to you, try and find someone you trust to talk to. It could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable with. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and that you feel comfortable with and trust.
      If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. You have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.
      You can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem or go to where you can contact ChildLine by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.
      Alternatively you can call National Freephone Rape Helpline to talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm.

      This Is Abuse team 30/04/2012

  • Anonymous


    I was in a sexually abusive relationship for about a year, it was horrible. Now I've escaped and finally want to start dating again, but due to my past experiences I flinch when a man so much as holds my hand. Has anyone else felt this way or have any suggestions of how I can move on from my fears and start living again?


    Anonymous - 29/04/2012

    • Hi Anonymous

      Thank you for your post and I'm sorry to read you are having a tough time.

      Have you tried talking about what happened and how you feel in confidence.

      You can call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem or go to where you can contact ChildLine by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.

      Alternatively you can call the National Domestic Violence Helpline on 0808 2000 247 (run in partnership between Women’s Aid and Refuge).

      This Is Abuse team 30/04/2012

  • jack


    hello, im new and i'v got a problem, i have a friend called Amy she is 13 and in arelationship with a much older boy, im worried that he might presure her into having sex, what should I do she trusts me not to tell the teacher, but im really worried.


    jack - 28/04/2012

    • hi Jack,i was in a similar situation, sit down and talk to her about it privatley, express your feelings that you feel unsafe for her x it will work out alright i the end x

      katie x - 14/05/2012

    • Hi Jack

      Thanks for your post, if you think you have spotted some of the warning signs of abuse in your friend’s relationship, they may need professional help and your encouragement and support to help to stop it.

      Tell your friend you are worried about them and let them know that the abuse is not their fault, it’s unacceptable and that support is available.

      It can be useful to think up a code word that they can use on the phone to let you know they need help. 
Don't ignore the issue if you think it is happening. When you try to talk to them, try not to make them feel judged as it takes courage to admit abuse. 
Encourage them to talk to a trusted adult, and if their partner has been violent or forced them to have sex, encourage them to talk to the police. You shouldn’t confront their partner on your own and neither should your friend. 

      If your friend wants to speak to someone in confidence encourage them to contact the National Domestic Violence Helpline on 0808 2000 247 or Childline on 0800 11 11 they can also go to where you they can contact ChildLine by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.

      This Is Abuse team 30/04/2012



    i am 18 and had sex with my boyfriend.....he made a sex tape without my permission. i didnt know he was making one. is this abuse?


    ANONYMOUS - 28/04/2012

    • Yes it is abuse and the worst kind, as your intimate experience can be used online and re-lived over and over again without your consent. As you are 18, you could try and report the matter to the police or better still seek legal advice from a solicitor, perhaps a strongly worded letter from them might convince him to delete the images. Please, if there is any advice I could give to young people, remember any images or films you make can come back to haunt you later on and could, in some circumstances cost you your job.

      mana - 09/05/2012

  • Sophie


    I havnt had anything done to me... But i cant trust boys because of what has happened to my friend... She was round her boyfriends house and she was raped. At about 3 in the morning, i had her knocking my my door asking if she could stay round mine. She told me what ahd happened and her story has made me so scared of staying round my boyfriends house. I know not every boy is like that but i might be unlucky enough to have a boyfriend like that... What can i do to make sure?


    Sophie - 28/04/2012

    • Hi Sophie

      Thanks for your post and I'm sorry to hear about what happened to your friend.

      Please remember that although abuse in relationship happens to many people, majority of people have healthy relationships.

      In order to keep safe have a look at signs of abuse in relationships on this website
      It will tell you on what to look out for as abusing behaviour can escalate overtime.

      This Is Abuse team 30/04/2012

  • Blake


    Saw this campaign advert at the cinema....sadly I don't think it helps the situation and a more preventative nature for both males and females should be addressed instead....

    Cases like this would never be successfully prosecuted: The 'evidence' would be that
    they are alone so it's the old adage of his word against hers; they're obviously at a party together as a couple, they go upstairs voluntarily as a couple, they go into a bedroom as a couple laughing and joking....

    This is all ANY eyewitnesses would see...therefore no case.

    Think about WHERE you are...WHO you are with....WHAT are you doing there? WHAT do you think the other person is there for...

    Maybe then there will be less of the WHY? and more people will stay safe


    Blake - 27/04/2012

    • I disagree.

      Of course it's not just about legalities but the legal processes in this country do not help and why the conviction rate is low. What I pointed out is illustrative of what the courts would see....

      So what can you do to stop ever being in this horrific situation? You protect yourself as best you can...

      It's not a question of putting blame onto the victim either - I never said that while I never mentioned anything about what clothes were being worn!! That's a very stereotypical viewpoint to take.

      To me, it's a question of being a little bit smart, streetwise and using a bit of common sense whoever you are.

      For instance, as a guy, if I am out and meet a girl I like and we start chatting, I may offer to buy her a drink.....but I make sure she comes to the bar with turn protecting not only myself but her as well.

      Similarly, there have been times when girls have collapsed off their face in has taken any real notice but as a Good Samaritan I make sure a bouncer or someone knows and they are dealt with...again I make sure I am not alone when I am trying to help someone and in public view at all time.

      My younger sister was also taught not to play silly games like how many free drinks she can get out of guys on nights out. Because, although most are fine, there are a few people who will be looking for something in return...

      Sadly this is the way of the world in the 21st century...we don't live in unlocked terraced houses, all go to church with a sense of community and strong upstanding morals and is predominantly a nasty place at time.

      Furthermore, 'Abuse is Abuse' is a trivial thing to say in my post as it is was not a case of morality - we can all agree with that it is wrong....

      It's about ALL society taking a collective responsibility through protection and prevention....

      Blake - 01/05/2012

    • I'm not sure that the point of the project is to consider legalities. The advertisements are aimed at helping people who have been abused and, crucially, at STOPPING THE ABUSER. Regardless of any testimonies or evidence, the whole scene is wrong. To say 'be careful where you are, who you're with, or what you're wearing' is to shift blame. No person can go around thinking about potential abuse and how to avoid it the whole time - especially since abuse mainly occurs in trusting relationships. Instead of stating that people should stay safe, society needs to put more emphasis on the fact that this should not be happening. Abuse is abuse and the person committing it is in the wrong.

      Anon - 30/04/2012

  • Sarah


    I have never been raped but i have a friend who was raped at a young age and i think its a horrible thing do nobody should have to go through that.


    Sarah - 27/04/2012

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