HAVE YOUR SAY
Tell us what you think about abuse in relationships
If you've got something you'd like to talk about regarding any kind of relationship abuse, come and Have Your Say on our message board.
The chances are you'll be able to talk with someone who's gone through similar experiences to your own.
Seen the ads? What do you think?
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Is controlling who a partner sees or speaks to abuse?
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Sex with someone who doesn't want to is rape.
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Sex with someone who doesn't want to is rape.
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Is putting pressure on someone to have sex abuse?
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Is bullying, controlling and putting a partner down abuse?
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Is insulting and threatening a partner with violence abuse?
TELL US WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT ABUSE IN RELATIONSHIPS
If you've got something to say about abuse in relationships then you'll need to accept our terms before you can take part - please see our rules on the right side of the page. You can then enter your comments below or under any video you want to talk about.
Megan
29/03/2013
I've been in an on/off relationship with the same guy since i was around 15, I'm 18 now. During one of our 'off' periods (around the time he'd longed me off to sleep with my best friend) his brother forced me to have sex with him. I constantly have this hanging over my head for starters. But my boyfriend is controlling, jealous, and i constantly have to tread on eggshells around him and it's becoming seriously tedious. He constantly tells me I'm stupid etc. Mentally abuses me, makes me feel bad about wanting to see my friends and family, that kind of stuff. I'm terrified his brother will tell him one day, and what makes it even worse is that his house is 4 doors away from mine, so it isn't like i can escape this relationship and never see him again.
he has never hit me.
Megan - 29/03/2013
ReplyHi Megan,
Thanks very much for your message.
We are so very sorry to hear you were raped by your boyfriend's brother; rape is a serious crime and you really should report it.
If your boyfriend is also subjecting you to emotional abuse, that's wrong and you shouldn't tolerate it, no one deserves to be treated that way, abuse in relationships is not normal and not ok, it can damage your confidence and your self-worth. Signs of emotional abuse can include someone putting you down, calling you nasty names, trying to control you and preventing you from doing certain things or making you do things you don’t want to do.
We would encourage you to try and find someone you trust to talk to about your experiences, what happened both in and out of your relationship, it’s really important you speak up about what you’ve been going through. Advice and support is out there, you have the right to be safe and there are people who can help you with your current relationship as well as the sexual assault.
Please call the 24 hour National Domestic Violence Freephone Helpline on 0808 2000 247 (run in partnership between Women’s Aid and Refuge) in confidence, they can give support and guidance on your controlling relationship. The National Freephone Rape Crisis Helpline will also provide you with support re the assault - talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999, 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm. You can of course also speak to the police. Most police forces have specially trained police officers who can help.
Tade
29/03/2013
I am a 41yo African woman.
We got married Jul 2006, things started going wrong in Oct 2006, a day after I relocated to the UK to join him.
My African husband is highly controlling and extremely dominating. We quarrel a lot. He has temper and get upset/angry easily & too frequently over trivial issues. He keeps malice & we donÃ
Tade - 29/03/2013
ReplyHi Tade,
Thanks for posting on the site. Although the campaign is aimed at 13-18 year olds there are many specialist support services available for adults.
If you’re looking for support or advice you can call the 24 hour National Domestic Violence Freephone Helpline on 0808 2000 247 (run in partnership between Women’s Aid and Refuge) or log-on to Women's Aid's Survivors' Message board: http://www.womensaid.org.uk/page.asp?section=0001000100080021§ionTitle=Survivors+Forum.
Lauren
29/03/2013
I'm currently in a relationship with a boy of my age :( at first everything was okay :( then he announced to me he had anger issues :( I didn't know weather he said it just so he could have an excuse or not.
He started to kick me an hit me :( I really didn't know what to do :( so I kept it shut :( about a month ago it happened again :( he kicked me :( grabbed my phone to look through it :'( and see If I'd been speaking to other boys! Even if I say hi to a boy he goes nuts :( he found a message from me to a boy of me saying something :( like hi :( and he went nuts :( he threatened to snap my phone :( he took my memory card out and went to snap it :( then when I tried getting it back he kicked me in the side :(
Now tonight we had another argument :( not face to face but he is threatening me :'( saying that no one will ever put up with me :( putting me down :'(
I found out also tonight that he'd kissed another girl :'( and he lied about it to me the other week :'( he keeps bringing up my dead brothers saying that they'd be ashamed of me :'( I need help :'(
Lauren - 29/03/2013
ReplyHi Lauren,
Thanks for posting.
Please understand that physical and emotional abuse is wrong and never okay. If you’re suffering from physical and emotional abuse, signs of which can include slapping, kicking, hitting or injuries as a result of violent behaviour or someone putting you down, calling you nasty names, trying to control you and preventing you from doing certain things or indeed making you do things you don’t want to do, it’s very important to try and find someone you trust to talk to.
It could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable talking to. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and trust.
If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does, you have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.
If you’re under 18, you can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem. No problem is too big or small for them. Alternatively, you can go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.
If you’re over 18, you can call the 24 hour National Domestic Violence Freephone Helpline on 0808 2000 247 (run in partnership between Women’s Aid and Refuge).
You can also hear from a survivor of domestic violence here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7a8fsrPEaYQ&list=UU697e0rGEZK8tO-qmFN6kag&index=3&feature=plcp
Georgia
29/03/2013
I have been with my bf for 2 years and i went through a stange where he badly abused me not so much as physicly but more mentally its finally stopped now where he got help and learned how to control it but im so depressed all the horrible words and thoughts go round in my head and i want to forget it all but its just dragging me down i feel worthless etc. How can i just forget
Georgia - 29/03/2013
ReplyHi Georgia, thanks for your post.
If you are feeling depressed or suicidal it’s very important you try and find someone you trust to talk to. It could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable talking to. There are people who understand, and who can help you deal with the problems you are going through.
If you’re under 18, you can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem. No problem is too big or small for them. Alternatively, you can go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.
The Samaritans can also help, take a look at their website at http://www.samaritans.org.uk/ or email jo@samaritans.co.uk. You can also call the Samaritans helpline on 08457 909090.
Take care.
Verity
28/03/2013
I'm currently in a relationship where my 'male friend' uses me for sex, controls when we meet, fixes me up with others from a dating site to keep me 'amused' and give me more experience but is endangering my safety I do it because he says I ought to and to please him.
He offers no emotional support at all and feeds on my weaknesses and vulnerability.
He has 8 other female friends I know of and visits them in turn. I am the only female friend that knows about the others and he gives me sexual details of his visits to them.
He is estranging me from my mother cause hes not aloud to stay overnight at the house and blames me for not being strong enough with her. I know I need to break this relationship but can't bring myself to do it even though its having a detrimental effect on my mental health.
Verity - 28/03/2013
ReplyHi Verity
Thanks for getting in touch.
It can be very hard to leave an abusive relationship - no matter what kind. It’s also very important to leave the relationship safely. There are many reasons why people don't feel they can leave.
Fear is a huge one, also uncertainty about what to do/who can help. Some people may not realise that they are being abused and not even be looking for help. A big factor in not leaving can simply be love. Love is such a powerful emotion it can overrule anything else.
We would urge you to think about completing a safety plan like this: http://www.respectnotfear.co.uk/keepingsafe/47-keeping-safe-in-an-unhealthy-relationship.html
melissa
27/03/2013
hi there,
from the age of 12-16 i was in a mentally abusive relationship. i've been out of the relationship for a year now and very glad!
however recently after to speaking to a colleague who went through the same thing at a similar age we have noticed that society have been brought up to believe abuse is just physical and rape only happens with strangers or when you have been forced and held down.
this is not true and i want peoples opinions on this to change so that people like me and my colleague are aware of it and get help.
still now when i tell people about what happened in the relationship, in my head i think "but it wasnt abuse because he never hit me" this is so wrong because it IS abuse and society NEEDS to change.
im not saying mental abuse is worse that physical abuse, it's not, but cuts and bruises heal, words do not.
melissa - 27/03/2013
ReplyRosie
27/03/2013
I'm 16 and have been with my boyfriend for 17 month. At the start it was brilliant but about 6 months into the relationship he pushed me up a gate cause of anger. It didn't hurt so I didn't think much of it. But he started to put me down, not let me talk to other boys and start arguments when i did. He got angry because a facebook friend put a smiley face on my wall.
Things got better for a while he started complimenting me and telling me that I'm gorgeous and pretty. Then we reached a year and we both started thinking about the future. But when i said i wanted to go to college he got angry cause he needed me to stay with him at sixth form. He got angry but i went to the cinema with my best friends because he 'needed me' to stay with him all day.
I love him but i need to get him out my life. When ever I dump him he told me he tried to cut his wrist and jump out of his window. So I always went back to him because I loved him but mostly because I wanted to keep him alive and keep me from guilt. I know he only wants me because he's transgender and scared he won't find anyone else. But i know he will. I just want to be free from him but dont want him to commit suicide.
Rosie - 27/03/2013
ReplyHi Rosie,
Thanks for your message.
Please understand that abuse is wrong and never okay, and emotional abuse can damage your confidence and your self-worth. Signs of this type of abuse can include someone putting you down, calling you nasty names, trying to control you and preventing you from doing certain things or making you do things you don’t want to do.
We would always encourage you to try and find someone you trust to talk to, it’s important you speak up about what you’ve been going through. This doesn’t have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and trust. If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does, you have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.
If you’re under 18, you can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem. No problem is too big or small for them. Alternatively, you can go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.
Axel
27/03/2013
Hi, I just wanted to ask: why are all the abusers in your adverts male? As someone who has suffered abuse (including rape) by a female it hurts that these ads are implying that only males inflict abuse, not to mention extremely sexist. If there's nothing telling boys and men that their abuse was wrong then they'll think it was ok or no big deal that they were abused.
It's not exactly on topic but I wanted to air my opinion. I would feel better for myself and other male victims of females if their was at least one advert saying female on male abuse is a crime, just like male on female abuse.
Axel - 27/03/2013
ReplyHello Axel,
Thanks for your feedback; we are sorry that you feel like this about the campaign.
We are aware that anyone can be a victim of abuse whether they are female, male, gay or straight, and we are also aware that most teenage boys have normal and healthy relationships. However, in abusive relationships the statistics show that it is usually the male in the relationship that is the abuser and the female the victim and therefore it is important for the campaign to reflect this.
Our objective is to help both boys and girls spot the signs of abuse in relationships and raise awareness of what is and isn’t acceptable behaviour, and although we depict a female victim in the advert, the messages are relevant for both boys and girls whether they are victims or abusers,
We have provided advice and information on the website which points all victims to the help they need - http://thisisabuse.direct.gov.uk/need-help - including specific help for male victims of violence and abuse through Respect and Survivors UK. The site is also a forum where young people can pose questions and discuss the issue with their peers and experts in the field.
We also work with partners such as the Dudley Safe and Sound partnership who have produced videos about male victims of abuse and those in gay relationships, which you can view by clicking on this link. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qt-U2ue-QmU
We have also produced a video in partnership with Broken rainbow which is intended to provide advice and signpost help for LGBT victims of domestic violence: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3U0ZJFdxCtg&list=UU697e0rGEZK8tO-qmFN6kag&index=2&feature=plcp
We welcome all views; it’s good that the campaign is prompting you to ask questions and seek more information.
Anon
27/03/2013
Hi everyone! I'm glad there's finally somewhere I can talk to people in my situations,instead of just keeping it in to myself.
I'm 18 and have been with my boyfriend for 3 years, everything was great at the start but I suppose that's how they all start, about a year into relationship he became obsessive.
I weren't allowed out with any friends, even when I go out with my family he moans, he tells me what I can and cannot wear and for a girl my age that's hard I want to look good! He doesn't let me go clubbing , he goes through my phone has passwords to every social networking account I have.
But when it comes to me asking for his I'm not allowed to no nor am I allowed to go on his phone. I recently found he had a secret twitter just full of convo between different girls is he the way he is with me cause he has a guilty conscience?
He causes arguments all the time I have to go to work give him a list of the boys that are working that day, everday he same when I go to college. I try changing him it don't help , he's hit me, grabbed me up against the wall by my throat and spat at me.
I can't tell no one cause they will hate him and won't understand why I'm still with him :'(
Anon - 27/03/2013
Replyjust tell them you like him and tell them that you should be a good mate
ohzam - 27/03/2013
HI Anon
Thanks for getting in touch.
Please understand that abuse is wrong and never okay. If you’re suffering from physical abuse, signs of which can include slapping, kicking, hitting or injuries as a result of violent behaviour, it’s very important to try and find someone you trust to talk to. It could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable talking to. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and trust.
If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does, you have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.
If you’re over 18, you can call the 24 hour National Domestic Violence Freephone Helpline on 0808 2000 247 (run in partnership between Women’s Aid and Refuge).
You can also hear from a survivor of domestic violence here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7a8fsrPEaYQ&list=UU697e0rGEZK8tO-qmFN6kag&index=3&feature=plcp
Paige
27/03/2013
I have been with my boyfriend for 6 months now and everything was fine at the start, however recently he has been telling me what I can do, What to wear, What music I can listen to, What I can eat and drink,
He even got mad when I died my hair and is making me change it or he won't speak to me. I haven't had sex with him yet as I don't feel like Im ready. Next week all my family are away for the night so he said he is coming over.
Im on my period tho so he is making me go the doctors to get an injection to stop it. I am really scared as I don't want to have sex just yet.
I have only told one friend about this and she has been really supportive but Im scared that he may rape me because a few weeks ago he came round when no one was home and striped me down an pined me against the wall he starting touching me but the only thing that stopped him going further was my neighbour needed his spare key for next door.
I am really scared as I don't want this to happen again!
Paige - 27/03/2013
ReplyHi Paige
Being forced or pressured to have sex or take part in sexual activity that you don’t feel comfortable with is totally unacceptable. Please understand that this was not your fault, there was nothing you could have done to prevent it.
If you are unsure of what is or isn’t classed as sexual abuse or assault, examples can include being touched in a sexual way that makes you feel uncomfortable or frightened (this can be through clothes or not), being forced to watch others engage in sexual activity, sexting and being made to stimulate yourself or others.
If you are ever put under pressure to have sex when you don’t want to, it’s important to try and find someone you trust to talk to. It could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable talking to. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and trust.
And if they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. You have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.
If you’re under 18, you can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem, nothing is too big or small for them. Alternatively, you can go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.
If you’re over 18, you can call the National Freephone Rape Crisis Helpline to talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999, 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm.
They offer counselling and support for women who have experienced any form of sexual violence, not just rape.
If you have been sexually assaulted you can also speak to the police. Most police forces have specially trained police officers who can help. If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger, call the police on 999.
scarlett
26/03/2013
I need your help please. There is this boy I am talking to on bbm and watsapp, he is 19 and I am 16, he has sent me videos and pictures of him doing things and asked for the same off me,
I've given him pics and videos because whenever I told him I didn't want to, he would always reply with something like 'do it' or 'do it now, or 'do it, you dirty girl' I felt very threatened and intimidated by him so I sent the pictures etc.
Now he wants me to meet him places and have sex but I don't want to, he keeps telling me all the things he is going to do to me and what he wants from me,
I am worried that if I don't do what he tells me then he will send the pics and videos of me to people, I know this isn't rape but is it abuse? Child pornography? Even though I'm 16? Please tell me what I should do xxx
scarlett - 26/03/2013
ReplyHI Scarlett
Thanks for getting in touch.
Being forced or pressured to have sex or take part in sexual activity that you don’t feel comfortable with is totally unacceptable. Please understand that this was not your fault, there was nothing you could have done to prevent it.
If you are unsure of what is or isn’t classed as sexual abuse or assault, examples can include being touched in a sexual way that makes you feel uncomfortable or frightened (this can be through clothes or not), being forced to watch others engage in sexual activity, sexting and being made to stimulate yourself or others.
If you are ever put under pressure to have sex when you don’t want to, it’s important to try and find someone you trust to talk to. It could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable talking to. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and trust.
And if they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. You have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.
If you’re under 18, you can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem, nothing is too big or small for them. Alternatively, you can go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.
If you have been sexually assaulted you can also speak to the police. Most police forces have specially trained police officers who can help. If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger, call the police on 999.
joseph
26/03/2013
Hi 6 months ago,i was in a relotioship. i was 12. My girl friend always wanted to snog.
She always got mad when i talked to another girl even my sister! We broke up after she cheated on me twice.
She started spreading rumers about me and that i was a prostertute (i'm not a prostertute) now every one from her school make fun of me and bully me.
It's not funny! Please help!
joseph - 26/03/2013
ReplyHI Joseph
We’re sorry to hear that you’re being bullied. Unfortunately, bullying can be quite common.
You’ve taken the first step by messaging us. What you need to do next is try and find someone you trust to talk to, even if you find this difficult to do. And if you have difficulty talking about your experiences directly, you could write it all down for someone you trust to read.
It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and trust. If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does, you have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.
If you’re under 18, you can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem. No problem is too big or small for them. Alternatively, you can go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.
You can also contact Beat Bullying on www.beatbullying.org. They provide advice to help young people who are being bullied either face to face or online.
brooke
25/03/2013
hi i would first like to say that it is not myself that is in an abusive relationship, but i am however worried for my best freind we have knowen each other for years and she has always been bubbly up for a luagh and a good day out, but over a year ago a new boy joined our school he seemed ok at first he was just quiet and secretive and made no attempt to talk to anybody, however he happend to be the stepbrother of one of my other mates so he started to come out with me and my freinds and started talking to the freind i am now worried about , they evetually started going out and at first i thought nothing of it i was happy for her. but just short of a month of them being together i noticed changes in my mate, she had stopped wearing makeup wheras before she would make herself up to look nice for any occasion, when i asked she told me the doctor had said due to skin problems she had to stop wearing it. the next incident occured when we went to the park on a hot day me and my freind walked there to meet with a few mates and her boyfreind as soon as we got there he sent her all the way back home again to change her top as he said it was too low and reveling, after that she never wore anything but jumpers or scarfes to cover up her chest. after about 4 months she got rid of facebook claiming her mom had told her it was getting in the way of her school work, but a few days before she deleted her account when i was round her house he turned up shouting at her for having to many male freinds on facebook he then started calling her a slag and a whore and demmanded to search through her messages so i knew she had deleted it becuase of him, even now she refuses to have her photo taken incase it ends up on facebook, but she still denies it has anything to do with her boyfreind. he always constantly rings her to check up on her even when she is in lessons, she now even skips lessons to meet up with him or dosnt even come to school at all and i wont hear of her for days, the one night i had to stay round hers due to my room being decorated i finally thought we would beable to have one night as mates without the boyfreind interfering but i was wrong, he persistantly phoned her up yelling at her saying had choosen me over him, he then started calling me various names, scince then none of the girls have stopped round at her house. most recently she broke down in tears and told me he had hit her and pushed her when they were arguing , but as soon as i told her we were going to get help she denied everything and made me look like a lier. another 6 months or so have passed and me and my freind have drifted i dont know what to do anymore me and the other girls have tried to make her see the light but she always lies and viciously defends everything he does, but i know his being abusive but i cant do anything if she denies everything can i? even now when we organize to go out the first thing she will ask is : is there any boys going? then if the answeres yes then she makes excuses for why she cant go or just dosnt turn up, the only parties she is allowed to is the ones he goes to and even then she is not allowed to dress up, do her makeup or drink he has just made her a diffrent person altogether i almost dont recongnize her now, he verbally abuses her that much that she actually now belives the things he is saying are true the once he even thretend to kill her and her family if she didnt do what he wanted yet she still claims to love him and constantly talks about settling down with him even though we are only 17-18. please help it just seems to me like he wants her all to himself and eventually she will push everyone away with her lies and isolate herself so she will only have him left.
brooke - 25/03/2013
ReplyHi brooke,
Many thanks for posting on the site.
Your friend’s relationship exhibits a lot of signs of emotional and physical abuse, they may need professional help and your encouragement and support to help to stop it. See here for more information on the signs, visit this page of the website - http://thisisabuse.direct.gov.uk/worried-about-abuse/view/spot-the-signs.
You need to keep telling your friend you are worried about them, that the behaviour her boyfriend is subjecting her to is not normal and certainly not ok. Let her know that the abuse is not her fault, it’s totally unacceptable for her to be treated like this, she shouldn't stand for it and help and support is available.
When you try to talk to her again, try to make her feel at ease as it takes courage to admit abuse. Please encourage her to talk to a trusted adult, and ask her to look at the Spot The Signs page / relationship checker to see if she can identify the behaviours for herself. You shouldn’t confront her boyfriend on your own and neither should your friend. If they decide to leave their relationship, it’s very important they do so safely. More information and advice can be found here - http://www.respectnotfear.co.uk/keepingsafe/59-difficult-to-leave.html. She can also call Refuge on 0808 2000 247 for further support.
If your friend wants to speak to someone in confidence encourage them to contact the 24 hour, National Domestic Violence Freephone Helpline on 0808 2000 247 or if they’re still under 18, they can speak to ChildLine on 0800 11 11 or visit www.childline.org.uk where they can contact ChildLine by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards. You can also speak to ChildLine about your concerns.
nobody
23/03/2013
I was only 14 when i first fell in love with my boyfriend. He was 14 aswell. We both were deaply in love and we were alwaya together.
Things started to get really bad. He was so in love with me that he started to be really obsessed. He use to stop me talking to boys talking to my friends even speaking to my friends in class. I wasnt aloud to touch or hug my friends. If i did he use to be so abusive. He use to grab me so hard on my cheek bones and grip me up from the neck on the wall. He use to always call me ugly and control what i wore and i wasnt allowed to wear make up. Yet he would call me ugly.
I used to become so sad and always crying. He use to go out with his friends and drink and smoke. He didnt come to my prom he didnt want me to go to prom but i did. Things got really bad. I would of done anythin for him i had lost my best friends my family didnt care as i didnt want them to care. He use to make me feel it was my fault. I believed it was. I finally got out. It was really hard i had nobody. I decides one day it was enough. I changed my number changed college.
The best thing I've ever done.
There is always a way out and always someone there. No matter how much you love him nobody deserves that.
I'm now 3 years later with a new guy who I love soo much and treats me right.
nobody - 23/03/2013
Replyhi
23/03/2013
i am not here to report abuse, however, simply to have my say.
About 4 years a go my mother and her partners relationship ended- it was a horrific day. It was my realisation of how my mother was being abused.
My father had punched her, thrown things at her, and on that day tried to push her down the stairs after attempting to set fire to the bed. My 11 year old self was in utter shock and all i could do was scream until my sister rang the police and till this day i have not seen him.
I never blamed my mom- although she had stayed in this relationship for 8 years. It shocks me to know that something so terrible could happen right beneath my nose and i couldn't see it; they were playing happy families with me.
What i want to say is to never blame the victim- people often ask why they stay but most people don't even realise they are in an abusive relationship- neither can they leave if they know; you become under a delusion and you are still madly in love with this person.
If you do happen to realise you are in an abusive relationship please make a stand- organisations such as this are so great and i thank them for offering such good support.
I'd just like to end with a point which has gotten to me for a while now and that is why aren't the signs of an abusive relationship taught in schools? I for one only know after watching a TED talk about it. I believe the education of this topic is lacking greatly and i'd like to thank this organisation for raising awareness as i do not think there is enough.
Abuse in a relationship is awful and no one should have to go through such a thing. Anyone who is in their right mind to abuse a partner likes to feel in power- take a stand and end your relationship because no matter how many times they lie they most likely will not stop. Stay safe and strong everyone.
hi - 23/03/2013
Reply