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This is ABUSE

Help uscall outabuse

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Tell us what you think about abuse in relationships

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TELL US WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT ABUSE IN RELATIONSHIPS

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An expert from Young People’s Services – AVA – is reading and responding to posts on the site, to ensure that responses are independent, sensitive and helpful.

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Results: 30 - 45 of 2146

  • Chelsey

    11/10/2014

    I don't no if it is abuse but every time we have an argument he always calls me a slag tramp and that IM worthless and threatens to hit me but hr hasn't he occasionally throws things at me but punches walls and doors and I always end up crying but when I do stand up to him he pulls my hair not really hard and he says he is gunna leave me but I dunno what to do should I leave him

    Chelsey - 11/10/2014

    Reply
    • Hi there

      Thanks for posting on the website. We’re sorry to hear you’ve been suffering emotional abuse. Abuse is wrong and never okay, it’s not normal, it can damage your confidence and your self-worth. Signs of this type of abuse can include someone putting you down, calling you nasty names, trying to control you and preventing you from doing certain things or making you do things you don’t want to do.

      We would encourage you to find someone you trust to talk to, it’s important you speak up about what you’ve been going through. This doesn’t have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and trust. If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does, you have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.

      If you’re under 18, you can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk in confidence about any problem. No problem is too big or small for them.
      Alternatively, you can go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.

      If you’re over 18, you can call the 24 hour National Domestic Violence Freephone Helpline on 0808 2000 247 (run in partnership between Women’s Aid and Refuge).

      We hope this helps

      Take care
      The This is Abuse Team

      This Is Abuse team 13/10/2014

  • Grace

    05/10/2014

    My ex was abbusive to physically, emotionally and mentally, I've been able to get help through the police, he did this to his other ex as well and just got probation, what do you think will happen to him, I don't want him doing what he's done to me or his ex to happen to other girls where we live, he also has mental health problems so he blames it on that,

    Grace - 05/10/2014

    Reply
    • Hi Grace

      I am really sorry to hear about the abuse you experienced. It is great that you are getting support from the police. Make sure you tell them everything that happened.
      It is really hard to say what the outcome will be, but if he was on probation for abusing someone else and you have then reported it as happening to you - this will be taken very seriously and will be a violation of his probation.

      Mental health issues are no excuse for abuse.

      I hope that you are ok and safe - you can always ring the 24 national domestic violence helpline on 0800 2000 247 anytime if you need some support or advice.

      take care
      Jo

      This is Abuse team - 12/12/2014

  • Anon

    04/10/2014

    I was 13 at the time and my boyfriend was 15, I'm now 14. One day me and my boyfriend had a discussion on how far 'I would go' I told him I didn't want to go any further then kissing, he brought uo the subject of 'fingering' me and I said no. The next day we met and he tried to touch me in places where I didn't want to be touched and tried putting his hand down my trousers, I pulled his hand away several times but he kept trying, so at this point I just let him, a few days later he broke up with me and also told my bestfriend he fingered me so it went round my whole school. I'm telling you this because I'm not really sure if this was wrong or not because I let him, it keeps going through my head and it's confusing. Thankyou x

    Anon - 04/10/2014

    Reply
    • Hi
      I am really glad you got in touch. What happened must have been really upsetting and I am not surprised it's going round your head.
      Ok, you clearly told him you were not ready for anything more than kissing and he did not accept this. He kept pushing and trying things despite you saying no and pulling his hand away. Just because you ended up letting him does not mean you wanted him to or that you consented - he did not give you any space to say no and be heard.

      You did nothing wrong. He was abusive and you were scared and upset - he did not have your consent. You were also only 13 so were too young to give consent anyway.

      I am really sorry that you friend also told the school about what happened, that must have added to the upset.

      Is there anyone you can talk to about this? A teacher or your mum or dad? I know it can be hard and feel embarrassing but honestly you did not do anything wrong. Try not to be on your own with him again, and remember that not all boys are like this. In the future you can have a great and loving relationship.

      This is a good site to get some more info about healthy relationships:
      http://www.respectnotfear.co.uk/

      I hope this helps,
      take care
      Jo

      This is Abuse team - 08/12/2014

  • Lincolnshire

    01/10/2014

    Unfortunately i am the abuser no excuses i should have known better. the woman i love i have very nearly lost due to my behavior both mentally and physically It was so easy to blame the wife for pushing all the wrong buttons never listening but she bravely stood up and said enough is enough. the last two weeks have been very demanding and extremly mentally difficult. i have taken time out to look at myselve and do i want to loose everything after all these years.This may be difficult to understand but i will not promise to my wife to stop this behaviour (something i have done many times) instead i have promised myself never to resort to bullying and being physical I will take time out and listen It may be quite late but the relationship has to be two ways some thing i should have learnt years ago.
    in conclusion if your reading this take time out to see if you are as nice as you think you are you might be suprised

    Lincolnshire - 01/10/2014

    Reply
    • Hi

      Thanks for your post. It takes a lot of courage to admit that you have been abusive and also to recognise how brave your wife was at telling you how she felt.

      It can be hard to change behaviour and attitudes alone though so I really suggest getting some support. There is a brilliant organisation called Respect who work with people who are abusive and help them to change and stop that behaviour. You can call their helpline and they can also tell you if there is a support group near you.
      www.respectphoneline.org.uk
      The Respect Phoneline is open Monday-Friday 9am-5pm.
      Call: freephone 0808 802 4040
      You can also email and they aim to reply within 2 working days: info@respectphoneline.org.uk

      Please do contact them and remember that you can change and your wife deserves a safe, loving and respectful relationship - as do you.
      Good luck
      Jo

      This is Abuse team - 08/12/2014

  • ANON

    01/10/2014

    I have been with my gf for coming on 2 years and from the start I had noticed that her family unit, mother, brother and sister were extremely close. My gf revealed that there had been a history of prior sexual abuse for them as children and the family unit had left the abusive father figure many years ago. Subsequently they are all very attached to each other with my gf extremely dependent on mother. As our relationship has progressed, I have seen how controlling and interfering these people are in regards to our relationship. There have been times when I have been threatened 'if I ever leave her I'm in trouble', constant pressure and innuendos about us getting married, interfering texts and phone calls from each of the family following periods where me and the gf have argued and she has been very upset. There doesn't seem to be the normal boundaries in place and my gf cant see this or maybe doesn't want to see how unfair this is and that she is far too dependent and close to mother. My gf is very needy and constantly tells me she doesn't know what she would do if I left her and I'm her world, etc. I feel like I'm stuck in a prison as I have been a nice guy and stood by her for this length of time talking to her about my concerns when these incidents have happened in the nicest non-confrontational manner hoping things might change, but I cant see the situation changing anytime soon. I am at my wits end and know that if I break up with her I will break her heart and worry about her reaction and that of her family as well. I feel trapped and just don't know what to do. I worry strongly that we are not even living together or engaged/married/kids at this point and if this is the way things are now, they will be unbearable later down the track. Any advice would be appreciated.

    ANON - 01/10/2014

    Reply
    • Hi
      Thanks for your message, that sounds like a really difficult position for you to be in.

      Experiencing child sexual abuse is very traumatic and can have long lasting impacts on people and how they form relationships. It sounds like you have already identified this as being linked to how the family are now behaving which I think is accurate. However, that does not make it any easier for you to help her but also have the space you need in the relationship.

      Do you know if your girlfriend has ever spoken to anyone about the abuse? This would be a really important step for her to be able to heal and discuss any issues she has personally and also that may be affecting how she feels in a relationship.

      There are a couple of great organisations that she could contact. One is rape crisis - about 65% of people who contact them are adult survivors of child sexual abuse. They will be able to listen and offer advice and support. She can also access counselling and info about the nearest centre to her.

      http://www.rapecrisis.org.uk/childsexualabuse2.php
      freephone helpline 0808 802 9999
      12 - 2.30pm
      7 - 9.30pm

      NAPAC are another organisation who support adults abused as children - http://napac.org.uk/
      Call free on 0808 801 0331- lines are open 10am till 9pm Monday to Thursday, 10am till 6pm on Friday. You can also email them - support@napac.org.uk
      They also have lots of useful leaflets on their site and details of local support groups.

      I think the only way for your relationship to move forward is for you to continue to support her and help her to access support to deal with what happened to her.
      But, this is your choice and you may feel that the relationship is not right for you. In this case it would also be important for her to have that professional support. I don't want you to feel burdened with responsibility, but to understand perhaps where this is coming from.
      You could also contact the services for advice about how best to help her and cope yourself,

      I hope this helps.
      take care
      Jo

      This is Abuse team - 08/12/2014

  • Luke

    30/09/2014

    I am 16, so is my girlfriend, we are in a 2 year long relationship, and over the years she has managed to take some pictures of me naked, and has sent them to my friends when she doesn't get what she wants. I have wanted to leave her before, but she threatens to send them around again and accuse me of rape (which I strongly deny). Any help?

    Luke - 30/09/2014

    Reply
    • Hi Luke
      I am glad you got in touch. It sounds like a really upsetting situation to be in. It is absolutely not ok for your girlfriend to be doing this. Taking images and sending them to your friends if she does not get what she wants is abusive.
      It is also not ok to threaten to say you raped her if you break up with her. I can see why you are worried. In fact, because you are under 18, what she is doing is against the law as she is technically distributing images of a child.

      Does anyone else know about this? I think it is important that you tell people - maybe someone at college or you can talk to a specialist organisation. Please don't be embarrassed, they deal with things like this all the time. The sooner you tell someone, the sooner it can be dealt with.

      Here is a really good site that explains more about what I have said and what you can do. Childline can help you and you can also fill out an online reporting form on a website called ceop:
      http://www.childline.org.uk/explore/onlinesafety/pages/sexting.aspx
      https://www.ceop.police.uk/ceop-report/

      You do not have to deal with this alone,
      I hope this helps,
      take care
      Jo

      This is Abuse team - 08/12/2014

  • Hannah

    30/09/2014

    back in november of 2011 a boy had sex with me in a back of his car. I don't remember much of the experience because I was at an almost unconscious level of drunkenness. What I do remember is that we had sex. I do remember crying, but I'm not entirely sure whether the crying happened before or during the act. The experience affected me a lot. After the incident, I got into my first proper sexual relationship. About six moths into the relationship, with the stress of uni i started to remember the incident and I began to be uncomfortable with my boyfriend or really anyone touching me physically. This could be any sort of touch bar maybe a handshake. For example, a university lecturer pat me on the back after I got an answer correct, and I internally freaked. Anyway, the touching thing obviously caused relationship strain, and for that as well as many other reasons, i eventually broke up with my boyfriend. I guess what my problem is is that I fear I will never be able to call what happened to me legitimate assault because I don't remember what happened. I could have been the survivor or a liar. I can never know whether I'm just someone that played the victim card to find a way to get out of a relationship or to gain sympathy, or whether I had a legitimate excuse to be upset. I have been getting some therapy over the past year and a half, and my therapist suggested that I accept what I do know; that i had an upleasant first sexual experience and that a person took advantage rather than try to name it. I am having a little trouble doing this though and at times i still just feel really insincere. With all the information available, is there a name I can give to what happened?

    Hannah - 30/09/2014

    Reply
    • Hi Hannah
      Thank you so much for your message. It sounds like what happened was very traumatic and has affected you a great deal. This is a totally normal response to what you went through. It sounds like you tried to suppress the memories but as you say, other stress made them come back to the surface. This then caused you to fear any kind of touch. Again, this is very normal given what you went through.

      The law says that if you are drunk you are unable to consent to sex, and therefore if someone does have sex with you this is officially rape. I know it can be a scary word to use but it may help you to know that you were not in any way to blame and you are certainly not a liar or trying to use what happened to end a relationship. You sound like you are having a genuine response to trauma and that needs a specific type of counselling to work through it.

      I suggest that you contact 'rape crisis' - they are a lovely charity that talk to people everyday who have been through similar experiences and can offer you confidential advice and support. They can also tell you about services and counselling near to you.

      http://www.rapecrisis.org.uk/
      freephone helpline
      0808 802 9999
      12 - 2.30pm
      7 - 9.30pm

      You do not have to keep on fearing touch, you can work through this and i hope this is the first step on that journey. Well done for being brave and talking about it,
      take care
      jo

      This is Abuse team - 07/12/2014

  • Anonymous

    30/09/2014

    Hi I have been in a relationship for 5years now got 4 kids one who is from a previous relationship the 5 year have been hell I get called fat ugly tolled no othere man will want me says am a bad mum and when I ask him to leave I get threatened really don't know what else to do now actually feel like talking my kids and running away

    Anonymous - 30/09/2014

    Reply
    • Hi
      Thanks for your message, it is good you are looking for support. It sounds like your partner is being emotionally abusive and also threatening. It is not nice to call you names and say that you are a bad mum, or to threaten you if you say you want to leave. I understand why you feel like leaving.
      Have you told anyone else about this? It can really help to talk to other people, you can always talk to a doctor, maybe someone at the kids school? They will be able to safely advise you. You can also ring the 24 hour free national domestic violence helpline on 0800 2000 247 and they can give you advice and tell you about local services. They can also advise you on how to safely leave the relationship. There are also some tips here:http://www.refuge.org.uk/get-help-now/

      I hope this helps,
      take care
      Jo

      This is Abuse team - 07/12/2014

  • Chloe

    28/09/2014

    I've been with my boyfriend nearly 2 years. He's lovely ad says he wants a life with me and make mehappy most of the time. He's suffered with depression for a while and often uses it to his advantage even though he got discharged and off his meds. He is incredibly controlling he has to put me on my bus so he knows I'm going home, controls who I see and he has to be there, I can obliging to pubs not clubs, he goes through my texts and says his finger slipped, I can't go to a guys house, I can't put kisses to anyone in messages, including him, he hates them... I have to be by his side most of the time. If I do t reply to him he'll ring me to see where am. He wants for me after work to put me on my bus. He's stolen all my fried, they choose him over me. He has a go at me for saying certain things like 'okay 'oh'. 'Yeah'. 'I don't mind'. We've been on a break before over this and he said he'd change so may times bus hasn't. He's ruined two of my birthdays by saying if I good out he'll smoke weed and self harm. What should I do to fox this??

    Chloe - 28/09/2014

    Reply
    • Hi Chloe

      Thanks for posting. We’re sorry to hear you’ve been suffering emotional abuse. Abuse is wrong and never okay, it’s not normal, it can damage your confidence and your self-worth. Signs of this type of abuse can include someone putting you down, calling you nasty names, trying to control you and preventing you from doing certain things or making you do things you don’t want to do.

      We would encourage you to find someone you trust to talk to, it’s important you speak up about what you’ve been going through. This doesn’t have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and trust. If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does, you have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.

      If you’re under 18, you can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk in confidence about any problem. No problem is too big or small for them. Alternatively, you can go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.

      If you’re over 18, you can call the 24 hour National Domestic Violence Freephone Helpline on 0808 2000 247 (run in partnership between Women’s Aid and Refuge).

      We hope that this helps.

      Take care,
      The This is Abuse team

      This Is Abuse team 10/10/2014

  • Anon.

    27/09/2014

    My ex threatened to leave if I didn't do a number of things. He wanted nude pictures and videos. I sent him the pictures because I was scared to lose him. But I couldn't send the video. He got really made and started sharing the pictures with everyone. He told me by the times he's finished I'll be famous and he's going to post it everywhere.

    I'm really scared he'll do it and I have no idea what to do.

    Please can you give me some advice

    Anon. - 27/09/2014

    Reply
    • Hi there

      Thanks for your message. It sounds like you're going through a really tough time and posting must have taken a lot of courage.

      Being pressured to send explicit pictures is abusive and is totally unacceptable, no one should be putting you in that position. It's also illegal to send indecent pictures of a person under 18 on to someone else.

      Please understand that what happened was not your fault and there was nothing you could have done to prevent it, don’t blame yourself.

      Please try and find someone you trust to talk to about what you're going through. It could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable talking to. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and trust. And if they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. You have the right to be safe and happy, and help and support is out there.

      If you’re under 18, you can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem, nothing is too big or small for them. They won’t judge you; they will listen, advise and guide you. Or alternatively you can go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.

      If you’re over 18, you can call the 24 hour National Domestic Violence Freephone Helpline on 0808 2000 247 (run in partnership between Women’s Aid and Refuge).

      Please do contact one of the services detailed above, they will be able to help you.

      We hope this helps.

      Take care
      The This is Abuse team

      This Is Abuse team 30/09/2014

  • Narmeen

    26/09/2014

    I have just come out of a emotional abuse and blackmail filled relationship. He would call me nasty things and never trusted me and therefore didn't let me do anything. He would tell me not to talk to people and not to go out with my friends. He didn't let me do what I wanted to and then started threatening to smash my face in. Although this if the case and im out of the relationship I really want to go back to him I feel so lonely and miss him. I know its messed up but I don't know what to do. J need help.

    Narmeen - 26/09/2014

    Reply
    • Hi Narmeen

      Thanks for your message - it sounds like you are going through a really tough time.

      We’re sorry to hear you have suffered emotional abuse. Abuse is wrong and never okay, it’s not normal, it can damage your confidence and your self-worth. Signs of this type of abuse can include someone putting you down, calling you nasty names, trying to control you and preventing you from doing certain things or making you do things you don’t want to do.

      It can be very hard to leave an abusive relationship - no matter what kind. A big factor can simply be love. Love is such a powerful emotion it can overrule anything else. Please remember that staying in a relationship where you are being emotionally abused could cause you to lose your self-esteem and confidence. An abusive, violent or controlling relationship is not normal or acceptable; nobody needs to tolerate this behaviour.

      We would encourage you to find someone you trust to talk to, it’s important you speak up about what you’ve been through. This doesn’t have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and trust. If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does, you have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.

      If you’re under 18, you can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk in confidence about any problem. No problem is too big or small for them. Alternatively, you can go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.

      If you’re over 18, you can call the 24 hour National Domestic Violence Freephone Helpline on 0808 2000 247 (run in partnership between Women’s Aid and Refuge).

      We hope this helps, and that you're able to get the support you deserve.

      Take care
      The This is Abuse team

      This Is Abuse team 10/10/2014

  • tammy

    26/09/2014

    I'm in an abusive relationship (mental, emotional,physical, verbal), we been together for 5 years. I have lost all strength. I a
    M no longer the same, I want to leave but his in my head so much that I believe I cant, if he leaves me I dunno how bt he makes it that I beg for him back, he refers to my past relationship all the time, ( I wasn't happy in that relationship either) this is my 2nd relationship, he calls me everything and anything, I cant do anything to prove to him I don't want my past or that I done nothing wrong in our relationship. He hits me, uses emotional abuse against me. My mood depends on his, so most days in angry,sad,fed up. I feel like I'm turning into bad person CUs I wish bad things upon him, I don't mean to but when it gets to me so much I do. He threatens my family(to me) I have lost ALL my friends over the years, the only one that knows is my brother but we don't talk about it I have just started sending him pics of my bruises w
    When it does happen. I just feel soooo alone and hopeless sometimes depressed. I'm scared and constantly emotional I jump at every sound I hear.
    I just want to be able to talk to someone who won't judge me, just know I'm not alone, any replies I would be so grateful.

    tammy - 26/09/2014

    Reply
    • Hi I understand you have no idea of who I am and where I am messaging from. But i know exactly how you feel and i have actually been there! everything except mine was for six years.
      It makes you feel as if your alone and honestly it destroys all confidence! you loose a lot of people and you become caught up in your own life too much to the extent where u may feel you cant live without him? But believe me there is somebody out there who will treat you exactly the way you need and when you find it it will make you realize so much! Do something i couldnt do and be the right person. The reason why hes saying all of these horrid things is because he knows he has something good and he is a coward and insecure in himself thats the only reason!! im sure your worth a million of him and you dont need me to tell you. Do something soon before its too late...

      Rabia - 20/10/2014

    • Hi Tammy

      Thanks for your message, we are so sorry to hear about what you're going through.

      Abuse is wrong and never okay, it’s not normal, it can damage your confidence and your self-worth. Staying in a relationship where you are being emotionally or physically abused could cause you to lose your self-esteem and confidence. An abusive, violent or controlling relationship is not normal or acceptable; nobody needs to tolerate this behaviour and if the bullying is making you worried you need to speak to a trusted adult.

      We would encourage you to find someone you trust to talk to, it’s important you speak up about what you’ve been going through. This doesn’t have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and trust. If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does, you have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.

      If you’re under 18, you can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk in confidence about any problem. No problem is too big or small for them. Alternatively, you can go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.

      If you’re over 18, you can call the 24 hour National Domestic Violence Freephone Helpline on 0808 2000 247 (run in partnership between Women’s Aid and Refuge).

      It can be very hard to leave an abusive relationship - no matter what kind. It’s also very important to leave the relationship safely. We would urge to think about completing a safety plan like this: http://www.respectnotfear.co.uk/keepingsafe/47-keeping-safe-in-an-unhealthy-relationship.html

      We hope that this helps, and that you're able to get the support you deserve.

      Take care
      The This is Abuse team

      This Is Abuse team 30/09/2014

  • Linda

    25/09/2014

    Is it against the law if someone calling me bad names

    Linda - 25/09/2014

    Reply
    • Hi Linda
      If someone is calling you names then that is not nice. It depends on who it is, if it is someone you are in a relationship with that can be a form of emotional abuse.
      The best thing to do is to tell someone, maybe someone at school/college/work or a parent or doctor?
      You don't have to go through this alone and do not deserve to be called names.
      take care
      jo

      This is Abuse team - 07/12/2014

  • Lara

    22/09/2014

    Hi i am 22years old . I just met this guy through a friend so we went to his house to have a cup of coffeee he tries to sexually abuse me. I got bruises everywhere.i feel so down and hate life and i feel no desire for anything

    Lara - 22/09/2014

    Reply
    • Hi Lara

      Thanks for posting, we are so sorry to hear what you've been through.

      If you’re being forced or pressured to have sex, or take part in sexual activity that you don’t feel comfortable with, that is totally unacceptable, no one should be putting you in that position. Please understand that what happened was not your fault and there was nothing you could have done to prevent it, don’t blame yourself.

      If you are unsure, examples of sexual abuse or assault can include being touched in a sexual way that makes you feel uncomfortable or frightened (this can be through clothes or not), being forced to watch others engage in sexual activity, being pressured to send naked pictures of yourself, sexting and being made to stimulate yourself or others.

      If this has happened to you, we would always encourage you to try and find someone you trust to talk to. It could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable talking to. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and trust. And if they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. You have the right to be safe and happy, and help and support is out there.

      As you’re over 18, you can call the National Freephone Rape Crisis Helpline to talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999, 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm. They offer counselling and support for women who have experienced any form of sexual violence, not just rape.

      Also remember that if you have been sexually assaulted you can speak to the police. Most police forces have specially trained police officers who can help. If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger, call the police on 999.

      We hope this helps, and that you're able to get the support you need and deserve.

      Take care
      The This is Abuse team

      This Is Abuse team 30/09/2014

  • ###

    19/09/2014

    I wnt to ask dat if any women got divorced from an abuseive man.....n den after divorce if dat man comes n abuse n do fights n all dat stuffs......den wat to do in dat case????

    ### - 19/09/2014

    Reply
    • If someone is abusive towards you, whether you are married, single, divorced it doesn't matter. It is abuse and is illegal. You can access support no matter what the relationship is. You can call the police or the free 24 hour national domestic violence helpline on 0800 2000 247.
      take care
      Jo

      This is Abuse team - 07/12/2014

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Please read and accept these rules below before commenting. All of the comments you post on this website are treated confidentially and moderated.

Stay safe – don't include any personal information in your comments, such as your surname, email address, street address and phone number.

Don't include the personal details of anyone else in your posts (including boyfriend/girlfriend, parents, guardians, teachers, social workers or group leaders).

Don't go off topic - keep your comments relevant to the "This Is Abuse" debate. People want their opinions to be heard – don't shout them down.

Don't post crude, racist, offensive, violent or vulgar messages to the site.

Treat everyone with respect – even if someone has a different view to your own, don't let it get personal.

Don't glamorise illegal or dangerous activities, including violence of any kind. It's ok to talk about your experiences but you shouldn't encourage others to do anything illegal or dangerous.

Don't write anything that's untrue about anyone else (including boyfriend/girlfriend, parents, guardians, teachers, social workers, group leaders and famous people). Don't write anything that could harm anyone else's reputation.

This isn't a dating site – it's a platform to talk about teenage relationship abuse and your opinions on the matter; don't use it to meet or flirt with other people.

Don't write everything in CAPS – it's the equivalent of shouting and isn't polite or easy for everyone to read.

Don't post entire messages in text speak – it's ok to shorten some words but not everyone understands text speak or finds it easy to read.

It's ok to post links to other websites as long as they're relevant to the "This Is Abuse" debate and don't break the house rules in any way.

Don't break copyright rules. This means that you shouldn't post text you didn't write.