This is ABUSE

Some Guy

11/04/2012

Hello
I know from reading a few pages of comments that this is not the first comment with regards to what i wish to say. I am only commenting to re-iterate what other have said. I know that there are many many evil men out there who wouldn't think twice about raping and abusing a woman because of her physical inability to prevent it. I also know that these men are, at first glance hard to recognize, and even harder still to distinguish from normal men. But I would just like all the women who read this to know, that we are not all evil SOB's. Men who commit these acts are sadistic, abusive, miserable excuses for human beings, but we're not all like that. I don't have any figures or facts, but I know the majority of the men in this world, are good, kind honest people who wouldn't think twice about helping a woman in need. I'm just asking you, please, don't paint us all in the same picture! There are good guys out there, and I apologise on behalf of all the evil ones for their stupid, irresponsible behavior.

Reply

Some Guy - 11/04/2012

I think this is a really good point, and i feel for all those nice guys out there being discriminated but i think that most people who have commented havn't really meant to offend anyone or I hope and not to be sexist, really, but most people on here refer to rapists as men as it seems that men are the usual suspects, however i don't think they mean men as a whole but the kind of men that would do that. Good idea for mentioning it though, thanks.

Ellie - 13/04/2012

.....

11/04/2012

nothin has hapened to me but i am so ashamed of the boys who do such disgusting things ......... your website is a really good website ... thank u

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..... - 11/04/2012

Nat

11/04/2012

When I was 7, I was waiting for the bus to go back home from school... The school was really isolated, and I was the only girl there.. So 2 boys came around to me and started to touch me, and one of them sexually abused me.. I tried to stop them, but they were older than me.. I felt really bad at the time, never told my family, after that I felt the bruises on me. I felt really ashamed, always kept as a secret.

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Nat - 11/04/2012

Hello, I'm ever so sorry about this dreadful experience. This is horrid and nobody should be put through such a thing. Sexually Abusing is a crime so in a way is classed as rape as you did not want or ask for this to happen. You would be shy at the time and would be scared to tell anyone but you have to remember that none of this was your fault and nobody is going to get angry if you tell them. If this still affects you now I would suggest counseling maybe? Hope I Helped :)

Natalie - 18/04/2012

Oyue Pongan..

11/04/2012

Rape is consider a big sins. you can check in Mathew 5 : 27. "you have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery'. 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Or you can read Leviticus 15...peace..

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Oyue Pongan.. - 11/04/2012

I really don't see how religion comes into this,as the rules state, keep on topic and keep your god squad tosh out of it.

Atheist - 20/04/2012

emily o'shea

11/04/2012

when i was 12 a 19 year old boy came too my school and waited for me at the bottom of the drive, he dragged me into the back of the car with his mates and told me that i had too go with them or something bad would happen, i tried to get put but they locked the car i was really scared, he made his friends take me too his house when no one was in and he threw me on the bed , i tried too get up but he just pinned me down he raped me the only person i could tell at the time was my boyfriend but then i got scared whenever i saw him, i had too tell my best friend and she made me go some counciling sessions and they had too tell my dad because i was so young. i think that it is sick for people to rape others because they are just sick and twisted and people shouldnt be forced into doing things they dont want too :/

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emily o'shea - 11/04/2012

i really hope you get better from this trauma

John - - 11/04/2012

someone

10/04/2012

my and ex and me were trying to be friends, but he wanted more. last summer this situation used to happen and id be saying no, but he'd carry on and would alwyas refuse to take no for an answer. he was a lovely guy, but i didnt want anything to happen yet it always ended up happening dispite me always saying no. eventually i got a stronger back bone and said no more firmly but hed still take my top of and touch me when i didnt want him too, obviously as it was familiar it didnt feel like rape...but when i started standing up to him he just dropped me and we havent spoken in about 4 months since, watching this made me wonder about the situation and if what he did was rape in the summer or if i was jut weak and pathetic and needed more of a backbone.

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someone - 10/04/2012

Never think of yourself as weak or pathetic, it isn't your fault at all that he "raped/abused" or hurt you in any way. You obviously see the best in people which is a good thing which just turned out to be wrong in this case, which again isn't your fault. I think you were very brave to eventually stand up to him and you should be proud as a lot of people wouldn't do that, and i wouldn't blame them. But you did the right thing, honestly.

Ellie - 13/04/2012
you are not weak and pathetic dont put yourself down wat he did was disgusting and he should be ashamed of himself

bubbles - 12/04/2012

b

10/04/2012

when i was 18 this exact scenario happened ( drunk , house party i was saying no- he was calling me weird and "a let down" ) , i said i didnt want too but he carried on, untill i escaped and hid in another room in the house , but he found me and carried on dispite me (allbeit meekly) saying no all i remember is staring at the tapestry on the wall while it was happening crying silently and trying to get my phone from the end of the bed with my feet so i could text my sister to come and help, eventually i got it and text her and she came and screamed at him and told him to get dressed, get off and go home. we always joke about the situation, because the guy was someone id know for a while, and I really liked him, he did so many nice things for me it was just that one stupid drunk moment that made me feel worthless. for years ive blamed myself for not being firmer about saying no, and anyone ive told about has just laughed the situation off so ive been confused as to why it still bothers me sometimes...im not sure if it counts as rape because i wasnt firmer about saying no, and because he was a nice person . but ever since then ive had issues with letting people in, ive devloped severe OCD and even though it was 4 years ago now Its still hevay on my mind and when i saw this it was the firs thing i thought of . I m not sure what to make of this all really, if im just being an idiot or what.

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b - 10/04/2012

Hey B,
It still counts as rape if you didn't fully consent to it. Don't keep it in and those who laugh need to look themselves in the mirror. A drunk mistake is still a mistake. Keep your head up

Ness - 11/04/2012

Carlos Stein

10/04/2012

This is a topic which needs bringing to the surface. Hopefully the video campaign should get the message through to the majority of young men in this age group. I would like you to hear a moving song which I wrote after my friend had her drink spiked: http://soundcloud.com/unclestein/radical-romance-beyond-radio

Carlos Stein

Reply

Carlos Stein - 10/04/2012

mystery

10/04/2012

When i was younger i was laid in bed with my eyes closed trying to get to sleep and someone came into my room, there was a lot of touching, i was so scared i didn't move. it happened a few times. every since i've always been nervous to do anything even if i wanted to. The only person i trust is my boyfriend who i've been with for a year and i still sometimes get nervous. Is this normal for somone in my situation and is there anyway to get over it?

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mystery - 10/04/2012

Hi... i only whanted to know did u see who it was in ur room or u were just too scared to open ur eyes?:( If u saw him was he someone u knew?

Brenda - 11/04/2012
Hi, mystery
the way you are feeling now is normal after what happened to you. What happened to you can make you question who you trust and make you nervous. Whilst what happened to you, perhaps will always be with you, and perhaps you won't get over it, with time things will get easier. I think with the right help and support, you can get through this and start to come to terms with what happened. You say that the only person you trust is your boyfriend. Perhaps you could talk to him about it and how it is effecting you. If you dont feel comfortable talking to him, perhaps you could seek some counselling. There are many organisations which can help you overcome any problems and cope with any problems as a result of this. You can ring rape crisis if you are experiencing difficulties coping with what happened to you or find a local rape crisis centre near you who can provide counselling services to help you with any difficulties. www.rapecrisis.org.uk. I think by speaking out about what happened to you is the first step in receiving support and is a very brave one as it can be very hard to talk about something like this.
Laura

laura - 11/04/2012
Hi Mystery

Thank you for posting and sharing your story on the forum.

Being forced or pressured to have sex or take part in sexual activity that you don’t feel comfortable with is unacceptable. Understand that this was not your fault and there was nothing you could have done to prevent this.
It is important that you try and find someone you trust to talk to. It could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable with. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and that you feel comfortable with.

If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. You have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.
You can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem or go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact ChildLine by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.
Alternatively you can call National Freephone Rape Helpline to talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm.
If you have been sexually assaulted you can also speak to the police. Most police forces have specially trained police officers who can help. You can contact the police immediately by dialling 999.

10/04/2012

lu

09/04/2012

yes

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lu - 09/04/2012

:(

09/04/2012

When i was 5 i was sexuelly abused by my cousin. He was 14 at the time and where i was so young i thought it was ok our family's would meet up every week and he would sexuelly touch me and he would make me do things. It went on for 5 years and when i was 10 i started realizing what was going on. Then everytime he would come round i would lock my self in the toilet and wouldnt come out. And when i was 11 he caught me coming out of the toilet and took me to my room and shut the door. He layed on top of me and was kissing me and was taking my trousers off i tried my best to get him off but he was too heavy and he raped me. He then got a girl friend when he was 20 and he stopped coming round. i was always scared he would pop up and rape me again. I was also scared to tell anyone. I ended up telling my best friend and she promised not to tell anyone but she wanted me to tell my parents and i wouldnt. i was too ashamed. My cousin then got dumped by her and then i was really scared. He then went to wales to try and et into a university ad i felt great that he was soo far away, But then he came back because he didnt get in. I am now terrified. I did tell my parents and they helped me loads and promised they would do everything to keep him away. The other day i saw him drive past my house twice and i was in the front garden etting in th car with my mum. I now always feel sick that he would show up and my doorstep because my grandad is ill and they were really close. I dont know what to do...

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:( - 09/04/2012

Hi : (

We are sorry to hear about this traumatic incident from your past. We think it is important that even though this may have happened some time ago, that you should try to speak to someone about this if you can.

Being forced or pressured to have sex when you don’t want to is rape and it is a crime. Understand that this was not your fault. There was nothing you could have done to prevent this.

If this has happened to you no matter how long ago please try and find someone you trust to talk to. It could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable with. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and that you feel comfortable with and trust.
If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. You have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.

You can call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem or go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact ChildLine by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.
Alternatively you can call the National Domestic Violence Helpline on 0808 2000 247 (run in partnership between Women’s Aid and Refuge) 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm.
You can also speak to the police. Most police forces have specially trained police officers to help people who have been raped or sexually assaulted. You can contact the police immediately by dialling 999.

10/04/2012

Sammy

09/04/2012

I was at a party, and this guy, about 2 years older than me, came up to me and made me feel really special. But then cause I was a little bit tispy, he took me upstairs and forced me to do stuff, I'm not sure if it was rape, becaucse we didn't actually do anything like sex......
But I don't k now if this was rape.

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Sammy - 09/04/2012

its still rape or at least sexual abuse. its wrong and you should tell somone about it

mystery - 15/04/2012

girl

09/04/2012

when i was very young (5-6) i was friends with older boys one by 1 year and the other by 3 and thay taught me about sex and we did dry humping and like proper penis to fanny thing.i had no idea at the time that this was really wrong and i think about it alot but don't know what to do because i feel ashamed and our parents are best friends.

im 12 know and go to boarding school and the boy a year older then me is there. were sorta friends but every time i talk or look at him i feel like crying. i hope both off them hav forgot about it but i dount know what to do

pls help
thanks xx

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girl - 09/04/2012

Hi Girl,

Thank you for being brave and posting your story.

Being forced or pressured to have sex or take part in sexual activity that you don’t feel comfortable with is unacceptable. Understand that this was not your fault. There was nothing you could have done to prevent this.
If you feel you can talk to someone about what has happened, it can help you. Try and find someone you trust to talk to. It could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable with. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and that you feel comfortable with.

If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. You have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.
You can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem or go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact ChildLine by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.
Alternatively you can call National Freephone Rape Helpline to talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm.
If you have been sexually assaulted you can also speak to the police. Most police forces have specially trained police officers who can help. You can contact the police immediately by dialling 999.

10/04/2012

Someone

09/04/2012

Im not sure if this is rape ? I was at a party and my boyfreind left me on my own for most of it, then his freind, Jamie, came and sat next to me and made me feel really special, when he asked me to come upstairs, I was totally in a daze with him that i agreed.

When I got up there, he closed the door behind him and pushed me down on the bed. He carried on and left me there. I was really ashamed, but Im not sure if it was or if Im just being overdramactic.

But the thing is it happened again, this time with my boyfreind. I told him and when he said he knew, I got really sngry because he was supposed to prorect me. But they he did the same thing X did. I was 16 at the time, im now 18. Ive never even really fancie another boy now knowing what their capable of doing.

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Someone - 09/04/2012

In reply to someone I konw bad things have happened to u but don't blame all boys for wat hapend u were just unlucky to pick the rotten apples from the tree but remember there are still red juicy apples to be found

Mushroom - 10/04/2012

anonymous

08/04/2012

even though these videos are touching, i think, you can't go to aparty unaware of the dangers and, me personally wouldn't go out with anyone in a gang :/

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anonymous - 08/04/2012

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