This is ABUSE

Help uscall outabuse

If you could see yourself

If you could see yourself, would you see rape?

  • Sex with someone who doesn't want to is rape
  • Abuse in relationships isn’t always physical
  • Would you recognise abuse if you saw it?
  • Emotional Abuse
  • Controlling Behaviour
  • SPOT THE SIGNS OF ABUSE IN A FRIEND’S RELATIONSHIP
  • Mandem On The Wall
  • Twist and Pulse
  • Charlie McDonnell
  • Bedroom
  • Liam & Beth - Recognise abuse when you see it
  • Ryan & Jade - Recognise abuse when you see it
  • Sam & Alice
  • Zoe's story
  • Party
  • School
  • Takeaway

Sex with someone who doesn't want to is rape.

what do you think? share your opinions

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Results: 45 - 60 of 548

  • Lauren

    30/07/2013

    I'm 18 and about 2 years ago, I was in a relationship with a boy who seemed extremely nice, about 3 months into our relationship he completey changed, he always got angry with me if I had my own opinion and hit me if I ever told him no, sometimes he left bruises on my arms, one time he even bit me on my leg because I kicked him trying to get him off of me, he always made out that everything was my fault and always found myself apologising, he forced me into sexual things and even if I tried to defend myself it wouldn't work because he's a lot stronger than me. Many times throughout our relationship I tried to end it, but he'd always threaten to beat my little brother up, he said things that I always wanted to hear by saying he loved me so I let myself believe I loved him, I'm now in a new relationship and this effects how happy we are, what can I do?

    Reply

    Lauren - 30/07/2013

    • Hi Lauren

      Thank you for your post. If you’ve being forced or pressured to have sex, or take part in sexual activity that you don’t feel comfortable with, that is totally unacceptable, no one should be putting you in that position. Please understand that what happened was not your fault and there was nothing you could have done to prevent it, don’t blame yourself.

      If you are unsure, examples of sexual abuse or assault can include being touched in a sexual way that makes you feel uncomfortable or frightened (this can be through clothes or not), being forced to watch others engage in sexual activity, being pressured to send naked pictures of yourself, sexting and being made to stimulate yourself or others.

      And we're really sorry to hear you've suffered physical abuse. Abuse is wrong and never okay, it’s not normal and it can seriously damage your confidence and your self-worth. Signs of physical abuse can include slapping, kicking, hitting or injuries as a result of violent behaviour.

      If this has happened to you, we would always encourage you to try and find someone you trust to talk to. It could be a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable talking to. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and trust. And if they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. You have the right to be safe and happy, and help and support is out there.

      As you're 18, you can call the National Freephone Rape Crisis Helpline to talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999, 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm. They offer counselling and support for women who have experienced any form of sexual violence, not just rape.

      This Is Abuse team 01/08/2013

  • Anonymous

    21/06/2013

    I need to know if this happened to me. I'm nearly 18. When I was 16, I was in love with an 18 year old, he had a girlfriend and I kept saying nothing could happen because he was with her, but he kept kissing me. He convinced me it was ok because he wanted to leave her, but couldn't in case she hurt herself (I know it was a terrible of me to go along with this and I have always felt guilty) . I was in his room, he kept asking me for sex. I was a virgin and I'd already told him before that I wasn't ready, he promised to respect that. I said I wasn't sure I was ready, and I was scared, but he kept pressuring me. Eventually he said 'Can we try?' I didn't really answer, because I didn't want to but I didn't want to disappoint him. We started having sex, I told him I was scared and then I said 'it hurts, stop', he just said 'It will hurt baby' and kept going. Afterwards he just ignored me, playing on a computer game. I felt like a slut because he was seeing someone else, I didn't think I deserved anything better. Despite this he left his gf and we were together for a year and a half, we broke up recently because he said I was awkward with him and wasn't close 'affectionate' enough to him physically. I once challenged him about what happened, and he said he was sorry and hated himself, but he continued pressuring me. He also liked talking about our sex life and calling me a prostitute in front of our friends to embarrass me. Long before this started, I remember seeing a text from another of his ex's about how he had kept pressuring her to try anal sex, he just said she was a liar. I feel so stupid for being with him for so long, but was I abused?

    Reply

    Anonymous - 21/06/2013

    • Hi there

      Thank you for your post. If you were being forced or pressured to have sex, or take part in sexual activity that you don’t feel comfortable with, that is totally unacceptable, no one should be putting you in that position. Please understand that what happened was not your fault and there was nothing you could have done to prevent it, don’t blame yourself.

      If you are unsure, examples of sexual abuse or assault can include being touched in a sexual way that makes you feel uncomfortable or frightened (this can be through clothes or not), being forced to watch others engage in sexual activity, being pressured to send naked pictures of yourself, sexting and being made to stimulate yourself or others.

      If this has happened to you, we would always encourage you to try and find someone you trust to talk to. It could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable talking to. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and trust. And if they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. You have the right to be safe and happy, and help and support is out there.

      If you’re under 18, you can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem, nothing is too big or small for them. They won’t judge you; they will listen, advise and guide you. Or alternatively you can go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.

      If you’re over 18, you can call the National Freephone Rape Crisis Helpline to talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999, 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm. They offer counselling and support for women who have experienced any form of sexual violence, not just rape.

      Also remember that if you have been sexually assaulted you can speak to the police. Most police forces have specially trained police officers who can help. If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger, call the police on 999.

      This Is Abuse team 21/06/2013

  • Amanda

    12/06/2013

    Hi I'm amanda I'm 14 and yesturday my familys friend came over and came to my room when I was watching tv he started hugging me then kissed me.he forsed me to his him then forced me to put my hand down his trousers and he took out his penis.he sarted asking me if I liked it I didn't reaply as I was terrifyed I had no idea what to do then he took my trousers off and was about to do some thing and just then my mum called me so he stoped and went to the adults. I have no idea what to do and I don't want to tell noone.

    Reply

    Amanda - 12/06/2013

    • Hi Amanda

      If you’re being forced or pressured to have sex, or take part in sexual activity that you don’t feel comfortable with, that is totally unacceptable, no one should be putting you in that position. Please understand that what happened was not your fault and there was nothing you could have done to prevent it, don’t blame yourself.

      If you are unsure, examples of sexual abuse or assault can include being touched in a sexual way that makes you feel uncomfortable or frightened (this can be through clothes or not), being forced to watch others engage in sexual activity, being pressured to send naked pictures of yourself, sexting and being made to stimulate yourself or others.

      If this has happened to you, we would always encourage you to try and find someone you trust to talk to. It could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable talking to. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and trust. And if they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. You have the right to be safe and happy, and help and support is out there.

      As you’re under 18, you can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem, nothing is too big or small for them. They won’t judge you; they will listen, advise and guide you. Or alternatively you can go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.

      Also remember that if you have been sexually assaulted you can speak to the police. Most police forces have specially trained police officers who can help. If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger, call the police on 999.

      This Is Abuse team 13/06/2013

  • sarah

    11/06/2013

    i am sarah and i am 18 years old. yesterday i went to a party with my friend hannah we were drunk. i heard screaming in a room. the door was locked and the words get off me stop it please. it sounded like my friend hannah. remeber we were at aparty so no one could help me the dj music was blastin like a thousand people dancing alchahol everywhere cheering and shouting. i knocked on the door after 1 hour i came back and the door was unlocked it was hannah she was bleeding from her nose lip she had bruises everywhere she was fully naked. i went in the room and put a blanket on her she looked at me i looked at her and we both started to cry at the same time. i told her what did he do to you she cried harder and harder she whispered to me he raped me he took my virginity. then i took her to my house cause my parents were on vacation so i let her wear my clothes i made her a cofee and put a blanket over her i was by her side the whole night .

    Reply

    sarah - 11/06/2013

    • Hi Sarah

      Thank you for your post. If your friend has been forced or pressured to have sex when they didn’t want to, that is rape and therefore a crime. We would encourage you to speak to your friend and help them understand that what happened wasn’t their fault and there was nothing they could have done to prevent it. Let them know there are people who can help them and provide support and guidance.

      If your friend is under 18, you should encourage them to call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about it, or go to www.childline.org.uk where they can contact ChildLine by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.

      If they’re over 18, they can call the National Freephone Rape Crisis Helpline to talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999, 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm.

      If you ever feel that your friend is in immediate danger, call the police on 999.

      This Is Abuse team - 12/06/2013

  • hannah

    09/06/2013

    i was raped and i would like to share my painful experience to all of these strong people out there who are survivors. i was 15 years old when i was raped in my ex boyfriends back seat. my ex boyfriend was 15 at that time it was prom night i was walking back home i did not go on a date to prom i went alone. my ex boyfriend asked me if i wanted a ride home but then i thought well ok i thought he changed. he took me to this place in the forest i told him that i want to go home where are we then he opened my car door grabbed me opened the back seat door and threw me then got on top of me he screamed "move your hands " i tried to get him of me he kept hold of my hands then started to kiss me on the neck and covered my mouth with his hand then he ripped my prom dress and then took my underwear off he insterted his penis in to my vagina and as he was moving in and out i couldnt beleive what was happening to me it hurt x when he was done he grabed me by the arm and threw me in the forrest and drove off as i was in the cold forrest i was crying loudly for help i was lost after hours and hours of crying my dad had found me on the road then took me home x my mum fainted when i told her what happened to me my father started to cry and he comforted me now my ex boyfriend is now in court to testify this is my story x i call myself a survivor

    Reply

    hannah - 09/06/2013

    • Hi Hannah

      Thank you for your post and sharing your experience. We are so very sorry to hear about this distressing incident from your past. We think it is really important that even though this may have happened some time ago, you should still try to speak to someone about this if you can.

      Being forced or pressured to have sex when you don’t want to is rape, it is a serious crime and it should be reported. Please understand that this was not your fault, there was nothing you could have done to prevent it.

      No matter how long ago it happened please try and find someone you trust to talk to - a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable talking to. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and trust. If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. You have the right to be safe and happy, and help and support is out there.

      If you’re under 18, you can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem, nothing is too big or small for them. They won’t judge you; they will listen, advise and guide you. Or alternatively you can go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.

      If you’re over 18, you can call the National Freephone Rape Crisis Helpline to talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999, 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm.

      You can also speak to the police. Most police forces have specially trained police officers to help people who have been raped or sexually assaulted. If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger, call the police on 999.

      This Is Abuse team 10/06/2013

  • fizzahx

    31/05/2013

    there was this party at school at my friends house it was a swim suit kind of party we had to wear our swim suits i was a shy young teenager i was 14 years old there was a 16 year old boy i liked his name was jake he was so cutee he came up to me and told me that he loved me and that i was pretty ect... so i trusted him then he told me that he wanted to show me something upstairs in my friend room i was stupid enough to go with him well he shut the door behind him it felt awkward alone with him we started to kiss when he got on top of me on the bed he started to kiss my neck i said no stop it get off of me please stop it jake stoop he went too far he took my bra off when i slapped him he got angry he pinned me down took my swim suit off took his swim shorts off and then he inserted his penis in to my vagina it hurt like hell he kept going i tried to fight abck i was tooo weak so i didnt do anything when he was done he put his shorts back on and then he dressed me so he changed me in my swim suit then he said he was so sorry and he felt wrong and dirty but i didnt know what to say . hes keep on texting me asking if im ok and stuff this is a very wierd feeling cause i feel sorry for him which is wrong im confused please i need help

    Reply

    fizzahx - 31/05/2013

    • Hi Fizzahx

      Thank you for your post. What’s happened to you is horrific and we are truly sorry to hear how you have suffered. Being forced or pressured to have sex when you don’t want to is rape, it is a serious crime and it should be reported. It’s important to understand that what happened was not your fault; there was nothing you could have done to prevent it.

      We would urge you to find someone you trust to talk to - a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable talking to. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and trust. If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does, it’s really important to speak up about what happened. You have the right to be safe, and help and support is out there.

      If you’re under 18, you can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 in confidence to talk; nothing is too big or small for them. Alternatively, you can go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.

      You can also speak to the police about the assault. Most police forces have specially trained police officers who can help – if you’re unsure you might find it helpful to talk to an expert who can tell you more about the process and what to expect before you make the call to the police. You can find details of suitable organisations on the Need Help page here - http://thisisabuse.direct.gov.uk/need-help.

      If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger, please call the police on 999.

      This Is Abuse team 31/05/2013

  • gfuhuehu

    25/05/2013

    my boyfriend took me up to his bedroom, hes actually really tall about 6 foot and im abot 5 foot. Then he told me to sit on his bed so i did. Then he started to kiss me on the neck where i pushed him off me, he slapped me took my pants off took his shirt off and then he inserted his penis in to my vagina while his hand was covering my moutth as this was the first time for me it really hurt but this was rape

    Reply

    gfuhuehu - 25/05/2013

    • Hi there

      Thank you for your post. What’s happened to you is horrific and we are truly sorry to hear how you have suffered. Being forced or pressured to have sex when you don’t want to is rape, it is a serious crime and it should be reported. It’s important to understand that what happened was not your fault; there was nothing you could have done to prevent it.

      We would urge you to find someone you trust to talk to - a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable talking to. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and trust. If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does, it’s really important to speak up about what happened. You have the right to be safe, and help and support is out there.

      If you’re under 18, you can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 in confidence to talk; nothing is too big or small for them. Alternatively, you can go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.

      If you’re over 18, you can call the National Freephone Rape Crisis Helpline in confidence to talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999, 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm.

      You can also speak to the police about the assault. Most police forces have specially trained police officers who can help – if you’re unsure you might find it helpful to talk to an expert who can tell you more about the process and what to expect before you make the call to the police. You can find details of suitable organisations on the Need Help page here - http://thisisabuse.direct.gov.uk/need-help.
      If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger, please call the police on 999.

      This Is Abuse team 28/05/2013

  • help me please fizz

    11/05/2013

    my boyfriend slapped me and hit me beat me up yesterday because he wanted to have sex but iwas only 15 so we were kissing when i pushed him off me and told him i wasnt ready ! then he slapped me then i hit him back for my own good he got so mad he hit me in the eye out one leg on one side and out the ohter on on the other side pinned me down to the ground and started to forcingly started to kiss my neck with his tounge and he bit my neck soo hard it started to bleed he then took his top off i screamed and tried to take him off me but he was too strong he then ripped my dress and raped me he got off me and kicked me in the stomach i couldnt belive it i felt like i had woken up from the dead i was alone in the corner crying loudly then he put his t shirt back on and told me to shutup and told me that it was gonna happen anyways i just froze after like and hour he came to me and told me he was sorry i didnt say anything he told me to decide if i forgive him in school tomarrow i dont know wat to do plzz ur the only people that can help

    Reply

    help me please fizz - 11/05/2013

    • Hi

      First of all Hun I'm so so sorry to read your post.

      This is a very traumatic experience and no amount of words can make it better.

      You have to go the police. Is there family you can turn to?

      There are also victim support groups to help you.

      Your area will have there own. I have only just read your post and please please reply if you wanna talk to someone who is concerned for your safety.

      Stay safe and you have to keep away from this boy. He is not a good person.

      ;( so sad

      Help - 19/05/2013

    • Dear Fizz

      What’s happened to you is horrific and we are truly sorry to hear how you have suffered. Being forced or pressured to have sex when you don’t want to is rape, it is a serious crime and it should be reported. It’s important to understand that what happened was not your fault; there was nothing you could have done to prevent it.

      We would urge you to find someone you trust to talk to - a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable talking to. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and trust. If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does, it’s really important to speak up about what happened. You have the right to be safe, and help and support is out there.

      If you’re under 18, you can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 in confidence to talk; nothing is too big or small for them. Alternatively, you can go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.

      If you’re over 18, you can call the National Freephone Rape Crisis Helpline in confidence to talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999, 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm.

      You can also speak to the police about the assault. Most police forces have specially trained police officers who can help – if you’re unsure you might find it helpful to talk to an expert who can tell you more about the process and what to expect before you make the call to the police. You can find details of suitable organisations on the Need Help page here - http://thisisabuse.direct.gov.uk/need-help.

      If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger, please call the police on 999.

      This Is Abuse team 13/05/2013

  • fizzora

    29/04/2013

    i have a big brother i am 14 my big brother is 19 he has all his friends come at his house saturday nights once my brother had gone out and i was home alone i knew they were going to come so i opened the door and they just barged in the house they were drunk i told them that my brother wasnt inside they said were not here for him were here for you i got really scared his friend was walking towards me i knew wat they were trying to do so i ran upstairs they all followed me he grabbed my leg i fell on the floor banged my head he held me down i was crying begging him to get off he out his hand over my mouth screamed at me told me to shut up he kept going after he was done i kept still on the floor he threatened me if i had said anything to anyone they would kill me my brother came home and saw me on the floor i kept quite he started to cry wen he saw the bruises i didnnt say anything

    Reply

    fizzora - 29/04/2013

    • Dear Fizzora

      Thank you for your post. What’s happened to you is horrific and we are truly sorry to hear how you have suffered. Being forced or pressured to have sex when you don’t want to is rape, it is a serious crime and it should be reported. It’s important to understand that what happened was not your fault; there was nothing you could have done to prevent it.

      We would urge you to find someone you trust to talk to - a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable talking to. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and trust. If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does, it’s really important to speak up about what happened. You have the right to be safe, and help and support is out there.

      If you’re under 18, you can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 in confidence to talk; nothing is too big or small for them. Alternatively, you can go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.

      You can also speak to the police about the assault. Most police forces have specially trained police officers who can help – if you’re unsure you might find it helpful to talk to an expert who can tell you more about the process and what to expect before you make the call to the police. You can find details of suitable organisations on the Need Help page here - http://thisisabuse.direct.gov.uk/need-help.

      If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger, please call the police on 999.

      This Is Abuse team 13/05/2013

  • farhizza

    28/04/2013

    i was homealone and my boyfriends friends just barged in to my house i trusted them a lot they were acting all crazy theyre were 3 of them they told me to take a seat i asked them what are you doing here then one was touching my leg i told him to get off me because he was leaning on top off me then another pulled my hair made me stand up and told me to shutup he ripped my trousers and sllaped me until i fell to the ground the mark got on top of me and kissed me on the neck i told him to get of mee but then the third threatened me with a knife i cried they were laughing while one was raping me then i felt frozen they all had a go at me they beat me up afterwards while i was naked bruises and all sorts everywhere my boyfriend came over i just put a dress on then opened the door he told me wat happened i didnt say anything i didnt tell him anything i told him that i got hurt outside he will never know my parents were worried wen they came back home i told them the same they tols me to have a rest or go to sleep i couldnt all noght long crying and crying tommarow is school and they will be there again ! please can you help i hope i get a reply x

    Reply

    farhizza - 28/04/2013

    • Dear Farhizza

      Thank you for your post. What’s happened to you is horrific and we are truly sorry to hear how you have suffered. Being forced or pressured to have sex when you don’t want to is rape, it is a serious crime and it should be reported. It’s important to understand that what happened was not your fault; there was nothing you could have done to prevent it.

      We would urge you to find someone you trust to talk to - a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable talking to. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and trust. If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does, it’s really important to speak up about what happened. You have the right to be safe, and help and support is out there.

      If you’re under 18, you can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 in confidence to talk; nothing is too big or small for them. Alternatively, you can go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.

      If you’re over 18, you can call the National Freephone Rape Crisis Helpline in confidence to talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999, 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm.

      You can also speak to the police about the assault. Most police forces have specially trained police officers who can help – if you’re unsure you might find it helpful to talk to an expert who can tell you more about the process and what to expect before you make the call to the police. You can find details of suitable organisations on the Need Help page here - http://thisisabuse.direct.gov.uk/need-help.

      If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger, please call the police on 999.

      This Is Abuse team 13/05/2013

  • universitystudent

    22/04/2013

    I was on holiday with a large group of friends, and my friend and I allowed someone we believed was a close friend in our bed. My friend and I had both been drinking and our other friend hadn't. We've always been close, so I felt comfortable having him stay in my bed, he got close and I didn't think anything of it, however he started to touch me, and I didn't respond because I was terrified. He started talking in my ear, and breathing on my neck and I still didn't respond and he continued to touch me. I haven't really told anyone and being around him terrifies me, I've confronted him but he doesn't really seem to care. I'm just not sure what to do, and a couple of other girls I know are nervous around him. I can't report him, because I'm scared, I'm thinking of confronting him and telling him not to go near my other friends, but I'm scared that'll mean he'll come back to me...

    Reply

    universitystudent - 22/04/2013

    • Hi universitystudent,

      Thanks for your message.

      If you or your friends are being forced to take part in sexual activity that you don’t feel comfortable with, that is totally unacceptable, no one should be put you in that position.

      Examples of sexual abuse or assault can include being touched in a sexual way that makes you feel uncomfortable or frightened (this can be through clothes or not), being forced to watch others engage in sexual activity, being pressured to send naked pictures of yourself, sexting and being made to stimulate yourself or others.

      We would always encourage you to try and find someone you trust to talk to. It could be a tutor, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable talking to. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and trust. And if they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. You have the right to be safe and happy, and help and support is out there.

      You can also call the National Freephone Rape Crisis Helpline to talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999, 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm. They offer counselling and support for women who have experienced any form of sexual violence, not just rape.

      This Is Abuse team 23/04/2013

  • Kizzy

    18/04/2013

    There is this kid and on day me and my best friend we're playing out side in school. And we're only in sixth grade he kept on saying he was going to rape he me and her ran away from him he stuck his foot on her part. And she fell and he was unbutting his pants and didn't pull of her pants but he got on top of her. What sould I do next time plz help

    Reply

    Kizzy - 18/04/2013

    • Hi Kizzy,

      Thanks for your message.

      What that boy is doing and saying is really horrible and nasty, he should not be behaving like that, it's wrong. Please understand that what he's doing isn't your fault or your friend's fault.

      It's really important you tell your mum, dad, a teacher or another adult you trust about what this boy is doing. And if they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. You don't have to put up with the boy's behaviour.

      You can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem, nothing is too big or small for them. They won’t judge you; they will listen and help you. Or alternatively you can go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.

      Please make sure you speak to an adult about this.

      This Is Abuse team 19/04/2013

  • luke

    11/04/2013

    abit sexiest no all boys do this girls have done this not happy

    Reply

    luke - 11/04/2013

    • Hi Luke,

      Thanks for your feedback; we are sorry that you feel like this about the campaign.

      We are aware that anyone can be a victim of abuse whether they are female, male, gay or straight, and we are also aware that most teenage boys have normal and healthy relationships. However, in abusive relationships the statistics show that it is usually the male in the relationship that is the abuser and the female the victim and therefore it is important for the campaign to reflect this.

      Our objective is to help both boys and girls spot the signs of abuse in relationships and raise awareness of what is and isn’t acceptable behaviour, and although we depict a female victim in the advert, the messages are relevant for both boys and girls whether they are victims or abusers.

      We have provided advice and information on the website which points all victims to the help they need - http://thisisabuse.direct.gov.uk/need-help - including specific help for male victims of violence and abuse through Respect and Survivors UK. The site is also a forum where young people can pose questions and discuss the issue with their peers and experts in the field.

      We also work with partners such as the Dudley Safe and Sound partnership who have produced videos about male victims of abuse and those in gay relationships, which you can view by clicking on this link. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qt-U2ue-QmU. We have produced a video in partnership with Broken Rainbow which is intended to provide advice and signpost help for LGBT victims of domestic violence: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3U0ZJFdxCtg&list=UU697e0rGEZK8tO-qmFN6kag&index=2&feature=plcp.

      This Is Abuse team 12/04/2013

  • vunerable

    11/04/2013

    Hi, um I really need your help. I'm 16 and my bf is nearly 22, we've had sex together a lot but a few nights ago we went to party and he got drunk but I didn't, he took me upstairs into a room and pulled my pants down, I told him to stop and get off me because it was starting to hurt as he is so much bigger and I've always been small for my age, but he wouldn't get off, then he 'did it' with me and we went home. The next day I didn't say anything but then we saw this abuse advert from your campaigne about zoe at the party advert on the tv, I just looked at him because it was obvious that what had happened to zoe happened to me by him, my bf pressed me into the wall and said that the advert was just advertising 'rough sex' and that's all we did, I told him that it was about abuse and he said, no its not, its just about boys having rough sex and its no big deal. I left it at that but I feel very unsettled, what exactly is 'rough sex'? Is it legal? Do many people do it with their bf? And is it a form of abuse? :( please help me xxx

    Reply

    vunerable - 11/04/2013

    • Hi vunerable,

      Thanks so much for posting.

      Your boyfriend is wrong. Rape is not rough sex - rape is when a man forces his penis into the mouth, anus or vagina of another person when that person doesn't want him to do so; the law calls this 'without consent'. Rape is a crime and should be reported.

      It does not matter if you are in a relationship with someone or if they are a stranger. When someone forces or pressures you to have sex when you don't want to, it means you are not consenting and it is rape. It also does not matter if you start out by saying yes and then change your mind, or if you feel like you have 'given in'. It is also never OK to make someone feel bad if they don't want to have sex as this is a form of emotional abuse. Please understand that what happened was not your fault, there was nothing you could have done to prevent it.

      Please try and find someone you trust to talk to about what happened. It could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable talking to. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and trust. If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. You have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.

      You can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem. No problem is too big or small for them. Alternatively, you can go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.

      You can also speak to the police. Most police forces have specially trained police officers to help people who have been raped or sexually assaulted. If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger, call the police on 999.

      You can find out more about rape and sexual assault here: http://thisisabuse.direct.gov.uk/worried-about-abuse/view/rape-sexual-assult

      This Is Abuse team 11/04/2013

  • kimberley

    10/04/2013

    i had a boyfriend i was 15 he was 17 it was his birthday party it was a blast then after that i was at his house he knew that i never thought about sex and never wanted it we came upstairs and he showed me his bed he was drunk he started to kiss me i knew what he was tryin to do so i pushed him off and ran he came after me and grabbed my hair pinned me down on the bed and bit me on the neck he didnt stop he beat me upthen he told me he was srry i just cried in the corner then he told me to quit cryin i cried louder i got on his nerves he picked me up threw me o the bed and rippe my dress he told me DO YOU LIKE THAT i was just cryin he got on top of me he put his hand over my mouth and told me to shutup i just stayed silent but i was cryin he pinned me down then took his top off and start kissin me everywhere then he raped me after he was done he said that he was sorry and he started to hug me i i was crawled up on the floor crying he tol me to where his clothes so i did he dropped me off home and told my mum that i got tooo drunk And that my dress was all wet my mom told me to ly dwn so i did I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO HE HAUNTS ME

    Reply

    kimberley - 10/04/2013

    • hey look kimberley u deseve better u need to tell someone you trust look baby you gott to do somethin about him babes i wish the best for you hunny

      becca - 10/04/2013

    • Hi kimberley,

      Thanks for contacting us.

      We are really very sorry to hear what happened at the party. Physical assault and rape are crimes, please understand that what happened was not your fault, there was nothing you could have done to prevent this.

      We would urge you to try and find someone you trust to talk to, if you don't feel comfortable opening up to your mum, please talk to a teacher, or another relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable talking to. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and trust. If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does, it’s important to speak up about what happened. You have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.

      If you’re still under 18, you can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem, nothing is too big or small for them. They won't judge, they will listen, support and advise you. Alternatively, you can go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards. If you’re over 18 now, you can call the National Freephone Rape Crisis Helpline to talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999, 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm.

      You can also speak to the police, most police forces have specially trained police officers who can help. If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger, call the police on 999.

      This Is Abuse team 10/04/2013

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