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Results: 1 - 15 of 2281

  • Chania

    27/05/2015

    Hello,

    I'm not sure if this really accounts for abuse, and I'm loathed to think it is as that's such a strong term to use.

    I went on a night out with my friends, and friends of friends, and I got terribly drunk to the point I couldn't walk and my words slurred and my friends had to put me into bed. Later on their friend, this guy who I wish to keep anonymous so I will call him James asked if he could come round to see if I was okay. In my state I didn't think anything of it so I just said yes. He came round and didn't physically force me or make threats but he made me feel guilty for him coming round and me nothing doing anything sexually with him. I wasn't experienced and definitely did not wish anything to happen and even said no but he pressurised me and touched me intimately. Then he talked me into giving him oral sex. I refused initially, but he kept talking me into it making me feel guilty so I did it, then threw up after wards and passed out.

    Ever since I have not been intimate with anyone because I am slightly scarred by what happened.
    I wasn't sure if this counts as abuse or not? Especially as I was intoxicated
    Thank you

    Chania Chania - 27/05/2015

    Reply
    • Hi Chania.
      Thank you for getting in touch. I’m really sorry to hear about what happened to you. It is totally unacceptable to be forced or pressured to have sex, or take part in sexual activity that you don’t feel comfortable with. No one should be putting you in that position. Please understand that what happened was not your fault and there was nothing you could have done to prevent it, don’t blame yourself.

      If you are unsure, examples of sexual abuse or assault can include being touched in a sexual way that makes you feel uncomfortable or frightened (this can be through clothes or not), being forced to watch others engage in sexual activity, and being made to stimulate yourself or others.

      I would encourage you to try and find someone you trust to talk to. It could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, or anyone else that you feel comfortable talking to. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and trust. And if they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. You have the right to be happy, and help and support is out there.

      If you’re under 18, you can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem, nothing is too big or small for them. They won’t judge you; they will listen, advise and guide you. Or alternatively you can go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.

      If you’re over 18, you can call the National Freephone Rape Crisis Helpline to talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999, 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm. They offer counselling and support for women who have experienced any form of sexual violence, not just rape.

      Also remember that if you have been sexually assaulted you can speak to the police. Most police forces have specially trained police officers who can help. If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger again, call the police on 999.

      Take care
      Amie
      This Is Abuse team

      This Is Abuse team 29/05/2015

  • shannelle

    27/05/2015

    I dated this guy for 2 years now our first months we were not that serious and still on open relationship but then after 3 months he said we should continue it seriously, so I agree to it but then those guys that I've been chatting will still perusing me, and yet I ignored them , Iour relationship goes very well we enjoy each other company and become friend with his friends. One time we were arguing about a friend of mine thathe doesn't like he end up chocking me and push me on my sit it the car,after he did that he went outside the car and went back to say sorry, on my mind I thought his okay but I am shaking and scared , but I started to act cool then I reenact how he choke me then on that moment he did it one more time.then he said sorry and I forgive him he even told his mom what he did. Now after a year I am not feeling comfortable of him cuz Ialways catch him chatting with girl's and flirting with them. His reason is it's just a friend and there the ones that helps him for his career in modelling. Then later this Sunday I got a Call from a friend that he saw my boyfriend in the club and he didn't even mention his going there, I am keeping my cool cuz I want to confront him personally but I can't help but I release my anger. So yeah it happened I slapped him then hereturn a good punch on my right that leave me a black mark. Then his saying sorry but he doesn't want to be with me anymore.
    And I am here stupidly still and willingly want him back.. am I in the right set of mind to do it? Or I should just let him go as what he is also wanted to do cuz his regretting seeing me I'm hurt.

    shannelle shannelle - 27/05/2015

    Reply
    • Hi Shannelle. Thank you for getting in touch.
      I’m really sorry to hear what’s happening. Please understand that you are not to blame for your boyfriend’s controlling and abusive behaviour and I would really encourage you to speak to someone about this. There are people who can help. You can call the national freephone domestic abuse helpline on 0808 2000 247 who have trained advisors who can give you support and advice. I really hope you give them a call.
      Amie
      This is Abuse

      This Is Abuse team 28/05/2015

  • Kathy

    25/05/2015

    It's Kathy again,could I go to the police

    Kathy Kathy - 25/05/2015

    Reply
    • Thank you for your reply. Speaking to the police is an option but you might find it helpful to talk to an expert who can tell you more about contacting the police and the process and what to expect before you make the call to the police. You can find details of suitable organisations on the Need Help page here - http://thisisabuse.direct.gov.uk/need-help
      If you do decide to report it, most police forces have specially trained police officers who can help.
      If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger, call the police on 999.

      Kerry
      This Is Abuse team

      This Is Abuse team 27/05/2015

  • Chelsea

    22/05/2015

    Ive been with my partner for a year and a half. There are so many questions i have, and so much confusion its so hard for me to talk about, or write about. ( is that a normal feeling if you are being abused?) My first and most thought about question is, how can i be 100% sure im being abused? I have researched it for months, and my partner does everything ive ever read about on any website that helps you recognize abuse, but whenever i have ever tried to bring it up to him or show him, he won't look, or even let me read it, he gets infuriated, and he will literally make me look in his eyes and he will say " i do not abuse you, do you understand?" Or " chelsea, i am not abusive, i am not abusive, okay? Ive thought about the fact i might be before, and i just know thats not me." He says horrible things to me on a daily basis, things i could never imagine saying to someone i love. Instead of writiing in senteces im going to make a list.

    -I am not allowed to voice my opinions unless they coincide with his, especially when it comes to our relationship, him hurting my feelings, his heroin addict friends, or aanything he doesnt want to talk about.

    - He says my opinions infurate him because of how stupid they are,and he says will not listen to or even take into consideration stupid opinions or ideas.

    - He spits in my face, breaks my stuff, has busted my lip, left bruises all over my body, squeezes my face really hard and basically everything but hit me with his fist.

    - If we are not in person an i try to talk to him about something he doesnt want to talk about he will tell me eithet i stop talking about it or he will stop talking to me. He has blocked my number on multiple occasions, and not talked to me for days.

    -He has made me hate myself, and question everything i thought i knew, i have no self confidence, and i dont even remember who i was before i dated him.

    -He uses every single kind of intimidation. His expressionS, his voice, his silence, force, withholding affection, calling me names, threatening to leave me.

    -He doesnt have a job and he doesnt like to go do stuff unless its what he likes to do. Which is going out to eat or going to the movies. When we stay at home and do things we watch what he wants to watch. Etc.

    -He is allowed to be himself and do whatever he wants but if i sleep too long, get on my phone, take too long in the bathroom, take too long going to get something down stairs, or anything he doesnt want me to do, i get in trouble, and if i stick up for mmyself it gets worse, ive learned to just agree and apologize. He sometimes will spend hours in the bathroom on his phone, if i mmention it, he denies it and says im exaggerating, and if i dont drop it he gets infurated. He is sometimes on his phone for hours at a time but if i am on my phone for 10 or twenty minutes he starts saying " are you going to hang out with me, youre alway on your phone" and ill try to bring up the fact he is on his all the time,and he gets angry, so of course i apologize and say i wont do it again. I really dont understand how i could be on my phone for 20 minutes, and he is on his for hours, and he really believes it when he says i havr been on mine all day.

    -I dont remember the last time he told me he likes something about me, or complimeted me. I am always sweet to him, rubbing him, kissing him, telling him he is handsome.

    - whenever i start to confornt him about somethig im upset about i am nice and polite,when its him he is mean, and sarcastic.

    -he has never been happy with me, i am always being told to change something about myself. His degradation towards me has made me hate myself, i am physically and mentally exhausted from walking on egg shells and trying to be perfect for him. The only things i have ever even thought about him changing are the ways he treats me. But ive never been alowed to tell him..

    I could keep going with the list, but just typing this exhaust me. Please tell me if you relate, or if there is something i can do to show him what he is doing to me. I am currently not speaking to him. I havr done everything in my power for him and our two children ( one is mine, one is his) my money goes to bills and to them, my time goes to work, errands and them. There isnt a thing i wouldbt do for them, i dont understand how he doesnt see how much i love him and our family. Since day one he has questioned my love and loyalty him. He he is 23 and lives at his dads and ha no job.. i dont understand how he doesny see how much i llove him and how hard ive tried to make him happy, or how muvh pain he is putting me through. I dont understand. Someone tell me what to do.

    Chelsea Chelsea - 22/05/2015

    Reply
    • We’re sorry to hear you feel you are suffering abuse in your relationship. Signs of this type of abuse can include someone putting you down, calling you nasty names, trying to control you and preventing you from doing certain things or making you do things you don’t want to do. Abuse is wrong, never okay and it’s not normal.

      We would encourage you to find someone you trust to talk to, it’s important you speak up about what you’ve been going through. This doesn’t have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and trust. If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does, you have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.

      You can call the 24 hour National Domestic Violence Freephone Helpline on 0808 2000 247 (run in partnership between Women’s Aid and Refuge).

      This Is Abuse team 27/05/2015

  • nikki

    20/05/2015

    Hi I've bin with my partner for 2yrs at one stage we lived together and have a lil child together but found wen we was living together he was dependent on my money whenever I ran out he'd get angry at me throw things even when I was still pregnant and controlled my visits to families places couldn't go out without him knowing even to shop and we lost our place due to people selling he made me move to his family where I never was comfortable as he ws angry every morning making it seem like it was my fault his family saw this and said nothing then i went back to work things became more verbal calling me names even in front of child seem to pick up on it and kept quiet when he'd start only being less then one,then September's last year when again didn't have money to take him with me on train he kick off big time grabbed me by my throat wouldn't let go coz I stood in his way of him trying to leave with our child saying that he was keeping it and I was to leave without child because I wouldn't back down Id had enough and wouldn't risk leaving it with him his nan wad goner call police as his older child from someone else saw him holding me by the throat he eventually left I got on train ,I found he had got on the train and was apologising for what he done and it wad drugs doing it and he would get help which he has,but even now I cant trust him fully with our child I've kept visits down to every other weekend for those reasons would like to no if I've gone about this right coz he makes me feel guilty for him not seeing our child enough

    nikki nikki - 20/05/2015

    Reply
    • Hi Nikki, thanks for getting in touch. I’m really sorry to hear what’s happening. Please understand that you are not to blame for your boyfriend’s controlling and abusive behaviour and I would really encourage you to speak to someone about this. There are people who can help and you can call the national freephone domestic abuse helpline on 0808 2000 247, they have trained advisors who can give you support and advice. I really hope you give them a call as no one deserves to be treated like this.
      Kerry
      This is Abuse

      This Is Abuse team - 21/05/2015

  • Kathy

    20/05/2015

    I went out one night with two boys by myself,they were both 4th year and I was only 2nd,but I thought they seemed like nice lads,but they took me to the forest,he grabbed my hand to walk threw,I didn't take it like he wanted more,I thought he was giving me a hand to get threw,once we found a seat he tried to make me sit on his knee and pulled me down,I said NO,but then he got up and tried to kiss me,his hand all over my body and bum,I said no,he put his head into my chest,and kept going in to kiss me,I said NO and he said why and I told him I was getting with another boy,which just made him grab my body harder,he said I was fridget him and his friend laughing at me saying I was pathetic,a little girl,he even took my SIM card to try and make me kiss him,I decided to try and leave he pulled my arm but then I ran they laughed at me when I tripped,I ran as fast as I could out of that forest and tried to get home,I couldn't sip crying,I got into my house feeling dirty and pathetic,I just wanted to shower I could feel his hands on my body,I felt disgusting,I changed from then,I got less confident struggle with my weight,I ust to be confident and happy,loved life,now I just think of him most days and I cry,they said no one would know because I wasn't someone they would want people to know about because I'm ugly ..is this abuse/assault?i just want closure!

    Kathy Kathy - 20/05/2015

    Reply
    • Hi Kathy, thanks for getting in touch. I’m really sorry to hear what’s happened and I would really encourage you to speak to someone about it. Forcing or pressuring you into any sexual activity, even kissing, is totally unacceptable and no one should be putting you in that position. You can call Childline on 0800 1111, they will listen and give you advice to help you talk about what happened. Or you can visit their website www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email or text or chat to a counsellor online. I really hope you get in contact with them as they will be able to help you.
      Kerry
      This is Abuse team

      This Is Abuse team - 21/05/2015

  • Anon

    20/05/2015

    The other weekend I got really drunk and stayed at friends with some other friends. One of the guys I was good friends with. When I woke up he told people he had touched me intimately but I am too drunk to remember and worry I was too drunk to say no. Now I can't bare to think about him without feeling sick. I don't know who to talk to or what to do.

    Anon Anon - 20/05/2015

    Reply
    • Hi, thanks for getting in touch. I’m really sorry to hear what’s happened and there are people you can talk to about this who will be able to help you. I’m not sure how old you are from your post but if you are under 18 you can call Childline on 0800 1111, they will listen and give you advice to help you talk about what happened. Or you can visit their website www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email or text or chat to a counsellor online. If you are over 18, you can call the National Freephone Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247 to speak to a trained adviser. Please understand that what happened was not your fault and you are not to blame, I hope you get in contact with one of the organisations as they will be able to help you.
      Kerry
      This is Abuse team

      This Is Abuse team - 21/05/2015

  • Anonymous

    19/05/2015

    Hi, I'm not really sure if I was abused or whether it was just a mistake/misunderstanding on my boyfriend's part, and I'm not sure how serious this incident was either. I'm just looking for some advice about how I should treat this incident.
    We were both drunk, and after climbing into bed I told him that I was tired and wanted to sleep in a drunken mumble. He didn't really want to sleep though and was probably too drunk to really understand me, and went under the covers and performed oral on me, while I tried at least four or five times to push him away and say 'no' but I struggled to say it clearly enough as I was so tired.
    He then got on top of me and began having sex with me, and after mumbling 'no' twice more he asked me if I wanted him to stop and then I asked him to stop a final time.
    He instantly felt terrible, and got tearful as he didn't want to be a 'rapist' and he's been apologetic ever since. I do genuinely feel that if I would have said 'no' in a clearer voice, it would have stopped instantly because I know he would never do anything on purpose to hurt me.
    How should I feel about this, and is this my fault?

    Anonymous Anonymous - 19/05/2015

    Reply
    • Hi, thanks for getting in touch. I’m really sorry to hear what happened and please understand that it was not your fault and you are not to blame.
      You don’t have to say a clear no to indicate that you don’t want to have sex, people can indicate they don’t want to have sex in many other ways, for example, as you said, pushing your boyfriend away. It’s up to your partner to check for your consent every time you have sex, no matter if you are in a relationship or have had sex before and even if you are both drunk.

      It sounds like you were very clear that you did not want to have sex and that to begin with he ignored that, which is not ok. It is good that he eventually asked you if you wanted him to stop and then did so, but this should not have happened in the first place.

      It's also good that he is apologetic and understands that what he did was wrong, but there is no excuse for forcing someone to have sex against their will.

      Do you feel safe with him? Do you think this could happen again? If you feel you need support there are people you can talk to, such as rape crisis http://www.rapecrisis.org.uk/

      Remember, this is not your fault and you don't have to try to cope alone.

      Take care.
      Kerry
      This Is Abuse team

      This Is Abuse team 27/05/2015

  • Anonymous s

    16/05/2015

    Hi, I'm 17, I'm not really sure what abuse is or how to define what counts as abuse, however, I was really close with this guy and then he got a girlfriend, which was ok because I never felt anything more for him but friendship. He invited me to a party of his and I was drunk and he invited me up to his room and claimed it was "to sleep". He then started kissing me and I said "no stop I can't do this you have a girlfriend" he continued and said "no come on its already happened now" and pulled me on top of him. I couldn't speak to him after and I was genuinely scared when I seen him in school because it feels like he has something he can hold against me if I ever step out of line.
    Then about a month later a video of someone pulling my shirt and bra up, showing my breasts was sent around a few year groups in my school. The same boy decided to send it to a whatsapp group of boys that I was also in. I felt like he was just trying to publicly embarrass me and now I can't even look him in the eye. He's made me feel so small and claimed that "It was just a joke" and that he thought if find it funny. I've been having nightmares as a result of this drama and my sister touched me earlier and I cried. I don't know if I've been abused, which is why I'm here, I'm just confused about the whole thing. I know there's people with problems a lot more important tgan this but I don't know how much longer I can stick getting laughed at and called a slut. Is this abuse?

    Anonymous s Anonymous s - 16/05/2015

    Reply
    • Hi, I’m really glad you got in touch and I’m sorry to hear what’s happened to you. Forcing you to do something that you don’t want to is abusive behaviour and sharing images or video of you is totally unacceptable and if it is done without your consent then they are breaking the law. I would really encourage you to speak to someone about what’s happened, as you are under 18 Childline can provide you with help and support. You can contact them on 0800 1111, they will listen and be able to give you advice and support on what happened. Or you can visit their website www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email or text or chat to a counsellor online.
      Kerry
      This is Abuse team

      This Is Abuse team - 18/05/2015

  • anonymous

    13/05/2015

    hi, I am 20 years of age, I have a 8 month old bab. with my boyfriend of 5 years. he never used to get physical until I was pregnant...things have got worse. he will pull my hair, bite me, put pillows over my face, hold me down and lick my face, all of this is done while my son is sleeping next to us. I Have no proof of this as he deleted all pictures of my phone...he constantly puts me down, and he's also cheated on me with prostitutes. he always seams to have some kind of hold over me...I can't trust him with my son, but he's made sure there is no proof to take him to Cort with. Yesterday after shopping he threated to break my nose when we got home, he through all my food away & through water over me.
    What steps can I take next? Is this abuse? How can I keep him away from my son? How can I get proof?

    anonymous anonymous - 13/05/2015

    Reply
    • Hi, thanks for getting in touch. I’m really sorry to hear what’s been happening to you. Please understand that your boyfriend’s behaviour is abusive and there are organisations which can help you. There is a freephone national domestic abuse helpline which is available 24 hours a day, you can call them on 0808 2000 247, they will be able to give you advice and talk you through the support which is available for you. However, if you ever feel in immediate danger from your boyfriend you should call the police. I really hope you give the helpline a call as you don’t deserve to be treated like this and they will be able to help you.
      Kerry
      This is Abuse team

      This Is Abuse team - 13/05/2015

  • Lauren

    10/05/2015

    Hi! I'd been seeing my boyfriend on and off for three years and felt at times that I really loved him and wanted to be with him. But many things throughout our relationship have caused me to feel really low. He would pressure me into sending indecent pictures of myself and often wouldn't take no for an awnser. I gave in twice in three years when I felt closer to him but ended up feeling awful about myself afterwards. I'd always clearly told him I don't feel comfortable with it. Also in bed he would constantly try and pressure me into doing a certain act which I told him I really didn't want to do. But he carried on asking and trying it often. Because I thought I was in love with him and wanted to please him I was torn between my feelings. But in my gut I didn't feel right or comfortable with what he wanted and often after he got what he wanted I would feel really really low about myself. I was often in tears after sleeping with him. I don't know if this counts as absuse as I was consenting and some of our sexual experiences were really enjoyable. Maybe it's normal for some men to want to try things with someone they are sleeping with? I hope it's normal but why do I feel so bad? Please give me some advice. We've broken up now and I'm really depressed but mainly because of this experience rather than loosing him

    Lauren - 10/05/2015

    Reply
    • Hi Lauren, thanks for getting in touch. I’m really sorry to hear what’s been happening in your relationship. If you are being forced or pressured into any sexual activity that you don’t feel comfortable with that is totally unacceptable, no one should be putting you in that position and it is abusive behaviour. Even though you have now left the relationship I would still encourage you to speak to someone about what’s happened. I’m not sure how old you are from your message, but if you are under 18 you can get help and advice by calling Childline on 0800 1111, they will listen and give you advice to help you talk about what happened. Or you can visit their website www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email or text or chat to a counsellor online. If you are over 18, you can call the National Freephone Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247 which is available 24 hours a day.
      Kerry
      This is Abuse

      This Is Abuse team - 11/05/2015

  • Anonymous

    08/05/2015

    Hi, Im a 21 year old female. I have been with my ex for 6 years. I believe I was in an somewhat emotionally abusive relationship where my ex use to call me all sorts of names and use tell me how ugly i was yet he would not dump me. Whenever we go to the stage of breaking up he would make me feel guilty about breaking up with him so i never left him. I felt so trapped. I use to cry myself to sleep. He never was caring or loving. I paid for everything he did. Whenever we got into an agument he would make it as if though it was my fault. For example once I was upset that he called me a s*** , whore and all the above and he said that he would not have to call me that if I did not make so angry so I ended apologising. He was fun to hang around with but i knew i did not want to be in a relationship. Then one day i got a call from a girl, and she told me she dated my ex for three months. He was there with her when she made the call. She was crying. I cried. But the sad thing was that he chose her and not me. He said to her that i wasn't s***. So this was the end for me. I cried for a week or so and then i picked myself up! It was the best thing that happened to me. I felt free. I felt myself again! But recently my ex started contacting me. So i ignored him but one day he went mad and kept calling me. Apparently the girl that he cheated on with me (though he won’t admit it and says that she is crazy and made it all up and he was not there when she called through his phone) is telling everyone that he cheated on her so he is now going to ruining my life. I don’t know how that makes sense but that apparently made sense to him. I said to him 'but if you didn't cheat on me with her why are you ruining my life because she is telling everyone you cheated?' he has no answer. I know he cheated on me because she has shown me proof and everything added up when she told me but i can’t understand why he is threatening me. So he has a video of me which he took a year ago though i didn’t want him to take it and i told him a million times not to he still took it. He promised me he deleted but then the other day he threatens to put it up on instagram and facebook. He said he kept the video for a day like this where he would use it against me. He said the only way i can stop it is if i get back with him or give him oral sex. So i said i will get back with him so he doesn't do. So that night once he calmed down and i said i will get back with him he promised he won’t put it up. This conversation all happened over the phone. So after we ended the call he started sending me the screen shots of the video and telling me how good i look in it. I feel like he was tormenting me. I just got rid of that phone. I don't want to be with him. The thought of being with him is making me cry. I feel so trapped. I never want to be in relationship with him. He constantly tells me how ugly i am and how im such a whore. He laughs when i cry. I just want him to disappear. What do i do? I feel trapped. Im not sure if this is an emotionally abusive relationship but i just need advice or help. I feel like when im with him i was to just end my life. He makes me feel so unhappy. How do i get rid of him? i don't want to make him mad so he can leak my pictures. I have sent him pictures of myself years ago which i did not want to send to him but he use to tell me that if i don’t give it to him someone else will or he will not talk to me. I know i sound stupid. Can i just get some advice?

    Anonymous - 08/05/2015

    Reply
    • Hi, thanks for getting in touch. I’m really sorry to hear what’s been happening to you. Please understand that your ex-boyfriend’s behaviour is abusive and it’s not your fault. I would really encourage you to speak to someone about what’s happening, you can call the national domestic abuse helpline on 0808 2000 247, which is available 24 hours a day. They have trained specialists who you can talk to in confidence and they can provide advice and support on what is happening.
      I really hope you access some help, nobody deserves to be treated like this.
      Kerry
      This is Abuse team

      This Is Abuse team - 11/05/2015

  • gabrielle

    08/05/2015

    Ok so there was this guy and stuff happened, my friends said in the end that he sexually abused me which I was actually starting to believe before they told me, ge hurt me sooo many times, I did know I could cry bout something so many times, so to get my own back I said that I was pregnant I know I shouldn't of and I know that I shouldn't of cuz it wasn't right, the thing is I actually do think that I am but the test came up negative, he kept asking and asking me to do a test, and once I gave in and done it, he went really rage at me, he was shouting, breathing really heavily, kicking things and throwing things, he snapped the test in half well tried anyway, the lid just came off and it split a little.
    He really really scared me I genuinely didn't know what to do, I went outside in the end, he was saying all kinds of things one thing was that he wouldn't hit a girl and that he was really restraining himself from doing anything, as if I wasn't scared enough that really scared me that is what made me go outside, I don't know what this means, is it verbal abuse, was he just angry, how can I help being scared is there things I can say or do to help or to get him to calm down.
    I told him that he needed to go home and he made his point that he wasnt going to and then I told him to calm down and he got even worse like so much worse, I had to stop myself from crying and going to do my habbits.
    I don't know what to do, do I need to get some help with it cuz it cant go on.

    gabrielle - 08/05/2015

    Reply
    • Hi Gabrielle, thanks for getting in touch. I’m really sorry to hear what you’ve been through, it sounds really scary. If you are being forced or pressured into any sexual activity that you don’t feel comfortable with that is totally unacceptable, and no one should be putting you in that position. I would really encourage you to speak to someone about what’s happened. You can call Childline on 0800 1111, they will listen and give you advice and support on what’s happened. Or you can visit their website www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email or text or chat to a counsellor online.
      Kerry
      This is Abuse team

      This Is Abuse team - 11/05/2015

  • JLY

    30/04/2015

    I'm a 24 year old gay male and have been in a relationship with my other half for 5 years, we've been living together for 4 years. He's 34 and is considerably more wealthy than I am. We live in a house that is mortgaged under his name. He has been psychologically abusive towards me for months now, telling me how ugly I am and that he's going to kick me out of our house and I'll be left homeless with nothing. I do work and have been paying towards the mortgage for 4 years now. He never used to be like this and until recently was very sweet and caring. I don't know where I stand legally, can he just kick me out of our house at a moments notice? He has threatened this before but I've just ignored it and he's eventually apologised and things went back to normal but he's doing it more frequently now. I know I should leave but I really don't want to have wasted the last 5 years of my life, not to mention when I moved in with him I moved really far away from friends and family and have no where to go. Feeling really low and trapped.

    JLY JLY - 30/04/2015

    Reply
    • Hi, thanks for getting in touch, I’m really sorry to hear what’s been happening within your relationship. Emotional abuse is never acceptable, it can damage your confidence and your self worth and I would encourage you to talk to someone about what’s happening. Broken Rainbow runs a helpline staffed by highly trained operators who will be able to give you advice on and support. You can call them on 0300 999 5428, or email them at help@brokenrainbow.org.uk and there is further information on their website on the support they provide and how to contact them www.brokenrainbow.org.uk. Please remember that this is not your fault, you don’t deserve to be treated in this way and there are people that can help you.

      Kerry
      This is Abuse team

      This Is Abuse team - 01/05/2015

  • John

    25/04/2015

    Hi, ive been in a relationship for 14 months now and weve had our ups and downs over that period. Numerous times after arguments shed threaten to hurt herself and that made me stay. Im currently in a bit of debt so I told her about it and she took it well till she went off the rails 2 days later and started pushing me, we sorted things out. Today she belittled me and called me alot of names, so I said im going to my dads and packed a bag including my laptop, she got up pulled my bag and my laptop smashed she then repeatedly hit me in the face and all over my body, I got her by the throat and told her to stop it but she carried on. I feel so low and dont know what to do, shes give me a black eye, cut ear and arm and my ribs are sore

    John John - 25/04/2015

    Reply
    • Hi John, thanks for getting in touch. I’m really sorry to hear what’s been happening. Sometimes people threatening to self harm use this as a method of control, to stop you leaving them. Also, physical violence is never acceptable and I would encourage you to talk to someone about what’s happening in your relationship. The men’s advice line is a confidential helpline for men experiencing domestic violence from a partner. You can contact them on 0808 801 0327 (calls are free from landlines and most mobile phones) and their trained advisors can provide help and emotional support to you. You can also email them info@mensadviceline.org.uk or visit their website for more information www.mensadviceline.org.uk

      Kerry
      This is Abuse team

      This Is Abuse team - 29/04/2015

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