This website works best using cookies, which are currently enabled. To find out more about cookies and for information on how to turn them off, click here.
This is ABUSE

Help uscall outabuse

HAVE YOUR SAY

Tell us what you think about abuse in relationships

If you've got something you'd like to talk about regarding any kind of relationship abuse, come and Have Your Say on our message board.

Have a read through the discussion boards, the chances are you'll be able to talk with someone who's gone through similar experiences to your own.

Seen the ads? What do you think?

TELL US WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT ABUSE IN RELATIONSHIPS

If you've got something to say about abuse in relationships then you'll need to accept our terms before you can take part - please see our rules on the right side of the page. You can then enter your comments below or under any video you want to talk about.

  • This is so we can email you to let you know if there's been any replies to your message. Your email address will never be shown or passed on to anyone.
  • I wish to opt out of notification emails

Pages << < 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 > >>

Results: 435 - 450 of 2084

  • James

    17/01/2014

    I believe that I may be suffering from emotional/psychological abuse by my ex-parrner, we met in 2007, while I was married to my 2nd wife, our marriage broke down after the death of our eldest Son, he was 4 & half & passed away following a Very short illness. I met my 2nd wife 3 years later & within a year were married & have 2 beautiful daughters together, unfortunately my wife suffered severe PND & this led to the breakdown of our relationship, with severe consequences, my 2nd wife took a massive overdose and never recovered.
    My ex-parrner & I have a 5 & half year old daughter and for almost 6years I considered we had a Very strong relationship, however with 2 such large events in my life in a shortish time frame this left me with some mental health issues. While my ex-parrner & I were together I had 2 nervous breakdowns and was admitted to the local mental health unit. I was also diagnosed with arthritis of the lower spine in 2007. Now my ex-parrner decided that she needed some "space" in November 2012 & moved from our home into rented accommodation less than 1/2 a mile away. During the whole of December 2012 & January of 2013 my ex-parrner & daughter were very regular visitors to our home & we were sleeping together & although living apart we were acting as a couple, I thought that we were rebuilding our relationship. I found out in March of 2013 that my ex-partner was in actual fact creating various stories and possibly seeing someone else. In April she took our daughter & did a "moonlight" move to the next county along without my knowledge, this is when I began legal action to have contact with our daughter. This she has made very difficult to the point where I've considered just giving in & letting them alone. In July of 2013 she had me arrested for alleged stalking, this is still being investigated, she has told me, via solicitor whom I can & cannot contact, limits contact between my daughter & myself to 2 hours twice a month, she will also not allow my other 2 daughters contact with their sister, I am told by friends and my Son that she posts derogatory things on a well known social networking site & has various members of my Family as "friends". It appears that there is a rule for her & a Very different one for myself, this I find very upsetting and distressing, could anyone advise me if this would be classed as emotional / psychological abuse and what if anything I can do about it? I apologise for the length of the comment but I think you may agree that it is valuable background information... Please advise.....

    James - 17/01/2014

    Reply
    • Hi James,

      It sounds like a very difficult time for you. Unfortunately, from the information you have given here it doesn't sound like your partner has acted in a controlling or abusive manner. It seems like there has been an unhappy breakdown in your relationship. From what you have said it sounds like your partner wanted to separate with you, but did not talk to you openly and honestly about it.

      I am also concerned that the Police have been involved around stalking. I, like I'm sure your solicitors are, would advise you to have no other contact with her other than through legal professionals at the moment.

      I think it might be helpful for you to contact the Men's Advice Line who will be able to talk to you a little bit more about your situation and unpick what has happened. Their telephone number is 0808 801 0327 and they are open Monday-Friday 9am-5pm.

      Take care,

      Luke

      This is Abuse team - 19/01/2014

  • Rosanna

    17/01/2014

    I never thought I would end up in an abuse relationship and I thought if I ever was I could walk away, it can happen to ANYONE. It is very easy to go into denile when being abuses. My ex was a drug addict who would steal my medication from me that I needed, threaten to hit me and call me such horrible things. If I ever tried to leave he would say he can't get by without me and manipulate me. All I can say is it is not your fault. Nobody deserves it and only they can change themselves.

    Rosanna - 17/01/2014

    Reply
  • annyomonus

    17/01/2014

    I have 2 children to my ex he was very violent with me before and after I was pregnant he got arrested I went I dropped the charges and got probation an a fine, I went bak to him I was stupid to I finally got out of the realtionship 6 yrs ago and he comes and goes to see the children now he says he wants to take me to court to get custody, he is threatening me by message that he will f*** me and my mum I really don't know what to do as I know what he is capable of from past history
    .

    annyomonus - 17/01/2014

    Reply
    • Hi,

      Thanks for getting in touch. It sounds like a scary situation to be in. If he is harassing you at the moment, then you might consider taking out a Non-Molestation Order against him. You can find out information on these orders on the Women's Aid website by following this link http://www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic-violence-survivors-handbook.asp?section=000100010008000100330002§ionTitle=Getting+an+injunction

      If he has had very little contact with the children, or at least not regular contact with them then it is unlikely that a court would give him equal joint custody. But it might be helpful to contact the Child Law Advice Line on 0808 802 0008. They offer free legal advice, and could talk you through your options regarding contact and a case if it were to go to court.

      Finally, I think it would be really helpful to tie in with your local women's service whilst this is going on. It will be helpful for you to have some extra support. You can find your local service by contacting the National Helpline on 0808 2000 247.

      Please note, if you ever feel scared or threatened then you should always call the police. If he has been involved with them before because of abuse towards you they will be extremely supportive if he has started being abusive again.

      Take care,

      Luke

      This is Abuse team - 19/01/2014

  • Anon

    17/01/2014

    well I have been with this boy for about 6 months now and I fell pregnant to him at the start I was just seeing him then as soon as I told him he asked me to go with him so I did but am staring to think was it the wrong idea to be going out with him in the first place, as soon as we became boyfriend and girlfriend he started to change he would of got angry at me for being out with my friends once a week when I would of spend the rest of the week with him and he would ask me about 20 questions who am with? Where am I? Who dose my friends hang around with? And sometimes he would get angry at me for texting my friends who I have been friends with before I even met him and then takes his moods out on me if someone made him angry and my friends are always telling me to finish him but I feel as if I can't because I am pregnant to him. What will I do?

    Anon - 17/01/2014

    Reply
    • Hi,

      Thanks for getting in contact, it must be a really difficult time for you, especially whilst being pregnant.

      Firstly, I would like to highlight that midwives have a duty to ask if you are experiencing any abuse during your visits to them, and they have to see you on your own at least once during the pregnancy, so this might be a good time to tell the about your partner's controlling behaviour.

      It seems like his behaviour is very restrictive, and must be having an effect on you. Especially whilst you're pregnant. He does not have the right to tell you who you can or can't see, and it is very unfair for him to do this.

      I do have some concerns around your experiences at the moment, and do think it would be really important for you to access some help or support. Your midwife will be able to put you in contact with a local service, but you can also call the National Helpline on 0808 2000 247. They will be able to ask you some more questions about the relationship and your partner, and will be able to discuss your options with you a little bit more.

      This could be quite a dangerous time for you and your baby, so I would recommend giving the helpline a call asap.

      Take care,

      Luke

      This is Abuse team - 19/01/2014

  • Sarah

    17/01/2014

    I don't know what to do. At the beginning of my relationship with my current boyfriend, I made some very bad decisions and mistakes where I met up with my ex boyfriend after having suicidal threats from him. I didn't tell my boyfriend about this for a very long time and after I came clean about this and told the truth he broke up with me. After 2 months, we are now 'seeing' eachother again- yet he doesnt trust me. I know this is my own fault- but he is constantly checking my facebook, my phone and who i'm talking to. He makes me feel guilty and worthless most of the time and I feel completely on my own and I can't speak to anyone about it. He also attempted to turn my friend against me after what happened. He gets considerably angry and it scares me. I love him to pieces but he has me under his strict control. I'm really in need of some advice and help because I'm struggling so much and fell completely helpless.

    Sarah - 17/01/2014

    Reply
    • Hi Sarah,

      Thanks for getting in contact. It sounds like a really difficult situation, and it must be really hard for you.

      The words you are using to describe your boyfriend, and his behaviour are not words we use to describe a healthy relationship, and you are aware of this, otherwise you wouldn't have come forward to talk to us. The problem is that you can't change his behaviour, he has to choose to do that himself. It sounds like, no matter what you do, he is still going to have these issues of trust and jealousy.

      We can't tell you what you can or can't do, that is your choice. But I would highlight, that you may need to think about what you would like to happen if his behaviour doesn't change? Do you want to stay with him, or is it time to cut your losses? Have you tried talking to him about his behaviour? If he is willing to address it would he talk to Respect? www.respectphoneline.org.uk

      I think it might be helpful for you to call the National Helpline on 0808 2000 247 to have a bit more of a chat about your options and what you might want to do next.

      Take care,

      Luke

      This is Abuse team - 19/01/2014

  • Anon

    16/01/2014

    I was a female victim of abuse who is now on a course of anti depressants due to the effect it had on me. I'm 19 years of age and should of known right from wrong but when it was inflicted by someone I loved, I didn't do anything about it, especially when he would repeatedly tell me it was my own fault and I deserved it.This went on for 10 months until HE walked away to his next "piece". I didn't know much about help lines or pages like this set up to help people until I saw the MTV advert which actually hit me hard when I saw how the "little" things built up where it left me with black and blue bruises and grazes from the violence. Thankfully I had the greatest and most supportive friends to get me through my experience and I'm positive I couldn't of made it through without them. It's made me a stronger person and I will never put up with it again. If anyone takes the time to read my short story, please know there is help out there, you should not put up with it and you sure as hell do not deserve it. Don't put up with it.

    Anon - 16/01/2014

    Reply
    • Dear Anon,

      Thank you so much for sharing your story. I can hear that you went through a lot with your ex and experienced a relationship with someone who hurt you a lot and had a an affect on your confidence. I’m happy to hear you have such good friends and you have showed such strength in your recovery. It’s great that you are in a better situation now.

      Have you had any professional support for the abuse you suffered? If not and you feel you would like some, this website is a good place to look.

      www.womensaid.org.uk

      Thanks again for sharing your story

      Take care,

      Becca

      This is Abuse team 18/01/2014

  • Veronica

    16/01/2014

    hi guys I can't find the post I posted here though there is a email that I got that there was a reply on my post that's why I kept on searching for it. can anyone help me out thanks.

    Veronica - 16/01/2014

    Reply
    • Hi Veronica,

      I have posted the comment again for you here-

      It is not silly at all. It sounds like your boyfriend is being really controlling. It is not ok to demand your passwords or to control who you can and can't speak to. This is not a healthy, respectful way to treat someone so you are right to be concerned.

      There is some advice here that may help: http://www.respectnotfear.co.uk/

      You can also come to our live chat if you want to which we run every mon-fri from 5-7pm to talk more.

      take care
      Jo

      This is Abuse team 18/01/2014

  • jordan

    16/01/2014

    Iv just come out if a relationship. He was nice to everyone. Really had me fooled. Checked my phone. Never let me out without him. He made me feel dirty and called me names intimidating me iv lpst confidence. Don't be fooled by these creeps tgey only do it to control cos in reality they know your better than them. Be proud of yourself

    jordan - 16/01/2014

    Reply
    • Dear Jordan,

      Thank you for sharing your story with people reading the site. I can hear that you went through a lot with your ex and experienced a relationship with someone who was very manipulative and used this as a way to gain your trust and then to abuse you. It’s great that you are in a better situation now, you were really strong.

      Have you had any support for the abuse you suffered? If not and you feel you would like some, this website is a good place to look.

      www.womensaid.org.uk

      Thanks again for sharing your story

      Take care,

      Becca

      This is Abuse team 18/01/2014

  • jemma

    16/01/2014

    im 19 I know it is quite young to be writing this but I have been in a relationship for the past 3 years and I lost all my friends because of him through school, I got bullied etc and now he is turning nasty to be, for the past year he has been nasty, he calls me names like b***h, S**t, C***.. he says im good for nothing piece of ugly c***... and ive found out he has lied to be a lot. there is always something I find out that he has done and he tells me everyone is lying. I don't know what to believe because there are some spiteful people where I live. he never says he loves me unless I ask him. he can never be bothered to meet me but he texts me when hes got nothing to do.. I feel like im just a routine for him and he not interested anymore. ive relied on him to much and my heart is breaking. he has put his hand up to me before and pushed me out his car. I know this is wrong but I need to know for sure that this is not normal.. he blames it all on me and I feel it is my fault. ive lost all friends and family because of him, I don't know how I would cope without him but im hurting/crying every day. hes 22 years old.
    sorry about it being a long post, I just need some help please :( don't tell me im to young or anything, ive heard it all before but I cant let him treat me like this no more. he threatens to hurt me every day and even when he says he wants us over. but he comes back every time.

    jemma - 16/01/2014

    Reply
    • Dear Jemma,

      Thank you for your message. I can hear how unhappy you are and how difficult you are finding things at the moment. You are in a very abusive relationship and you deserve some support. You have been really brave to post here and it’s the first step towards getting some support.

      The things you describe in your message are abusive and none of them is ‘normal’. What is happening to you is not your fault, your boyfriends treating you the way he is because he wants to. You have not done anything to deserve this. You say you are not sure who to believe, but it sounds like your boyfriend is lying to you a lot, outing you down and making you feel like you don’t even trust your own instincts. This is what abusive people do.

      You describe some things in your message that sounds dangerous, like pushing you from a car. That’s concerning and I’m wondering if you have anyone you could talk to about this, friends, family or a trusted adult. I would encourage you to call the 24 -hour domestic abuse helpline on 0808 2000 247. You can speak to them about how you are feeling and what options you could take. You might also want to look on this website for more information about domestic abuse www.womensaid.org.uk.

      You are crying everyday, which shows how sad and helpless this is making you feel. You can get some support Jemma and decide what you would like to do next to help yourself. There are people out there that can assist you with this. You might also want to look on this website

      http://www.respectnotfear.co.uk/

      We have live chat weeknights from 5-7, you can use it to talk about how you are feeling and get some support.

      Take care,

      Becca

      This is Abuse team 18/01/2014

  • Gemma

    16/01/2014

    Me and my (male) best friend have both been in an abusive relationship. Everything was good at the beginning but about 6 months later we didn't hang out as often and I didn't know why. Then I later find out that his girlfriend was keeping him from having any friends, she was always jealous when we hung out. We both went to cinema one day and he told her through text that he was with me, she went on a right fit and then started accusing him of cheating on her with me. In end she managed to completely isolate him from his friends and controlling him.
    As for my abusive relationship, we were always on and off. He brainwashed me into thinking that no-one will ever love me, if I didn't do as he said, he will throw against the wall and call me ugly, pathetic etc... then came the sexual abuse, he forced me to do things and when he asked if we could have sex, I always said no and would then accuse me of sleeping with other guys. It was a living hell for me. But I'm glad that we have both fought our way out of our abusive relationships and when we found each other, we both found strength to fight back and leave our partners for good :)

    Gemma - 16/01/2014

    Reply
    • Hi Gemma,

      Thank you for sharing your story with people reading the site. I can see you went though a lot and I’m pleased to hear you and your friend are now in happier situations
      Have you had any support for the abuse you suffered? If not and you feel you would like some, this website is a good place to look.

      www.womensaid.org.uk

      As you suffered sexual abuse, you could also call Rape Crisis, they are an organisation who specialise in working with women and girls who have suffered sexual violence. They can talk with you in a confidential and non-judgemental setting. You can reach them on 0808 802 (12 –2.30 & 7 – 9.30 everyday).

      Thanks again for sharing your story

      Take care,

      Becca

      This is Abuse team 18/01/2014

  • Jas

    16/01/2014

    I'm really worried about my friend who I think is being abused by her boyfriend. We've all been friends since school, we're 19 now. My friend has always been a fun person and really outgoing. She's been dating this guy for about 9 months now. He always seemed okay, a bit of a geek and a buffoon but harmless. I noticed at Christmas that my friend had changed, whenever this guy was with us she would be quiet which isn't like her at all. We had a bit of a chat and it seems he has been making fun of her for being funny and making her feel like she shouldn't be herself. I think this is abuse, she shouldn't be scared to be herself should she? She says sometimes he' s lovely though.
    He's even made things difficult for her in front of her family, threatening to reveal things to her mum. He does this in a jokey way but I still don't think its right. Anyone help me please? How do I tell her to open her eyes to what he's really like?

    Jas - 16/01/2014

    Reply
    • Hello Jas

      Thanks for your post and your friend is really lucky to have you showing such concern and looking out for her. Probably the most helpful thing you can do Jas is to keep on doing what you are already doing. An abusive relationship can very confusing and many girls will not talk about it because they feel embarrassed and are maybe worried about what will happen if they do. So having your around will be a great source of support to her. I think it is helpful for you to tell her that you are worried about her and not sure that this boyfriend is treating her in a respectful way. She may not want to hear this so you will need to pick your moment to have these conversations. Try not to tell her what to do but do tell her that you are always available for a chat and to help out if you can.

      If you find that she does start to open up and talk to you about the relationship maybe suggest looking a a couple of websites together. I would suggest looking at www.respectnotfear.co.uk ( for young people) as well as www.womensaid.org.uk Both of these sites have mini checklists to help women see if they can recognise any of the abusive behaviours in their own relationship so maybe you could do this together. If she ( or you) wanted to talk to someone for advice or to find out about local services you can call the national helpline on 0808 2000 247

      Seeing a close friend in an abusive relationship is probably upsetting for you too. Have you anyone you can talk to? Try and remember that you don't always have to DO something to help - just being there is one of the most supportive things you can do for her

      I hope things work out

      Take care

      Linda

      This is Abuse team 18/01/2014

  • Michael

    15/01/2014

    My girlfriend recently left me saying I have been verbally abusive to her, we have had a strained but loving relationship, I love her dearly, and we also live together. The problems that have dogged our relationship, among others are mainly to do with her ex boyfriend being constantly on the scene, she has said he is a best friend but its clear he still has feelings for her and has an strange hold over her. He is always over our place and they regularly see each other

    Michael - 15/01/2014

    Reply
    • Dear Michael,

      I can hear from your message that you are confused about your girlfriend leaving you because you had been abusive. It’s good that you felt able to post here and ask for some clarification and support.

      If a person is jealous they may feel justified in using abusive behaviour, such as verbal abuse, or trying to stop their partner doing certain things that upset them. This type of behaviour is not ok and is very damaging to the person who is being abused.

      While you may feel like you can not control your emotions you can control your actions and it might be good for you to get some support to help you with this, as it sounds like one relationship has been damaged and people hurt because of the way you have acted. If you choose to change it may make your future relationships healthier.

      There is a great helpline you can call to talk about this – they are available 9-5 weekdays on 0808 802 40 40

      I have attached a link to a pdf on jealousy you might want to look at.

      http://www.respect.uk.net/data/files/managing_jealousy_leaflet.pdf

      We have live chat weeknights from 5-7, you can use it to talk about how you are feeling and get some support.

      Take care,

      Becca

      This is Abuse team 18/01/2014

  • amibeingabused?

    15/01/2014

    I think I'm in an abusive relationship. I'm not sure. My husband has a very short temper about everything, slaps me, kicks me, twists my arm, grabs me by the throat, little violent outbursts like that which don't leave any bruises or marks but it hurts. In fact he's just punched me in the face about 30 minutes ago which has left a little swelling but will go down by the morning. When it first started I never questioned him or put my foot down to make it stop, I guess it's kind of my fault for not having a serious talk with him about it so maybe he thinks it's ok. I couldn't sit there and take the hits so I started to hit back but that doesn't stop him, he only hits back harder. He's a lot bigger than me there's only so much pain I can cause him in comparison to how much he hurts me so now I hit back lightly in case he causes some real damage. When he apologises he says I push him too far so maybe it is my fault. Is it ok to hit someone if you've been pushed? Should I hit back?
    I feel scared of him sometimes and I find myself walking on eggshells in case he hit me.
    A few times I've said to him that he's violent but he says what he does is not violence or abuse as it's nowhere near the violent abuse we see on TV where the female is left bleeding or kicked to unconsciousness, is that true?
    I can't can't to talk anyone, I feel ashamed and it's my fault because I push him to hit me. Is his behaviour acceptable because I've caused it?

    amibeingabused? - 15/01/2014

    Reply
    • Dear amibeingabused?

      Thank you for your message. I can hear just how much you are blaming yourself for what is happening and how difficult it has been for you to find the courage to write this. You are in a very abusive relationship and what is happening in not your fault. You have made the first step today towards getting help.

      All the things you describe in your message are violent abuse. What your husband is doing is illegal and dangerous. Your do not deserve to be hurt or attacked for any reason. You cannot ‘push’ someone in to hurting you. It was not your responsibility to tell your husband not to hurt you, he should not be hurting you in the first place. He is the one who is responsible for the abuse and he is the only person that can change it. You cannot make him stop – only he can choose to take responsibility for what he is doing and change. Which it doesn't sound like he wants to if he blames you for his violence?

      You say you are ashamed and you feel that because you have fought back you may have caused it. I understand that it feels shameful, but you have done nothing to feel ashamed of. You are not to blame.

      Have you spoken to anyone in your life about what is happening. Friends or family? If you don’t feel you can do this, you can speak to professional services about the abuse. There are lots out there and they will be able to give you some support and some advice about what to do next.

      I would encourage you to call the 24 -hour domestic abuse helpline on 0808 2000 247. You can speak to them about how you are feeling and what options you could take. You might also want to look on this website for more information about domestic abuse www.womensaid.org.uk. The way your husband is treating you is not ok and sounds dangerous, you deserve some support to help you deal with it.

      We have live chat weeknights from 5-7, you can use it to talk about how you are feeling and get some support.

      Take care,

      Becca

      This is Abuse team 18/01/2014

  • Hannah

    15/01/2014

    I have just come out of a long relationship with my ex bf ... He always used to lie to me and hide things and then I would find out about the lies or events to what he would be hiding and the get moaned at for making myself worry for finding out.. He told me all the time that I was crazy n used to just think things in my head when it's not really happening yet weeks or months down the line I would then find out the truth again n he lied again so I wasn't making anything up at all.. He never made me feel like I was the only girl... He used to completely turn his phone off on a night out then the next day talk to me and he would say his night was ok when I asked about it but if I asked who he was with he would always say just mates then once again days or weeks later I'd find a girl text him or see something on social sites and find out he had lied once again!! He never admits things when he gets caught out he just says I worry to much n I'm crazy n I think things that don't happen.. I'm not thinking anything I can't help that I see things in social site that he lies about or see things in his phone and he gets caught out.. He never even allowed me to be in any of his social sites as a friend he wouldn't even accept me on Facebook.. For what reason? And he broke up with me saying to me I'm to crazy and nutty and I need to see someone... I feel like now maybe I am crazy but all my Friends are telling me that I shouldn't think this because he was the one that always lied and manipulated me n tryed to hide stuff.. I feel so down and depressed now like it's all my fault everything's gone wrong.

    Hannah - 15/01/2014

    Reply
    • Hello Hannah

      Thanks for your message and it is a relief to hear that you are no longer in this relationship. Your ex boyfriend sounds very controlling and one of the tactics of abuse we often see is the perpetrator lying and twisting things so persistently that their partner really doubts themselves and feels they 'got it wrong' and that its their fault. This is clearly what your are describing.

      Abuse is a very confusing experience and even when someone separates from an abusive relationship the self doubt and confusion can remain for a long time. Its good to hear that you appear to have supportive friends who are reassuring you that you are not responsible for what happened and that you deserve a more respectful relationship in the future.

      It might be useful for you to look at the Women's Aid website on www.womensaid.org.uk( or the link below which is specifically about emotional abuse
      www.womensaid.org.uk › Domestic Violence A - Z › Emotional abuse‎) and see what aspects you recognise as this might reassure you that this is a common experience for many women. Talking to someone you trust will help you make sense of what has happened. It may be that your friends are able to provide this for you. However if your depression and low mood does not improve perhaps talk to your GP or call the national helpline on 0800 2000 247 as they can provide you with information about local support services in your area.

      Take care
      Linda

      This is Abuse team 18/01/2014

  • selina

    15/01/2014

    I been sex abuse by friend I meet on online and he thinks that I don't know him enough I meet up twice he thinks could get away with it he call some nasty name he don't nothing do with me he coming back online and then make feel my fault but his going on holiday. I don't think he should go I think hand up in air say l did it to he looks but if he going then should be lock up and put hand in air say he been in jail for what he to me so hard to deal with I no wonder he getting way with it police hard on him. But doing to other girl he can't understand why keep on saying things like know how treat women I didn't know he going be like that did really like him but he don't want me round I don't know what to do but my family don't want me go online but I want know if goings do same thing to another girl he using her

    selina - 15/01/2014

    Reply
    • Hi Selina,

      Thank you for your message. I can hear you’re really confused at the moment about the responsibility this person needs to take for what they have done to you and you don’t know what to do next. I’m pleased you have posted here as you have suffered abuse and deserve some support.

      You have been sexually abused by a person you met online who then tried to make you feel like what happened was your fault. What happened to you was not your fault, from what you write I can hear that you think he may do this again, or perhaps already has. This shows that he is a person who is an abuser and that there is nothing you could have done to make him act in a certain way. It is his choice to be abusive and only he is responsible for his actions.

      Have you discussed this with your family? Is this why they don’t want you to go online? If you have I’m pleased that you have that support. If not, and talking about abuse with people you know is too hard, you can call Rape Crisis, they are an organisation who specialise in working with women and girls who have suffered sexual violence. They can talk with you in a confidential and non-judgemental setting. You can reach them on 0808 802 (12 –2.30 & 7 – 9.30 everyday). The more support you have the easier it will be for you to decide what to do next.

      We have live chat weeknights from 5-7, you can use it to talk about how you are feeling and get some support.

      Take care,

      Becca

      This is Abuse team 18/01/2014

Pages << < 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 > >>

Results: 435 - 450 of 2084

Terms and conditions of use

Please read and accept these rules below before commenting. All of the comments you post on this website are treated confidentially and moderated.

Stay safe – don't include any personal information in your comments, such as your surname, email address, street address and phone number.

Don't include the personal details of anyone else in your posts (including boyfriend/girlfriend, parents, guardians, teachers, social workers or group leaders).

Don't go off topic - keep your comments relevant to the "This Is Abuse" debate. People want their opinions to be heard – don't shout them down.

Don't post crude, racist, offensive, violent or vulgar messages to the site.

Treat everyone with respect – even if someone has a different view to your own, don't let it get personal.

Don't glamorise illegal or dangerous activities, including violence of any kind. It's ok to talk about your experiences but you shouldn't encourage others to do anything illegal or dangerous.

Don't write anything that's untrue about anyone else (including boyfriend/girlfriend, parents, guardians, teachers, social workers, group leaders and famous people). Don't write anything that could harm anyone else's reputation.

This isn't a dating site – it's a platform to talk about teenage relationship abuse and your opinions on the matter; don't use it to meet or flirt with other people.

Don't write everything in CAPS – it's the equivalent of shouting and isn't polite or easy for everyone to read.

Don't post entire messages in text speak – it's ok to shorten some words but not everyone understands text speak or finds it easy to read.

It's ok to post links to other websites as long as they're relevant to the "This Is Abuse" debate and don't break the house rules in any way.

Don't break copyright rules. This means that you shouldn't post text you didn't write.