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This is ABUSE

Help uscall outabuse

HAVE YOUR SAY

Tell us what you think about abuse in relationships or ask a question to one of our trained advisors

If you've got something you'd like to talk about regarding any kind of relationship abuse, come and Have Your Say on our message board. And if you’re worried about anything to do with abuse, whether it’s in your own relationship or a friend’s, you can ask one of our trained experts for advice.

Have a read through the discussion boards, the chances are you'll be able to talk with someone who's gone through similar experiences to your own.

Seen the ads? What do you think?

  • Sex with someone who doesn't want to is rape

    [71 comments]

  • Abuse in relationships isn’t always physical

    [134 comments]

  • Would you recognise abuse if you saw it?

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  • Emotional Abuse

    [72 comments]

  • Controlling Behaviour

    [5 comments]

  • SPOT THE SIGNS OF ABUSE IN A FRIEND’S RELATIONSHIP

    [10 comments]

  • Mandem On The Wall

    A trio of friends meet at the place they love to jam - The Wall. Tinie Winie has a new girlfriend and with advice from the Mandem crew learns how to treat her with respect. The trouble is he gets it wrong and ends up becoming someone he doesn't want to be....

    [134 comments]

  • Twist and Pulse

    Twist and Pulse visit George Mitchell school to perform their latest dance routine for the pupils and talk to them to see if they are in the know about relationships.

    [0 comments]

  • Charlie McDonnell

    Watch Charlie McDonnell’s video about Sex, and most importantly, about Consent.

    [0 comments]

  • Bedroom

    Is controlling who a partner sees or speaks to abuse?

    [156 comments]

  • Liam & Beth - Recognise abuse when you see it

    [8 comments]

  • Ryan & Jade - Recognise abuse when you see it

    [5 comments]

  • Sam & Alice

    [12 comments]

  • If you could see yourself

    Sex with someone who doesn't want to is rape.

    [538 comments]

  • Zoe's story

    Sex with someone who doesn't want to is rape.

    [538 comments]

  • Party

    Is putting pressure on someone to have sex abuse?

    [100 comments]

  • School

    Is bullying, controlling and putting a partner down abuse?

    [79 comments]

  • Takeaway

    Is insulting and threatening a partner with violence abuse?

    [169 comments]

TELL US WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT ABUSE IN RELATIONSHIPS

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Results: 270 - 285 of 2036

  • lauren

    03/02/2014

    I am 30 years olld I just wanted to kind of write something for the people that are in an abuse relationship, I myself was in a very abusive realtionship. I was with my partner for 12 years and we have an 11 year old child. To begin with things were ok but then not long after having my child things turned for teh wrose, he was very abusive towards me, very jelous and controling he didnt like me seeing my friends or family, and constanly accused me of having an affair ( when i wasnt) he not only used verbal abuse it would be physical from headbutting,punching and strangling me to burning me with a lighter. I was always to scared to leave due to what he would say he would do to me, But eventually one day I woke up and could not take any more, where i went a seekd help at a womens refuge and it was the best thing i done, they helped me through my court case with setting up access so he could still our child, helped to re house me helped me financally, and helped me to gain an injunction against him in court where he cant contact me, I am starting to live my life and it is great, I no longer feel scared and i nothing to do with him, they really are amzing people. I have since met someone new who is amazing and treats me wonderful, My only regret is that i didnt do it sonner for both me and my child, There are people out there who can help. Please dont suffer any more than you have to!

    lauren - 03/02/2014

    Reply
    • Hi Lauren,

      Thank you for getting in touch.
      Your story is reassuring for others to know that there are services available to offer all kinds of support to victims of domestic abuse.
      You say that your only regret was not leaving sooner but you need to remember you did the best you could at that time for you and your child. By sharing your story you can help people who are in similar situations and the fact you have being able to move on to having a healthy relationship gives hope that not all relationships are abusive.

      Take care
      Sarah

      This is Abuse team 04/02/2014

  • concerned mum

    03/02/2014

    I was married to my children's father, who said he didn't abuse us because he didn't punch us! As that had been his childhood experience, during which he'd felt helpless.
    Unfortunately my children only ever had his role modeling to guide them, as we were rarely able to have friends and only saw family occasionally.
    My teens are far better now its not so raw but they have contact with Dad. How can I help them to not be like him? A lot they don't agree is abuse because 'norm' and their teen heads. Please help.

    concerned mum - 03/02/2014

    Reply
    • Hi,
      Thanks for your message. Abuse is not always physical there are other ways in which a person can control us without physically hurting us. It must have been hard for all of you not being able to have friends around and only seeing family on occasions.
      Have you tried to speak to your children? If so when? Children need time to adjust to changes so if you spoke to them as soon as you and your ex-husband separated the timing might have not being right.
      Having consistent boundaries and you being clear on what behaviour is acceptable and unacceptable will help your children.
      For more information you could contact your local domestic abuse service or visit www.womensaid.org.uk
      You can also come and chat with us Mon-Fri 5-7pm on live chat.

      Take care
      Sarah

      This is Abuse team 04/02/2014

  • Donna

    03/02/2014

    I am 22 years old and have been with my boyfriend for just short of 2 years. Occasionally he'll 'play fight' with me, to the extent of pulling my hair, bending my fingers back, pulling my arm behind my back, even repeatedly hitting me over and over again on my head/ear, but he says he's 'play fighting'. About a month ago, I said I don't like it when he does this, he hurts me and takes it to seriously. I've even seen him using all his strength so he tenses and I can see his body shaking because he's tensing and using all his force on me when he's 'play fighting' with me - to the extent my eyes begin to water. I try to hide the pain he causes me infront of him, because when I first began to wonder if he was deliberately trying to cause me pain, I didn't want him to think he was succeeding, so I try to hide it, but more so lately he's been getting more forceful with this 'play fighting'.
    Also, for quite some time now I have wondered if his actions in the bedroom could be considered as forceful and/or unacceptable behaviour. As he lives so close to my house we see each other most days, practically every day of the week, and with this he wants sex every single day I see him - he'd have it 2/3 times a day if he could. But I know every time he sees me, we HAVE to have sex at the end of the night before I can go home again, if I try to say I've had a long day at work and I'm tired, expecially towards the end of the week, he gets very moody, won't speak to me, says 'I don't know why I bother trying to be nice to you, its just wasted' as if he's only been nice to me that day because he was hoping for sex at the end of that night...
    There has been times about a year ago, where I'd be falling asleep and he'd be trying to sexually feel around me, whilst I had my eyes close and was barely awake. One time I leant over to reach my phone off the side of the window ledge which is next to his bed, and in the few short seconds I did that, he literally pulled my pants down as i was on all fours, and forced himself inside me, without any foreplay, ect, which obviously hurt me a lot at the time.
    I did confront him about this, about 10 months ago, and we broke up for a short space of time due to his lack of respect towards me. Since then we have continued our relationship as he said he'd changed and he'd realised what he'd lost. Since then, he still expects sex every single day, even when I'm to tired and even ill. Only a couple of days ago, I was very ill, full of a cold and cough, we'd gone up to bed and I said my eyes felt really heavy and I was exhausted as I'd barely slept the night before due to being ill. He offered to give me a massage as I said my whole body was aching from the cold, so I accepted, I told him to be gentle as I was tender and weak from being ill, however I should have known what he expected at the end of this massage favour. As I lay on my side, slowly drifting off to sleep and relaxing, he began forcing his fingers around my private bits trying to sexually excite me, I knew full well what he wanted, and I know I had no choice but to lay there and just let him have sex with me, even though I didn't want it and I was practically asleep, dosed up on paracetamol and medicines.
    He does this type of behaviour quite often to, if I try to say I don't feel 'in the mood' for sex or I'm tired/ill, he'll just carry on and on 'trying' to get me in the mood, I know when he begins doing this I have to basically lie there and just let him do it, or else he'll 'have a paddy and a strop'. Then a few times when I have been to tired for sex, he'll say things after it like 'its like having sex with a dead person' or 'could you look anymore lifeless having sex with me? you know how to make me feel special don't you Donna!' I reply by saying 'I tried to tell you I was to tired' but again he retaliates with another derogatory comment.
    I have felt as though i'm just a piece of meat to him, and since us splitting up about 10 months ago I'd hoped all that would change. However his behaviour in the bedroom recently again is making me question is this kind of behaviour normal in relationships? I know lads are supposedly 'sex mad' and stereotypically want it a lot more than girls do, but surely to expect it every single day is not right?!...

    Donna - 03/02/2014

    Reply
    • Hi Donna,

      Thanks for getting in touch, it seems like so many aspects in your relationship are abusive, and that must be really tough for you.

      Firstly, it is very clear that he is using physical abuse against you. The playfighting seems to have got very much out of hand, even when you have tried to address it with him he doesn't want to stop this, and it sounds like you are getting hurt.

      I am also really concerned about the sexual acts that are taking place, from an outside perspective then I would say this is rape. He is pressuring you to have sex when you don't want to have sex. By him forcing his fingers inside you without your consent then this is sexual assault. It is not acceptable, it is not your fault but his actions are not ok.

      By pressuring you to have sex, and you 'giving in' and having sex with him to keep him happy is still classed as sexual assault. I think you are spot on when you highlighted the lack of respect he has for you, if he had respect for you then he would accept that you are tired or ill and know that is not a good time to have sex with you.

      I think it's really important that you get some professional support around what is happening, there is so much going on and it must be having a huge affect on your mental health. It also seems to be so entrenched in your relationship that you no longer see it as abuse. It might also be helpful to talk to a close friend about what is happening.

      I think it would be really helpful for you to contact your local domestic abuse service. You can find them through the National Helpline on 0808 2000 247, or through the Women's Aid's website, www.womensaid.org.uk. You can also call Rape Crisis on 0808 802 9999, which might be able to help you with coming to terms with the sexual abuse that has taken place.

      I really hope you access some support, his behaviour towards you is completely unacceptable.

      Take care,

      Luke

      This is Abuse team - 05/02/2014

  • anonymous

    02/02/2014

    At the age of 13 I slept with a boy who said he loved me - he was 17 at the time, I did not want to sleep with him ans still think about it now, im now 18 amd hes still trying to contact me. What do I do and who can I talk to?

    anonymous - 02/02/2014

    Reply
    • Hi Anonymous,

      Thank you for your message, it’s really brave of you to post here and reach out for help. You have gone through something really horrible and serious and you have coped on your own with it for a long time. You don’t have to any more, there is support out there.

      You were very young when you were raped, it’s not surprising you still think about it. You went though something very traumatic and serious. Rape can have lasting effects on a person and it’s important that you get some support to help you deal with these.

      What happened to you was not your fault and you deserve some help in your recovery. I understand this is something you might not want to talk about with friends or family, so you could perhaps contact a service that work with rape and abuse. Rape Crisis are an organisation who specialise in working with women and girls who have suffered sexual violence. They can talk with you in a confidential and non-judgemental setting. You can reach them on 0808 802 (12 –2.30 & 7 – 9.30 everyday). They will be able to listen to what you need to speak about and point you towards help in your local area if you feel that’s something you want to do.

      You say this person is still contacting you, does this make you feel unsafe? Would you feel able to tell them to not contact you, or to discus this unwanted contact with someone you trust? I understand how upsetting this contact must be, as it is a reminder of what happened.

      If you want to talk about this more with one of our team you can use the live chat function 5-7 weeknights.

      Take care,
      Becca

      This is Abuse team 04/02/2014

  • Shaz

    02/02/2014

    I met my bf last year. He seemed perfect he was perfect then a month in he ended it with me because I spoke to an ex bf and a guy who used to like me - I told him this because I wanted to be honest. I begged him on the phone for 2 hours crying and he went to sleep. The next day he took me back but since then he's ended it again called me names offered to give my number to his friends and said that I will never find anyone better than him. Were together now but I feel so slobe. He has never said anything n good about me he just calls me stupid and will randomly call joking that he cheated or joking that we won't talk again after today. He says he loves me but I don't feel loved I feel so alone. I get more compliments off strangers than my own boyfriebd my friends said he's emotionally abusive but I'm not sure if I'm overreacting or not?

    Shaz - 02/02/2014

    Reply
  • anon

    02/02/2014

    my ex boyfriend and me broke up a few months ago after he asked me for pics and when we met up he kept begging me for sex and to give him what he wanted when i said no he said he could get condoms and that he wantedto here me moan for him i kept refusing but im confused as i love him and think he does me but i dont no if he will try something i dont wont to do or force me to.

    anon - 02/02/2014

    Reply
    • Hi,

      Thanks for getting in touch. It sounds like it's been really tough on you.

      It is never acceptable for someone to pressure another person in to having sex or performing sexual acts, and if he had any respect for you then he would not behave in this way.

      It is your body, and you should feel comfortable in the things that you do with it. You should not use it to do what somebody tells you you have to do.

      It sounds like you have made the right choice by ending the relationship. It seems like he is not supportive of your needs, and I hope you find somebody who doesn't pressure you and makes you feel comfortable when you are ready.

      If you wanted to talk to someone in a little more detail about what has happened then you can contact childlike on 0800 1111 if you are under 16, or the national helpline on 0808 2000 246 if you are 16 and over.

      Take care,

      Luke

      This is Abuse team - 04/02/2014

  • lindsay

    02/02/2014

    I have been in a relationship for 9 years and i now realise all is not well and i feel trapped and scared pls help

    lindsay - 02/02/2014

    Reply
    • Hi Lindsay,

      Thank you for getting in touch. It sounds like it's really difficult for you at the moment.

      Unfortunately I can't give you very much information without a bit more detail. It would be really helpful if you were to come and talk to us on Live Chat Monday-Friday 5pm until 7pm. Alternatively give the national helpline a call on 0808 2000 247, and we can explore your options with you.

      It's really important that you know that there are services out there that can help you and help you leave as safely as possible, so please do get in touch!

      Take care,

      Luke

      This is Abuse team - 04/02/2014

  • Marcus

    02/02/2014

    I am a guy who has been in a abusive relationship both being victim and criminal. I no i need help and ive tried to stop the madness that occurs wen my temper goes.but can i ask one thing tho.is it ok for a woman to say so much evil things and do evil fings..yet when its bought up in convo it turns to a fight.am i wrong in saying if she hadnt of said those evil things (dont wanna repeat it) then no such incident would of took place.i am in need of help because i lose it alot recently

    Marcus - 02/02/2014

    Reply
    • Dear Marcus,

      Thanks for your post. I think you are asking a question that might be helpful to other people too.

      You are always responsible for your actions, whatever your partner has said or done. Of course this does not make it ok for someone to be verbally abusive to you. At the same time, it is never an excuse for you to become either abusive or use violence.

      If your partner is saying hurtful things to you it is important that you think about whether she is the kind of person that you want to be in a relationship with in the first place?

      So, yes, whatever your partner has said, no matter how horrible, what you do is your responsibility. You said that after she says something it turns into a fight. However it takes two people to fight, so if you walk away there cannot be a fight.

      This leads to another problem. It can be really hard to walk away, especially when we are hurt, angry or feel that we are being treated unfairly. It is really important that you are able to though. This is a skill that you may need help to learn and to practice. Help is available, not only to learn how to walk away, but also to develop other skills for dealing with difficulties in relationships as well as really understand respectfulness and responsibility.

      If you want to talk with an advisor about this kind of help you can call the Respect Phone Line on 0808 802 4040.

      I hope that’s helpful.

      Take good care,

      Brian

      This is Abuse team 03/02/2014

  • Kayleigh

    02/02/2014

    I am 26 and have been with my partner for 8 years. We have a five year old son and he is my world. everything was fine and happy until my son was about 6months old- in fact we were close friends for years before we were together and he was so respectful and loving towards me). The last few years have been so bad in many ways I cant begin to tell you everything. I have gone back into education and I study very hard in university in a degree in the medical field, he does nothing he goes out with his friends and drinks, smokes cannibis, and is consumed by self pity. He is so controlling and makes me feel guilty about going to university as if I am going there to find another partner. Hes verbally abusive towards me and infront of our son, he threatens to kill me, kick me in the face, kill himself, stab me, kill my mum and my family and that doesnt even scratch the surface. he hates my mum who I am very close to (I dont have a father around and no brothers, sisters etc) and whenever he gets wound up he brings her into it (even though he hasnt seen her for nearly a year) when we argue he says hes going to go and light her house on fire and chop her up etc.. I cant cope anymore. I am so unhappy I cant tell my mum. I just want this to stop I try so hard in life and I want the best for my son but he is ruining my life. I cant leave because he couldnt handle it an will go to my mums or my elderly nans. He would try and take my son away as well. He also smashes things up in the house, puts holes in the doors, throws things at me and when I try and stop him or calm him down he hurts me.. he doesnt punch me in the face but hes ran at me and threw me and he has choked me a few times in the past and grabbed me by my face really hard. I feel so isolated and helpless I just wish there was someone to talk to online about it

    Kayleigh - 02/02/2014

    Reply
    • Hi Kayleigh,

      Thanks for getting in contact. It sounds like a really horrible situation for you. It also seems like you are ready to leave but don't know how to do so safely.

      You are not responsible for his behaviour, he is choosing to be aggressive and controlling, he is choosing to smoke cannabis and go out with his friends all the time, that is not your responsibility. Your responsibility is to keep yourself and your child safe at the moment.

      Some of the things you have said to me really concern me, such at the choking, and the threats that he makes about your mother. He seems like a very unstable man, and this is not the kind of person you want around a young child.

      There are options for you, and services that can help you leave him as safely as possible. I would really recommend that you contact your local domestic abuse service. You can find them on Google, or by contacting the National Helpline on 0808 2000 247.

      I am worried for your safety, and if you feel at risk then always contact 999. His behaviour is dangerous, and I wouldn't want you to be injured, or your child.

      It is really helpful to talk to someone about what is going on, your mother probably already has an inkling of what is taking place. It isn't a sign of weakness, if anything you have shown strength by putting up with it for so long.

      There is some information to the following link about leaving safely, but nobody is going to make you leave. It has to be your choice when you are ready, but what services will be able to do is help you leave as safely as possible when that time comes. http://www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic-violence-survivors-handbook.asp?section=000100010008000100310005

      We are running a live chat service Monday to Friday, 5pm-7pm if you do want to talk a little bit more about your options, but if you would also like to talk on the phone then please call the national helpline.

      This can be a really scary time, so please do take as much support as you can.

      Take care,

      Luke

      This is Abuse team - 03/02/2014

  • Zara

    02/02/2014

    Im in a marriage i dont want to be in i have no interest in him at all and he sleeps with me knowing i dont want to and when i build up the courage to push him away he gets moody and childish and says hes going to leave me i have no family support as he was my parents choice for me to marry him i feel completely alone and cant talk to anyone about how i feel

    Zara - 02/02/2014

    Reply
    • Hi Zara,

      It sounds like a really difficult situation. Whether you have had an arranged marriage or a forced marriage, UK law supports that you don't want to stay with someone that you do not want to be with.

      Somebody having sex with you against your will is rape, no matter what kind of marriage you are in, and there is protection out there for you.

      It can be a really difficult time for someone looking to leave an arranged/forced marriage, because there is a huge association with honour and my concern would be that there was any risk of so called 'honour based violence' towards you.

      I think it would be really helpful for you to call Karma Nirvana, a national charity which works specifically around some of these issues, their telephone number is 0800 5999247.

      Take care,

      Luke

      This is Abuse team - 03/02/2014

  • charmaine

    01/02/2014

    im in a relationship with my crush and he kept saying he loves me and he is 17 and he cant wait for me to go to college and i cant let anybody know im going out with

    charmaine - 01/02/2014

    Reply
    • Hello Charmaine

      Thanks for your message. Is your 'crush' older than you? I am wondering why its so important for you to not let anyone know about your relationship. Is there a particular reason for this?

      It should be possible to let a healthy relationship be in the open. Can you explain a bit more about this so we can help more?

      Take care

      Linda

      This is Abuse team 02/02/2014

  • Anonymous

    01/02/2014

    I left my ex boyfriend as I was getting the nick taken for it and he wanted to do stuff I didn't but I still like him and I think he does me and I just don't no what to do? Incase he try's something I don't won't and he's 1 year older than me

    Anonymous - 01/02/2014

    Reply
    • Hello Anonymous

      Thanks for getting in touch. It sounds like you still feel confused about this relationship because you liked your ex. However, you are also anxious about what might happen if you get back together. I think its always wise to listen to those sort of gut feelings. Clearly when you were together before he made demands or suggestions that made you feel uncomfortable. If you get back together that might happen again and its so important in a relationship to feel safe and by that I mean safe emotionally , physically and sexually.

      Have you been able to talk to anyone about this because its important you have some support for yourself. A healthy relationship of course is built on respect and negotiation and not pressurising the other person. Take a look at the website www.respectnotfear.co.uk which is for young peopke and all about relationships. You may find it helpful.

      We also have live chat sessions Mon -Fri 5 -7 if you wanted to give us a call. i hope that helps a bit

      Take care
      Linda

      This is Abuse team 02/02/2014

  • charmaine

    01/02/2014

    my boyfriend wants to go out with me at college but im scared stiff he will call me names and he says he cant wait for me to come college but im scared he will punch me or hurt me

    charmaine - 01/02/2014

    Reply
    • Hello Charmaine

      Thanks for getting in touch. It really sounds like you are not entirely sure about this relationship. A healthy relationship should not see you being fearful or worried that your boyfriend might hurt you or call you nasty names. Those behaviours are abuse and unacceptable. Have you been able to talk to any of your friends about your worries? I would encourage you to do that as its difficult to manage alone when you feel anxious and scared.

      Take a look at this website for young people www.respectnotfear.co.uk which gives lots of useful advice and tips. Maybe take a look and weigh up what the benefits are to you from this relationship.

      i hope that helps a bit

      Take care
      Linda

      This is Abuse team 02/02/2014

  • Jess

    01/02/2014

    Last year i was in my first serious relationship
    It was great at first and i loved it but after 4 months he started talking about sex constantly
    One day he just forced himself on me and had sex with me
    I didnt want to and didnt give my consent but i didnt push him away as i was scared
    Im not sure whether this is rape or not.. thanks

    Jess - 01/02/2014

    Reply
    • Hello Jess

      Thanks for getting in touch. I am really glad you did as you shouldn't have to cope with something like this alone. I know you may feel confused about what happened but yes this was rape. You said you did not want sex and didn't give your consent so this makes it rape. You also don't have to say no verbally for it to mean that you didn't consent to sex. There is information about sex and the law on these links - www.brook.org.uk or www.c4urself.org.uk which you might find useful.

      Something like this happening can be traumatic and frightening and its really important for you to try and get some support for yourself. This could be from a parent or close friend if you felt able to talk to them about what happened. If not you could talk to rape crisis on 0808 802 9999 who offer a fantastic confidential service. Rape can have long term effects on you so please try and give them a call.

      Also I am not sure from your message how recent this was. Maybe pop along to your local sexual health clinic and get yourself checked out. They are used to dealing with situations like yours and again its all confidential. Remember this is not your fault and there are services out there that can help you recover and move on and enjoy your life.

      i hope things work out for you

      Take care
      Linda

      This is Abuse team 02/02/2014

  • Billie

    01/02/2014

    my friend is having sex underage but she doesn't tell anyone about it..she got pregnant twice but she doesn't want anyone to know because she is scared

    Billie - 01/02/2014

    Reply
    • Hello Billie

      Thanks for getting in touch with us. Firstly your friend is lucky to have you as its really hard to cope with things like this on your own so I am sure she appreciates you being there for her.

      I can understand that' she feels scared. Lots of young girls worry about this especially when they are underage as they think they will be in trouble if they tell anyone. Is it her boyfriend that she fell pregnant with and are they a similar age? If he is quite a bit older than her then she may need to find the courage to tell someone about what is going on - maybe she would let you help her do that. My worry would be that perhaps she is not really wanting to have a sexual relationship and either can't say no to him or does not know how to get out of this relationship. If however, she is consenting to sex then that might be a bit different.

      If your friend is most worried about the fact she is underage then there is a good website for young people about sex which is www.c4urself.org.uk and I am attaching the link that deals with the law and sex http://www.c4urself.org.uk/youth/sexlaw.php. Most clinics are very understanding if both young people are consenting to the relationship but if this is not the case they would want to try and help her to safely end the relationship.

      Billie we also have Live chat sessions Mon- Fri 5 -7. Do you think either she or you would want to call and talk to us a bit more about this. All the calls are confidential and no one would judge her or be cross with her.

      Another option would be to try and encourage her to talk to an adult she trusts.It could be a parent or if not maybe a teacher, youth leader, school nurse.....someone like that because all of these people should be able to offer her advice and support. You could also get her to look at the Brook Advisory website on www.brook.org.uk which is a specialist contraceptive and pregnancy service for those aged under 25. Again everything is confidential.They could also tell her about local sexual health clinics in her area that she could go to for advice as well. This is very important as she should get some help choosing a type of contraceptive that suits her so she can avoid falling pregnant.

      I hope that helps a bit as somewhere to start and that things work out for her. She is lucky to have you!

      Take care
      Linda

      This is Abuse team 02/02/2014

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Stay safe – don't include any personal information in your comments, such as your surname, email address, street address and phone number.

Don't include the personal details of anyone else in your posts (including boyfriend/girlfriend, parents, guardians, teachers, social workers or group leaders).

Don't go off topic - keep your comments relevant to the "This Is Abuse" debate. People want their opinions to be heard – don't shout them down.

Don't post crude, racist, offensive, violent or vulgar messages to the site.

Treat everyone with respect – even if someone has a different view to your own, don't let it get personal.

Don't glamorise illegal or dangerous activities, including violence of any kind. It's ok to talk about your experiences but you shouldn't encourage others to do anything illegal or dangerous.

Don't write anything that's untrue about anyone else (including boyfriend/girlfriend, parents, guardians, teachers, social workers, group leaders and famous people). Don't write anything that could harm anyone else's reputation.

This isn't a dating site – it's a platform to talk about teenage relationship abuse and your opinions on the matter; don't use it to meet or flirt with other people.

Don't write everything in CAPS – it's the equivalent of shouting and isn't polite or easy for everyone to read.

Don't post entire messages in text speak – it's ok to shorten some words but not everyone understands text speak or finds it easy to read.

It's ok to post links to other websites as long as they're relevant to the "This Is Abuse" debate and don't break the house rules in any way.

Don't break copyright rules. This means that you shouldn't post text you didn't write.

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