HAVE YOUR SAY
Tell us what you think about abuse in relationships
If you've got something you'd like to talk about regarding any kind of relationship abuse, come and Have Your Say on our message board.
The chances are you'll be able to talk with someone who's gone through similar experiences to your own.
Seen the ads? What do you think?
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Is controlling who a partner sees or speaks to abuse?
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Sex with someone who doesn't want to is rape.
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Sex with someone who doesn't want to is rape.
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Is putting pressure on someone to have sex abuse?
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Is bullying, controlling and putting a partner down abuse?
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Is insulting and threatening a partner with violence abuse?
TELL US WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT ABUSE IN RELATIONSHIPS
If you've got something to say about abuse in relationships then you'll need to accept our terms before you can take part - please see our rules on the right side of the page. You can then enter your comments below or under any video you want to talk about.
Leyah
15/04/2013
It really shocks me that there are no videos/clips that have the men being in a situation where they are raped. I know it is more common in girls but rape happens to guys as well and I think we all need to recognize that. I am a girl and have never been raped thankfully but I think we should see at least one video where a guy is in the situation where we see him being pressured into sex.
Leyah - 15/04/2013
ReplyI know exactly what you mean. Women are not the only ones pushed into sexual activity, and we mustrespect the fact that we are not the only ones suffering.
blade - 26/04/2013
Hi Leyah,
Thanks for your feedback, we are sorry that you feel like this about the campaign.
We are aware that anyone can be a victim of abuse whether they are female, male, gay or straight, and we are also aware that most teenage boys have normal and healthy relationships. However, in abusive relationships the statistics show that it is usually the male in the relationship that is the abuser and the female the victim and therefore it is important for the campaign to reflect this.
Our objective is to help both boys and girls spot the signs of abuse in relationships and raise awareness of what is and isn’t acceptable behaviour, and although we depict a female victim in the advert, the messages are relevant for both boys and girls whether they are victims or abusers.
We have provided advice and information on the website which points all victims to the help they need - http://thisisabuse.direct.gov.uk/need-help - including specific help for male victims of violence and abuse through Respect and Survivors UK. The site is also a forum where young people can pose questions and discuss the issue with their peers and experts in the field.
We also work with partners such as the Dudley Safe and Sound partnership who have produced videos about male victims of abuse and those in gay relationships, which you can view by clicking on this link. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qt-U2ue-QmU
We have also produced a video in partnership with Broken Rainbow which is intended to provide advice and signpost help for LGBT victims of domestic violence: http://www.brokenrainbow.org.uk/latest-news.php
Lottie
15/04/2013
I was with this guy for ages and I thought he really liked me but he began pressuring me for sex and to perform sexual actions. I refused these and he at least accepted as I'm not 16 so it wouldn't be lawful. However, he did talk me into sending him naked pictures. I realize now that I shouldn't have agreed but I did. We don't see each other or talk now and although he said he deleted the pictures, I don't know for sure if he did and I'm worried what he will do with them. I don't know if what he did was emotional abuse but can I get some advice?
Lottie - 15/04/2013
ReplyHi Lottie,
Thanks for your message.
Yes, if your ex pressured you into sending naked photos of yourself then that is a form of sexual abuse. Being forced or pressured to have sex or take part in sexual activity that you don’t feel comfortable with is always unacceptable.
If you want to know more, other examples of sexual abuse can include being touched in a sexual way that makes you feel uncomfortable or frightened (this can be through clothes or not), being forced to watch others engage in sexual activity, sexting and being made to stimulate yourself or others. Please also remember that sex under 16 is illegal.
We would encourage you to find someone you trust to talk to about your worries - a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable talking to. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and trust. And if they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. Help and support is out there.
You can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem, nothing is too big or small for them. Alternatively, you can go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.
Nancy
15/04/2013
I have been with my boyfriend on and off for 2 years and he is very insecure. He abuses me verbally every time we have an arguement.. I do love him and when he is not angry we have a good time. But he has serious trusting issues and we end up arguing for silly things. Recently it has become very hard for me to carry on with this relationship but i would like some help for both of us. He keeps calling me names and insults me whenever he gets mad. I really need some help...
Nancy - 15/04/2013
ReplyHi Nancy,
Thanks for your message and we're sorry to hear about the way your boyfriend is treating you.
If he is emotionally abusing you (signs of this type of abuse can include someone putting you down, calling you nasty names, trying to control you and preventing you from doing certain things or making you do things you don’t want to do), it's unacceptable behaviour, it's wrong to treat someone like that and you shouldn't stand for it.
Abuse can seriously damage your confidence and your self-worth so we would encourage you to try and find someone you trust to talk to. This doesn’t have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and trust. If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does, you have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.
If you’re under 18, you can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem. No problem is too big or small for them. Alternatively, you can go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.
If you’re over 18, you can call the 24 hour National Domestic Violence Freephone Helpline on 0808 2000 247 (run in partnership between Women’s Aid and Refuge).
If your boyfriend wants help to change his behaviour, we would urge him to contact the Respect phoneline on 0808 802 4040 or log-on to their website at: http://www.respectphoneline.org.uk/phoneline.php
Julia
15/04/2013
When I was 14, I started seeing this boy, for months things were great, I could tell him anything and I just fealt like he was the one. Til a few months ago he decided it was time to take it further. He would stand behind me and hug me, this fealt comfortable, but after a while he would lean me against the wall and put his head against mine, but now when he does it, he pushes me against the wall with his hands on my bum and his parts against mine. I am not scared of sex, I have done it before. But is he taking advantage of the fact I am not a virgin?
Julia - 15/04/2013
ReplyHi Julia,
Thanks for posting.
Your boyfriend should not be taking advantage of you at all. If he is putting pressure on you to have sex or take part in sexual activity that you don’t feel comfortable with, it's unacceptable behaviour. Both of you should be aware that sex under 16 is illegal anyway.
We think you should let someone know the pressure your boyfriend is putting you under, and how it's making you feel. Please try and find someone you trust to talk to. It could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable talking to. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and trust. And if they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does, there are people can help you, you don't have to manage this on your own .
Remember you can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem, nothing is too big or small for them. Alternatively, you can go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.
Emma
15/04/2013
I was in an abusive relationship. I didn't see I at the time but looking back I definitely was. It was all okay until about a year into the relationship when he started calling me names, picking arguments with me and forcing me to apologise or I wouldn't hear from him for days and even when I did it was bare minimum contact until I gave in. When I told him things about me like I was a little self conscious about my weight or secrets about me like I'd had an invisible friend in my early teens, he would use those things against me in a fight to really hurt me and break me down, calling me fat and crazy and how nobody would ever love me. He once emailed me telling me he hoped I would feel the pain of my dead baby inside me from a miscarriage when I told him I wanted 2 girls when I was older, wished rape upon me and horrible horrible things. I could neve do right, and he forced me into performing sexual acts on video and pictures for him to keep to "make up" things to him. I can't believe how godamn blind and stupid I was and I am furious at myself for lettin myself be so ridiculous to keep that type of guy. He often calls and texts me trying to get me to talk to him again since I dumped him and told him to stay away from me. I have found someone else as in the first week of our relationship I can already see the way you should be treated in a relationship. You should be respected completely. I would also note that I kept makin excuses for him to family and friends as to why I was putting up with so much crap from him and that's just a sure sign that something isn't right.
Emma - 15/04/2013
ReplyDear Emma,
The way he treated you was not acceptable. Please don't blame yourself, it is sometimes very hard for you to think which way is right when you are with someone. I was shocked at what he put in that e-mail, but don't listen. People say spiteful thigs at the wrong times, and sometimes just don't realize it. Being pressured in a relationship is a very difficult thing. Please remember that no one can make you do anything that you don't want to do, or anything that makes you feel uncomfortable.
Blade x
blade - 26/04/2013
Hi Emma, I know it is easy to take responsibilty for staying in an abusive relationship but try not to. The person who treated you badly and abused you is responsible for behaving badly. It is just not at all your fault! However long it took you to realise that you were getting hurt and for you to get out is fine. I am glad you are safe now.
Winnie - 18/04/2013
aby
15/04/2013
i really need some help. i am 14 and one of my close friends ( also 14 ) broke up with her boyfriend about a month ago. ( her boyfriend was one year younger that us ). she recently admitted to to me and another close friend that she had given him a blow job and performed other sexual acts on him after being pressured into it. her boyfriend asked her again and again and again until she said yes. she seems ok with this situation but i dont think she realizes how serious this is. i dont want her to suggest that i do the same thing with my boyfriend. i know there is a possibility of this because at school her, my boyfriend and her ex are all close friends. lots of my friends tease me for not doing anyhing with boys i go out with. my friends have a history or things they have done with boys they meet ( this includes stripping on camera ). i am worried that i will be asked ( or my boyfriend will be encouraged to ask me ) to do things i dont want to do but more importantly i am worried about my friend. i dont want her to be used like this again. next time it could turn into something much more serious. i would really apreciate some help with this as i am very scared and am too shy to go anywhere else for help. thankyou for taking your time to read this and please help me if you can.
aby - 15/04/2013
ReplyHi aby,
Thanks very much for your message.
If either you or your friend have ever been forced or pressured to have sex or take part in any sexual activity that you don’t feel comfortable with, that is totally unacceptable, no one should be putting that on you.
If you are unsure of what is or isn’t classed as sexual abuse/assault, examples can include being touched in a sexual way that makes you feel uncomfortable or frightened (this can be through clothes or not), being forced to watch others engage in sexual activity, sexting and being made to stimulate yourself or others. It's also important to remember that sex under 16 is illegal.
It's good you messaged us, and we encourage you to try and find someone you trust to talk to about your worries and your concern for your friend. It could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable talking to. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can open up with and trust. And if they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. You have the right to be safe and happy, and help and support is out there.
If you don't think you can talk to someone close to you, please don't keep it to yourself, you can always call ChildLine on 0800 1111 in confidence to talk about any problem, nothing is too big or small for them. Don't be scared to call them, they won't judge, they will listen, advise and guide you, they're there to help. Alternatively, you can go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.
Caylem
15/04/2013
My girlfriend was sexually abused as a teenager by her step-brother. She says she would like to have sexual intercourse with me, however, whenever things become more intense, she panics, bursts into tears and leaves, I'm trying to understand, but this is really hard as I was also physically abused by my father, but I managed to get over it, i'm trying to help her, it's just really taking the strain on our relationship, what should I do?
Caylem - 15/04/2013
ReplyDear caylem,
Try comforting her. It obviously scarred her emotionally, and something like that is hard to forget. She has said she would like to have sexual intercourse with you, but tell her that she does not have to feel obliged to do it. She knows that you are the furthest thing from her step brother, but remembering what happened brings up trust issues. Don't think that it is any of your fault, it is very difficult to move on. I am glad you moved from your abuse, but it takes dkfferent amounts of time for everyone. I hoped this helped, us eleven year olds don't know much.
Blade x
blade - 26/04/2013
Hi Caylem,
Thanks for your post.
Your girlfriend may need professional help and your encouragement and support to help her with what happened in her past. We would encourage her to talk to someone in confidence about the abuse she's suffered and the impact it's having on her now, as well as on your relationship. Abuse can really damage confidence and self-esteem, so please encourage her to talk to someone she trusts about what happened, and don't put her under pressure to have sex or take part in any sexual activity she doen't feel comfortable with.
If she's over 18, it would be best to call the National Freephone Rape Crisis Helpline to talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999, 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm. They offer counselling and support for women who have experienced any form of sexual assault/violence, not just rape. The helpline can also provide a source of support to friends and family of survivors, to understand how best to support female survivors of sexual violence, so you can also call them for advice and guidance.
If your girlfriend is under 18, you can both speak to ChildLine on 0800 11 11 or visit www.childline.org.uk where you can contact ChildLine by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.
If you want to speak to someone about the abuse you yourself suffered please contact the Men's Advice Line in confidence on 0808 801 0327 or log-on to their website at: http://www.mensadviceline.org.uk/mens_advice.php
rhianna
15/04/2013
my boyfreind has hit me what should i do
rhianna - 15/04/2013
ReplyHi Rhianna,
Thanks for your message.
Please understand that abuse is wrong and never okay, your boyfriend should not be treating you like that. If you’re suffering from physical abuse, signs of which can include slapping, kicking, hitting or injuries as a result of violent behaviour, it’s really very important to try and find someone you trust to talk to. It could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable talking to. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and trust.
If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does, you have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.
If you’re under 18, you can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem. No problem is too big or small for them. Alternatively, you can go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.
If you’re over 18, you can call the 24 hour National Domestic Violence Freephone Helpline on 0808 2000 247 (run in partnership between Women’s Aid and Refuge).
You can also hear from a survivor of domestic violence here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7a8fsrPEaYQ&list=UU697e0rGEZK8tO-qmFN6kag&index=3&feature=plcp
Kaylee
14/04/2013
My boyfriend sometimes gets overly mad at me, I hope he'd never do anything to intentionally hurt me, but once I refused to tell him my bra size, and he flipped out telling me I was disgusting, nothing but a vile slag, I apologised over and over, then finally he apologised, he sent me loads and loads of apology messages, claiming "he was moody, he loves me really etc, he was sorry" that sort of thing, but, recently at a friends sleepover, he tried to touch me in a sexual way, I politely refused, but he got mad, and I don't know what to do? Is this abuse?
Kaylee - 14/04/2013
ReplyHi Kaylee,
Thanks for your message.
From what you've said your boyfriend is exhibiting signs of controlling behaviour which in turn can be a sign of emotional abuse. Signs of this type of abuse can include someone putting you down, calling you nasty names, trying to control you and preventing you from doing certain things or making you do things you don’t want to do. Have a look at the Spot the Signs page of the site for more information - http://thisisabuse.direct.gov.uk/worried-about-abuse.
If your boyfriend is also forcing or pressuring you to have sex or take part in sexual activity that you don’t feel comfortable with, that is totally unacceptable. We would always encourage you to try and find someone you trust to talk to, it’s important you speak up about your boyfriend's behaviour. This doesn’t have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and trust. If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does, you have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.
If you’re under 18, you can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem. No problem is too big or small for them. Alternatively, you can go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.
If you’re over 18, you can call the 24 hour National Domestic Violence Freephone Helpline on 0808 2000 247 (run in partnership between Women’s Aid and Refuge).
Lydia
14/04/2013
I know it can't be easy, but why don't they just break up with them? Especially if they are doing that.
I feel greatly sorry for anyone who is actually dealing with this sort of abuse, everyone should be allowed their own privacy.
Lydia - 14/04/2013
ReplyDear Lydia,
I knew what you mean about breaking up with them. But it is never that easy. People are often threatened with weapons or even death. It scars them to be hurt, so they are made to stay.
Blade x
blade - 26/04/2013
sarah
14/04/2013
i think its good there is a lot more help for victims. i was gangr*ped when i was 22 and to be honest there was no help at all out there. it still affects me now even though its over 10 years later. your adverts are helpful but are not on enough channels
sarah - 14/04/2013
ReplyCharlie B
14/04/2013
It wasn't until I moved in with my ex-boyfriend that I realised he was abusive. He was a bully, would manipulate everything I did & invaded my social networking sites and texts regularly to make sure I wasn't speaking to anyone else. He would be out most nights drinking with money he'd stolen from me, and he later admitted that he had cheated, then came home and had sex with me which, he said, made him feel powerful. He refused to get a job and to stop stealing and taking loans out in my name, I had to change my bank card so many times. On two occasions he got drunk and raped me, the first time he did it he was forceful, the second time he said he would kill himself if I didn't have sex with him. The last time he raped me was the last time I saw him. He called me a few weeks later on my pay day demanding money or he'd send naked pictures of me to my work, and when I didn't he got very angry and said he was coming to kill me and my family. He didn't like that I wasn't folding to his demands. He didn't in the end, and I have not heard from him. I am still traumatised from the hell he put me through, and I am worried about what I will be like when I next have a boyfriend, whether I will feel comfortable having sex or trusting him. My ex was abused as a child, so I think it is a classic case of the abused becoming the abuser. That wont happen to me. I know what he did was wrong, even if I didn't at the time. What you have to remember is no matter how in love you were or how many hopes you had for your future together, know the signs of abuse and get out, because there are so many men out there that would treat you like a princess.
Charlie B - 14/04/2013
ReplyHi Charlie B,
Thanks for sharing your story and for giving good advice.
If you're still traumatised and worried about how the past abuse will impact on your next relationship, we'd encourage you to talk to someone you trust about what happened to you. Or alternatively, call the 24 hour National Domestic Violence Freephone Helpline on 0808 2000 247 (run in partnership between Women’s Aid and Refuge) in confidence for advice and support.
Leah
14/04/2013
Hello
It states "Tell us what you think about abuse in relationships"
There is also abuse outside relationships, when I was younger I was abused by my boyfriend. I wasn't happy and I told my best friend. She and her boyfriend were there when I broke up with him. He kept texting me and sending me threats, the police was notified.
Abuse is a very bad thing, some abusers might think they are better than everyone else. They are wrong, we are all the same, and just because one person doesn't want to do something, it doesn't mean that you can make them do it. For example, if you are an abuser reading this. How would you like to get hit for every single thing you do? Or get shouted at for not replying fast enough on facebook?
If there is something I can't stand its people who don't respect other people. I really wish we all could live in peace and harmony.
To people who have been or are being abused, Stay strong, pull out of it, never let anyone walk over you, if you're male, female, you should stand up for yourself. If you can't do it on your own, talk to anyone for help. If you're a guy, and your girlfriend abuses you, let someone know. Pride is just a thing between your ears, safety and health are more important. If you're a girl, just try to get away from your boyfriend, if he shouts at you for not being with him or tries to hit you get someone to be there, and break it off. Don't be ashamed, don't feel stupid, its not shameful or stupid to seek help.
I wish you all the best. Be Peaceful, help eachother, work together, and wait until someone is ready. If you can't do that, I suggest you go on a field trip with some water and food, try to calm down think about stuff, you think you're right, but ... try thinking of being in their shoes.
Thank you for reading this.
Leah - 14/04/2013
ReplyCA
13/04/2013
When i was 14, i got with a boy 3 years ollder than me.i turned 15 2 months after we got together, and 3 months after i turned 15 he started pressuring me for sex, or to perform sexual acts on him. whenever i refused, he'd cause an argument, and sometimes even threaten me, so eventually i gave in and slept with him. after this our relationship became based on sex. around this time, i started having real problems at home with my parents, and didnt feel comfortable there so moved in with my boyfriend. a few days after i moved in, i found out he was taking drugs (smoking weed, doing cocaine etc) and didnt like this. i told him, and he got really angry, and, after an argument, he hit me. he apologised straight after, and i forgave him, thinking it was a genuine mistake and he regetted it. but he carried on taking drugs, and every time i brought it up we would argue and he'd hit me. I covered up the bruises at school, telling friends id fallen over or walked into walls. i also found out that when my boyfriend was going out, he sometimes cheated on me with other girls. after i brought this up with him, and threatened to move out, he grabbed my hair, punched me in the stomach, and told me if i left him or told anyone, he'd kill me. i believed him and was too scared to say anything. I became increasingly paranoid, so started going out with him when he went to parties, just to keep an eye on what he was doing. when we were at these parties, he would encourage his drunk or high mates to 'have a feel' of me, and once he and 5 friends took me into a room and forced me to strip for them. once, he even told me to perform oral sex on his friend. it was the scariest, most humiliating thing ive ever done, but i knew that if i compained, he'd hurt me or worse, but i knew this couldnt carry on, so i told a close male friend of mine, and asked him to come over to help me pack my bags and leave. only, when he got there, my boyfriend flipped out, accused us of sleeping together, and started attacking my friend. i called the police, and my boyfriend got arrested for assault, but my friend didnt press charges, as he said he didnt want me to go through any more. ever since this, ive moved back home, but havent told my parents, or anyone else what has happened. it's been months since i last saw my boyfriend, and im terrified what will happen if he decides to come and see me. however, i am extremely grateful of the support i receive from my friend, but im scared he'll get hurt too. i just dont know what to do.
CA - 13/04/2013
ReplyHi CA,
Thanks very much for posting on the site.
What you've been through is horrific, we are really very sorry to hear about all the abuse you've suffered at the hands of your ex.
It's good you have the support of your friend; we would urge you to speak to your parents about what's happened and about your worries, they would want to help you manage this. If you don't think you can do that, it’s still really important you find someone else you trust to talk to about what’s been happening - a teacher, another relative, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable talking to. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and trust. And if they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does, you have the right to be safe and help and support is out there, you’re not on your own.
You can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem, nothing is too big or small for them. They won't judge, they will listen, advise and support you. Alternatively, you can go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.
You can also hear from a survivor of domestic violence here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7a8fsrPEaYQ&list=UU697e0rGEZK8tO-qmFN6kag&index=3&feature=plcp
Please take care and be sure to speak to a trusted adult to get the help and support you deserve, don't keep this to yourself.
Secret
12/04/2013
Hello I don't know where to start really this seems to be my only way of talking about what I'm going through. I have been with my boyfriend for 3years since I was 15 at the start it was amazing everything seemed perfect a year into our relationship the more he made me lose contact with my friends making me feel guilty for seeing them and not him.mthen he made me delete every boy off of my phone and facebook. He moans if I go on facebook , he makes me tell him who I work with everyday I'm not allowed to speak to no boys I'm not allowed out, to families parties anywhere where there might be boys , even days out with my family he makes me feel guilty. He constantly puts me Dow I suffered from anorexia from getting bullied about being fat now he is doing the same o me bullying me he calls me fat too even though he knows about the bullying and the suffering I have been through I cry everyday because if him, he has spat and slapped me. I want to be strong and walk away but I cant when he's nice he nice but when he is nasty you know about it I want to be the bubbly girl I used to be when we first got together I could so end my life right now and trust me I have thought about it so many times it seems like the only way out I love him but I'm an emotional state what's stopping me is my amazing family I could never leave them :( I just don't no what to do. Maybe I don't deserve to be treated right :( I don't understand I let him go out go on facebook twitter have girls on his phone I recently found out he also had a secret twitter where he spoke to girls does he do this cause he has a guilty conscience he says he will change all the time but how when he hasn't yet can a leopard really change its spots I need help :( this is breaking me into thousand shattered pieces.
Secret - 12/04/2013
ReplyHi Secret,
Thanks for posting.
We’re really sorry to hear you've been suffering emotional and physical abuse. Please understand that abuse is wrong and never okay, your boyfriend should not be treating you like that, you deserve so much better. What he's doing is not your fault, do not blame yourself - the responsibility lies solely with the abuser, never with you. You have nothing to feel ashamed or guilty about.
An abusive, violent or controlling relationship is not normal or acceptable, and nobody needs to tolerate this behaviour. Abuse can seriously damage your confidence and your self-worth so it's really important you speak to someone you trust about what's happening in your relationship, even more so if you've been feeling suicidal. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and trust. If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does, you have the right to be safe and happy, and help and support is out there.
You can also call the 24 hour National Domestic Violence Freephone Helpline on 0808 2000 247 (run in partnership between Women’s Aid and Refuge), they will be able to help you as well, offering the support and guidance you need and deserve.