This website works best using cookies, which are currently enabled. To find out more about cookies and for information on how to turn them off, click here.
This is ABUSE

Help uscall outabuse

If you could see yourself

If you could see yourself, would you see rape?

  • Sex with someone who doesn't want to is rape
  • Abuse in relationships isn’t always physical
  • Would you recognise abuse if you saw it?
  • Emotional Abuse
  • Controlling Behaviour
  • SPOT THE SIGNS OF ABUSE IN A FRIEND’S RELATIONSHIP
  • Mandem On The Wall
  • Twist and Pulse
  • Charlie McDonnell
  • Bedroom
  • Liam & Beth - Recognise abuse when you see it
  • Ryan & Jade - Recognise abuse when you see it
  • Sam & Alice
  • Zoe's story
  • Party
  • School
  • Takeaway

Sex with someone who doesn't want to is rape.

what do you think? share your opinions

Please read and accept these rules on the right before commenting. All of the comments you post on this website are treated confidentially and moderated.

  • This is so we can email you to let you know if there's been any replies to your message. Your email address will never be shown or passed on to anyone.
  • I wish to opt out of notification emails
An expert from Young People’s Services – AVA – is reading and responding to posts on the site, to ensure that responses are independent, sensitive and helpful.

Pages << < 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 > >>

Results: 45 - 60 of 541

  • help me please fizz

    11/05/2013

    my boyfriend slapped me and hit me beat me up yesterday because he wanted to have sex but iwas only 15 so we were kissing when i pushed him off me and told him i wasnt ready ! then he slapped me then i hit him back for my own good he got so mad he hit me in the eye out one leg on one side and out the ohter on on the other side pinned me down to the ground and started to forcingly started to kiss my neck with his tounge and he bit my neck soo hard it started to bleed he then took his top off i screamed and tried to take him off me but he was too strong he then ripped my dress and raped me he got off me and kicked me in the stomach i couldnt belive it i felt like i had woken up from the dead i was alone in the corner crying loudly then he put his t shirt back on and told me to shutup and told me that it was gonna happen anyways i just froze after like and hour he came to me and told me he was sorry i didnt say anything he told me to decide if i forgive him in school tomarrow i dont know wat to do plzz ur the only people that can help

    Reply

    help me please fizz - 11/05/2013

    • Hi

      First of all Hun I'm so so sorry to read your post.

      This is a very traumatic experience and no amount of words can make it better.

      You have to go the police. Is there family you can turn to?

      There are also victim support groups to help you.

      Your area will have there own. I have only just read your post and please please reply if you wanna talk to someone who is concerned for your safety.

      Stay safe and you have to keep away from this boy. He is not a good person.

      ;( so sad

      Help - 19/05/2013

    • Dear Fizz

      What’s happened to you is horrific and we are truly sorry to hear how you have suffered. Being forced or pressured to have sex when you don’t want to is rape, it is a serious crime and it should be reported. It’s important to understand that what happened was not your fault; there was nothing you could have done to prevent it.

      We would urge you to find someone you trust to talk to - a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable talking to. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and trust. If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does, it’s really important to speak up about what happened. You have the right to be safe, and help and support is out there.

      If you’re under 18, you can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 in confidence to talk; nothing is too big or small for them. Alternatively, you can go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.

      If you’re over 18, you can call the National Freephone Rape Crisis Helpline in confidence to talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999, 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm.

      You can also speak to the police about the assault. Most police forces have specially trained police officers who can help – if you’re unsure you might find it helpful to talk to an expert who can tell you more about the process and what to expect before you make the call to the police. You can find details of suitable organisations on the Need Help page here - http://thisisabuse.direct.gov.uk/need-help.

      If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger, please call the police on 999.

      This Is Abuse team 13/05/2013

  • fizzora

    29/04/2013

    i have a big brother i am 14 my big brother is 19 he has all his friends come at his house saturday nights once my brother had gone out and i was home alone i knew they were going to come so i opened the door and they just barged in the house they were drunk i told them that my brother wasnt inside they said were not here for him were here for you i got really scared his friend was walking towards me i knew wat they were trying to do so i ran upstairs they all followed me he grabbed my leg i fell on the floor banged my head he held me down i was crying begging him to get off he out his hand over my mouth screamed at me told me to shut up he kept going after he was done i kept still on the floor he threatened me if i had said anything to anyone they would kill me my brother came home and saw me on the floor i kept quite he started to cry wen he saw the bruises i didnnt say anything

    Reply

    fizzora - 29/04/2013

    • Dear Fizzora

      Thank you for your post. What’s happened to you is horrific and we are truly sorry to hear how you have suffered. Being forced or pressured to have sex when you don’t want to is rape, it is a serious crime and it should be reported. It’s important to understand that what happened was not your fault; there was nothing you could have done to prevent it.

      We would urge you to find someone you trust to talk to - a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable talking to. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and trust. If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does, it’s really important to speak up about what happened. You have the right to be safe, and help and support is out there.

      If you’re under 18, you can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 in confidence to talk; nothing is too big or small for them. Alternatively, you can go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.

      You can also speak to the police about the assault. Most police forces have specially trained police officers who can help – if you’re unsure you might find it helpful to talk to an expert who can tell you more about the process and what to expect before you make the call to the police. You can find details of suitable organisations on the Need Help page here - http://thisisabuse.direct.gov.uk/need-help.

      If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger, please call the police on 999.

      This Is Abuse team 13/05/2013

  • farhizza

    28/04/2013

    i was homealone and my boyfriends friends just barged in to my house i trusted them a lot they were acting all crazy theyre were 3 of them they told me to take a seat i asked them what are you doing here then one was touching my leg i told him to get off me because he was leaning on top off me then another pulled my hair made me stand up and told me to shutup he ripped my trousers and sllaped me until i fell to the ground the mark got on top of me and kissed me on the neck i told him to get of mee but then the third threatened me with a knife i cried they were laughing while one was raping me then i felt frozen they all had a go at me they beat me up afterwards while i was naked bruises and all sorts everywhere my boyfriend came over i just put a dress on then opened the door he told me wat happened i didnt say anything i didnt tell him anything i told him that i got hurt outside he will never know my parents were worried wen they came back home i told them the same they tols me to have a rest or go to sleep i couldnt all noght long crying and crying tommarow is school and they will be there again ! please can you help i hope i get a reply x

    Reply

    farhizza - 28/04/2013

    • Dear Farhizza

      Thank you for your post. What’s happened to you is horrific and we are truly sorry to hear how you have suffered. Being forced or pressured to have sex when you don’t want to is rape, it is a serious crime and it should be reported. It’s important to understand that what happened was not your fault; there was nothing you could have done to prevent it.

      We would urge you to find someone you trust to talk to - a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable talking to. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and trust. If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does, it’s really important to speak up about what happened. You have the right to be safe, and help and support is out there.

      If you’re under 18, you can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 in confidence to talk; nothing is too big or small for them. Alternatively, you can go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.

      If you’re over 18, you can call the National Freephone Rape Crisis Helpline in confidence to talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999, 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm.

      You can also speak to the police about the assault. Most police forces have specially trained police officers who can help – if you’re unsure you might find it helpful to talk to an expert who can tell you more about the process and what to expect before you make the call to the police. You can find details of suitable organisations on the Need Help page here - http://thisisabuse.direct.gov.uk/need-help.

      If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger, please call the police on 999.

      This Is Abuse team 13/05/2013

  • universitystudent

    22/04/2013

    I was on holiday with a large group of friends, and my friend and I allowed someone we believed was a close friend in our bed. My friend and I had both been drinking and our other friend hadn't. We've always been close, so I felt comfortable having him stay in my bed, he got close and I didn't think anything of it, however he started to touch me, and I didn't respond because I was terrified. He started talking in my ear, and breathing on my neck and I still didn't respond and he continued to touch me. I haven't really told anyone and being around him terrifies me, I've confronted him but he doesn't really seem to care. I'm just not sure what to do, and a couple of other girls I know are nervous around him. I can't report him, because I'm scared, I'm thinking of confronting him and telling him not to go near my other friends, but I'm scared that'll mean he'll come back to me...

    Reply

    universitystudent - 22/04/2013

    • Hi universitystudent,

      Thanks for your message.

      If you or your friends are being forced to take part in sexual activity that you don’t feel comfortable with, that is totally unacceptable, no one should be put you in that position.

      Examples of sexual abuse or assault can include being touched in a sexual way that makes you feel uncomfortable or frightened (this can be through clothes or not), being forced to watch others engage in sexual activity, being pressured to send naked pictures of yourself, sexting and being made to stimulate yourself or others.

      We would always encourage you to try and find someone you trust to talk to. It could be a tutor, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable talking to. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and trust. And if they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. You have the right to be safe and happy, and help and support is out there.

      You can also call the National Freephone Rape Crisis Helpline to talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999, 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm. They offer counselling and support for women who have experienced any form of sexual violence, not just rape.

      This Is Abuse team 23/04/2013

  • Kizzy

    18/04/2013

    There is this kid and on day me and my best friend we're playing out side in school. And we're only in sixth grade he kept on saying he was going to rape he me and her ran away from him he stuck his foot on her part. And she fell and he was unbutting his pants and didn't pull of her pants but he got on top of her. What sould I do next time plz help

    Reply

    Kizzy - 18/04/2013

    • Hi Kizzy,

      Thanks for your message.

      What that boy is doing and saying is really horrible and nasty, he should not be behaving like that, it's wrong. Please understand that what he's doing isn't your fault or your friend's fault.

      It's really important you tell your mum, dad, a teacher or another adult you trust about what this boy is doing. And if they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. You don't have to put up with the boy's behaviour.

      You can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem, nothing is too big or small for them. They won’t judge you; they will listen and help you. Or alternatively you can go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.

      Please make sure you speak to an adult about this.

      This Is Abuse team 19/04/2013

  • luke

    11/04/2013

    abit sexiest no all boys do this girls have done this not happy

    Reply

    luke - 11/04/2013

    • Hi Luke,

      Thanks for your feedback; we are sorry that you feel like this about the campaign.

      We are aware that anyone can be a victim of abuse whether they are female, male, gay or straight, and we are also aware that most teenage boys have normal and healthy relationships. However, in abusive relationships the statistics show that it is usually the male in the relationship that is the abuser and the female the victim and therefore it is important for the campaign to reflect this.

      Our objective is to help both boys and girls spot the signs of abuse in relationships and raise awareness of what is and isn’t acceptable behaviour, and although we depict a female victim in the advert, the messages are relevant for both boys and girls whether they are victims or abusers.

      We have provided advice and information on the website which points all victims to the help they need - http://thisisabuse.direct.gov.uk/need-help - including specific help for male victims of violence and abuse through Respect and Survivors UK. The site is also a forum where young people can pose questions and discuss the issue with their peers and experts in the field.

      We also work with partners such as the Dudley Safe and Sound partnership who have produced videos about male victims of abuse and those in gay relationships, which you can view by clicking on this link. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qt-U2ue-QmU. We have produced a video in partnership with Broken Rainbow which is intended to provide advice and signpost help for LGBT victims of domestic violence: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3U0ZJFdxCtg&list=UU697e0rGEZK8tO-qmFN6kag&index=2&feature=plcp.

      This Is Abuse team 12/04/2013

  • vunerable

    11/04/2013

    Hi, um I really need your help. I'm 16 and my bf is nearly 22, we've had sex together a lot but a few nights ago we went to party and he got drunk but I didn't, he took me upstairs into a room and pulled my pants down, I told him to stop and get off me because it was starting to hurt as he is so much bigger and I've always been small for my age, but he wouldn't get off, then he 'did it' with me and we went home. The next day I didn't say anything but then we saw this abuse advert from your campaigne about zoe at the party advert on the tv, I just looked at him because it was obvious that what had happened to zoe happened to me by him, my bf pressed me into the wall and said that the advert was just advertising 'rough sex' and that's all we did, I told him that it was about abuse and he said, no its not, its just about boys having rough sex and its no big deal. I left it at that but I feel very unsettled, what exactly is 'rough sex'? Is it legal? Do many people do it with their bf? And is it a form of abuse? :( please help me xxx

    Reply

    vunerable - 11/04/2013

    • Hi vunerable,

      Thanks so much for posting.

      Your boyfriend is wrong. Rape is not rough sex - rape is when a man forces his penis into the mouth, anus or vagina of another person when that person doesn't want him to do so; the law calls this 'without consent'. Rape is a crime and should be reported.

      It does not matter if you are in a relationship with someone or if they are a stranger. When someone forces or pressures you to have sex when you don't want to, it means you are not consenting and it is rape. It also does not matter if you start out by saying yes and then change your mind, or if you feel like you have 'given in'. It is also never OK to make someone feel bad if they don't want to have sex as this is a form of emotional abuse. Please understand that what happened was not your fault, there was nothing you could have done to prevent it.

      Please try and find someone you trust to talk to about what happened. It could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable talking to. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and trust. If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. You have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.

      You can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem. No problem is too big or small for them. Alternatively, you can go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.

      You can also speak to the police. Most police forces have specially trained police officers to help people who have been raped or sexually assaulted. If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger, call the police on 999.

      You can find out more about rape and sexual assault here: http://thisisabuse.direct.gov.uk/worried-about-abuse/view/rape-sexual-assult

      This Is Abuse team 11/04/2013

  • kimberley

    10/04/2013

    i had a boyfriend i was 15 he was 17 it was his birthday party it was a blast then after that i was at his house he knew that i never thought about sex and never wanted it we came upstairs and he showed me his bed he was drunk he started to kiss me i knew what he was tryin to do so i pushed him off and ran he came after me and grabbed my hair pinned me down on the bed and bit me on the neck he didnt stop he beat me upthen he told me he was srry i just cried in the corner then he told me to quit cryin i cried louder i got on his nerves he picked me up threw me o the bed and rippe my dress he told me DO YOU LIKE THAT i was just cryin he got on top of me he put his hand over my mouth and told me to shutup i just stayed silent but i was cryin he pinned me down then took his top off and start kissin me everywhere then he raped me after he was done he said that he was sorry and he started to hug me i i was crawled up on the floor crying he tol me to where his clothes so i did he dropped me off home and told my mum that i got tooo drunk And that my dress was all wet my mom told me to ly dwn so i did I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO HE HAUNTS ME

    Reply

    kimberley - 10/04/2013

    • hey look kimberley u deseve better u need to tell someone you trust look baby you gott to do somethin about him babes i wish the best for you hunny

      becca - 10/04/2013

    • Hi kimberley,

      Thanks for contacting us.

      We are really very sorry to hear what happened at the party. Physical assault and rape are crimes, please understand that what happened was not your fault, there was nothing you could have done to prevent this.

      We would urge you to try and find someone you trust to talk to, if you don't feel comfortable opening up to your mum, please talk to a teacher, or another relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable talking to. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and trust. If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does, it’s important to speak up about what happened. You have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.

      If you’re still under 18, you can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem, nothing is too big or small for them. They won't judge, they will listen, support and advise you. Alternatively, you can go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards. If you’re over 18 now, you can call the National Freephone Rape Crisis Helpline to talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999, 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm.

      You can also speak to the police, most police forces have specially trained police officers who can help. If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger, call the police on 999.

      This Is Abuse team 10/04/2013

  • fizzyah

    10/04/2013

    i had a cousin that i loved he was amazin but one day he took mr in a alliway and there wre a few of his friends my cousin dropped me off there my cousin ran off and there were 3 boys they beat me up and i can remember thaey had this injection thing i was screamin they stuck the injection in my neck then i passed out then wen i woke up 1 of the guys were on top of me i was naked and it was like midnight after they were done they just left and spat on my face i felt disgusted upset wen i went back home my mom was shocked i told her that i was beaten by random people i didnt tell her the full story she told me to go to slepp i dint i couldnt i have noghtmares and i hope i get an reply

    Reply

    fizzyah - 10/04/2013

    • Hi fizzyah,

      Thanks very much for your message.

      We are so very sorry to hear what happened to you, that's horrific - rape is a crime and it should be reported. It’s important to understand that what happened was not your fault; there was nothing you could have done to prevent it.

      We would urge you to tell your mum the whole story or find someone else you trust to talk to. It could be a teacher, another relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable talking to. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and trust. And if they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does, it’s important to speak up about what happened. You have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.

      If you’re under 18, you can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem, nothing is too big or small for them. Alternatively, you can go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.

      If you’re over 18, you can call the National Freephone Rape Crisis Helpline to talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999, 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm.

      You can also speak to the police about the assault, most police forces have specially trained police officers who can help. If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger, call the police on 999.

      This Is Abuse team 10/04/2013

  • hannah

    08/04/2013

    what will the police do if I was raped 3/4 years ago and hadn't told anybody and I have no proof? and the man is in prison already for other crimes?

    Reply

    hannah - 08/04/2013

    • Hi Hannah,

      Thanks for your post

      Reporting what happened to the police may seem like a big deal and if you have questions you might find it helpful to talk to an expert who can tell you more about the process and what to expect before you make the call to the police. Call the National Freephone Rape Crisis Helpline to talk to an advisor about your worries - they are on 0808 802 9999, 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm, they will be able to help and advise you.

      Please also remember that if/when you do decide to report it, most police forces have specially trained police officers who can help.

      This Is Abuse team 08/04/2013

  • krim

    06/04/2013

    Hi. When i was seven i used to go over to my cousins house orr sleepovers. My uncle used to slap my butt as i walked around. Then one night i was pretending to sleep because my cousins had already gone to sleep. But then he would come and touch my legs under my clothes, and touch my lady parts. I didnt move or pretend to wake up. I was scared but i didnt tell anyone until a year later i told my mum because my cousins invited me frequently, and i liked playing with them. Its been six years. My mum is the only one who.knows. We have had three converstions since. I start crying which makes my mum upset. She says we cant tell anyone because it would crush our family since my aunty and him have a very rocky relationship. My mum says i have to try and forget but i am 13 and i am going through puberty. Throughout my childhood i didnt really think about it until six months ago. I cry when i think about it. I cry when i go to sleep. I think i cry in my sleep when i have nightmares, that is until i wake up in the middle of the night. In fact i am crying as i write this. I dont know how to stop thinking about it. But i cant get counselling because my mum is the only one who knows. Its ger sisters husband who abused me. I cant talk to my mum often because it just upsets both of to talk about it. I just want to know how to deal with my depressions. I would be VERY GREATFUL if you reply!!!

    Reply

    krim - 06/04/2013

    • Hi krim,

      Thanks for posting on the site.

      You can get help so please don't think you have to manage this on your own. What happened to you is awful, and we really think you need to talk about your experiences and get the help and support you deserve.

      We would encourage you to speak to ChildLine, you can call them in confidence on 0800 1111 to talk about what happened or go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact ChildLine by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.

      This Is Abuse team 08/04/2013

  • Martin

    05/04/2013

    It concerns me that the videos on your site are all gender specific, male abuse to females. This seems to be giving an incorrect impression of the reality of abuse and could lead to the belief that females are not abusive. This could lead to making abused males feel even more isolated.

    Reply

    Martin - 05/04/2013

    • Thanks for your feedback Martin. We are sorry that you feel like this about the campaign.

      We are aware that anyone can be a victim of abuse whether they are female, male, gay or straight, and we are also aware that most teenage boys have normal and healthy relationships. However, in abusive relationships the statistics show that it is usually the male in the relationship that is the abuser and the female the victim and therefore it is important for the campaign to reflect this.

      Our objective is to help both boys and girls spot the signs of abuse in relationships and raise awareness of what is and isn’t acceptable behaviour, and although we depict a female victim in the advert, the messages are relevant for both boys and girls whether they are victims or abusers,

      We have provided advice and information on the website which points all victims to the help they need - http://thisisabuse.direct.gov.uk/need-help - including specific help for male victims of violence and abuse through Respect and Survivors UK. The site is also a forum where young people can pose questions and discuss the issue with their peers and experts in the field.

      We also work with partners such as the Dudley Safe and Sound partnership who have produced videos about male victims of abuse and those in gay relationships, which you can view by clicking on this link. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qt-U2ue-QmU

      We have also produced a video in partnership with Broken rainbow which is intended to provide advice and signpost help for LGBT victims of domestic violence: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3U0ZJFdxCtg&list=UU697e0rGEZK8tO-qmFN6kag&index=2&feature=plcp

      We welcome all views; it’s good that the campaign is prompting you to ask questions Martin and seek more information.

      Tempero Moderation 05/04/2013

  • fizz

    24/03/2013

    i had a boyfriend when i was 16 i loved him a lot one night he hurt me this is my story he was drunk he grabbed me threw me on the bed hit me with his belt a lot of times ripped my clothers put a cloth over my mouth he took his top off and then you know what he did raped me he kept goin on for like 2 hours i screamed cried but nothing helped he was heavy i couldnt move when he was done he pulled my hair threatened me that if i told anyone he would kill me he told me that it was nothing to worry about and that is was only rough sex he beat me up after im really scared ive not told my mom yet and this only happed 2 daays ago i cant stop having nightmares about him people still that were dating im scared helpless what should i do plzz help ive not told anyone and im crying while typing plzz help mee plzz

    Reply

    fizz - 24/03/2013

    • hiya fizz

      i have been through what you hav been through hun you really need to tell th police about it hun

      it happend to me 2 tims in my life bfor i was 13 nd this year ,

      you nd to tll your um th bst way to do it is to sit her down and just say mum i need to tell you somthing then tell her the bst way

      hope i get a reply back soon

      paige - 29/03/2013

    • Hi Fizz,

      Thanks for your message.

      What happened to you was horrific, we are so sorry to hear - but you really do need to tell someone you trust what happened. Physical abuse and rape are crimes, you should report your boyfriend.

      None of what happened was not your fault - please tell your mum, or if you can't tell her, speak to someone else you trust, and if they don't want to listen, keep on trying until you find someone that does. It’s really very important to speak up about what happened, do not keep it to yourself. You have the right to be safe, and you can get the help and support you need.

      You can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111, free and in confidence, or you can go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.

      You can also speak to the police - most forces have specially trained police officers who can help.

      If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger, call the police on 999.

      This Is Abuse team 26/03/2013

  • Kate

    24/03/2013

    When i was about 9 i think, i went to a child minders when my mum wasn't home from work until 6pm after school, this childminder had two sons, one aged about 15/16 the other 1 year older than me.

    The older son and I got on really well and i would often chat to him whilst the other boy was downstairs with his mum, one afternoon, we were talking and he brought up masturbation and i didn't really know what it was so i played along, then he said, 'i learnt some new moves, can i try them on you' then he started touching me first through my trousers, then he said 'I can't really do it like this' so he went unzipped my trousers and went into my pants.

    He kept touching me , i didn't really know what was happening apart from the fact that i didn't like it, but i was scared of him so, of course, i didn't tell him to stop. a few minutes later he heard someone coming up the stairs so he stopped, once they'd gone, he started touching himself, i felt uncomfortable.

    Looking back now, aged 14, i wish i'd said no.
    It always comes back and haunts me, it's left me really uncomfortable around boys on my own. I've never told anyone, Can anybody help?

    Reply

    Kate - 24/03/2013

    • Hi Kate

      Thanks for getting in touch.

      Being forced or pressured to have sex or take part in sexual activity that you don’t feel comfortable with is totally unacceptable. Please understand that this was not your fault, there was nothing you could have done to prevent it.

      If you are unsure of what is or isn’t classed as sexual abuse or assault, examples can include being touched in a sexual way that makes you feel uncomfortable or frightened (this can be through clothes or not), being forced to watch others engage in sexual activity, sexting and being made to stimulate yourself or others.

      If you are ever put under pressure to have sex when you don’t want to, it’s important to try and find someone you trust to talk to. It could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable talking to. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and trust.

      And if they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. You have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.
      If you’re under 18, you can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem, nothing is too big or small for them. Alternatively, you can go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.

      If you have been sexually assaulted you can also speak to the police. Most police forces have specially trained police officers who can help. If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger, call the police on 999.

      Tempero Moderation 24/03/2013

  • fizzah

    18/03/2013

    when i was 15 i had a boyfriend whos wa 17 i loved him a lot

    but one day i was home alone and there was a knock on the door it was his friends and him they were drunk i told them to sid then my boyfriend told me to go upstairs his friends came along too his friendlocked the door

    my boyfriend ripped my dress pinned me down on the bed undressed me but a bandana over my mouth i screames he was really heavy i though i was gonnna die he hurted me he raped me and to keep me still he used his 2 friends to hold me down

    after they were done they threatened me and beat me up they went i didnt say anything i was frozen i felt like i wanted to commit suicide

    the next day in school he ignored me and his friend took the piss out of me they thought it was joke i dodnt tell my mom because i was 2 scared too ur the only person i have told and i need your advice plzz

    tell my what to do they scare me in my dreams i cant forget about it that rape is apart of my life forever how do i forget about it aahhh!im stuck

    Reply

    fizzah - 18/03/2013

    • Go and tell someone that can help the police a friend a friends parent.

      Your parent everyone will understand an stand by ur side to make it better

      Anonymous - 19/03/2013

    • Hi fizzah,
      Thank you for having the courage to post your story.

      Being forced or pressured to have sex when you don’t want to is rape. It is a crime and it should be reported.

      It’s important to understand that what happened was not your fault; there was nothing you could have done to prevent it.

      If you have been raped, we would urge you to try and find someone you trust to talk to. It could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable talking to. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and trust.

      If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does, it’s important to speak up about what happened. You have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.

      If you’re under 18, you can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem, nothing is too big or small for them. Alternatively, you can go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.

      If you’re over 18, you can call the National Freephone Rape Crisis Helpline to talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999, 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm.

      If you have been raped or sexually assaulted, you can also speak to the police. Most police forces have specially trained police officers who can help. If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger, call the police on 999.

      Tempero Moderation 19/03/2013

Pages << < 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 > >>

Results: 45 - 60 of 541

Terms and conditions of use

Please read and accept these rules below before commenting. All of the comments you post on this website are treated confidentially and moderated.

Stay safe – don't include any personal information in your comments, such as your surname, email address, street address and phone number.

Don't include the personal details of anyone else in your posts (including boyfriend/girlfriend, parents, guardians, teachers, social workers or group leaders).

Don't go off topic - keep your comments relevant to the "This Is Abuse" debate. People want their opinions to be heard – don't shout them down.

Don't post crude, racist, offensive, violent or vulgar messages to the site.

Treat everyone with respect – even if someone has a different view to your own, don't let it get personal.

Don't glamorise illegal or dangerous activities, including violence of any kind. It's ok to talk about your experiences but you shouldn't encourage others to do anything illegal or dangerous.

Don't write anything that's untrue about anyone else (including boyfriend/girlfriend, parents, guardians, teachers, social workers, group leaders and famous people). Don't write anything that could harm anyone else's reputation.

This isn't a dating site – it's a platform to talk about teenage relationship abuse and your opinions on the matter; don't use it to meet or flirt with other people.

Don't write everything in CAPS – it's the equivalent of shouting and isn't polite or easy for everyone to read.

Don't post entire messages in text speak – it's ok to shorten some words but not everyone understands text speak or finds it easy to read.

It's ok to post links to other websites as long as they're relevant to the "This Is Abuse" debate and don't break the house rules in any way.

Don't break copyright rules. This means that you shouldn't post text you didn't write.