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This is ABUSE

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Results: 210 - 225 of 2084

  • Lucy

    24/02/2014

    My ex boyfriend would always hit me if I didn't listen to him or he would embarrass me in public. But I left him because my friends told me it was wrong and that he shouldn't be correcting me in that way. :) leaving Alfie is one of the best things in my life. I have a new boyfriend but it doesn't feel like love.. i mean we talk and that.. I've always loved him.. how do I know if he's cheating on me? Because there's a girl that always tries to interfere with our relationship & we used to e mates until I was in a relationship .. now we barely talk...All i know is that she doesn't want me in a relationship with that particular boy because she like's him. How can i prevent this from happening? we've been going out for quite a few months now and she's been getting in the way ever since. :(

    Lucy - 24/02/2014

    Reply
    • Hi Lucy,

      Thanks for your message. Its sounds like you have a really good support network of people around you who have helped and supported in your past relationship. However it seems though your feeling very insecure about your new relationship, has your new partner given you any reason to suspect him cheating? Just because this girl is unhappy with your relationship doesn’t necessarily mean your partner is unhappy so he will cheat.

      I suggest you speak to your boyfriend about how you are feeling. Having a healthy relationship with someone means being able to be honest and feel loved, it also means that you trust each other. I would also recommend you contact www.womensaid.org.uk who can give you advice and support on the effects your previous relationship has had on you, as this could be your reason for feeling insecure.
      Take care
      Sarah

      This is Abuse team 26/02/2014

  • Grainne

    24/02/2014

    I live with my parnter and about a month ago I tried to leave the house because I was in a mood and ge grabbed me by the arms and threw me over the sofa, there were bruises on my arms, two weeks about we were in another argument, I wound him up and he started throwing my clothes at me (because I was packing my bags) and he threw my phone and broke it ( I don't think he meant to break it) yesterday we had another argument and I was kneeling on the floor sorting clother out in the drawer and he kicked me in my side and I started crying, then he smacked me in my back with my shoe because I tried to leave and he told me if I leave I am never allowed back, I have been in a previous abusive relationship as well as my father hitting me and my current partner said he feels sorry for my ex for having to put up with me and that I'm always starting fights with men, I know it's my fault because I'm so hard to put up with when I live with someone, yesterday I thought about killing myself, i've been beaten by 5 men in 2 years and I'm so ashamed to tell anyone that the number is that high, I'm not a good person.

    Grainne - 24/02/2014

    Reply
    • Hi Grainne,

      Thanks you for getting in touch. It sounds like your partner is very abusive towards you both physically and emotionally. Please do not blame yourself or feel any shame in what is happening now or has happened in the past. Your partner is passing the blame of his actions on to you to justify what he is doing. Some people find themselves going from one abusive relationship to another so they are caught up in a cycle of abuse I am really concerned that you are having suicidal thoughts and I really would like you to think about contacting www.womensaid.org.uk or contact them on their freephone number 0808 2000 247 they can offer advice and support.

      I would also suggest you making an appointment with your GP who can refer you to a local counselling service.

      We also offer live chat sessions Mon- Fri 5-7pm if you would like to come and chat to an advisor.

      Take care
      Sarah

      This is Abuse team 26/02/2014

  • Gina

    24/02/2014

    Hello, I was seeing a lad a while back we had sex which I gave consent to but later on that night when I was asleep he had sex with me again when I awoke to him doing so I asked him to stop but he didn't, would this be a form of rape or not?

    Gina - 24/02/2014

    Reply
    • Hello Anon
      Thank you for contacting us. It must have taken a lot of courage to do so and it is a big relief to hear that you are now in a supportive and loving relationship. One of the problems with abuse, especially towards children and young people, is that the abusive person or people try and make it sound like it’s all about love. This is terribly confusing and as you can understand this confusion can last for a long time even after the abuse has stopped. Most definitely what you describe was abuse – using fear and threats towards a child are child abuse and taking or demanding images or acts from them is a crime. Being violated in this way can make it hard for you to manage trust and intimacy in future relationships which seems to be what you are struggling with. Having a supportive partner will help you overcome this.

      The symptoms you describe of flashbacks are a quite common reaction to abuse but can be extremely distressing and unpleasant. The good news is that they can be treated. Have you spoken to your GP about any of this? If you could talk to the GP they might be able to arrange some counselling for you which would give you strategies to manage the flashbacks (which may be like a type of post-traumatic stress reaction). All of what you are describing is a normal reaction to what you have experienced .Also if you call the national helpline on 0808 2000 247 they can also tell you about local services in your area that could offer support about the abuse in your previous relationships.

      You may be interested to know that there is now a national organsisation to support children and young people who are exposed to the sort of online abuse you experienced (www.ceop.police.uk ). Although it was unfortunately not available for you when you needed it looking at it may help normalise some of what happened and lessen the worries about whether how you feel is normal or not. It’s important for you to know that you are not at all responsible for anything that happened but equally that there are services out there that will be able to support you to recover from this.

      I hope this is of some help and that you can access the help you deserve and need

      Take care

      Linda

      This is Abuse team 24/02/2014

    • Hello Gina

      Thanks for contacting us and I am sorry to hear that you have had this awful experience. In answer to your question, yes this would be seen as rape. Sex without your consent even if you have consented to sex with the same person previously is rape. What you experienced was a real violation as this ex-partner took advantage of you whilst asleep and without checking that this was something you were agreeable too. It’s important for you to know that none of this is your fault.

      Lots of people feel confused about what is and isn't rape but the law is clear that if consent is not given then this is rape. Trying to come to terms with this may be upsetting and difficult for you. It’s important that you have some sort of emotional support for yourself so if you are able to talk to your mum or perhaps a close friend this may help. You could also consider reporting what has happened to the police who have specialist units and trained officers to deal with these situations. Quite often when someone has been abused like you have you may find that you struggle to cope and come to terms with it. You could feel angry, distracted, tearful etc. Although these are normal reactions there is help available for you. One option would be to call Rape Crisis on 0808 802 9999 or look at their website on www.rapecrisis.org.uk they can offer general advice as well as counselling. Your GP or local sexual health clinic could also talk to you and arrange some type of help too. All of these services are totally confidential.

      I hope that this helps as a starting point – remember the services are there to help and what has happened does not have to ruin the rest of your life so try and give them a call. I hope things work out

      Take care

      Linda

      This is Abuse team 24/02/2014

  • Anonymous

    24/02/2014

    I am worried that my family is being abusive to me but I can't do anything about it.

    My Dad has an alcohol problem, he has a whole bottle of red wine every night and he makes his own beer so he moves on to that when he has finished the wine. He often takes my Mum's white wine as well even though he doesn't like it.

    He hasn't been physically abusive in years although once he pushed me into a wall and hit me with the door (not serious damage but it still hurt me) He is also threatening, he threatens to throw me out of the house, he has done it in the day time before but he threatens to kick me out at night. He also threatens to hit me.

    His drinking is getting worse, he is getting so drunk that he keeps dropping the wine glass and breaking it.

    Is there anything that I can do? I have tried asking him to stop but he just carries on.

    Anonymous - 24/02/2014

    Reply
    • Hi Anonymous,

      Thank you for getting in touch. I’m sorry to hear things are so difficult for you at the minute. Your Dad has a problem with alcohol and due to his excessive drinking he may not be fully aware of the upset he is causing. Have you spoken to anyone in your family about this? Or is there anyone you can trust to speak to?

      If not you could contact www.talktofrank.com or call them on 0800 77 66 00 (24hr helpline) they can give you advice on what services are available in your area.

      We also have live chat available Mon-Fri 5-7pm which you can come speak to an advisor for more advice.

      Take care
      Sarah

      This is Abuse team 26/02/2014

  • Emma

    24/02/2014

    My ex boyfriend and I had sex and I consented, but it really hurt to the point where I was crying and I asked to stop but he carried on and said it was ok, was this abuse?

    Emma - 24/02/2014

    Reply
    • Hi

      Yes, it's your right to stop sex at any point. By continuing when you had clearly shown that you didn't want to - this is rape.

      I know this is hard to hear and is very upsetting. Are you still with him? Has anything like this happened before? It is important to get some support - a really good place to start would be rape crisis - http://www.rapecrisis.org.uk/
      0808 802 9999
      you can also search for your nearest centre here: http://www.rapecrisis.org.uk/centres.php

      You may also want to think about talking to friend/family or someone else that you trust so you don't have to cope with this alone.

      We have a live chat every mon-fri from 5-7pm if you want to talk to us more,
      take care
      Jo

      This is Abuse team - 26/02/2014

  • michelle

    24/02/2014

    i have been with partner for 20 years we split last year and tried again last September now all I get is abuse verbally I have depression stress and anxiety and it is not helped by abuse from him and my two older kids that follow like sheeps I want him out but he does not listen what can I do?

    michelle - 24/02/2014

    Reply
    • Hi Michelle

      It must be incredibly hard and traumatic to have experienced abuse for so long. I also hear that your sons are now also starting to become like that.
      You can ring the national domestic violence helpline on 0808 2000 247 to get advice and info about local services.

      You can also ring the rights of women helpline where a team of female lawyers who specialise in these cases can give you free and confidential advice. They can tell you about your options.
      http://www.rightsofwomen.org.uk/adviceline.php
      020 7251 6577

      You can also ring the police if you are scared and they can hep protect you. There are also different types of orders that you can get to protect yourself and to keep him away from you.

      I hope this helps, do try to get some support as you should not have to cope with this alone. You may also benefit from some counselling to help with the depression and anxiety http://www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic-violence-survivors-handbook.asp?section=000100010008000100360002

      take care
      Jo

      This is Abuse team - 26/02/2014

  • Anonymous

    24/02/2014

    I was in an emotionally abusive relationship for around 3 years. It was awful. Near the beginning of the relationship he was fine, a lovely genuine man, then after the birth of our 1st daughter, he started getting nasty. Near the beginning he would punch me in the arm and push me, but as soon as he realised it was leaving marks, he stopped. He then went onto emotionally torturing me for the following time in our relationship.
    He would make me feel useless and inadequate. I had no friends and no family. He would tell me how no one cared about me and how I deserved to be treat like dirt. I believed him, every word. He tore me about until I couldn't take it anymore.
    I am unsure, but I also think there may have been sexual abuse in the relationship too. I am unsure as to what rape actually is, but there were many times that we had sex and I didn't consent, however I didn't say no. I was scared, I couldn't say no because I knew he would be so nasty to me and it would have increased the abuse. I was also scared that if I said no, he would carry on. I knew that if that happened it would be rape, and I didn't want to live my life thinking I had been violated in such as way. I'd really be grateful on some information on this, as I know that I now struggle with interaction with anyone, especially anyone of the opposite sex. The last time it happened was around 9 months ago, but it still plays on my mind occasionally. And if it was rape, I'd be grateful to be pointed in the right direction for a little support, of ways which I may be able to speak about it, as I have ben asked before if anything like this happened, but I was too ashamed to admit it. I feel like this was my fault, as I was told not only by him, but also social services that it was my fault and I deserved it. I accepted it, but it still plays on my mind.
    I am lucky, I got away. He destroyed me mentally, leaving me depressed, suicidal, with no self esteem, and worst of all, my kids nearly lost their mum. I am recovering more and more every day, but their are still days that I struggle and when everything that happened plays on my mind. I try to forget it all, but it still creeps up when I'm stressed or down.

    Anonymous - 24/02/2014

    Reply
    • Hi
      I am so glad you got in touch as it sounds like things have been really bad for a long time and you deserve and need some support.

      Emotional abuse can be just as traumatic as physical abuse but I want to reassure you that none of this is your fault. It is normal for abusers to make people think it is their victim's fault but the only person responsible is the abuser themselves.

      In terms of the sexual abuse, I know this is hard to hear but it does sound like rape.
      You do not have to say no to not consent to sex. You were clearly in fear of what would happen if you didn't go through with it and this means you were not able to consent.
      There is more info on this here: http://thisisabuse.direct.gov.uk/worried-about-abuse/view/rape-sexual-assault/consent

      The good news is there is a lot of support out there, a really good place to start would be rape crisis - http://www.rapecrisis.org.uk/
      0808 802 9999
      you can also search for your nearest centre here: http://www.rapecrisis.org.uk/centres.php

      Do you have any contact with him now? I know you have children together so I am wondering if you still see him? It is important to keep safe if so, and there are some tips on that here: http://refuge.org.uk/get-help-now/help-for-women/keeping-safe/

      I am also concerned that you have felt suicidal in the past, if you feel like this again it is really important to get help. You can contact the Samaritans anytime on: 08457 90 90 90

      It can take a long time to recover from abuse of any kind. Getting support is the first step. If you want to talk to us more you can come to our live chat sessions every mon-fri between 5-7pm.

      I hope this helps
      take care
      Jo

      This is Abuse team - 26/02/2014

  • Jessica

    23/02/2014

    Hi, my friend is with a lad and they have been on and off for about a year. He is always telling her what to do for example she said she is quitting college and getting a job as college is too stressful for her and he said if she did this he would end the relationship. She has been told off his best friend that he has cheated but she keeps saying to me 'yeah but I love him' when I try and speak to her about anything. If she asks him who someone is or what his status update was about she gets the answer of 'its none of your business and he's very protective over his phone, however he will sit and go through everything on her phone whenever he feels like it. He is constantly putting the blame on her for E V E R Y T H I N G and he calls her names all the time. Every time they have split up he rings her drunk and encourages her to meet up with him etc. Is this abuse? and if so how do I tell her? It kills me seeing her down like this all the time and most of the time she's more down about her relationship than she is happy. How can I help?

    Jessica - 23/02/2014

    Reply
    • Hi Jessica,

      Thanks for your post. I can imagine you are really worried for your friend. Her boyfriend is using some really controlling behaviours. It’s not okay for him to tell her who she can talk to, what she can wear or to be checking up on her.

      It might feel like there is not much you can do, it’s worth remembering that she may experience many conflicting emotions. She may really want to be with her boyfriend, but hate some of the things he does and she might hope that he will change. She could also be feeling guilty, embarrassed or simply finding it difficult to make decisions.

      Giver her time and speak honestly with her. It is ok to be honest with her about your concerns. Keeping a consistent message that what he is doing is not okay and not her fault can really help.

      Don’t criticise her for being with him. She may take some time to decide to end the relationship for good. Just concentrate on encouraging her and affirming herself worth and esteem.

      Your patients and openness is going to be really important. When someone is being controlled it can take a long time to recognise what is happening and to make decisions about what they want to do.

      Take good care of yourself too, you are being a good friend. The worry of knowing that a friend is in a difficult situation can impact on you.


      Best Wishes,

      Brian


      This is Abuse team 25/02/2014

  • Anon

    23/02/2014

    Hi.. I was previously in an abusive relationship. Physical, sexual and emotional.. I am aware that what he did was wrong and I can understand that. However I was also groomed online for some years as an early teenager. This was by strange men via webcam and they threatened me if I didn't do what they asked.. is this abuse? Now I am in a new relationship and happy.. my partner knows about all of this but I struggle with intimacy as a result of my past. Is this normal? I often get flashbacks and relive the events.. am I normal?

    Anon - 23/02/2014

    Reply
    • Dear Anon,

      I am really pleased that you decided to get in touch. I am sorry that you have experienced these abuses. Yes, being groomed online is abusive as is being threatened. It sounds like you have been through a lot and I wondered whether you have ever had any counselling?

      It is completely normal to take time to recover, and even with time good support is important too. Flashbacks are not uncommon when someone has had a traumatic experience. You could talk with your GP about counselling or a specialist organisation such as Rape Crisis www.rapecrisis.org.uk as the online abuse happened to you when you were in your teens you could get in touch with the National Association for People Abused in Childhood http://www.napac.org.uk/ .

      I hope that’s useful.

      Take Care,

      Brian

      This is Abuse team 25/02/2014

  • Gemma

    23/02/2014

    A few years ago I met a boy pretty much in the middle of nowhere because that's where he asked me to meet him - I didn't think anything of it. We sat down in the grass and after a while he started to touch me up and started putting his hands up my top and then underneath my bra to touch my boobs and I kept pulling his hands out but he kept doing it. I got up and he told me to stay and I had to make up an excuse so I could leave. I didn't like it and didn't think it was serious so I never told anyone but thinking back, I don't know whether it was rape or not even though I didn't want him to and should I have told anyone?

    Gemma - 23/02/2014

    Reply
    • Hi Gemma
      Thanks for your message. I can understand that this was a very traumatic experience for you.
      If someone touches you sexually and you do not want them to then this can be sexual assault. It is not rape as that involved penetration, but it is still serious and must have been really upsetting and scary.
      It is good that you were able to leave safely. Have you seen him again since?
      It may be a good idea to talk to someone about this and how it has made you feel - maybe a family member or a teacher?
      This is a good site as well: http://www.respectnotfear.co.uk/

      I hope this helps.
      take care
      Jo

      This is Abuse team - 26/02/2014

  • Rachel

    23/02/2014

    I'm not sure I should even be posting on here are having read some of the other peoples awful experiences I don't feel like mine compares. I feel like I have nowhere else to turn though. I have been in a relationship for 6 years and a year ago he moved in. Since he started living with me I have not been allowed any friends to the house. He is often 'off' with me, won't answer when I talk to him, gets up and leaves a room I enter, even gets up and leaves the bedroom when I come to bed. Sometimes this goes on for days at a time. I try to do everything so as not to annoy him, although I work full time to I have to make sure that all the dishes are done by the time he gets home. I also do all the cleaning, washing, diy etc. If I ever ask him for help he gets really mad and usually refuses. One evening he got really mad and barely spoke to me for days because the lounge light wasn't switched on when he got home (I had been working from home in the other room and it had only been dark about half an hour). One night I asked if he would mind turning the tv down as I was worried about the neighbours and he didn't speak to me for 3 days. On my birthday he said he was leaving me and then refused to have my family over for a birthday 'do' at the weekend. He shouts and swears and tells me things like I am the most depressing person in the world to talk to, that I smell and sometime when he's drunk he calls me even worse names and accuses me of wanting to sleep with other men. I do try to talk to him calmly and rationally because when he's not speaking to me I genuinely have no idea why but he just says I'm trying to start an argument and won't talk about it. Worst of all is that he won't have my Dad in the house. I am very close with my Dad who is on his own after my mother died. He was also seriously ill this year so I have to spend time with him each day to make sure he is coping. I forced the issue once and he was distant and rude (something that Dad still worries about now) so I haven't dared to do it again. I invite Dad over when he works evenings and make sure to clear everything up before he gets home. Once, Dad was late coming round so I had to call him and let him know he might be here when he got home at 8, but he went out and didn't come home until 10.30. He's never hurt me, although he has smashed the glass in doors etc. when he's angry and he once grabbed my phone from me and pulled out some of my hair but I don't think he meant to. This all sounds so pathetic written down, I just don't know what to do. I don't believe I should be ignored and made to feel bad when all I do is look after him and his family. I fell like I'm going mad and that maybe I'm this really bad person who deserves it and just didn't realise before. I haven't even explained this properly here, it's so hard to put into words. It's like telling someone a joke who doesn't laugh at the punchline because they want to make you feel stupid. Does anyone else out there feel like this?

    Rachel - 23/02/2014

    Reply
    • Hi Rachel

      I am so glad you got in touch. Please try not to compare your situation to other people's that you may have read on here. What you are describing is emotional abuse and controlling behaviour and actually is very serious. I am not surprised that you are so upset.

      I think you need to think carefully about whether you want to be in this relationship still. It sounds very unhealthy and I am concerned for you. I know that ending relationships can be really hard, but you deserve to have love and respect and I promise you that most men would not treat you like this.

      I think you could benefit from some support to think this through. There are several options:
      You can come to our live chat sessions every mon-fri from 5-7pm and we can talk this through with you, you can ring the national domestic abuse helpline on 0808 2000 247 which is open 24 hours a day to get some advice or you can google the name of the area you live in plus 'domestic violence support' and you should get info on local services.
      You can also talk to your GP.

      It is important that you get some support and don't try to cope with this on your own. Are you friends aware of what is happening?
      This is the first step in helping you to cope with this and working out a way forward,
      I hope this helps,
      take care
      jo

      This is Abuse team - 25/02/2014

  • Ann

    23/02/2014

    My partner physically abuses me and is an imputant. I want to commit suicide. I need help getting a divorce he has shut me in home. I need help.

    Ann - 23/02/2014

    Reply
    • Dear Anna,
      Thank you for your message. I can hear that you are feeling desperate in the situation you are in.
      All the things you describe in your message are types of abusive and are very serious. If you feel you are in immediate danger you can call the police. What is happening to you is against the law and is not your fault
      Have you discussed the situation with anyone in your life, family or friends? If not you can call the national helpline on 0808 2000 247. They will be able to offer you confidential support and advice. The calls will not show up on your phone bill. If you feel suicidal you can speak to your GP about this or call the Samaritans on 08457 90 90 90
      You may also want to look on this website for more information on domestic abuse and what help is available for you in your local area.
      www.womensaid.org.uk
      Take care,
      Becca

      This is Abuse team 24/02/2014

  • Anne

    23/02/2014

    Ive been in a relationship for 7 years and at the beginning everything was great, but now he seems to always pick fights with me over everything. He shouts at me and starts an argument if I don't want to have sex with him, then he ignores me for a few days (even though we live together) and then its like nothing happened and he expects me to be normal with him. I feel like I want to leave but he controls the finances and is also my boss, I worry that if I leave he could find a way to get me fired and I will end up with no home, no job or anything. I really need some advice, I don't know what to do anymore. Hes never hit me but has a bit of a problem with drink and has grabbed and pushed me around on many occasions but is always really upset when he sees the bruises that hes left, he doesn't always remember being like this either.

    Anne - 23/02/2014

    Reply
    • Dear Anne,
      Thank you for your message. I can hear how trapped you are feeling in the relationship you are in.. It takes a lot of strength to reach out and I’m pleased you have felt able to. There is support out there you can access. You don’t have to cope on your own.
      All the things you describe in your email are types of abusive and are very serious. He is controlling your behaviour, leaving you with bruises, emotionally abusing you and attempting to coerce you into having sex against your will. None of these things are ok and none are your fault.
      Have you discussed the situation with anyone in your life, family or friends? If not you can call the national helpline on 0808 2000 247. They will be able to offer you confidential support and advice. The calls will not show up on your phone bill.
      You may also want to look on this website for more information on domestic abuse and what help is available for you in your local area.
      www.womensaid.org.uk
      Take care,
      Becca

      This is Abuse team 24/02/2014

  • Anonymous

    22/02/2014

    Hi, I was in an abusive relationship about 5 years ago now, he was 3 years older than me and a lot more experienced since he was my first adult relationship. I've had counseling and even managed to talk to my parents about it but I don't think I've ever got over it. I was in highschool so as soon as it ended pretty much I ignored it didn't even register it as abuse until later. I had problems with stress before this relationship but after was diagnosed with PTSD. I've noticed from reading some of the comments below a lot of girls seem to feel somewhat responsible for what happened and blame themselves, I feel like this a lot of the time and it has ruined relationships since then as it makes me not feel worthy. It broke the idea I had of myself as a strong person as I never stood up for myself and let it happen time and time again. While the counseling helped now I've started a new relationship after having single to sort myself out, I've found those feelings of unworthiness creeping up on me; like if I told him about it he wouldn't think I was good enough any more. I know that is totally my own irrational thought and nothing to do with the guy I'm seeing, just wondered if you had any advice to dealing with those feelings? Also I wanted to say that I think you're doing a wonderful thing.

    Anonymous - 22/02/2014

    Reply
    • Dear Anonymous,
      Thank you so much for your message and your support. I can hear that you worked really hard to get yourself into the position you are in now. That took real strength and the message you have left here will be really inspiring for other people reading.
      You say that now you are in a relationship again you can recognise the feelings of unworthiness coming back. That’s really hard for you and it’s something you may want to address with a counsellor. If you have stopped seeing the one you had before you can have a look on this website for specialist domestic abuse counsellors in your area.
      www. womensaid.org.uk
      You can also call the national helpline on 0808 2000 247 to discuss any emotions you have around the abuse you suffered.
      Thank you again for your support and sharing your story.
      Take care,
      Becca

      This is Abuse team 24/02/2014

  • Will

    22/02/2014

    Hello...I don't like to think of this as abuse as I love my partner but - she seems to think I'm "clocking" (her words) a woman who may be passing, walking, coming into the shop and speaking with me, at the airport, at the bar.
    I'm now on finite edge watching her to be sure I'm looking at her rather than anywhere else.
    I dod not look at anyone particular, I do glance at anyone at any given time, as in the peripheral vision, I see movement.
    Lately the PC buzzes as if as SMS is coming through....I've checked this and it is the PC board connecting but she belives I'm texting.
    I despenced of my mobile 3 years ago, finished with FB and friends on there because she thought I was chatting with them.
    I had a lot of business contacts who 'friended' me.
    We had a situation last year when we were dancing within our shop front area - a neighbour came over and told me I was an incredible dancer - while my partner was with me of course and unfortunately looked at me!
    ...this caused a problem as now the lady is the centre of dislike! (not from me)
    I'm 60 btw and my partner is 55!
    How do we handle this?
    As a footnote: my partner actually says it's me that's making her feel insecure.
    Of course unless you know me, you can't really pass judgement but I am totally with her and love her and tell her this - often .

    Will - 22/02/2014

    Reply
    • Hi Will,
      Thank you for your message. I can hear that you are finding your partners jealousy quite difficult to deal with and it is making you feel on edge all of the time. It sounds like you have tried to discuss this with her and she has not been receptive.

      A lot of the behaviours that you describe in your message are emotionally abusive. Is here anyone in your life you could discuss this with? If not the men’s advice line are a great service that are open 9-5 weekdays. You can reach them on 0808 801 0327, it’s confidential helpline that works with men in abusive relationships.

      You may want to a look at this resource as well, and if you felt it appropriate discuss it with your partner.

      http://www.respect.uk.net/data/files/managing_jealousy_leaflet.pdf

      Take care,
      Becca


      This is Abuse team 24/02/2014

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