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This is ABUSE

Help uscall outabuse

HAVE YOUR SAY

Tell us what you think about abuse in relationships or ask a question to one of our trained advisors

If you've got something you'd like to talk about regarding any kind of relationship abuse, come and Have Your Say on our message board. And if you’re worried about anything to do with abuse, whether it’s in your own relationship or a friend’s, you can ask one of our trained experts for advice.

Have a read through the discussion boards, the chances are you'll be able to talk with someone who's gone through similar experiences to your own.

Seen the ads? What do you think?

  • Sex with someone who doesn't want to is rape

    [71 comments]

  • Abuse in relationships isn’t always physical

    [134 comments]

  • Would you recognise abuse if you saw it?

    [21 comments]

  • Emotional Abuse

    [72 comments]

  • Controlling Behaviour

    [5 comments]

  • SPOT THE SIGNS OF ABUSE IN A FRIEND’S RELATIONSHIP

    [10 comments]

  • Mandem On The Wall

    A trio of friends meet at the place they love to jam - The Wall. Tinie Winie has a new girlfriend and with advice from the Mandem crew learns how to treat her with respect. The trouble is he gets it wrong and ends up becoming someone he doesn't want to be....

    [134 comments]

  • Twist and Pulse

    Twist and Pulse visit George Mitchell school to perform their latest dance routine for the pupils and talk to them to see if they are in the know about relationships.

    [0 comments]

  • Charlie McDonnell

    Watch Charlie McDonnell’s video about Sex, and most importantly, about Consent.

    [0 comments]

  • Bedroom

    Is controlling who a partner sees or speaks to abuse?

    [156 comments]

  • Liam & Beth - Recognise abuse when you see it

    [8 comments]

  • Ryan & Jade - Recognise abuse when you see it

    [5 comments]

  • Sam & Alice

    [12 comments]

  • If you could see yourself

    Sex with someone who doesn't want to is rape.

    [538 comments]

  • Zoe's story

    Sex with someone who doesn't want to is rape.

    [538 comments]

  • Party

    Is putting pressure on someone to have sex abuse?

    [100 comments]

  • School

    Is bullying, controlling and putting a partner down abuse?

    [79 comments]

  • Takeaway

    Is insulting and threatening a partner with violence abuse?

    [169 comments]

TELL US WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT ABUSE IN RELATIONSHIPS

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Results: 75 - 90 of 2036

  • Clara

    15/03/2014

    I've been with my boyfriend for about 4 months now, but i've known him for a little over a year. We've had sex before and it was good but it starts to hurt after a while, and i'll still hurt the next day, even if i dont want to and tell him i don't he'll still try to have sex with me. He tries to rip my clothes off of me but i just push him off and put them back on. He even once tried it when it was my time off the month!? But i wouldn't let him. I stayed at his house last night and when all of his family went to sleep he got on top of me and tried to have sex with me, i told him that i didn't want to but he wouldn't stop trying, he kept trying to move my shorts and underwear out of the way and kept trying to force himself into me. I begged him to stop repeatedly but he wouldn't listen, he had put his whole weight on me and was holding my hands down above me. This went on for about 45 minutes and i was holding back my tears, it was pitch black so we couldn't see anything. He eventually stopped and i heard him ask himself what he was doing, he lay next to me and he started crying and kept appologising. But 25 mins later he tried again, but i wouldn't let him, he stopped and i rolled away from him and waited till i heard him fall asleep before i did because i was worried in case he tried again, i wanted to run out the house but didnt want to wake him. I don't know what to do, im scared to see him again but i work with him, i cant avoid him. He's always been a bit rough and tried putting his hand down my pants even when i dont want him to. I love him, but i dont think i'll be able to look at him in the same way, i'll never forget it.

    Clara - 15/03/2014

    Reply
    • Dear Clara,

      I am glad that you decided to get in touch. What your boyfriend has been doing is really not ok and sounds upsetting and frightening. From what you said it seems you were already worried about him being rough with you and not listening when you said no but that things are now worse. None of what he has done is your fault. Sexual contact without consent is abusive and a criminal offence.

      I think it would be a really good idea for you to talk to someone about what has been happening. Rape Crisis have a helpline 0808 802 9999 that you could call. Alternatively you could call Women’s Aid on 0808 2000 247.

      I really hope you decide to talk it through with someone.

      Take Care,

      Brian

      This is Abuse team 18/03/2014

  • Chlo

    15/03/2014

    I was in a relationship last week and my boyfriend asked me to go round his and chill so I went round and we was listening to music and then he was asking me to do all these things with him, he tried to take my top of etc so I said no but he kept asking then when I left his I got told that when I left he met up with a girl and done stuff with her then later that night he text me saying it's over e wants a sexual relationship etc. I went to school the next day and my friend told me that the stuff he did with that girl was true. This is a boy who before we was going out was asking me to send pictures to him. Everyone knows I'm not with him but when I was at netball my "best" friend asked the etcher where our hoodies were then my friend turns around and goes YOUR . Has got them so I was so angry I blew at her but I didn't mean to. I want to speak to him and ask him if it's true what he did but I can't bring myself to do it I see him at school and my heart just sinks I can't deal with it. I don't know

    Chlo - 15/03/2014

    Reply
    • Dear Chlo,

      Thanks for your post. I am glad you are not in this relationship anymore. I am really sorry to hear that he tried to force sexual activity with you even when you had said no, it really was not ok for him to keep trying even though you had said no. If you want to talk about this with someone you can either contact one of our advisors on live chat between 5pm and 7pm on week nights, or speak with a counsellor at Childline on 0800 1111.

      It sounds as though you are hurt and angry about what has happened. Is there an adult that you trust that you can talk to about it? A teacher or perhaps one of your parents? Talking with someone can really help to work through how you are feeling now.

      Take Care,

      Brian

      This is Abuse team 18/03/2014

  • Jayne

    15/03/2014

    Hi, three years ago when I was 15 I started talking to this boy, he was 18. he moved into a house near me. Me and my friends started talking to him and we all became friends. Getting to the point, there was this one day it was just me and him on our own at his house, we were just listening to music and playing games on our phones. Then he grabbed my arm and tried to pull me into his room. I kept saying no I don't want to but he was much stronger than me and pulled me in. I was crying saying stop but he wouldn't listen. He then got on top of me so I couldn't get away. He was putting his hands all over me and shining the torch of his phone in my face laughing at me. He was doing more stuff like pulling my hair and pinching my arms, he was deliberately trying to make me cry. It went on for about 15 minutes then I managed to push him off me and run out. I had to go to a field near my house because I couldn't go home in that state. But now I'm 18 and just can't forget what happened. I've never had a boyfriend since that because I think I'm just too scared of what might happen.

    Jayne - 15/03/2014

    Reply
    • Hi Jayne,

      Thanks for coming forward to talk about your experience. It sounds like it was a really horrible ordeal for you.

      Nobody has the right to touch you in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable, and what he did was sexual assault and if you wanted to report this to the police then you could.

      However, from what you have said it seems that what you need most at the moment is some form of emotional support. I would recommend speaking to Rape Crisis to see if there are any counselling services in your area that will be able to assist you with support. Their number is 0808 802 9999.

      If you would like to talk to us more about what happened then we are running Live Chat Monday to Friday 5pm until 7pm on the website.

      Take care,

      Luke

      This is Abuse team - 17/03/2014

  • luc

    15/03/2014

    The latest advert on television are just inappropriate and ineffective

    luc - 15/03/2014

    Reply
    • Hi Luc,

      Thanks for your comment. I'm sorry that you feel like that, we have had a huge positive response from the ads. However, please feel free to share why you do not think they are helpful or appropriate.

      Thanks,

      Luke

      This is Abuse team - 16/03/2014

  • Sarah

    14/03/2014

    I need some help ! My 16 year old son is out of control ! He has no resect for anyone ! Everyone in the house is scared of him ! From the minute he wakes up he is shouting at me , telling me how useless i am and threating me ! My parter is on the verge of leaving as he cant cope with his behaver anymore ! I am sad to say that any love i had for my child has now gone ! I dont know wot to do ! We do everything for our son only nothing is ever good enought ! Please help !!!

    Sarah - 14/03/2014

    Reply
    • Hi Sarah,

      Thanks for coming forward to talk about this. It must be really tough for you and your partner.

      It might be helpful for you to have a chat with a professional about what is going on, I would recommend Parentline Plus on 0808 800 2222, or the Respect Phoneline on 0808 802 4040.

      Unfortunately, nobody is going to be able to make your son change the way he is behaving, he has to choose to do that himself, and it doesn't sound like he is willing to do that at the moment.

      If you ever feel at risk then it is best that you call the Police, I know this can be difficult, but the law will offer you protection.

      Take care,

      Luke

      This is Abuse team - 16/03/2014

  • By The Way

    14/03/2014

    "Rape is when a male forces his penis..." This is incorrect. Women can rape people too, it's just less likely and almost never talked about. I think that you should change this to be more general and accurate. Thank you for your time.

    By The Way - 14/03/2014

    Reply
    • Hi,

      Thanks for your post. The information you gave is incorrect. Under UK law rape is penetration of the mouth, anus or vagina with a penis. UK law does not recognise that women can rape, the law in which women perform sexual acts is classed as sexual assault.

      Thanks,

      Luke

      This is Abuse team - 16/03/2014

  • Amelia

    14/03/2014

    I was in an abusive relationship with my boyfriend of 3 years, He was always controlling and angry, he would stop me seeing people including my family, take my phone, monitor my texts and facebook account. He once smashed my laptop up with a golf club. On one occasion at 11 weeks pregnant he punched my tummy and hit me in the head with a steel toe capped boot and at this point i lift him and reported the incident. Because I came out about the incident social services are involved with our baby, and I did the 12 week freedom programme at WISH. I got a court injunction however it is now removed and we are trying to make our relationship work. We have now been together again for 2 months, I am thirty weeks pregnant with the same baby and he does seem to have changed, he is thoughtful, kind and doesn't show any of the signs of being abusive that he did last time. I absolutely adore this guy, I love him with all my heart but the only thing that bothers me is he still wont apologise for all he put me through, he wont accept it at all and makes me feel stupid and abit like im not deserving of an apology... should i leave it be, he is behaving correctly now maybe he just wants to have his pride and leave his past in the past or hes in denial.. but something inside me says what about my pride, what about all ive been through for 3 years and the fact that i still love you and stand by you? should i really be so fixated on getting an apology from him or should i just move on like he has and make the most of his new nice side?

    Amelia - 14/03/2014

    Reply
    • I suggest you keep your mind open to both possibilities - maybe your boyfriend wants to make amends but is too proud to admit his mistake. Alternatively he hasn't changed. For the second option please google "hovering" which relates to emotional abuse and make sure you keep a tab on anything you can recognise here so that you are not taken by shock in the end.

      Yasminemile - 17/03/2014

    • Hi Amelia,

      Thanks for getting in touch. It sounds like you're in a difficult situation.

      Unfortunately you cannot make him do something, it has to be his choice, and it sounds like he is not willing to apologise. It sounds like he put you through a lot. Has he thought about addressing his behaviour? If so, he might want to contact Respect on 0808 802 4040.

      Have you thought about what you will do if his behaviour does change? It might be worth visiting www.womensaid.org.uk and taking a look at some of the safety planning information in the Survivor's Handbook. It's important to note that violence often increases after the birth of a child.

      Take care,

      Luke

      This is Abuse team - 16/03/2014

  • livvy

    14/03/2014

    I have been with my boyfriend for 7 months now and he is aware that I was sexually assaulted in my past and as a result sometimes I dont want to have sex yet I feel I cant say no because saying no makes me feel vulnerable and scared because of past events. My boyfriend knows that I have this fear of saying no and he also knows i have had sex with him before when i didnt want to. He claims he feels guilty for this but then he tries to have sex with me even though he knows I dont want to by my body language and he tries repeatedly so sometimes we have sex even though i didnt want to and he knew i didnt and i didnt give consent but because i havent actually spoken the word no I dont know if his behavior is excusable or not.

    livvy - 14/03/2014

    Reply
    • Dear Livvy,

      Thank you for your message. I’m pleased you have posted here, it’s brave of you to share what is happening in your relationship. What you boyfriend is doing is not excusable and is against the law. I can hear how hard you are finding this situation. There is support you can access to help you with this.

      From your message it sounds like your partner is raping you, as he is having sex with you when he knows you don’t consent. You have already experienced sexual assault in the past and you have discussed this with your boyfriend. You have also told him that you do not want to have sex. He is aware that you are not consenting and he is aware of your feelings of vulnerability, but has not respected them. You do not have to say no to not consent to sex, body language can be enough. You can look on this website for more information about consent and rape.

      http://www.respectnotfear.co.uk/consentandconsequences/123-sex-consent-.html

      http://www.rapecrisis.org.uk/rapeampsexualviolence2.php

      Do you know anyone you could talk to about this, friends, family or a trusted adult? If you don’t feel able to talk to anyone you know? If not I would encourage you to call Rape Crisis to talk about this, they are an organisation who specialise in working with women and girls who have suffered sexual violence and trauma. They can talk with you in a confidential and non-judgemental setting. You can reach them on 0808 802 (12 –2.30 & 7 – 9.30 everyday). You may also want to call the national domestic abuse helpline on 0808 2000 2/47 and discuss your relationship with them, as you are being sexually abused by your boyfriend.

      We have live chat 5-7 weeknights if you would like to talk about this more with one of our advisors.

      Take care,

      Becca

      This is Abuse team 16/03/2014

  • Em

    14/03/2014

    Just to everyone who is going through physical and mental abuse, im a survivor of many accounts of abuse as iv commented on here a few times before, be strong, its never ok to be treat like rubbish and abused by family, boyfriends or girlfriends, husbands or wives, chins up, you can all get through this as I have and many others I know, there is still hope, dont stay with an abusive partner just because your scared of them or even if you think its the right thing to do because you will always find help no matter where you go, in the most unlikely places, I was beaten, raped, mentally abused, punished for being me by alot of people, but remember to hold your head high because their is still hope for everyone and anyone, peace out x

    Em - 14/03/2014

    Reply
  • Kim

    14/03/2014

    I'm not sure if my relationship is abusive or not.
    I'm nearly 17 and my boyfriend is 16 and I've been with him for nearly 2 months now and at first it was great! I fell for him straight away and we were getting along awesomely! It's only a week or so ago that things started to go a bit wrong. He likes to know where I am going and who I'm with all the time I'm not with him and he tells me what I can and can't wear when I go out with him and even when I'm not with him. It's getting to the point now where I am unsure of what to say or do or wear ect just in case it upsets him and he has a go at me. We've been arguing a lot recently over little things like what I eat and stuff like that. He's never ever hit me and I believe he never will but I'm just not sure whether the other stuff he does is abuse or not. Please help?
    Thank you.
    Kim :(

    Kim - 14/03/2014

    Reply
    • Dear Kim,

      Thank you for your message. I’m pleased you have posted here, it’s brave of you to share what is happening in your relationship.

      Your boyfriend is being abusive. All the things you describe in your message are abuse. No one should make another person feel frightened of them or try to control what a person eats, wears or does. You deserve to be able to live your life freely without having to worry about your partner’s reaction to things. Domestic abuse is not just violence, it’s about control too and it sounds like your partner is being very controlling and verbally abusive.

      Do you know anyone you could talk to about this, friends, family or a trusted adult? If you don’t feel able to talk to anyone you know I would encourage you to call the 24 -hour domestic abuse helpline on 0808 2000 247. You can speak to them about how you are feeling and what options you could take next. You can also look on this website:

      http://www.respectnotfear.co.uk/relationship/

      We have a live chat 5-7 weeknights if you would like to talk about this more with one of our advisors.

      Take care,

      Becca

      This is Abuse team 16/03/2014

  • -

    14/03/2014

    Hi. I was in a sad excuse of a relationship for 2 years. At first I thought I was doing the right things to make the relationship work which was not the case and now I am left feeling so low with no confidence. Everything was fine for the first year then he turned into a control freak and I was constantly doing what he said because he made me feel like there was no one else and that was how I deserved to be treated. It turned really nasty at the end and I was constantly being called horrible names, shouted at for being late and being made to do things I didn't want to do and either having no choice or being forced to leave. He started to take pictures of me then threaten me with them but there was nothing I could do because he would get violent. I was just doing what I was told because I was scared, I knew I should of left sooner but the damage is done now and I don't want to feel like this anymore

    - - 14/03/2014

    Reply
    • Hello,

      Thank you for your message. I can hear that your confidence and self-esteem have been really affected by the abusive relationship you were in. You have done a strong thing by ending that relationship, it took massive courage when he was being so frightening.

      Do you know anyone you could talk to about this, friends, family, or someone else in your life? If you don’t feel able to talk to anyone you know I would encourage you to call the 24 -hour domestic abuse helpline on 0808 2000 247. You can speak to them about how you are feeling and what options you could take next. You can also look on this website: www.womensaid.org.uk for services in your area. From your message it sounds like your ex sexually abused you and violated your privacy by sharing photographs of you. I would encourage you to call Rape Crisis to talk about this, they are an organisation who specialise in working with women and girls who have suffered sexual violence and trauma. They can talk with you in a confidential and non-judgemental setting. You can reach them on 0808 802 (12 –2.30 & 7 – 9.30 everyday).

      It sounds like you need some support to help you recover from what you went through. Many people feel like you do after being in an abusive relationship, it’s a normal reaction. There is help out there for you to access, you deserve that support.

      We have a live chat 5-7 weeknights if you would like to talk about this more with one of our advisors.

      Take care,

      Becca

      This is Abuse team 16/03/2014

  • ShanLou

    14/03/2014

    Ive been with my boyfriend for nearly 9 months and for about 4 months hes decided to blaim me for everything, its my fault the washing hasnt been done and its my fault if theres washing up, i dont know if the way he speaks to me is classed as mental abuse. It doesnt help that i might be pregnant so dont really need the stress. He has in 3 occasions tried to push me out our flat and has reduced me to tears too many times. I dont know if he is just miserable or if he wants control as he constantly puts blaim on me and has kicked me til i was pushed off our bed, im not scared im just worried.

    ShanLou - 14/03/2014

    Reply
    • Dear ShanLou,

      Thank you for your message. I can hear how stressed the way your partner is treating you is making you feel, and how the fact you think you may be pregnant is adding to that. Your partner is being abusive and I’m pleased you have felt able to post here and seek support.

      Your partner is blaming you for things that are not your fault, pushing you, kicking you and making speaking to you in ways that are making you upset. These are all types of abuse – the way you are being treated is not ok. The fact that you think you may be pregnant may be adding to your worries, as you may now be feeling like you have less option to leave the relationship if you are. Your partner is behaving on a controlling and abusive way to you and it’s understandable that you are worried. Domestic abuse can sometimes get worse when a woman is pregnant, so if you find out you are it might be a further reason to seek some support.

      Have you spoken to anyone on your life about this – friends or family? If you can’t speak to someone you know perhaps you can talk to the national helpline on 0808 2000 247. The more support you have the easier it will be for you to decide what to do next. I cab hear you are confused by the way your partners actions, but the way he is treating you isn’t right and is having an affect on your life. You might want to have a look at this website below for more information.

      www.womensaid.org.uk

      Take care,

      Becca

      This is Abuse team 16/03/2014

  • Unknown

    13/03/2014

    I have an older brother a few years older than myself, and I've recently noticed strange behaviours between him and his girlfriend. I don't know if this is just friendly banter, but he seems to yell at her a lot. He can be an aggressive person at times around the house, but I mostly, now catch him directing his anger towards her. He yells at her regularly, insults her mother and her parenting skills, and occasionally 'jokes' with her and says things like; I WILL punch you, it is with a laugh and a joke on his face, but he has also been known to say things tom he r such asr he will commit suicide if she leaves him.
    .. I just wanted to check that this wasn't abuse because I am very worried for the both of them

    Unknown - 13/03/2014

    Reply
    • Hello Unknown

      I am glad that you felt able to contact us about this because the little you describe sounds quite worrying. Unfortunately, the behaviours you describe are most definitely abusive and your brother is deliberately targeting them towards his partner. This must be very upsetting for you to see and hear. Has anyone else in your family noticed or commented on this or would you be able to discuss your worries with them? Its important that you try and get some support for yourself too.

      Depending on the relationship you have with your brothers partner you could perhaps try and talk to her alone and say that you feel uncomfortable when you see him treat her like this and ask if there is any way you can help. Of course she may be dismissive of a gesture like this or minimise what is going on but she would at least know that you are available to her for support if she chooses to seek it out in the future. If you decide to do this its crucial that you approach her when she is alone and not in his presence so it doesn't increase the risk of more abuse.

      His threats of suicide are worrying too as this is a behaviour that we see in abusive relationships often when the abusive person feels they need to exert more control over the other person. I think it would be useful for you to perhaps call the National Helpline on 0808 2000 247 because they can give you advice as well as information about local services in your area that could offer some support to her if she wants to engage with them.

      Both Women's aid and Refuge have useful websites on www.womensaid.org.uk and www.refuge.org.uk with lots of information.

      It can feel quite scary to talk to other people about things like this but you are right to be concerned about this relationship and having some information might help you too. Talking to your brother directly is another option but of course this may not be well received and there is not knowing if challenging him would not make things worse for his girlfriend. It is worth being aware though that there are services available to support men who want help with their abusive behaviour. Take a look at the webpage for Respect , a national charity on www.respect.uk.net. They also provide a helpline on 0808 802 4040

      I hope that helps as a starting point

      Take care
      Linda

      This is Abuse team 15/03/2014

  • KB

    13/03/2014

    Hey,
    Basically, I don't know if my relationship is border line abusive or not. Background information on my boyfriend: he's not a people person in that he doesn't really like people. He's not very open with his feelings and he doesn't really care how people view him.

    At the beginning of our relationship, he would do things in a joking way that kind of upset me. For example, he would say I'm ugly or that I was weird and confusing. He also did something that scared me slightly. We were at a party and he didn't want to dance and I did. As there was no one else there I really knew, I sat on a chair and just waited. He thought I was sulking so he sighed, grabbed my arm and lifted me out of the chair to dance. I have since told him that it hurt and he did apologise a lot and promised not to do it again.

    He has stopped these behaviours and I do love him with all my heart and I know he feels the same. I'm just wondering if these are abusive behaviours or whether it's just how he is (he hasn't had a relationship in a while, maybe he's just forgetting that I'm his girlfriend and not his male friend) and what to do if these behaviours appear again?
    Thank you.

    KB - 13/03/2014

    Reply

    • Hello KB
      Thank you for your message. I can see why you are feeling confused in this relationship and unsure about what you are experiencing. It is definitely emotionally abusive to deliberately say or do things to another person that hurts their feelings or to be physically aggressive or abusive towards them. It wasn’t acceptable for your boyfriend to say that you are ugly and when you describe him pulling you out of the chair you mention that you felt scared. It’s very important in relationships to pay attention to your feelings or gut instincts and the fact you felt scared suggests your boyfriend was quite forceful when he did this.
      It’s reassuring to hear that things like this are not happening now but you are wise to be alert to the fact that such a situation could arise again. One of the main problems with abuse is that it is something that happens over time often with a lot of space between incidents or things that upset you. This makes it hard to work out if you are in an abusive relationship or not. I think you might find it helpful to look at the Women’s Aid website (www.womensaid.org.uk) which has lots of information on it including about the early signs of an abusive relationship. There is also a good website for younger people (www.respectnotfear.co.uk). If you wanted to read more about abusive relationships a good book is Power and Control – why charming men can make dangerous lovers by Sandra Horley. Also make a note of the National helpline number 0808 2000 247 so that you can call them for advice if the relationship seems to be becoming abusive again.
      I hope that things work out
      Take care
      Linda

      This is Abuse team 15/03/2014

  • James

    13/03/2014

    I was in an abusive relationship a few years ago. I loved her, and tried to keep her happy, but she would never repay the favour and kept on making me feel like I wasn't good enough. She lied to me, telling me that she was raped when I know otherwise (her best friend told me that they were on a skype call at the time, and even admitted to her that she was lying) and tried to blame me for our relationship failing. I did not visit to seek advice - i'm over that part of my life, and i've just about overcome the anxiety that came with it. Instead, I would like to make a request - show adverts about the mental side of abusive relationships, and show adverts about females as the aggressors. Society today loves to blame the men in many ways, but it isn't always the case. Men get abused, raped even, and I feel like it is being hidden and the men who are affected aren't getting the help they deserved. I didn't get any help during or after the relationship, not because I didn't want any, but because I had nowhere to go. I realise that you do help men, but your adverts suggest otherwise.

    James - 13/03/2014

    Reply
    • Hi James,
      Thanks for your message. I'm sorry to hear that you have experience abuse in your past relationship. Your right domestic abuse can happen to males, in fact most people would be surprised how many males are effected by abuse.
      Our society influences and stereotypes males making us think they should be strong, masculine and protectors. This can leave male victims feeling very isolated and not confident in speaking out about their abuse.
      I would recommend male victims contacting www.mensadviceline.org.uk or emailing them info@mensadvice.org.uk they also have a Freephone number 0808 801 0327 which they can provide confidential advice and support.
      Take care
      Sarah

      This is Abuse team 15/03/2014

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Don't include the personal details of anyone else in your posts (including boyfriend/girlfriend, parents, guardians, teachers, social workers or group leaders).

Don't go off topic - keep your comments relevant to the "This Is Abuse" debate. People want their opinions to be heard – don't shout them down.

Don't post crude, racist, offensive, violent or vulgar messages to the site.

Treat everyone with respect – even if someone has a different view to your own, don't let it get personal.

Don't glamorise illegal or dangerous activities, including violence of any kind. It's ok to talk about your experiences but you shouldn't encourage others to do anything illegal or dangerous.

Don't write anything that's untrue about anyone else (including boyfriend/girlfriend, parents, guardians, teachers, social workers, group leaders and famous people). Don't write anything that could harm anyone else's reputation.

This isn't a dating site – it's a platform to talk about teenage relationship abuse and your opinions on the matter; don't use it to meet or flirt with other people.

Don't write everything in CAPS – it's the equivalent of shouting and isn't polite or easy for everyone to read.

Don't post entire messages in text speak – it's ok to shorten some words but not everyone understands text speak or finds it easy to read.

It's ok to post links to other websites as long as they're relevant to the "This Is Abuse" debate and don't break the house rules in any way.

Don't break copyright rules. This means that you shouldn't post text you didn't write.

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