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This is ABUSE

Help uscall outabuse

If you could see yourself

If you could see yourself, would you see rape?

  • Sex with someone who doesn't want to is rape
  • Abuse in relationships isn’t always physical
  • Would you recognise abuse if you saw it?
  • Emotional Abuse
  • Controlling Behaviour
  • SPOT THE SIGNS OF ABUSE IN A FRIEND’S RELATIONSHIP
  • Mandem On The Wall
  • Twist and Pulse
  • Charlie McDonnell
  • Bedroom
  • Liam & Beth - Recognise abuse when you see it
  • Ryan & Jade - Recognise abuse when you see it
  • Sam & Alice
  • Zoe's story
  • Party
  • School
  • Takeaway

Sex with someone who doesn't want to is rape.

what do you think? share your opinions

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Results: 105 - 120 of 539

  • dean

    24/01/2013

    why is it rape is always blammed on men? i mean no offence as i obviously know that a lot of women are rapped every year and its horrible, i just feel that this typical stereotype of always associating rape with men is wrong

    Reply

    dean - 24/01/2013

    • Hi Dean,

      The law says that rape can only be committed by a man as for the offence to be committed there must be intentional penetration of the mouth, vagina or anus of another person with a penis. A woman can be convicted of sexual assault, which includes other sexual acts (e.g. intentional penetration of the vagina or anus of another person with a part of her body or an object). Both rape and sexual assault are crimes and can result in imprisonment. You can read more about rape and sexual assault here: http://thisisabuse.direct.gov.uk/worried-about-abuse/view/rape-sexual-assult

      The objective of this campaign is to improve understanding of what is and isn’t acceptable sexual behaviour, thereby helping people to recognise and name sexual abuse and rape as such.

      The advert was developed with the help of several charities who work with people who have been affected by this issue and was also extensively researched with young people prior to being made.

      We are aware that anyone can be a victim of abuse whether they are female, male, gay or straight. This site has lots of information and advice in the ‘your questions’ and ‘need help’ sections for males who have been victims of abuse and those in same sex relationships.

      This Is Abuse team 01/02/2013

  • Anonymous

    24/01/2013

    We are now happily engaged and he hates himself for what happened but it wasn't him that actually did everything but his other persona. I was not blackmailed. I never wanted to lose him mentally and physically. It was classed as Rape because even though it was my idea, I was in 100% distress. I was in pain and I was in nothing but tears because the whole experience was horrible. I want others to realise this. because rape is not just when you say "no".

    Reply

    Anonymous - 24/01/2013

    • Hi anonymous,

      Thanks for your post.

      Have you spoken to someone about your experience? Rape is very traumatic; we think it is important that even though this may have happened some time ago you should try to speak to someone about this if you can. As you have decided to stay in your relationship please be aware that an abusive, violent or controlling relationship is not normal or acceptable; nobody needs to tolerate this behaviour.

      You should also be aware that a lot of people who have experienced all kinds of abuse will blame themselves. However, the responsibility lies solely with the abuser, your fiance, never with you. This can be hard to get your head around, as can still loving that person. Again, that is also completely normal and many people are torn between loving the person and hating their behaviour. Please remember, you have nothing to feel ashamed or guilty about.

      Please try and find someone you trust to talk to. It could be a parent or other relative, a close friend or anyone else that you feel comfortable with. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and that you feel comfortable with and trust. If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. You have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.

      Alternatively you can call National Freephone Rape Crisis Helpline to talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999, 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm. If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger, call the police on 999.

      You can also speak to the police. Most police forces have specially trained police officers to help people who have been raped or sexually assaulted. If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger, call the police on 999.

      This Is Abuse team 01/02/2013

  • Chloe

    23/01/2013

    I was raped 4 times, once by my first boyfriend, once by one of his friends another time by another of his friends then by my second boyfriend. I haven't been raped since but I've had sex a lot since I learnt to just accept it. I am only 14 and I don't know what to do, I never wanted to have sex before I was 16 but now I have and I never stop thinking about it. The advert is good and I'm glad it's there but it does bring back bad memories.

    Reply

    Chloe - 23/01/2013

    • i'm sorry to hear that, the smae thing happened to me but this time not only did i have sex but i gave head, and this was me being forced to do it, so we're kinda the same but not exactly and got called a slag, and i never thought of doing all this before i'm 16, but life goes on.....

      Rebeccca - 28/01/2013

    • Hi Chloe,

      Thanks very much for your post. It's great you support our campaign and you understand we're informing and educating; we're also truly sorry to hear about these traumatic incidents from your past.

      We think it is very important that even though this may have happened some time ago, that you should try to speak to someone about this if you can, you are clearly distressed.

      Being forced or pressured to have sex when you don’t want to is rape and it is a crime. Please understand that this was not your fault and there was nothing you could have done to prevent this. Sex with any girl/boy under 16 is unlawful, including oral. It doesn't make any difference if permission (consent) is given or not, if you're under 16 sex is illegal.

      No matter how long ago please try and find someone you trust to talk to. It could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable with. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and that you feel comfortable with and trust.

      If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. You have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.

      You can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem or go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact ChildLine by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.

      Alternatively you can call National Freephone Rape Crisis Helpline to talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999, 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm.

      If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger, call the police on 999.

      You can also speak to the police. Most police forces have specially trained police officers to help people who have been raped or sexually assaulted. If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger, call the police on 999.

      This Is Abuse team 25/01/2013

  • Anon

    22/01/2013

    I think it is great that awarness is being raised it is a sensitive subject and far too many women have had to go through this sort of abuse. But how do women get over somthing like this? they don't bottom line so prevention but will it work?

    Reply

    Anon - 22/01/2013

    • Dear Anon,

      Thanks for your post.

      We're pleased to hear you support our campaign.

      Please be aware that the objective of this campaign is to improve understanding of what is and isn't acceptable sexual behaviour, thereby helping people to recognise and name sexual abuse and rape as such. Research shows that there are large numbers of teenagers (both male and female) who view this sort of behaviour as normal and/or just something that you put up with.

      Although the campaign has finished now, it was shown on national television in an attempt to reach as many people as possible, creating national awareness of a national problem. We have already seen, in the response to the advert on this website, that it is proving helpful in enabling young people to rethink their attitudes towards rape, so it's working in that respect.

      This Is Abuse team 25/01/2013

  • sammy

    22/01/2013

    this sad to say but when i was younger i got raped by a very close family member ( not saying who) i was about 10 at the time and now im 15 and lucky this person moved away! i never told anyone till this day!!!!

    Reply

    sammy - 22/01/2013

    • Hi Sammy,

      Thanks for your post and for having the courage to speak up.

      We are so very sorry to hear about this traumatic incident from your past. Being forced or pressured to have sex when you don’t want to is rape and it is a crime, please understand that this was not your fault. There was nothing you could have done to prevent this.

      We think it's important for you to talk about your experience further, especially If you are having difficulty or if you are feeling sad. No matter how long ago please try and find someone you trust to talk to. It could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable with. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and that you feel comfortable with and trust.

      If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. You have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.

      You can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem or go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact ChildLine by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.

      Alternatively you can call National Freephone Rape Crisis Helpline to talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999, 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm. If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger, call the police on 999.

      You can also speak to the police. Most police forces have specially trained police officers to help people who have been raped or sexually assaulted. If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger, call the police on 999.

      This Is Abuse team 25/01/2013

  • Jessie

    21/01/2013

    I think this campaign is good. I am 14 now but when I was 11 I was raped by my boyfriend. I think it needs to be clear that this could happen to you as I never thought it would and couldn't be prepared.

    Reply

    Jessie - 21/01/2013

    • Hi Jessie,

      Thanks for your post.

      We're happy to hear you support our campaign. We also very sorry to hear about this traumatic incident from your past. We just want to say that we think it is important that even though this happened some time ago, that you should try to speak to someone about this if you can. It could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable with. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and that you feel comfortable with and trust.

      If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. You have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.

      You can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem or go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact ChildLine by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.

      Alternatively you can call National Freephone Rape Crisis Helpline to talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999, 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm. If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger, call the police on 999.

      You can also speak to the police. Most police forces have specially trained police officers to help people who have been raped or sexually assaulted. If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger, call the police on 999.

      This Is Abuse team 25/01/2013

  • sara

    20/01/2013

    I think plenty of women have been in this position. We have just let it happen in the end, even if we didn't want it to, just because we didn't know how to deal with the situaiton. I am in my 30's and think that so how on earth can we teach young women How to deal with situations like this??

    Reply

    sara - 20/01/2013

    • Hi Sara,

      I think this point really needs addressing. The fact that women such a young age are unaware of how to deal with these situations is a great cause for concern. I think that if youths were made aware of how to deal with situations like this then the amount of abuse reported would drop dramatically.

      Being forced into something so young is such a traumatic event and being pressured into doing it is a crime. Young women do not know what facilities are available and maybe these problems need addressing at a younger age.

      Thom - 28/01/2013

  • Raminta

    20/01/2013

    i got raped by my cousin when i was 12 and know im 15 i still am scared of it and even im got a bf im scared of him oing stuff to me even huggning to me cause after the whole rape thing but my mum knows about it and my best friend but im still reall scared!

    Reply

    Raminta - 20/01/2013

    • Hi Raminta,

      Thanks very much for your post.

      We are so sorry to hear about this traumatic incident from your past. We think it is important that even though this happened a few years ago, that you should try to speak to someone about this if you can, you are clearly upset.

      To be clear; being pressured into doing sexual things you don't like is abuse, and sex with any girl or boy under 16 is unlawful. It doesn't make any difference if permission (consent) is given or not, if you're under 16 sex is illegal.

      It's important to understand that being forced or pressured to have sex when someone doesn’t want to is rape and it is a crime. It's also important you understand about consent - for more information on consent, please visit http://thisisabuse.direct.gov.uk/am-i-abusive/view/rape-sexual-assult/consent so you are clear on what it means.

      Please understand that this was not your fault. There was nothing you could have done to prevent this. No matter how long ago please try and find someone you trust to talk to. You can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem or go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact ChildLine by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.

      Alternatively you can call National Freephone Rape Crisis Helpline to talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999, 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm. If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger, call the police on 999.

      You can also speak to the police. Most police forces have specially trained police officers to help people who have been raped or sexually assaulted. If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger, call the police on 999.

      This Is Abuse team 25/01/2013

  • anonymous

    19/01/2013

    Although I am unnerved by these adverts - I guess that's what they're supposed to do though, to make you understand how bad these actions are.
    I feel deeply sorry for any victims of rape, be they male or female. Rape needs to stop.
    One of my best friend's had to struggle through a miscarriage without telling anyone after she got pregnant from a friend of ours who is actually 20 or so years old. She (we) are only 15 years old ourselves and this happened whilst she was only 14.
    She told me what happened whilst we were staying at a gathering for a week with some of our other close friends. I asked her whether she consented and she said that she did not say no as she thought that he liked her. I used to trust him so much, he has this kind of personality that everyone likes. I don't know how to trust him now after he hurt one of my closest friends. He even admitted to using her. This 'event' occurred not long after he split up from his girlfriend so i'm guessing that this was a kind of rebound.
    Since then she has told her parents and they're are very supportive and know that it would be the hardest thing that she could ever tell them.
    I did read into whether or not this is rape. Is this called statutory rape as she is under age and he was about 5 years older than her?
    I'm sorry if this is really complicated but I haven't told anyone else about this and I felt that I needed to share this as it is a heavy burden on me as I cannot tell anyone in my family as we happen to be close to the guy's family too and have known them since before I was born.

    Reply

    anonymous - 19/01/2013

    • Hi Anonymous,

      Thanks for your post.

      To be clear; being pressured into doing sexual things you don't like is abuse, and sex with any girl or boy under 16 is unlawful. It doesn't make any difference if permission (consent) is given or not, if you're under 16 sex is illegal.

      It's important to understand that being forced or pressured to have sex when someone doesn’t want to is rape and it is a crime. Speak to your friend and help them understand that this was not their fault.

      It's also important you understand about consent - for more information on consent, please visit http://thisisabuse.direct.gov.uk/am-i-abusive/view/rape-sexual-assult/consent so you and your friend are clear on what it means.

      This is obviously distressing you so try and find someone you trust to talk to. It could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable with. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and that you feel comfortable with and trust. And if they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. You have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.

      You should encourage your friend to call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about the problem or go to www.childline.org.uk where you they can contact ChildLine by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.
      Alternatively she can call National Freephone Rape Crisis Helpline to talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999, 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm. If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger, call the police on 999.

      This Is Abuse team 25/01/2013

  • Emilyn

    19/01/2013

    I got raped a one year ago, I'm pregnant, and nobody knows. And I'm only 14... and realy scared!

    Reply

    Emilyn - 19/01/2013

    • im so sorry to hear about your problem it seems serious you need to contact some one!! let me know if you need help. xxxx

      lauren - 28/01/2013

    • HI Emylin

      We are sorry to hear about this traumatic incident from your past. We think it is important that even though this may have happened some time ago, that you should try to speak to someone about this if you can.

      Being forced or pressured to have sex when you don’t want to is rape and it is a crime. Understand that this was not your fault. There was nothing you could have done to prevent this.

      If this has happened to you no matter how long ago please try and find someone you trust to talk to. It could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable with. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and that you feel comfortable with and trust.

      If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. You have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.

      You can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem or go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact ChildLine by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.

      Alternatively you can call National Freephone Rape Crisis Helpline to talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999, 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm. If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger, call the police on 999.

      You can also speak to the police. Most police forces have specially trained police officers to help people who have been raped or sexually assaulted. If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger, call the police on 999.

      Tempero Moderation 19/01/2013

  • ella

    19/01/2013

    When I was 5 or 6 yrs old, two of my cousins used to tease me they would touch my legs and genital area and of course i'd try to fight back and defend myself and I remember not being able to understand what they were doing and why they were acting that way.

    They were at my age actually. one of them was a few months older that me and the other was a year younger so they were kids too... and this would happen any time we played in my room or their room.

    I never told this to my mum even as a kis and I dunno why! and in 5 yrs time they were forever asking me to take off my underwear so they could have a look at my genital and each time I told them that I wasn't going to do it. but I was too tired to fight them and I finally gave in and did what they wanted. and after that they didn't tease me again, I was 10 at the time...

    I'm 27 now and still today I'm thinking about all this... can we call it abuse? because they were kids too just like me... but it took such a huge toll on me and destroyed my childhood and still today i'm not able to talk about this to my mum.

    So many yrs has passed and not me nor any of my cousins have a talk about that incident. we meet some times and they r not a threat to me they are actually well adjusted and respect me all the time. but the fact that i lost my childhood because of them, makes me hate them.

    Reply

    ella - 19/01/2013

    • Hi Ella,

      In answer to your last question, yes it is.

      This Is Abuse team 07/02/2013

    • Hi Ella,

      Thanks for posting on the site.

      Our campaign is aimed at 13-18 year olds but there are many specialist support services available for adults.

      Firstly, please understand that forcing or pressurizing someone to have sex or take part in sexual activity that they do not feel comfortable with is unacceptable.

      To find out more information and the definitions of rape and sexual assault, please visit http://thisisabuse.direct.gov.uk/worried-about-abuse/view/rape-sexual-assult/the-law.

      Information about childhood sexual abuse can be found here: http://www.rapecrisis.org.uk/childsexualabuse2.php

      It's important to try and find someone you trust to talk to. It could be a parent or other relative, a close friend, or anyone else that you feel comfortable with. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and that you feel comfortable with and trust. If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. Help and support is out there.

      You can call the National Freephone Rape Crisis Helpline to talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999, 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm. Or you can visit www.rapecrisis.org.uk for further advice and information.

      If you have been sexually assaulted you can also speak to the police. Most police forces have specially trained police officers who can help. You can contact the police immediately by dialling 999.

      This Is Abuse team 25/01/2013

  • anonymous

    18/01/2013

    I just know about this recently when i was watching youtube and the advertise pop up. I mean, before i thought that if we are in a relationship and we have sex even though i don't want to that wouldn't be count as rape. And i must confess that the event has left a big scar in my heart.

    I think people should advertise about problems like this more so teenager like me will understand the different between sex and abuse

    Reply

    anonymous - 18/01/2013

  • tia

    17/01/2013

    this has also happened to me a long time ago. a boy that i know used to live in the same building as mine and we used to say hi to each other. but after some time he took me to his house and told me he wanted to show me sthg to play and after we did. he didn't tell me what it was and then we had sex and told me that i should not tell my parents with threat. i was in year 5 and i didn't know anything about it. had i known it at that particular time. till this day i have kept it to myself and i feel horrible. help me please!

    Reply

    tia - 17/01/2013

    • Hi Tia,

      Thanks very much for your post.

      We are sorry to hear about this traumatic incident from your past. We think it is important that even though this may have happened some time ago, that you should really try to speak to someone about this if you can, you are clearly distressed.

      To be clear - being pressured into doing sexual things you don't like is abuse, and sex with any girl or boy under 16 is unlawful. It doesn't make any difference if permission (consent) is given or not, if you're under 16 sex is illegal.

      Firstly, being forced or pressured to have sex when you don’t want to is rape and it is a crime. Understand that this was not your fault.

      Secondly, it's very important to understand what consent is, please visit http://thisisabuse.direct.gov.uk/am-i-abusive/view/rape-sexual-assult/consent for more information.

      If this has happened to you no matter how long ago please try and find someone you trust to talk to. It could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable with. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and that you feel comfortable with and trust.

      If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. You have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.

      You can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem or go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact ChildLine by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.

      Alternatively you can call National Freephone Rape Crisis Helpline to talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999, 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm. If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger, call the police on 999.

      You can also speak to the police. Most police forces have specially trained police officers to help people who have been raped or sexually assaulted. If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger, call the police on 999.

      This Is Abuse team 25/01/2013

  • Isobell

    17/01/2013

    hi my names Isobell

    when I was in year 6, I was waiting for my mum to come and pick me up. she didn't come for a long time so my teacher told me to come inside and take a seat. he was putting all the chairs on top of the chairs but he left one whole table in the corner where there were no windows or door.

    he asked me if I could put all the chairs up on that table, and I listened to (I was kind of stupid so I didn't realise what he was about to do) then he closed the door and windows. he walked towards and pushed me onto the table. I fell down and he was looking at my waist I felt a bit uncomfortable, so I got up, but then he pushed me again saying "where are you going?" I said that I was going to see if my mum was there. he said no to me. that's when I realised that he was going to rape me. I tried to get away but he kept on pushing me back to the table.

    then he took off my jumper and shirt and started to touch my breasts and then he took off his trousers and mine and then raped me. I was screaming and screaming for help but no one could hear me because the windows were closed and even if they did they couldn't get to me because the door was locked.

    after he finished with me, he left me there just lying on the floor and said that if I told anyone he would stalk me and do it again. After that experience I didn't want that to happen to me again so I did as he said.

    I regret it so much now....I really wish that I had told someone sooner. But I guess it's never too late to tell someone about this.

    Reply

    Isobell - 17/01/2013

    • Hi Isobell,

      Thanks for your post. We are truly sorry to hear about this traumatic incident from your past. We think it is important that even though this may have happened some time ago, that you should really try to speak to someone about this if you can.

      Being forced or pressured to have sex when you don’t want to is rape and it is a crime. Please understand that this was not your fault, there was nothing you could have done to prevent this.

      Please remember, you have nothing to feel ashamed or guilty about.

      If you are feeling depressed try and find someone you trust to talk to. It could be a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable with. There are people who understand, and who can help you deal with your experience and the issues you are facing.

      You can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem or go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact ChildLine by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.

      The Samaritans may also be able to help, take a look at their website at http://www.samaritans.org.uk/ or email jo@samaritans.co.uk. You can also call the Samaritans helpline on 08457 909090.

      For confidential advice, information and support, speak to Victim Support - http://www.victimsupport.org.uk/ or call their Supportline on 0845 30 30 900. To hide your number, press 141 before dialing the number. Normal opening hours for the Supportline are: 9am – 9pm Mondays to Fridays, 9am – 7pm weekends and 9am – 5pm bank holidays.

      This Is Abuse team 25/01/2013

  • Charlotte

    16/01/2013

    A few years ago when I was in yr 7 I was walking home and a gang of roughly 25 yolds grabbed me

    they took me some were bou I was unconsious
    so I didn't know where I was and they raped me but I havent told anyon! :(

    Reply

    Charlotte - 16/01/2013

    • Hi Charlotte,
      Thank you for posting.and we are sorry to hear about this traumatic incident from your past.

      We think it is important that even though this may have happened some time ago, that you should try to speak to someone about this if you can.

      Being forced or pressured to have sex when you don’t want to is rape and it is a crime. Understand that this was not your fault. There was nothing you could have done to prevent this.
      If this has happened to you no matter how long ago please try and find someone you trust to talk to. It could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable with. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and that you feel comfortable with and trust.

      If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. You have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.
      You can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem or go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact ChildLine by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.

      Alternatively you can call National Freephone Rape Crisis Helpline to talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999, 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm. If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger, call the police on 999.

      You can also speak to the police. Most police forces have specially trained police officers to help people who have been raped or sexually assaulted. If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger, call the police on 999

      Tempero Moderation 17/01/2013

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Please read and accept these rules below before commenting. All of the comments you post on this website are treated confidentially and moderated.

Stay safe – don't include any personal information in your comments, such as your surname, email address, street address and phone number.

Don't include the personal details of anyone else in your posts (including boyfriend/girlfriend, parents, guardians, teachers, social workers or group leaders).

Don't go off topic - keep your comments relevant to the "This Is Abuse" debate. People want their opinions to be heard – don't shout them down.

Don't post crude, racist, offensive, violent or vulgar messages to the site.

Treat everyone with respect – even if someone has a different view to your own, don't let it get personal.

Don't glamorise illegal or dangerous activities, including violence of any kind. It's ok to talk about your experiences but you shouldn't encourage others to do anything illegal or dangerous.

Don't write anything that's untrue about anyone else (including boyfriend/girlfriend, parents, guardians, teachers, social workers, group leaders and famous people). Don't write anything that could harm anyone else's reputation.

This isn't a dating site – it's a platform to talk about teenage relationship abuse and your opinions on the matter; don't use it to meet or flirt with other people.

Don't write everything in CAPS – it's the equivalent of shouting and isn't polite or easy for everyone to read.

Don't post entire messages in text speak – it's ok to shorten some words but not everyone understands text speak or finds it easy to read.

It's ok to post links to other websites as long as they're relevant to the "This Is Abuse" debate and don't break the house rules in any way.

Don't break copyright rules. This means that you shouldn't post text you didn't write.