This is ABUSE

Help uscall outabuse


Tell us what you think about abuse in relationships

If you've got something you'd like to talk about regarding any kind of relationship abuse, come and Have Your Say on our message board where you can talk to a trained advisor.

Have a read through the discussion boards, the chances are you'll be able to talk with someone who's gone through similar experiences to your own.

Seen the ads? What do you think?


If you've got something to say about abuse in relationships then you'll need to accept our terms before you can take part - please see our rules on the right side of the page. You can then enter your comments below or under any video you want to talk about.

  • This is so we can email you to let you know if there's been any replies to your message. Your email address will never be shown or passed on to anyone.
  • I wish to opt out of notification emails

Pages << < 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 > >>

Results: 60 - 75 of 2281

  • Anonymous


    Im 19 and my boyfriend is 21, we have been together for 3 years and i feel he is controlling me. When we first got together he was amazing it was like i was in heaven but then things went downhill he began calling me names threaten me controlling me who i talk to he had to see my phone know my passcode to my phone check my contacts and needed to know what i was doing all the time. We have split up 4 times because of this and he blames it all on me. We have now split up hopfully for the last time however he keeps threatening for £500 for his laptop that broke at mine but when my mum offered him it when she had the money he said no dont worry, he even demand it on the day of my nanas funeral. He wants to be friends but is still controlling about what i do he says if hes not allowed in my house or he sees me with my friend he dont like then hes going to go to my mums and smash her face in my mum and dad hate him for what he did to me when my nana died (day she died he left me and moved a druggy in) and make my life hell im scared to go out and stay at home i feel depressed and not interested in anything anymore wich isnt like me at all i cry all the time and didnt go back to college for him. He says i used him when i didnt he calls me a liar a cheat and puts me down constantly i carnt tell my parents as they are too worked up over my younger sister as she is very ill and i dont want to give them anymore stress. Please help me what do i do? I just get the feeling to overdoese on my meds and be gone from all this hell :'( .

    Anonymous - 19/02/2015

    • Hi
      I am really glad you got in touch. It sounds like things have been really difficult for you in lots of ways and you have a lot to cope with at the moment.

      It is never ok to check someones phone, control who you see or make threats about what they will do. This is emotional abuse and is very serious.

      I am really glad you are no longer with him but understand that the abuse is still going on and is really affecting you, especially with losing your nan and your sister being ill. I am so sorry that this is happening to you.

      None of this is your fault. It is really common for abusive people to blame the person they are abusing, but he is the only person responsible.

      Does anyone know what has been happening? Can you talk to your friends? Is there anyway you can go back to college? Maybe you can explain to a tutor your reasons for not going back and that you were in an abusive relationship? I am sure they will be supportive.

      Can you block him on your phone and online?
      you can also call the police if you are scared of if He makes threats. It can be a good idea to keep a diary of anything he does or says as that can be used as evidence.

      I am very concerned that you mentioned taking an overdose. I understand how upset and scared you feel, but you are not alone and there is so much to live for, even though it may not feel like it now.

      If you feel like ending your life, please contact this lovely organisation who specialise in helping young people who feel like this. You can call, email or text them and they have good advice on their website too.
      Call: 0800 068 41 41 - Mon-Fri: 10am-10pm, weekends & bank holidays: 2pm-5pm
      SMS: 07786 209697

      If you think some counselling would help, you can ask your doctor to refer you.

      This site has some good tips on keeping safe:

      Things will get better, and this is the start of that happening. Well done for reaching out for help, now you can get the support you need and deserve.
      take care
      ps - we have a live chat on tues and weds evenings from 6-7 here if you want to chat more.

      This is Abuse team - 09/03/2015

  • Sarah


    When I was younger I was sexually abused by my cousin who used to touch me inappropriately. I never told anyone about it and have to see him on a regular basis as he's a family member. The thing is I'm now scared to lose my virginity because everytime I get close to a guy, all I can think about is how he used to act with me. I've ended up breaking up with the last two boyfriends ive had because I didn't want to get intimate with them but didn't feel it was fair to 'drag them along' as such :/

    Sarah - 19/02/2015

    • Hi Sarah

      I am so sorry to hear about what you have been through. Sexual abuse is a hugely traumatic thing to go through, especially as a child and from someone you still have to see.

      It is normal for sexual abuse to affect you still years later and for that to impact on your relationships. But, there is a lot of help out here and it does not have to define who you are now, and your future relationships.

      Here are some brilliant organisations that you can contact for support and advice:
      This one is for people who were abused in childhood:
      0808 801 0331
      lines are open 10am till 9pm Monday to Thursday, 10am till 6pm on Friday

      and rape crisis also work with people who were sexually abused as children:
      freephone helpline
      0808 802 9999
      12 - 2.30pm
      7 - 9.30pm
      You can search for your local rape crisis centre here -

      You can speak to both these organisations confidentially - they also have good info and support on their websites.

      It may also be a good idea to think about telling people what happened, they can advise you on that too.

      I really hope this helps,
      take care

      This is Abuse team - 09/03/2015

  • Unknown


    My brother is in a domestic abuse relationship with his girlfriend.
    She has cut him off from his family and I'm at a lost cause of how to help him.
    She is very violent to him giving him broken nose, ribs and the list goes on. (All of what I know or have seen)
    They have a baby together and it's even harder now for us to help him.

    Please help,
    I'm worried what she might do to him.

    Thank you.

    Unknown - 18/02/2015

    • Hi

      I am not surprised that you are so worried about your brother. It sounds like a very concerning and serious situation. It's good that you know what is happening though as that will help him.

      You can report this to the police at anytime and they will have a duty to investigate. You can also call the helpline for male victims of domestic violence, if your brother doesn't want to call you can do so on his behalf.
      Here are their details:
      Monday - Friday 9am-5pm on freephone
      0808 801 0327

      It is also concerning that they now have a child as domestic violence can have serious impacts on children, even if they are not harmed physically.

      Please try to contact the helpline as they really will be able to help - they also have some great advice on their website.

      I hope this helps,
      take care

      This is Abuse team - 04/03/2015

  • Kam


    Hi i have been in a relationship for almost three years and my girl friend is breaking up with me for no reason i have tried to apologise in every way possible i have never been rude or never threatened her and never will because i hoestly love her but she is not agreeing and telling me not to text her or call her she doesnt want to be with me anymore. How do i proceed as i really dont want to loose her and i dont want her to feel harrased.

    Kam - 18/02/2015

    • Hi Kam

      I am really sorry to hear that your GF wants to end the relationship. I know how painful that must be. However, it is up to her if she no longer wants to be in the relationship and no matter how hard it is, you must respect that.

      I think it is best if you stop contacting her and give her the space she needs. It's great that you are aware that you don't want to harass her, so not contacting her is a good idea.

      I know you want to change her mind, or get some answers as to why she is ending the relationship, but she is obviously not ready to give you this. In time, with space, she may be ready to talk things through but right now you need to back off I think.

      It will also be good for you to have that time to heal and adjust.
      Take care

      This is Abuse team - 02/03/2015

  • Polly


    My friend told me that a man makes him go round there and rapes him. He says they will beat him up if he doesn't. He won't tell anyone. What shall I do?

    Polly - 13/02/2015

    • I've had that same experience, the one you describe, with my partner.

      He was raped repeatedly for months by a man. He was even trafficked and was made to have sex with other people without contest. He never told anyone expect me and is very scared of him. There was eve threats of violence and actual violence. The man exploited the fact that he has mental health issues and that he is a loner and was serverly bullied. I did report to the police but the man giving him the drugs and money and thearts made him not follow it up.

      If it is the same victim and abuser as I suspect then it would be very concerning. I have seen this man with children in my school and children younger than me. He has even made thearts of rape to me and him to my partner.

      If I was you I would start to call the NSPCC to report this and the police. It is also a good idea to ask more about the rape before you call to get more information. I would ask them the "who, what, how, when" type questions and avoid using the word "why" as it may feel invasive. I would also vist the Samaritans website as they have very good advice on how to question people. The rape crisis website does have very good information there and are very supportive when you call them and it helps with the whole emotional ordeal with the rape. Refuge/womens aid is also very good and they will give you the number to call their local centres which in turn puts you through the council's domestic abuse officer, who normally deals with these things.

      I would also start safety planning for yourself and your friend. On this website there is advice on who to be safe. Also Ask The Police website has very good information on being safe and stalking. I would be very vigilant for the rapeist especially with your friend as it may end in an unpleasant experience or just end up with more stalking, harassment, indmtiadtion. This is just based off personal experience.

      Before you report to anyone about this and get some help for you friend, it is best to write what your friend said about it. It can be after the conversation or later in the day. Just remember to be very detailed and exact as you can. If your friend as sent the information electronically then make screen shots of it and save it and put them onto a document. Do remember to keep the information in a safe place and do make copies.

      You can get support for your friend with women's aid, rape crisis, victim support, broken rainbow and survivors trust if your friend gives their consent to it. Also Get Contected is a great way to find support groups in your local area and they will even be with you when you go call the group.

      I hope that all the experiances I faced is useful to you.

      An undisclosed name - 05/03/2015

    • Hi Polly

      This is really serious. It's good that your friend is telling you about it,but you need to involve adults who can intervene and keep your friend safe.

      Can you tell anyone like family or someone at school/college?
      You can also ring the police anytime and they have a duty to investigate. You can also call the local social services department as if your friend is under 18 this is also child abuse. You can search for them online by searching for the name of the area you live in and 'social services'.

      It's really important that you tell people who can help, and it's also a huge thing for you to try to cope with on your own so you also need support.

      Well done for being a great friend and coming on here to get advice,
      take care

      This is Abuse team - 02/03/2015

  • K


    I no this may sound stupid but I don't no if I'm getting abused. When me and my bf argue he gets so angry and punches stuff it's like he just blacks out he's raised his hand to me but not done anything physical. My friend thinks he's mentally abusing me but I'm not sure. He Blames it on me if he gets angry everything is always my fault. I feel scared and I don't no weather it's because I've been in abusive relationships before I dont no :/ he made comments on my appearance then when I get offended he just says its a joke. And when he gets angry in a argument he says we won't do it again and he always does ive told him to go anger managent but he said basically I should be a mind reader and set it up. I feel like I can't speak to my best friend because I don't want him to be mad I find myself deleting messages. I also feel he's up to something on his phone last night I see a naked girl on his screen of his phone when I asked to see his phone he got angry again! Then finally let me see his phone and nothing was on there he told me he was watching porn so I said send me the pages you was watching but this girl I see on his phone before wasn't on any of it he told me I had embrassed him and that I always think he's ip to something but this girl weren't on any of them videos and it's like he talks me round all the time and makes he feel like I'm mad. Advice would be great thank you

    K - 12/02/2015

    • HI K

      Thanks for your message.
      I think your friend is right - this is emotional abuse and control. It is not ok to hit things and make you feel scared, or to raise a hand to you - even if he doesn't hurt you, as the threat of it is also a form of abuse.

      None of this is your fault, but it is a common thing for abusers to blame the people they are abusing as they don't want to take responsibility for their behaviour. Also, anger is not an excuse for abuse.

      I'm sorry to hear that you have been in abusive relationships before, it must be so hard to go through this again.
      It's really good you are looking for advice and help though as you don't have to try to cope with this alone.
      Only you can decide if you want to stay with him, but unfortunately he is unlikely to change unless he admits he is being abusive and gets professional help. That is his responsibility and it is not yours to try to change him. The most important thing is your safety and wellbeing.

      Here are some tips to help keep safe:

      It's good you have told your friend but can you tell other people such as family or someone at school/college/work or a doctor - someone who can really help you stay safe and think about your options?

      I hope this helps
      take care

      This is Abuse team - 02/03/2015

  • Anon


    Me and my boyfriend have experienced a lot of issues in our relationship which stem from our
    personality clash, his anger, his smoking and constant suffocating me.

    I caught him messaging his ex about us and asking her advice on us, I am jealous over this When I said things he was aggressive he grabbed me by my throat and was pushing me over. He threatened to commit suicide.

    He is becoming more violent and All the time I am feeling it is my fault but I know it's not his either.
    I understand I am not perfect as I did have a very stubborn/sarcastic and independent. Due to his anger he always takes his mood out on me even when he says he's not.

    I don't tell mam or dad anything.

    Everything has turned crazy, I found texts from another girl, I feel so irrational about it I feel bad for being so insanely jealous all the time.

    I know he loves me very much and would never do anything to hurt me intentionally it's just his anger and depression that makes him this way.

    Anon - 11/02/2015

    • Thanks for you detailed message, it really help me understand what is happening for you. It was a little too long to post here so I have edited it down but I have read all of it.

      Firstly, anger problems, mental health issues and substance use are not excuses for abusive behaviour. Also, you have done nothing wrong, he is the only person responsible for what is happening.

      It is not ok to try to force someone to have sex, or to physically hurt them. Also, threatening to hurt himself is another form of abuse and trying to control you. It must be awful when he takes an overdose but ultimately that is his choice and not your responsibility. That sounds really harsh, but he cannot blame you for that.
      i am also concerned that the way he treats you makes you feel like ending your own life.

      If you do feel like this, please contact someone as you don't have to cope with this alone.
      There is an amazing organisation called papyrus who support anyone under 35 who is feeling like self-harming or ending their life. You can email, ring or text them and there is lots of great information on their website:
      Call: 0800 068 41 41 - Mon-Fri: 10am-10pm, weekends & bank holidays: 2pm-5pm
      SMS: 07786 209697

      I can hear that you love him and that you believe he loves you to, but a genuine loving relationship is built on trust and respect, not threats and fear. As I said, anger and depression are not excuses or reasons to be abusive,it is always a choice. I know that is really hard to hear, but it is great that you are looking for advice and support.

      Telling other people what has been going on is really helpful - it helps you cope and keeps you safer.
      Here are some other tips to help keep safe -

      Only you can decide if you want to stay in the relationship but I am concerned about you being with him. Your wellbeing and safety are the most important things. If you want to talk more about this you can call the national domestic violence helpline on 0808 2000 247 - they are open 24 hours a day and you can talk to them confidentially. They can give you advice and tell you about local services.

      We also have a live chat service on here every tues and weds night between 6-7pm if you want to talk to us more,

      I really hope this helps,
      take care

      This is Abuse team - 04/03/2015

  • Tom


    i'm 14 and being abused by my mum, i don't know how to get out of it, she beats me everyday.

    Tom - 09/02/2015

    • Hi Tom

      I am so pleased that you wrote to us.

      It is not ok for your mum to do this. Can you tell anyone? Does anyone else in your family know who could help?

      A really good person to speak to would be a teacher at school? They will know how to help you.

      You can also call childline - if you can't do it from home maybe you can ring them from school or a friends house?
      0800 1111
      They also have a live chat service online.

      Because you are 14, people like teachers, social workers and the police have a duty to make sure you are ok and safe. You can talk to any of these people and they will help you,

      I know it must be really scary and upsetting but you are doing the right thing in asking for help,
      take care

      This is Abuse team - 16/02/2015

  • Anonymous


    A year ago I was in an abusive relationship, I won't say anymore than that for his sake, I'll just say he was abusive.
    In September I started a new college course and was really excited because my current boyfriend and I were starting at the same college, although different courses. But then after the first day, he tells me that my abusive ex is in his course.
    Not only this, but they've become friends. My current boyfriend is wonderful and would never abuse me so I'm not worried about him turning out the same, but he does know what my ex did to me and still insists he's a nice guy. I just feel that my ex is still having a control over my life now that I thought I'd finally gotten away from him. It hurts because where at first I was excited about my boyfriend's course, I now want to know nothing about it because the person I fear most is a big part of the course.
    I'm just so upset about this situation and have no one to tell about it.

    Anonymous - 09/02/2015

    • Hi

      Thanks for your message. That sounds like such a difficult situation for you. I can understand why this is really hard, especially as your boyfriend is saying he is nice and not really understanding how much the abuse affected you and what you went through.

      Have you been able to tell him how upset this is making you? Do you feel safe in the college if he is there too? It would be a good idea to have a plan in place for what to do if you bump into him.

      Maybe your boyfriend does not realise how you feel and what you went through. You could also think about talking to someone at the college - they should have counsellors or people that you can talk to confidentially.

      I hope this helps,

      take care

      This is Abuse team - 20/02/2015

  • Mimi


    Where do I start? I met this guy two years ago and we quite quickly began a serious relationship, he moved in with me and we'd spend every moment that we weren't working together. In the beginning we had both just got out of relationships so we went behind each other's backs a bit to still see our ex's. But then he started sleeping with his ex. I forgave him and we moved on. A few months later I was diagnosed withan ectopic pregnancy and I can't really say he helped me through it, he was sleeping with his ex and truly took advantage of my emotional state because he knew I'd welcome him back with both arms after loosing the baby. Things started to look up and I moved back home with my mum and we continued to spend every night together with our group of friends etc. he cheats on me again. I forgive him because he was my whole life, my friends were his friends and I got myself in such a habit with him that I couldn't be alone. Then things turnt nasty, we broke up and I was diagnosed with boderline personality disorder and began acting out to gain his attention, I won't share the details but I do hold my hands up- I was very manipulative. But then he was to me, he completely alienated me from all my friends, feeding me lies and turning me against them which left me with just him. I then fell pregnant again in the December and miscarried, which he blamed me for, I killed our baby. Earlier last year we split up or 'went on a break' and he started a relationship with one of my best friends but was still sleeping with me and grovelling to me to get back together. This went on for four months and I was totally unaware. Yes- I did sleep with someone else during this time and it was a one off thing. I started to see a counsellor for my bpd and I really began to make improvements. When I found out about his affair I was extremely hurt and decided that it was time to end the relationship. He didn't let me, he manipulated me and lied to me to keep me with him. He has continued to sleep with this other girl behind my back since then and it's got to the stage now where I must sit at home and wait for him whilst he's out with friends or sleeping with somebody, otherwise he gets abusive. I don't know what to do, I have nobody else to turn to but him. If I'm not with him I have no one, and he knows that and uses it to do whatever he likes. Any advice would be muchly appreciated.

    Mimi - 07/02/2015

    • Hi Mimi

      Thanks for your message, It sounds like your relationship has been really difficult and abusive for a long time.

      It is not ok or respectful for him to be cheating on you and it must really hurt, especially with the ectopic pregnancy and miscarriage. These are such awful things to go through and you need the support of your partner.

      It is also not ok for him to make you sit and wait for him while he is with someone else.

      Are you still having counselling? If not I really suggest that you ask your doctor for another referral as it's important you get the support you need for the bpd as well as everything else you are going through.

      If you need support in coping with the miscarriage, then this is a really good organisation:
      They can help you get through this really difficult time.

      And this is a link for finding local support in coping with your BPD:

      In terms of the abuse - does anyone else know what is happening? Are you still living at home? Can you tell your mum? Or anyone else like a teacher, doctor etc? It's important that you get support.
      You can also ring the national domestic violence helpline anytime on 0808 2000 247 or search for local services here:

      And here are some safety tips:

      It is your choice as to whether you stay in the relationship but I am concerned for your well-being and can't see his behaviour changing. You deserve to be with someone who will love and respect you and care for you when times are difficult. Most men are not abusive and do not cheat in relationships. If you do decide to leave it is important to do so safely (see tips in link above) and let others know what you are planning.

      I really hope this helps and you get the support you need,
      take care

      This is Abuse team - 23/02/2015

  • Thomas


    I faced abuse online mainly from various people they added me on Facebook since then it's been tough what also has made this worse it that last year it went from abuse to confrontation in real life

    People believe the other people giving me abuse so I can't do anything it's mostly verbal about my disabilities but I have also faced relationship abuse as well

    Thomas - 07/02/2015

    • Hi Thomas

      Thanks for your message. I am so sorry to hear about the abuse you are experiencing both on and off line. It must be very difficult. It is never ok to abuse anyone for any reason including disability.

      Can you talk to anyone about this? I was wondering if you can talk to family or maybe someone at school/college? It must be so hard if people are not believing you but there are people who can help.

      One thing you can do is to contact childline who can listen and give you advice:
      0800 1111
      They also have a live chat service.

      I would encourage you to try to tell people like someone at school and show them any evidence you have such as abusive messages you may have had online.

      I hope this helps,
      take care

      This is Abuse team - 20/02/2015

  • Anon


    Is your boyfreind telling you when you can or can't go on your phone ,abuse???

    Anon - 07/02/2015

    • Hi

      Yes this can be a form of emotional abuse and control.

      This checklist may be useful as it identifies different types of abuse:

      It is never ok to to control someone and their access to their belongings or a phone that they can call people for support on.

      There is lots more info on our site about this and how to get help if you need it,
      take care

      This is Abuse team - 16/02/2015

  • Riley Star


    I am 19 and have been with my boyfriend almost a year now. At first, I was happy but now I'm not so sure what I want. When I met him I was in a bad place and was drinking very often but he helped me through it, without knowing of course, I didn't want him to know I was in a bad place. Since being with him ive not drank since but he became very possessive and rude toward me. I was isolated from my friends and I now have no one to talk to. I am not allowed to go out with friends and he constantly tells me that I'm 'checking out other guys' even though I make sure to look at the ground all the time so he can't make accusations. He doesn't like me to talk to other men and makes me delete and block guys off facebook and other social websites all the time but, he ALWAYS talks to other females. It's one rule for him and another for me. I'm not allowed to argue with him about it as it makes him very angry but I don't see why I the one who is accused all the time and am always in the wrong. I'm not allowed to speak to my friends or go out with my friends OR HAVE A JOB because men could or will be there. What do I do?

    Riley Star - 07/02/2015

    • Hi Riley Star

      Thank you for your message. I am sorry to hear about the abuse that you are experiencing.

      It is never ok to isolate you, control who you speak to or to stop you from getting a job. These are all forms of emotional abuse and control.

      I am not sure if you live with him or if you have time where you can contact people for help? Does anyone know what has been going on? I know he has tried to stop you from seeing your friends but I am sure they will still want to support you if you can contact them.

      If you want to leave the relationship here are some safety tips:

      You can also call the national domestic violence helpline anytime on 0808 2000 247.

      You have done nothing wrong and deserve to be loved and respected,
      take care

      This is Abuse team - 16/02/2015

  • Anonymous


    I am in a current abusive relationship, unfortunately my partner lives in my house. I can't leave and I don't know how to get rid of him. I don't know what to do.

    Anonymous - 04/02/2015

    • Hi
      Thanks for your message. I am sorry to hear about your situation but you are doing the right thing in asking for help.

      It can be really hard living with someone who is abusing you and it can feel like there is no escape but there are people who can help you.

      Firstly here are some safety tips for when you are still living with him:

      Are you able to make calls without him knowing? Perhaps you could do this at work/uni/friends house?

      You can call the national domestic violence helpline on 0808 2000 247 and they can explain your options and support you.

      You can also get housing advice.
      Shelter have a helpline where you can get free housing advice - 0808 800 4444 - it's open 8am–8pm on weekdays and 8am–5pm on weekends

      And general free legal advice. They can tell you about your rights, and about injunctions etc to keep him away from you:

      For women in England and Wales
      Call 020 7251 6577
      Monday 7-9pm, Tuesday 7-9pm, Wednesday 7-9pm, Thursday 7-9pm, Friday 12-2pm
      For women in London
      Call 020 7608 1137
      Monday 11am-1pm, Tuesday 2-4pm, Wednesday 2-4pm

      You can also ring the police anytime. Your safety is the most important thing here, I really hope this helps,
      take care

      This is Abuse team - 16/02/2015

  • MP


    Hi, my friend is currently in an abusive relationship, but won't seem to admit that she is... And I feel if she doesn't tell anyone something bad is going to happen. She refuses to tell her parents or even a close family friend which could help her. Her maiin excuse is that he stills loves her but should I get involved by telling her parents or police? As she said that if someone finds out he will do something bad to either her or whoever told on her...

    MP - 01/02/2015

    • Hi MP

      Thanks for your message. It's really good your friend has you to support her, but I know how hard that can be.

      I hear that you want her to tell someone, but you are both worried that he has threatened to do something to whoever tells, but this is also a form of abuse and control.

      It's so hard for people who are in abusive relationships when they still feel they love the person or they are scared. It can be so hard to tell anyone but the most important thing is her safety and the only way to really keep her safe is if people who can help know what is going on.

      This is a leaflet for friends who are worried about what to do - I think it will help you.

      Here are some tips about keeping safe:

      It's ok to tell a teacher or parents about what is happening. Teachers will know what to do and if her parents are worried they can always call the national domestic violence helpline for advice on 0808 2000 247. You can also ring the police.

      i hope this helps, you are a great friend, get support for yourself too as it can be hard to cope with this,
      take care

      This is Abuse team - 16/02/2015

Pages << < 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 > >>

Results: 60 - 75 of 2281

Terms and conditions of use

Please read and accept these rules below before commenting. All of the comments you post on this website are treated confidentially and moderated.

Stay safe – don't include any personal information in your comments, such as your surname, email address, street address and phone number.

Don't include the personal details of anyone else in your posts (including boyfriend/girlfriend, parents, guardians, teachers, social workers or group leaders).

Don't go off topic - keep your comments relevant to the "This Is Abuse" debate. People want their opinions to be heard – don't shout them down.

Don't post crude, racist, offensive, violent or vulgar messages to the site.

Treat everyone with respect – even if someone has a different view to your own, don't let it get personal.

Don't glamorise illegal or dangerous activities, including violence of any kind. It's ok to talk about your experiences but you shouldn't encourage others to do anything illegal or dangerous.

Don't write anything that's untrue about anyone else (including boyfriend/girlfriend, parents, guardians, teachers, social workers, group leaders and famous people). Don't write anything that could harm anyone else's reputation.

This isn't a dating site – it's a platform to talk about teenage relationship abuse and your opinions on the matter; don't use it to meet or flirt with other people.

Don't write everything in CAPS – it's the equivalent of shouting and isn't polite or easy for everyone to read.

Don't post entire messages in text speak – it's ok to shorten some words but not everyone understands text speak or finds it easy to read.

It's ok to post links to other websites as long as they're relevant to the "This Is Abuse" debate and don't break the house rules in any way.

Don't break copyright rules. This means that you shouldn't post text you didn't write.