HAVE YOUR SAY
Tell us what you think about abuse in relationships
If you've got something you'd like to talk about regarding any kind of relationship abuse, come and Have Your Say on our message board.
The chances are you'll be able to talk with someone who's gone through similar experiences to your own.
Seen the ads? What do you think?
-
Is controlling who a partner sees or speaks to abuse?
-
-
-
-
Sex with someone who doesn't want to is rape.
-
Sex with someone who doesn't want to is rape.
-
Is putting pressure on someone to have sex abuse?
-
Is bullying, controlling and putting a partner down abuse?
-
Is insulting and threatening a partner with violence abuse?
TELL US WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT ABUSE IN RELATIONSHIPS
If you've got something to say about abuse in relationships then you'll need to accept our terms before you can take part - please see our rules on the right side of the page. You can then enter your comments below or under any video you want to talk about.
Lauren
24/02/2013
This is more of a worry than a comment, i've experienced something that i still regularly think about get upset about, but i wasn't in a relationship with this person.
At this time i was in a relationship with a boy which im still with now and at this time i went to a party without him, and i was with one of my friends(josh) who had told me before he liked me but after abit of not being able to tell him i didnt feel the same and not wanting to loose a friend i told him i didnt like him in that way.
After the party i slept at a friends and he was sleeping over too, when i'd fallen asleep, he put his hand in my pants and as I woke up he tried to move my hand into his pants.
This shocked me and upset me, as i woke up and moved he acted asif it didnt happen and denied it at first, he's admited to it now, but tells everyone he was really drunk and some people blame me for 'leading him on' or 'falling asleep next to him if i knew he liked me' which is unfair and i havent led him on in anyway and he wasnt drunk as i had a serious convosation with him before falling asleep.
All has moved on and people have genuinely forgotten about it, but i feel scarred and still think about it, i told my boyfriend after a while and he was angry but lives in a different area and was unsure what to do, i dont know what to do about this..
Lauren - 24/02/2013
ReplyHi Lauren
Thanks for getting in touch
Being forced or pressured to have sex or take part in sexual activity that you don’t feel comfortable with is totally unacceptable. Please understand that this was not your fault, there was nothing you could have done to prevent it.
If you are unsure, examples of sexual assault can include being touched in a sexual way that makes you feel uncomfortable or frightened. This can be through clothes or not, being forced to watch others engage in sexual activity, sexting and being made to stimulate yourself or others.
If you are ever put under pressure to have sex when you don’t want to, try and find someone you trust to talk to. It could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable talking to. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and trust.
And if they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. You have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.
If you’re under 18, you can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem. No problem is too big or small for them. Alternatively, you can go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.
If you’re over 18, you can call the National Freephone Rape Crisis Helpline to talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999, 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm. If you have been sexually assaulted you can also speak to the police. Most police forces have specially trained police officers who can help. If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger, call the police on 999.
kayleigh
24/02/2013
I have a boyfriend who is 14 and says he is ready for sex but i am only 11 and i dont know what to do !!!
Can someone help me please xxx
kayleigh - 24/02/2013
ReplyHe may be, but if you aren't you do not have to have it!
Your only 11, that is a young age. Myself I feel it may be best for you to consider parting ways.
Whatever you do look after yourself. I wouldn't at your age encourage to have sex, but if you do, please make sure you protect yourself, you may wish to speak to a healthcare professional such as a nurse or doctor, bearing in mind they have a responsibility to keep things confidential, including from your parents.
Alex - 08/03/2013
HI Kayleigh
Thanks for getting in touch.
Being forced or pressured to have sex or take part in sexual activity that you don’t feel comfortable with is totally unacceptable.
If you are ever put under pressure to have sex when you don’t want to, try and find someone you trust to talk to. It could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable talking to. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and trust.
And if they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. You have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.
You can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem. No problem is too big or small for them. Alternatively, you can go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.
Chelsey
24/02/2013
I was 13, in a PE lesson, and I had on a vest and shorts that were closer to panties, as I had forgotten my proper kit. The vest showed my bra and the panties hugged my figure. On my way out, I went past an exterior door leading to the boy's changing room, and there were 3 16-year-olds in there. They looked me up and down and told me to come over. I did and they dragged me inside, closed the doors so nobody could get in. They gagged me with a tie and stripped me down, so I was only wearing my tights. Then they started to rape me. I was sleeping over my boyfriend's house, so my mother wouldn't be worried about me coming home, and the boys kept raping me. It hurt. When they had finished, they left me there, naked and tied to a pipe. Then a football team from another school came in, saw me and raped me two, but it was worse, and I felt like a real slut. When it ended, I went to my boyfriend's house, still in the "kit". When I got there, he wanted sex too. I said no and he raped me as well. What do I do? I don't care what people do to me any more, I have sex with every boy that asks and I let them feel me, I just don't care. What do I do?
Chelsey - 24/02/2013
ReplyHi Chelsey,
Thanks for your post, we are so sorry to hear about this.
It is really important you try and speak to someone about all of this. Being forced or pressured to have sex when you don’t want to is rape, it’s a crime and it should be reported. Please understand that none of what has happened is not your fault, there was nothing you could have done to prevent it. Do not feel guilty or ashamed, or dirty, that was your body's natural reaction and cannot be helped.
We urge you to try and find someone you trust to talk to. It could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable talking to. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and trust.
And if they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. You have the right to be safe, and help and support is out there.
You can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem. Nothing is too big or small for them. Alternatively, you can go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.
You can also speak to the police. Most police forces have specially trained police officers to help people who have been raped or sexually assaulted. If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger, call the police on 999.
James
24/02/2013
Why is it said rape is only committed by men?
I was working as a pizza delivery boy when I went to a routine delivery, the door was opened and five girls dragged me in, tied me to a chair and stripped me.
They were wearing Lycra or something. Then one of them forcibly touched me and then forced herself on to me. Another was on my lap and forcing me to touch her and another two were hitting me . It was horrible.
When they let me go they said I had to do it again or they'd say I raped them. What do I do?
James - 24/02/2013
ReplyReminds me of an experience of my own, when at my childminders, her daughter and some of her friends got me into my childminders bedroom and trying getting to have sex with the daughter. I think they thought I would want it - I most certainly didn't!
I refused and got out, but this one makes me think.
(ps. not my real name here)
Alex - 08/03/2013
Hi James,
Thanks for your post and we’re sorry to hear about this distressing incident.
We appreciate it may be especially hard for you to tell someone. Some people have told us that they would feel less manly if someone knew that were being abused by a girl, that it would be shameful. And others have told us about situations where their female partner threatened to tell authorities that they were being abused by them in order to keep them silent. Talking about what's happening is really important and you can get help if your partner or any female has been violent, controlling or sexually abusive. Try talking to a trusted adult. If you don’t think you can do this, you can speak in confidence by calling the helpline for males experiencing domestic abuse. Call freephone 0808 801 0327, email info@mensadviceline.org.uk or visit www.mensadviceline.org.uk
SurvivorsUK supports adult men over the age of 18 who have experienced sexual violation at any time in their lives. They offer a helpline for male survivors, their friends, family and carers on 0845 1221201 (Mon/Tues 7-9.30pm and Thurs 12-2.30pm) and a London based counselling service offering low cost individual counselling and group therapy: www.survivorsuk.org / info@survivorsuk.org
Dudley Safe and Sound partnership have also produced a video which provides advice for male victims of relationship abuse http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qt-U2ue-QmU
Take care.
Tyler
23/02/2013
Hi, I just want to say that I have seen your tv advert on tv five times today, the one where the boy want some fun before the parents get home, can I just say that I think that advert is sexist because they always make it look like its the boy rapping the girl, I think you should do another advert with the girl rapping the girl that way it will make it equal. As it not just men wo rape women it's women who rape men. Thanks
Tyler - 23/02/2013
ReplyHi Tyler,
Thanks for your feedback.
We are sorry that you feel like this about the campaign. We are aware that anyone can be a victim of abuse whether they are female, male, gay or straight. To be clear, the objective of this campaign is to help both boys and girls spot the signs of abuse in relationships and raise awareness of what is and isn’t acceptable behaviour.
This site has lots of information and advice in the ‘your questions’ and ‘need help’ sections for males who have been victims of abuse and those in same sex relationships. It’s good that the campaign is prompting you to ask questions and seek more information.
We work with partners such as the Dudley Safe and Sound partnership who have produced videos about male victims of abuse and those in gay relationships, which you can view by clicking on this link. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qt-U2ue-QmU
We have also produced a video in partnership with Broken rainbow which is intended to provide advice and signpost help for LGBT victims of domestic violence.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3U0ZJFdxCtg&list=UU697e0rGEZK8tO-qmFN6kag&index=2&feature=plcp
Incidentally, regarding your last point, the law says that rape can only be committed by a man as for the offence to be committed there must be intentional penetration of the mouth, vagina or anus of another person with a penis. A woman can be convicted of sexual assault, which includes other sexual acts (e.g. intentional penetration of the vagina or anus of another person with a part of her body or an object). Both are rape and sexual assault are crimes and can result in imprisonment.
You can read more about rape and sexual assault here: http://thisisabuse.direct.gov.uk/worried-about-abuse/view/rape-sexual-assult
Jo
23/02/2013
Hello, I look at the question "What is abuse?" and had a look at the signs of behavior. Some of them matched the kind of behavior my ex-boyfriend had; he hated my friends and family for no reason and threatened to end the relationship if I didn't do sexual acts. The thing is, that relationship was an internet relationship.
Is it still abuse if it's online relationship?
Jo - 23/02/2013
ReplyIts still abuse online, though when things are confined to the net it prevents most of the worst stuff!
Alex - 08/03/2013
Hi Jo,
Thanks for your message.
If your ex was trying to control your behaviour and pressure you into sex, it doesn't matter if it was online, yes that is abuse.
Emma
23/02/2013
I was going through a bad period at age 13, depression and self-harm and things, and I fell in with a crowd of mainly boys. We were out one day walking down an alley at about eleven pm and one of them asked to have sex, I said no but they started grabbing me and my friend, three boys for each of us, and then started to strip us. I started crying when I was naked, and my friend just had on a skirt, then they raped us, and left us in the alley naked. I was terrified and I felt really dirty. Some older, drunk teenagers around 16/17 found us and raped us too, and I felt horrible. After that experience, my friend committed suicide and I self-harmed a lot, what do I do? I get bullied for it, they think I'm a slut.
Emma - 23/02/2013
ReplyWow, I'm really sorry to hear that happened to you! But you are far from a slut. A slut is someone who 'voluntarily' has sex with many people. You didn't voluntarily offer to do it so you are not one at all so don't think that! Girls get called a slut all the time. I got called a slut when I lost my virginity, purely because I was the only girl in my friendship group who had lost it. That doesn't make me a slut seeing as I lost it to a guy I had been with for 8 months! But even virgins can be called a slut. It's just an insult people use. Those calling you it are immature and are insensitive and you shouldn't care about how they perceive you. They will regret it when they grow up and realise how bad it was to make you feel bad for something you had no control over!
Keep your chin up hun! :)
Hannah - 24/04/2013
Why oh why oh why do some people have to be so judgemental?
You're not a slut, or anything of sort, you're worth something, keep that in your head girl!
Alex - 08/03/2013
Hi Emma,
We are so very sorry to hear about these horrific incidents.
Being forced or pressured to have sex when you don’t want to is rape, it’s a crime and it should be reported. Please understand that none of what has happened was not your fault, there was nothing you could have done to prevent it. Do not feel guilty, ashamed or dirty, that was your body's natural reaction and cannot be helped.
It is really important you try and speak to someone about all of this if you can, especially if you have been self-harming and wanting to talk about your friend's suicide as well. Please do find someone you trust to talk to. It could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable talking to. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and trust.
And if they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. You have the right to be safe, and help and support is out there.
If you’re under 18, you can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem. Nothing is too big or small for them. Alternatively, you can go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards. You can also contact Beat Bullying on www.beatbullying.org. They provide advice to help young people who are being bullied either face to face or online.
If you’re over 18, you can call the National Freephone Rape Crisis Helpline to talk to an advisor on 0808 802 9999, 7 days a week between 12pm – 2.30pm and 7pm – 9.30pm
You can also speak to the police. Most police forces have specially trained police officers to help people who have been raped or sexually assaulted. If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger, call the police on 999.
Cat
22/02/2013
Its a real relief that this information is being put out there for people like myself who have experienced things like those described.
Hopefully more people will be aware that its not ok to do these things and it can have bad consequences. I was raped and it took me a year to tell anyone and longer to tell family,but I think the information given and the tv ads can really help a lot of people.
I have felt guilty I did'int do more to stop it happening but the information reassures me that it really was'int my fault. Its hard to write about something private in public,but hopefully anyone else who reads this and had something similar happen knows it was'nt their fault either and they can still hopefully be happy and have a happy life even if it takes a while.
Cat - 22/02/2013
ReplyEmily
22/02/2013
Hi I'm 15, 16 in June. My boyfriend is 17, 18 in April we have been together for a year and 5/6 months and some times we are fine, actually perfect but sometimes on both sides things change I found out two weeks ago he had cheated on me, baring in mind I have done everything for him, he broke my blackberry and I wasn't allowed a phone for a few months, he has strangled me and pulled knifes out on me but all that had stopped now but since then, everytime we row my instant reaction is to hit him because I get scared, and today he flipped out and me because I uploaded my profile photo on Facebook and he really didnt like it, so I left and I'm not going back to him I need help on how to stay away, please help
Emily - 22/02/2013
ReplyHi Emily,
Thanks very much for your message.
Please understand that physical abuse such as this is wrong, its never okay, and staying in a relationship where you are being abused could cause you to lose your self-esteem and confidence, you were right to leave. All physical or sexual abuse is illegal (it doesn’t matter that you were dating) and you must always report it to a trusted adult or the police.
If you want to talk to someone in confidence about your experiences you can contact ChildLine on 0800 11 11 or go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact ChildLine by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.
You can find more information here - http://www.respectnotfear.co.uk/keepingsafe/59-difficult-to-leave.html, you can also call Refuge on 0808 2000 247 for help and guidance.
And you can also hear from a survivor of domestic violence here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7a8fsrPEaYQ&list=UU697e0rGEZK8tO-qmFN6kag&index=3&feature=plcp
Olivia
21/02/2013
Hi, i took the online test on your website and I and my parents feel I need help... however I feel embarrassed to go to someone and admit that I am in an abusive relationship and wouldnt feel comfortable speaking on the phone or face to face with someone, is there anyway where I can contact someone via email?
My boyfriend checks my phone so I can not exactly phone anyone or text them....
Thank you.
Olivia - 21/02/2013
ReplyHI Olivia
Thanks for getting in touch.
Abuse is wrong and never okay. If you are suffering from emotional abuse it can damage your confidence and your self-worth. Signs of emotional abuse can include someone putting you down, calling you nasty names, trying to control you and preventing you from doing certain things or making you do things you don’t want to do, and it’s important to try and find someone you trust to talk to.
You can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem. No problem is too big or small for them. Alternatively, you can go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.
If you’re over 18, you can call the 24 hour National Domestic Violence Freephone Helpline on 0808 2000 247 (run in partnership between Women’s Aid and Refuge).
George
21/02/2013
hi, whenever i see abuse, rape etc campaigns, i usually find that there's hardly any male victim campaign videos/poster etc, or any lgbt ones, in fact i've only ever seen one.
i don't know if this is on purpose or not, but either way, all aspects of abuse and all types of relationships should be included in the campaigns, and if i'm honest i think you should put videos etc showing this.
sorry if i sound annoying or whatever but it shocks me to see that so few campaigns do include male victims/lgbt relationships..
George - 21/02/2013
ReplyHi George,
Thanks for your feedback. We are sorry that you feel like this about the campaign. We are aware that anyone can be a victim of abuse whether they are female, male, gay or straight.
To be clear, the objective of this campaign is to help both boys and girls spot the signs of abuse in relationships and raise awareness of what is and isn’t acceptable behaviour.
This site has lots of information and advice in the ‘your questions’ and ‘need help’ sections for males who have been victims of abuse and those in same sex relationships. It’s good that the campaign is prompting you to ask questions and seek more information.
We work with partners such as the Dudley Safe and Sound partnership who have produced videos about male victims of abuse and those in gay relationships, which you can view by clicking on this link. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qt-U2ue-QmU
We have also produced a video in partnership with Broken rainbow which is intended to provide advice and signpost help for LGBT victims of domestic violence.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3U0ZJFdxCtg&list=UU697e0rGEZK8tO-qmFN6kag&index=2&feature=plcp
Shannon
20/02/2013
Hi,
im in a relationship thats been on and off for a year now and at new year my partner had alot to drink and got very violent with me infront of people,
i then cryed and said it would never happen again but since then it became weekly that he would hurt, me. it slowly started off with little pinches that turned into pulling my hair shoving me and hitting me, he has only ever slapped me once in the face though.
Also there was an insident where my friend was involved on the streets and he ended up shoving her to the floor for sticking up for me, it became so bad that she called the police because she was that worrid. everytime
i try and leave he locks me in his room or my room and also everytime i tell him its over he threatens to tell all my private stuff to my family and friends which makes me feel sick.
i love him so much and i wouldnt want to loose the love i have for him but i feel like each time i get closer to loosing it with him. it is now so current that he will hit me everyday and blame me for it. he wont let me on my phone around him and his fisically takes it off me and threatens to call up my parents if i dont do what he says and also he will check up onmy phone hourly and never lets me see my friends or spend a day without him.
the other day he locked me in his room so i decided to climb out his window and get out but he dragged me back into his room and shoved me onto the floor. everytime he gets violent he crys and blames me for it, he keeps saying it because of my own actions.
i dont know what to do. he said he will change and we called up the doctor and went in for an appointment and the doctor refered us to a councilor but the only time we can go in for a checkup is months away.
i feel like nobody is helping, he said he wants to change and not lose me but we dont know what to do or go to as everyone so far has been no help and its carrying on too much.
all my friends have seen my bruises the odd one tr two but now im covered in them and i just want this to stop. please help.
Shannon - 20/02/2013
ReplyHi Shannon,
Thank you for posting.
Abuse is wrong and never okay. If you’re suffering from physical abuse, and signs can include slapping, kicking, hitting or injuries as a result of violent behaviour, it’s important to try and find someone you trust to talk to. It could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, a close friend, a youth worker or anyone else that you feel comfortable talking to. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and trust.
If they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does, you have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.
If you’re under 18, you can also call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem. No problem is too big or small for them. Alternatively, you can go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.
If you’re over 18, you can call the 24 hour National Domestic Violence Freephone Helpline on 0808 2000 247 (run in partnership between Women’s Aid and Refuge).
You can also hear from a survivor of domestic violence here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7a8fsrPEaYQ&list=UU697e0rGEZK8tO-qmFN6kag&index=3&feature=plcp
Harley
20/02/2013
Hello
I am 15 and I have just got out of what is considered an abusive relationship, he only hit me a few times but everyday I was told that I wasn't worth any of anyones time. He blocked most of my male friends on my Facebook and deleted so many peoples numbers off my phone and threatened me. Obviously as I am so young I was too scared to leave him as before when I tried, he attempted to sexually assault me. I contacted police about it but as nothing actually happened, it wasn't a strong enough argument to get him charged.
At the beginning of this year, with the help of certain family members I finally ended it with him, but my mum doesn't believe that what he did to me has made me paranoid, I don't think she even believes he even did any of that to me, as she really liked him, please, can you give me advice on how to stop this paranoia and get my mum to believe me? Thank you.
Harley - 20/02/2013
ReplyHi Harley,
Thanks for your message, we're so sorry to hear about the abuse you've been suffering.
Abuse is wrong and never okay. If you've been suffering from emotional abuse it can damage your confidence and your self-worth. Signs of emotional abuse can include someone putting you down, calling you nasty names, trying to control you and preventing you from doing certain things or making you do things you don’t want to do. And signs of physical abuse can include slapping, kicking, hitting or injuries as a result of violent behaviour.
It's good you spoke up and left your ex, if you're distressed and want more support and advice, it’s important to try and find someone you trust to talk to. This doesn’t have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and trust.
And if they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does, you have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.
You can call ChildLine in confidence on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem. Nothing is too big or small for them. Alternatively, you can go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.
Celine
20/02/2013
I made the mistake of getting together with one on my male flatmates at the beginning of university.
For a couple of months we have been seeing each other but not officially an item. In these few months he has verbally abused me everyday, had huge rows, he constantly checks my phone and facebook. And on the odd occasion tried to persuade me to have sex with him, I'm a virgin so I'm convinced to have it with someone I really like for the first time so I've never gone through with it.
He continues to act flirty and sexual even when I ask him to stop, I've tried to stop any sort of interaction but naturally living together makes it hard and he say's no I'm being silly.
He's very manipulative and persuasive. A couple of times he has physically grabbed me to not leave during an argument and hurt me a couple of times (playfully apparently).
This evening I saw an advert that was showing a abusive relationship and was surprised as to how similar it is to me and him. And recently I've seen the impact our relationship has had on me. Anyway tonight I mentioned to him that the way he acts is abusive, he turned around and laughed and said that it was me that acted like that too and that I was a hypocrite.
That then led to me accepting that I may be part to blame too. Then I said I think we have an abusive relationship and need to sort it out he then laughed uncontrollably... then saying I've had two large rum and cokes. I had nothing more to say and asked him numeral times to leave my room. Eventually he did.
I don't know what to do or who to talk to ... my friends are exhausted with the situation and I don't know what to do. Is this abuse? I don't know if it is and what to do?
Celine - 20/02/2013
ReplyHi Celine,
Thanks very much for your message.
In answer to your question, yes, what you've been experiencing is emotional and physical abuse. Please understand it's not your fault, you are not to blame.
Abuse is wrong and never okay. Emotional abuse can damage your confidence and your self-worth; signs can include someone putting you down, calling you nasty names, trying to control you and preventing you from doing certain things or making you do things you don’t want to do. Physical abuse can include slapping, kicking, hitting or injuries as a result of violent behaviour.
Please also understand that being forced or pressured to have sex or take part in sexual activity that you don’t feel comfortable with is totally unacceptable. We think you need to speak to someone you trust about your experiences - it could be a teacher, a parent or other relative, or anyone else that you feel comfortable talking to. It doesn't have to be someone in authority, just someone that you think you can talk to and trust.
And if they don't want to listen, keep trying until you find someone that does. You have the right to be safe and help and support is out there.
You can call the 24 hour National Domestic Violence Freephone Helpline on 0808 2000 247 (run in partnership between Women’s Aid and Refuge), they will be able to provide support and guidance on all aspects of dometic violence, including the forms of abuse you have been experiencing.
Javier
19/02/2013
Hi
I have a question.
Under the "Rape/Sexual Assault" section in the "Am I Abusive" section (http://thisisabuse.direct.gov.uk/am-i-abusive/view/rape-sexual-assult) The definition states that "Rape is when a man forces his penis into the vagina, anus or mouth of another person when that person doesn't want him to do so; the law calls this 'without consent'."
So if a woman was to have sex with someone without their consent, would that still be classed as rape?
Javier - 19/02/2013
ReplyHI Javier
Thanks for getting in touch.
The law says that rape can only be committed by a man as for the offence to be committed there must be intentional penetration of the mouth, vagina or anus of another person with a penis.
A woman can be convicted of sexual assault, which includes other sexual acts (e.g. intentional penetration of the vagina or anus of another person with a part of her body or an object). Both rape and sexual assault are crimes and can result in imprisonment.
You can read more about rape and sexual assault here: http://thisisabuse.direct.gov.uk/worried-about-abuse/view/rape-sexual-assult