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This is ABUSE

Help uscall outabuse

HAVE YOUR SAY

Tell us what you think about abuse in relationships or ask a question to one of our trained advisors

If you've got something you'd like to talk about regarding any kind of relationship abuse, come and Have Your Say on our message board. And if you’re worried about anything to do with abuse, whether it’s in your own relationship or a friend’s, you can ask one of our trained experts for advice.

Have a read through the discussion boards, the chances are you'll be able to talk with someone who's gone through similar experiences to your own.

Seen the ads? What do you think?

  • Sex with someone who doesn't want to is rape

    [71 comments]

  • Abuse in relationships isn’t always physical

    [134 comments]

  • Would you recognise abuse if you saw it?

    [21 comments]

  • Emotional Abuse

    [72 comments]

  • Controlling Behaviour

    [5 comments]

  • SPOT THE SIGNS OF ABUSE IN A FRIEND’S RELATIONSHIP

    [10 comments]

  • Mandem On The Wall

    A trio of friends meet at the place they love to jam - The Wall. Tinie Winie has a new girlfriend and with advice from the Mandem crew learns how to treat her with respect. The trouble is he gets it wrong and ends up becoming someone he doesn't want to be....

    [134 comments]

  • Twist and Pulse

    Twist and Pulse visit George Mitchell school to perform their latest dance routine for the pupils and talk to them to see if they are in the know about relationships.

    [0 comments]

  • Charlie McDonnell

    Watch Charlie McDonnell’s video about Sex, and most importantly, about Consent.

    [0 comments]

  • Bedroom

    Is controlling who a partner sees or speaks to abuse?

    [156 comments]

  • Liam & Beth - Recognise abuse when you see it

    [8 comments]

  • Ryan & Jade - Recognise abuse when you see it

    [5 comments]

  • Sam & Alice

    [12 comments]

  • If you could see yourself

    Sex with someone who doesn't want to is rape.

    [538 comments]

  • Zoe's story

    Sex with someone who doesn't want to is rape.

    [538 comments]

  • Party

    Is putting pressure on someone to have sex abuse?

    [100 comments]

  • School

    Is bullying, controlling and putting a partner down abuse?

    [79 comments]

  • Takeaway

    Is insulting and threatening a partner with violence abuse?

    [169 comments]

TELL US WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT ABUSE IN RELATIONSHIPS

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Results: 435 - 450 of 2036

  • maria

    12/01/2014

    i NEED HELP ONLY GOT THE GUTS TO SAY NOW I HAVE HAD A DRINK BUT THINKING OF KILLING MY SELF RIGHT NOW MY HUSBAND OF 24 YEARS IS SO ABUSIVE

    maria - 12/01/2014

    Reply
    • Hello Maria

      Thank you so much for contacting us. This was a very brave step to take considering how you are feeling about life at the moment. I am sure drinking helps ease and numb some of the pain emotional ( and perhaps physical ) you are feeling due to the abuse in your relationship.

      Maria have you been able to tell anyone about the abuse in your marriage. Its so important that you try and get some emotional support for yourself especially as you are considering self harm or suicide. You can always call the Samaritans at any time for someone to talk to on 08457 909090 but if you feel actively suicidal you can call an ambulance or go to any casualty department as there are always specialist staff on call to help people in these situations.I know it can feel frightening to talk about what has happened and the thoughts and feelings you have but there is support and services out there to help you so you don't have to cope with this alone.

      Another possibility would be to talk to your GP. They will know a lot about local services and be able to get you some help quickly. People often feel ashamed or embarrassed about self harm but it is quite common especially as a coping mechanism when living with abuse. All of the services I have mentioned will treat you with respect and not judge you.

      If you want some advice about your relationship or to consider what your options might be then call the National domestic violence helpline on 0808 2000 247. We also have a live chat session Mondays - Fridays - 5 -7 and you are welcome to contact us too.

      Talking to someone about what is going on will help you feel less alone and isolated so I hope you will feel able to consider some of the options I have mentioned.

      Do take care

      Linda

      This is Abuse team 14/01/2014

  • Carol

    12/01/2014

    I am very confused as to whether this is abuse or not as we are no longer together however have daily communication. When we were together I hardly saw or spoke to my family and friends as he didn't like them. He accused me of being with another man and would check my mileage when I'd been to work. He still does the same now when I see him even though I'm alone. We have a son together who is 8 months old. I left my ex as he's addicted to gambling and had thousands of pounds of my money. He still continues to ask me for money now, he says it's to pay for his rent and when I say no, he swears at me and says it's my fault if he loses his house. He's always talking badly about my family and friends, he says they control me. I am very close to them and they don't like him for him taking my money as he knows. He reported himself to the police when he took my money but he made me feel guilty saying he'd go to prison so I dropped all charges. This situation with him gets me down as its every single day and I'm trying to look after our son with no help. If I say that I can't give him money he threatens me with court over our son but then the next day is nice again forgetting what he's said and then asks me for money again. I usually give in and leave myself short, it's just a vicious circle. Is this abuse or not?

    Carol - 12/01/2014

    Reply
    • Hi Carole,

      Thank you for your message. What you are describing is abuse and I’m pleased you have felt able to post on the site. It shows strength to reach out for support, which have done here.

      You have left your partner but he still continues to abuse you through contact with your child. You have done the really difficult thing of leaving the relationship and it sounds like you have a good support network around you. He is financially, emotionally and verbally abusive as well as being controlling. All those things are part of domestic abuse and are against the law.

      Have you spoken to any professional services about what is happening? There are lots out there and they will be able to give you some support and some advice about what to do next. If not I would encourage you to call the 24 -hour domestic abuse helpline on 0808 2000 247. You can speak to them about how you are feeling and what options you could take. You might also want to look on this website for more information about domestic abuse www.womensaid.org.uk. The way your ex is treating you is not ok, you deserve some support to help you deal with it.

      You say he is also using contact with your son as a threat and the courts. I have put a links here you might want to look at, as they can advise you about what legal rights you have in this situation.

      http://www.childrenslegalcentre.com/index.php?page=legal_advice_lines

      http://www.rightsofwomen.org.uk/

      Take care,

      Becca

      This is Abuse team 15/01/2014

  • fiona

    12/01/2014

    I have been with my partner for 5 years we have 2 kids together, but I'm not happy when it comes to sex he just gose on and on till I give in, he wont let me go out for nights out with my girl mates ! All my friends day I should leave him coz its not right but I don't think I can leave him, as he says if I go he will have nothing to do with the kids, he also drinks and when he has had a drink I'm all the names under the sun ! I do love him but I just don't no what to do :(

    fiona - 12/01/2014

    Reply
    • Dear Fiona,

      Thank you for your message. It’s really brave of you to post what has happened to you here, I can hear how confused you are by the situation you are in and I’m pleased you have been able to reach out for help here.

      The way your partner is behaving is abusive and I can hear how trapped you are feeling, as you care about him but know what he is doing is wrong and is hurting you. Your partner is emotionally abusing you, controlling you, verbally abusing you and sexually abusing you. If you feel unable to refuse him sex this means you are having sex without freely giving consent, which is rape. Your partner is also using your children as a means of getting you to stay in the relationship. None of this is ok. What is happening is not your fault and you do not deserve to be treated like this.

      You say you have spoken to your friends about what is happening, have you discussed it with anyone else in your life, such as family? ? If not I would encourage you to call the 24 -hour domestic abuse helpline on 0808 2000 247. You can speak to them about how you are feeling and what options you could take. You might also want to look on this website for more information about domestic abuse www.womensaid.org.uk

      If you are being sexually abused by your partner it can be hard to discuss this with people. If that’s the case you can call Rape Crisis, they are an organisation who specialise in working with women and girls who have suffered sexual violence. They can talk with you in a confidential and non-judgemental setting. You can reach them on 0808 802 (12 –2.30 & 7 – 9.30 everyday). If you have someone supporting you it will be easier for you to make the next move towards getting some support.

      Take care,

      Becca

      This is Abuse team 15/01/2014

  • Amanda

    12/01/2014

    Basically ive been with my boyfriends for 8 months now and he always seems to want to have sex but i dont want to and when i say no he makes me feel guilty and i end up having sex , sometimes hes too rough with me and hurts me during play fighting or messing around also he wont let me meet other boys as friends he says hes just insecure but he wont even let me talk to them is this relationship abuse and what can i do i really love him

    Amanda - 12/01/2014

    Reply
    • Hi

      Thank you for your message. This is abuse that you are experiencing and it must be very upsetting. When your boyfriend makes you feel guilty for having sex and pressures you and you 'give in' even though you have already clearly said no, this means he does not have your consent and this is actually classed as rape.

      Also, it is not ok to be rough with you or to control who you see as friends. This is also abusive.
      I know you say you love him, but in a loving relationship, you would not be treated like this. Not all boys are abusive and you should be treated with respect.

      It is important that other people know what is going on as this will help to keep you safe and give you someone to talk to. Can you tell your parents? Another adult that you trust? Your friends?

      This is a really good website with some info about unhealthy relationships and keeping safe:
      www.respectnotfear.co.uk

      You could also talk to rape crisis about the sexual abuse if you want to - I know it may sound scary but they are lovely and will be able to listen.
      www.rapecrisis.org.uk
      0808 802 9999

      We also have live chats every mon-fri from 5-7pm if you want to talk more.

      take care
      Jo

      This is Abuse team 15/01/2014

  • Natasha

    12/01/2014

    I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 9 months and things used to be great. He moved away about about 2 months into our relationship, making it long distance. Since about 4 months into our relationship he has been threatening to leave me. He says he could never do that as he cares about me way too much. Things started to get a lot worse and today has really hit home for me.

    Countless times he has refused to answer his phone and has blocked me in every way he can because he simply "didn't want to talk to me". I have recently had surgery and I have had a tough time looking after myself with the intense pain. Today we were talking as usual and I said I didn't feel like talking later because of my pain (meaning I'd just take myself off to bed). He completely lost the plot and said we should end it for good because all I ever do is upset him. This was no different than usual but he started to get more vocal. He suddenly demanded I change my facebook profile picture because he didn't like it anymore. He started swearing at me and telling me he has never cared and it is just sex between us.

    I found myself in floods of tears and apologising profusely as per usual. He said I was forgiven then simply said he was going to sleep. He has suffered with depression for many years and when he has down days he takes it out on me. When we first met he had strangled me on two occasions and when I became upset, he claimed I had ruined our time together. I really love him but he really scared me today.

    It isn't the first time he has demanded I do something as he often doesn't like the things I wear. I am treading on egg shells and I don't dare say anything incase he threatens to leave me again.

    Natasha - 12/01/2014

    Reply
    • Dear Natasha,

      Thank you for your message. I can hear how confused and upset you are feeling at the moment, it takes a lot of courage to share what is happening and I’m pleased you have felt able to.
      There are a lot of things you write about in your message that are really concerning and it sounds like you are blaming yourself for the way he is behaving. You are not in any way to blame for the abuse that is happening, it is not your fault and you don’t deserve to be treated like you are.

      Your partner is displaying some really dangerous behaviour. Not only is he being emotionally abusive but he is being physically abusive. The fact he has strangled you is very concerning, as it is a very high risk behaviour. He could have easily killed you.

      Have you discussed what is happening with anyone, family, friends or a trusted adult? If you don’t feel you can talk about it with anyone in your life you can call the 24 hour domestic violence helpline - you can reach them on 0800 2000 247.
      We have a live chat from 5-7 on the site and you can speak to someone if you feel you like to discuss this a bit more.
      Take care,
      Becca

      This is Abuse team 15/01/2014

  • Rose

    12/01/2014

    My dad and I get in these fights about one of my best friends who's not really my friend anymore. She been treating me badly and I act out when she treats me bad. Anyway we fight and it use usually involves him shoving me and grabbing me and pinning me down to the floor. He bigger than me. He pulled my hair, spit in my face. Made me taste his blood when he got cut . But I've punched him and he gotten cuts from me but he always egos me on he tell me to punch him . He tells me to hit him to let it out.. But idk . When he pins me down I try and get out of it and try to do anything be cause it freaks me out I've bite him before. I had night mares about him raping me and hurting me. But I'm not sure if this abuse since I've fight back and the fights are caused by me...

    Rose - 12/01/2014

    Reply
    • Dear Rose,

      Thank you for your message. It’s really brave of you to post what is happening to you on this website, it must have taken a lot of courage. You don’t have to cope on your own with this abuse, there is support out there for you.

      What you are describing is really terrifying and really difficult for you to cope with without any support. What is happening to you is abuse and is not your fault. Even if you fight back you are not to blame for what is happening, your father is supposed to take care of you and not hurt you. The way he is treating you is not ok and is dangerous to you.

      Can you speak to anyone else you know about what is happening, a teacher or a trusted adult? If not I would encourage you to call Childline if you are in the UK 0800 1111 or if you are abroad 1800 668 6868.

      If you feel you are in danger at any point you can call the police.
      Take care,
      Becca

      This is Abuse team 15/01/2014

  • charlie

    12/01/2014

    I'm seeing this guy and he has a past of being angry to the point that he has hurt someone or punched something. But when he is with me he calms down straight away but on Saturday we were in town and he got up and left me on my own with my friends I thought nothing of it but after 15 minutes of not seeing him I worried in case he was angry because of something. Myself and a friend ran out of the cafe and went down a lane where he would usually be I saw him there talking to anothergirl wwhich doesn't bother me but he looked mad so I went over. He was seriously shaken up and raging his whole face and eyes had changed into being completely emotionless. I held his hand to try to calm him he kept saying can I just have a kiss i said no what's wrong at this time I looked down at which my hands were covered in blood I was shocked and I asked him what had happened and he wouldn't answer when he did he said he punched a wing mirror I felt like I could cry but I didn't so we went to clear up both our hands as we both came back security men asked a group of us if we knew who done it no one spoke so they left but I wanted him to own up to it so we went to the store of which van he punched and owned up they were so nice to us but he got angry with me and grabbed. my face which threw me back a bit because I had blood all on my face I nearly cried but held it in because I was worries at what he would say. I sat down next to the nurse in the storeand she looked worries for me asking if I was ok I wasnt but I put on a brave face and said yeah as we left he put his hand on my face again and forced it towards his. I don't know if this counts as abuse but it did shake me up. Any help will do. I have Aldo just come out of a psychologically abusive relationship as my ex had schizophrenia. Thanks x

    charlie - 12/01/2014

    Reply
    • Dear Charlie,

      Thank you for your message. I can hear how shaken you are feeling after what happened and I am pleased you have felt able to post here; it shows a lot of strength.

      What you are describing is abuse and is not ok. It sounds like your partner has a violent temper and has shown it to you for the first time, which has made you feel frightened, as it shows he is willing to be aggressive with you. From your message it also sounds like you are quite frightened of him being angry quite often, which is not an ideal way for you to be feeling about your partner.

      You say you have just got out of an abusive relationship. Have you had any support for this, from friends or family or anywhere else? If not I would encourage you to talk to someone about what is happening now and how you are feeling about your previous relationship. It’s a lot to cope with on your own and may have some lasting impacts on you. If you don’t feel you able to talk to anyone you know you can call the 24 hour domestic abuse helpline on 0808 2000 247. The more people you have supporting you, the easier it will be for you to know what to do next.

      You might also want to have a look at this website.
      http://respectnotfear.co.uk/

      We have a live chat from 5-7 on the site and you can speak to someone if you feel you like to discuss this a bit more.
      Take care,
      Becca

      This is Abuse team 15/01/2014

  • Anonymous Girl

    12/01/2014

    Hi, I'm just looking to see if anyone agrees with me, My bestfriend recently met a girl but she has a boyfriend, They have currently been dating for 5 months, she's 16 nearly 17 and he's 25. They're in a long distance relationship but from what I hear he's very controlling. He's made her go on a 400 calorie a day diet because he was unhappy with her body, he makes negative comments on her figure and facial features constantly. He stops her from going out and meeting people which forces her to lie to him encase they argue which is a lot of the time . She claims when.ever they're together it's fine, but he forces her to do sexual activities. I know I:m rambling on but I think she's a bit stupid to stay with this guy. I understand it'll be hard for her to.let go of someone she'sbeen attached to for so long, but if she loved him that much she wouldn't have started to like my friend? I'm just curious to hear what others have to say about it and what she should do.cause I personally disagree with disrespectful people and I have strong views against it and I think she needs advice asap.
    Thank you for reading, I appreciate.

    Anonymous Girl - 12/01/2014

    Reply
    • Hi Anonymous Girl,

      Thank you so much for your message. You are obviously a good friend and you are right to be concerned about the situation. The way in which her boyfriend is behaving sounds abusive.

      You and your best friend can support her by being there for her and talking to her, letting her know that you are supportive of her and you are not judging her. It sounds like her partner is isolating her so she feels she has no one to turn to.
      Let her know that you will always be there for her whatever she needs and if you feel you can let her know you are worried about her.

      I understand that you want her to leave him for her own safety; however it needs to be a decision she takes on her own and that can take time.

      If she is at any point, open to getting support you could encourage her to speak with someone at a local domestic violence service or the 24 hour domestic violence helpline - you can reach them on 0800 2000 247, or direct her to this site.

      Take care
      Becca

      This is Abuse team 15/01/2014

  • Anonymous

    12/01/2014

    Just over 3 years ago I got in a relationship with someone that was a lot older than me. Even at the beginning he was asking me who I was texting and who I was with but I thought nothing of it at the time. When I went out with my friends he used 2 follow us around spying on what I was doing. When I moved in with him he never liked me goin to my mates house not even to my mum's. Ones I argued back with him because I wanted to go out with my friends but he grabbed my arms and shouted at me then slapped me a cross the face. I was so scared. After a while he said he was sorry. And I believed him. But it kept happening again and again. And it kept getting worse. He put me in the bedroom to cry and I wasn't to leave unroll I stopped crying. That's when I got out and ran to my mates . Then he kept texting me saying he's going to get me and will never leave me alone. But I had to leave him, and so I did. I stayed at home for over a month coz I was so scared. Now I'm in a relationship, have an amazing little 10month old boy. But I still get scared :( it's one thing I will never be able to move on from I suppose :(

    Anonymous - 12/01/2014

    Reply
    • Hello Anonymous

      Thank you for sharing some of what happened to you in your relationship.It sounds like a very abusive and potentially dangerous relationship and its a relief to hear that you are safe and well now and have a delightful little child whom you clearly love and enjoy.

      What you described sounds very frightening and it was a very brave step to leave that relationship especially in the way that you did. It can take a long time to recover from an abusive relationship but help is available if you would like some support with this. Your GP could perhaps arrange some counselling for you or something called talking therapies (IAPT) which is perhaps 6 sessions of talking to someone in a group about how you feel.Another alternative would be to call the National helpline on 0808 2000 247 as they can tell you more about specialist domestic violence support services in your area.

      Maybe give this a bit of consideration - you have taken the hardest step by leaving but equally you are entitled to specialist support to help you recover from the abuse and rebuild your life.

      Take Care

      Linda



      This is Abuse team 14/01/2014

  • john b

    12/01/2014

    My female partner keeps on wanting to know who's texting me even if it's an email that I receive she also want to know who rang me yet every time her phone goes off I'm not aloud to even ask her also it ok for her to have male friend but I'm not aloud to talk to
    Any females if I do she just buts right in on the conversation is this abuse

    john b - 12/01/2014

    Reply
    • Hello John B

      Thank you for your message and i can hear how confused you are feeingl about what is happening in your relationship, Abuse is not just about something physical. Controlling another individual - their relationships, contacts, conversations etc are all aspects of abuse and it sounds as though your partner is controlling a significant number of things in your life all of which are unacceptable.

      It might be helpful for you to contact the Men's advice line (Male) which is specifically there to help male victims of abuse. Their website is www.mensadviceline.org.uk and the helpline number is 0808 801 0327. It can feel incredibly uncomfortable to talk about abuse but the staff have lots of experience and will not only be able to offer advice but also let you know about any support services there may be in your area. I hope that you will feel able to give them a call

      Take care

      Linda

      This is Abuse team 14/01/2014

  • Anonymous

    12/01/2014

    My boyfriend has mentally and verbally abused me for 3 years. I told him he was doing this and he laughs it off. I am now pregnant and he has been physically abusive, not actually hit me but pulled me to the floor, and threatened to punch my baby out of me.
    I have let him now for the sake of my baby.
    Can I or should I register this with the police?

    Anonymous - 12/01/2014

    Reply
    • Hello Anonymous

      Thank you for getting in touch with us. This must be so frightening for you especially now that you are pregnant and you need to try and get as much support for yourself as you possibly can. Have you been seen by the midwives yet? I know it can be scary to talk to people about what has happened but they will understand and be able to support you throughout the pregnancy. This is particularly important as although you have said you have left your partner he may try and contact you and use the pregnancy as a reason to do so.

      Regarding reporting this to the police yes you can and I think that would be a good decision. You are more vulnerable whilst you are pregnant and the abuse against you and your baby would be taken seriously. Also if you report it now and your partner should start to harass you in the future the police will know what has happened and be able to respond quickly to keep you safe and support you.Most police stations have something called a Community safety Unit and these units have specially trained officers to support victims of domestic violence. Google your local station to get the details and then maybe have a friend with you for support when you either call or visit them.

      You could also talk to the National Helpline on 0808 2000 247 and they will be able to advise you about local support services in your area.

      You have taken a very brave step leaving your partner whilst pregnant but getting some good practical and legal advice as well as emotional support will help you through this. I do hope things work out

      Take care
      Linda

      This is Abuse team 14/01/2014

  • Michelle

    12/01/2014

    I've just walked out on an abusive relationship. He had previously hit me in an a fight. He would always swear at me and always threatened to end the relationship and it would be down to me to beg. I lost all my male friends because he didn't like me talking to other guys. I was always in the way in the flat. I just decided I had had enough and packed all my stuff up

    Michelle - 12/01/2014

    Reply
    • Hi Michelle.
      Thanks for getting in touch. I am really glad that you are no longer in that relationship but just want to make sure that you are safe now?

      There is some good safety info here for when you have left an abusive relationship
      http://refuge.org.uk/get-help-now/help-for-women/keeping-safe/

      There is also a lot of support available if you feel you need to talk to someone and you can always come to our live chat sessions if you need to.

      take care
      Jo

      This is Abuse team 12/01/2014

  • Anonymous

    12/01/2014

    Why are there no sites/or helplines dedicated to adult men in abusive marriages. Non of the listed helpline list this group. Where am I to turn to for help and advice?

    Anonymous - 12/01/2014

    Reply
    • Dear Anonymous,

      Thanks for your post. There are services for men, I’m sorry you haven’t found one as yet.

      A good place to start would be the Men’s Advice Line. You can call them on 0808 801 0327 or go to the website www.mensadviceline.org.uk for more information.

      Of course if you are in immediate danger you should call the police on 999.

      I hope that you get the advice and support that you need.

      Take Care,

      Brian.

      This is Abuse team 14/01/2014

  • becky

    12/01/2014

    I dont know if this was considered abuse but my ex had sex with me while I was asleep he waited till I fell asleep, he forced me to send girls messages because he wanted to see 2 girls get off with each other, he threatned to kill and rape me by message if I didnt do something. He made me do werid sexual activities... I know its a previous relationship but I just wanted to know was this abuse? Thanks

    becky - 12/01/2014

    Reply
    • Dear Becky,

      Thank you for your message. It’s realty brave of you to post what has happened here, I can hear you are confused about the abuse you went through and I’m happy you have felt able to post here about it. You don’t have to deal with after effects of this alone.

      Your boyfriends had sex with you while you were asleep and unable to give consent to sex. This is rape, which is a very serious offence. He also forced you into sexual activities by the use of threat. This means that you could not freely say if you wanted to do them or not. What happened to you was abuse and if you are still feeling effected by that now, that is totally normal. You have been through something really traumatic that was not your fault.

      Have you had any support for what you have been through? If not I would encourage you to call Rape Crisis, they are an organisation who specialise in working with women and girls who have suffered sexual violence. They can talk with you in a confidential and non-judgemental setting. You can reach them on 0808 802 (12 –2.30 & 7 – 9.30 everyday). If you have someone supporting you it will be easier for you to make the next move towards recovery and get yourself some specialist help for what you have been through.

      We also have a live chat available 5-7 weeknights.

      Take care,
      Becca

      This is Abuse team 13/01/2014

  • Anonymous

    11/01/2014

    im in an abusive n violent realationship iv ad demestic violence teams invoolved n hospitals av gt resports of my injuries hes given methey reported my injuries to the police but because im to scared and got no family to help me i wont give a statement coz of threats and wer i live iv askd council for help but got no wer wit them i cnt control my ill ness coz of everything that im goin threw police dont solve it they make it worse in my case iv never been so scared on my own i see ads on tv n im scared to do out about it now im lost wit it all

    Anonymous - 11/01/2014

    Reply

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Don't go off topic - keep your comments relevant to the "This Is Abuse" debate. People want their opinions to be heard – don't shout them down.

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Treat everyone with respect – even if someone has a different view to your own, don't let it get personal.

Don't glamorise illegal or dangerous activities, including violence of any kind. It's ok to talk about your experiences but you shouldn't encourage others to do anything illegal or dangerous.

Don't write anything that's untrue about anyone else (including boyfriend/girlfriend, parents, guardians, teachers, social workers, group leaders and famous people). Don't write anything that could harm anyone else's reputation.

This isn't a dating site – it's a platform to talk about teenage relationship abuse and your opinions on the matter; don't use it to meet or flirt with other people.

Don't write everything in CAPS – it's the equivalent of shouting and isn't polite or easy for everyone to read.

Don't post entire messages in text speak – it's ok to shorten some words but not everyone understands text speak or finds it easy to read.

It's ok to post links to other websites as long as they're relevant to the "This Is Abuse" debate and don't break the house rules in any way.

Don't break copyright rules. This means that you shouldn't post text you didn't write.

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